So much of our lives are shaped by how we carry ourselves — our self-confidence, if you will. Yet I have come to believe that confidence is actually an indicator of:

a) the ability to convince people you have confidence when, in fact, you don’t, or

b) severe narcissism and a delusional belief in one’s self.

As luck would have it, I once befriended a co-worker, with whom I shared some musical interests, who fell very much into “column B.” He was a guitarist who fancied himself a singer/songwriter and, while his songs were pleasant enough, he had an uncanny knack for writing tunes that keenly captured the essence of songs that already existed. When he played a show and a girl came up afterwards and said that one of his songs sounded like something she’d heard on the radio, but she couldn’t remember what, he took it as a supreme compliment.

I had never met a guy who took such shameless pleasure in talking about himself. At first, I just thought it was because we shared an office and quickly ran out of other things to talk about, but when we ventured out for a night on the town at one of L.A.’s many hotspots where aspiring (and expiring) actresses gather, the night would invariably go a little like so:

He’d spot a couple tramp stamps, wander over, introduce himself, and then challenge the women to get a word in edge-wise over the next couple hours before escorting one “lucky lady” back to his place. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 2% [?]

I’ve spoken before of ESDMusic.com, one of the blog sites connected to my full-time employer, Bullz-Eye.com, to which I contribute. These days, ESD Music exists predominantly as an alternate haven for Bullz-Eye’s quick-take CD reviews, but once upon a time, we tried valiantly to make it into a regular stop for music fans a la Popdose; it never really took off the way we wanted, which is why it’s currently little more than a ghost town, content-wise, but we did occasionally produce work that caught the eye of ‘net surfers. I continue to remain surprised by one of my postings, however, if only because it was an entry from a short-lived feature called “Lost Bands.” I mean, you’d figure that something about a lost band wouldn’t score much love. But I wrote it in September 2006, and as of last month, it was still getting the occasional response from people who were accidentally stumbling upon it as a result of an internet search.

It just goes to show you: just because a band is perceived as “lost” doesn’t mean they don’t still have fans out there…and that’s clearly true for the Gunbunnies.

Here’s what I wrote of them at the time:

Like so many disaffected teens with a jones for new music, I spent some time working in music retail…and one of the many bands I discovered during this era (1989 - 1994, with some time off to attend college) was the Gunbunnies. Signed to Virgin Records back in the days when the label was flooding stores with promotional copies of albums by their new artists, we scored both cassette and CD promos of their debut album, Paw Paw Patch, and it’s clear Virgin had high hopes for these guys. Their single, “Stranded,” was picking up quite a bit of college radio airplay, and the critics were loving the fact that the album was produced by the legendary Jim Dickinson (Big Star, the Rolling Stones, the Replacements). Plus, the band’s lead singer and songwriter, Chris Maxwell, had put together 10 songs that could hold their own with bands like Guadalcanal Diary, House of Freaks, and the like…and although he had a highly competent band behind him, Maxwell was practically a one-man band; he played guitar, harmonica, trumpet, and electric sitar on the album! Poised for success…? Yeah, not so much. The Gunbunnies disappeared after Paw Paw Patch…and I mean really disappeared. Not only was there no follow-up album on Virgin, there was no follow-up, period. Maxwell didn’t even go solo; he just vanished. Well, okay, he didn’t vanish vanish; if AllMusic.com can be trusted (and they usually can), he left music altogether for about five years, then returned to play bass for They Might Be Giants and to do some production work for artists like the Lunachicks…but, of course, that’s if this is the same Chris Maxwell. Can anyone confirm or deny…?

Okay, first off, I was younger and more naive in 2006, because I feel quite strongly now that AllMusic.com is no more trustworthy than IMDb.com, which is to say that it’s only as accurate as its researchers. But even now, their entry on Chris Maxwell is sorely lacking. Don’t bother writing in to say, “Didn’t you know that he was in Skeleton Key?” And don’t waste your time asking, “Don’t you know that he and Phil Hernandez make up the production duo known as The Elegant Too?” Granted, I didn’t know either of these things when I wrote that piece, but I certainly do now. Indeed, I actually found Mr. Maxwell via The Elegant Too’s MySpace page, where he thoughtfully answered a few questions for me. But before we get to those, let’s talk about the album itself a bit more.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 2% [?]

When I was in middle school, I had a lot of ideas for music videos. Generally, these ideas were boring and tame — mostly because at the time, I was listening to a lot of really sappy, sad music (I changed from a private school to a public school between seventh and eighth grade and had a bit of a hard time with it). Most of these ideas consisted of one boring act, definitely not enough to sustain an entire video — a woman packing, for example. And instead of ever developing these ideas or incorporating others, I would just do it myself, without even filming. If my idea was a woman running through grass, I’d put the song on, then run out on our lawn. If the song made me think of a woman cuddling by the fire with her cat, I’d turn the song on repeat, then do just that. It’s no mystery why I never tried to make it into the business. I’d be hard-pressed to remember any ideas that coordinate with songs now, except for one: Fleetwood Mac’s “Silver Springs.”

Fleetwood Mac, “Silver Springs” (download)

I had a huge crush on a guy in sixth and seventh grade, and of course felt that I was mature enough to understand love and loss, being as we were so prematurely and painfully separated by my going to public school (our private school only went through 8th). Nothing had ever happened between us and likely the extra year wouldn’t have made a difference (our school was pretty uptight!), but I was convinced that this was a great tragedy in my life.

Around this time, the late ’90s Fleetwood Mac live album, The Dance, came out, featuring “Silver Springs,” which I hadn’t known was a rather rarely performed or even heard song at the time. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 3% [?]

Over the past several months I’ve been engaged in a Vision Quest on this tiny slice of the Internet, attempting to locate and suitably disparage the worst Number One songs of the Rock Era. That quest will reach some sort of fruition next week with a rundown of the worst-bests of our current decade; however, the process of reviewing the top songs of the last two decades has compelled me to focus on the myriad changes that have rocked the music industry – and the pop singles charts – since my brief tenure as a copy editor and writer at Billboard in the early 1990s. In order to understand those changes more clearly, I decided to enlist the guru himself – Geoff Mayfield, Billboard’s Director of Charts and Senior Analyst.

If you’re a chart obsessive like I am – and if you’re still reading this, you probably are – you likely are aware that, beginning around the time I worked at the magazine (really, I swear it’s not my fault), dramatic changes rocked the seemingly well-oiled machine known as Billboard’s Hot 100. The magazine began using computerized analyses of both airplay and sales at that time, in an effort to make the Hot 100 and its other charts more accurate than ever; paradoxically, though, changes in the practices of those who spun, manufactured and sold music conspired at that time to make the magazine’s flagship chart a less-accurate reflection of the public’s musical tastes.

By the end of the ’90s, the chart which had defined American popular music for four decades would be, arguably, a shadow of its former self – victimized by advancing technologies, fragmenting radio formats, declining sales and panicking record companies. These changes manifested themselves in ways that were clear to anyone who followed the charts closely. For one thing, singles began achieving longer stretches at Number One than had previously been the norm; whereas exactly one song (Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical”) had spent as many as 10 weeks atop the Hot 100 between 1958 and 1991, no fewer than 15 have done so since then. Similarly, since 1995 a dozen singles have debuted at Number One; no single had done that in the first 40 years of the rock era.

On the other hand, since the ’90s it has been common for singles to advance all the way to the top of the Hot 100 without receiving airplay on hundreds of the stations that participate in the chart’s radio panel. And, in the development that was perhaps most disturbing to chart-watchers, during the ’90s many of the biggest radio hits – particularly songs by rock-oriented acts – failed to chart at all. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 3% [?]

This past Thursday NBC unceremoniously said goodbye to the medical sitcom Scrubs after seven seasons. The series, which introduced Zach Braff to most of the world (before he moped his way through Garden State), gave John C. McGinley the fame he so well deserves, and resurrected the career of Sarah Chalke, has been a critical darling since it went on the air in 2001. For a brief time, it gained a mass audience — that is, until NBC began shuffling its time slots. Pretty soon, that mass audience became a small, loyal group of fans. Seriously, when are executives going to learn that people follow routines when they watch television? They are called viewing habits for a reason. When you move a show around two or three times, people are going to give up trying to find it, even if they do have a DVR. I do give NBC credit for keeping the show on the air for so long. Scrubs lost some of its charm as it evolved from a dramedy with some cartoonish elements into a silly sitcom trying to make us laugh every 30 seconds. By trying too hard for zaniness, the writing became inconsistent and predictable. This inconsistency was frustrating for those of us who latched on to the show in the early seasons.

This past winter, during the writers’ strike, NBC had the perfect opportunity to lure more viewers back into Sacred Heart Hospital; they promoted new episodes and aired them back to back. With nothing but reruns on the other channels, you’d think people would have tuned in. They didn’t. When NBC announced their new schedule for the coming year, Scrubs was … scrubbed. A couple weeks ago, NBC switched time slots between Scrubs and Fey’s 30 Rock, giving the latter the choice placement behind The Office at 9:30 pm. When the season finale rolled around last week, there was little fanfare and little sentiment from the network. What a shame. Even if Scrubs wasn’t as great as it once was, it still deserved a nice sendoff after seven years.

However, fair viewers, this is not the end of the show. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 4% [?]

For about as long as there’s been music, dudes have been writing songs about younger girls — but since the dawn of rock and roll, singing odes to teenage flesh has been one of the genre’s proudest traditions. Thus, when our own Matthew Bolin suggested that one of our first lists should be a rundown of our favorite age-inappropriate rock songs, the suggestions came fast and furious. This list only scratches the surface — of the songs we discussed, or the ones we forgot — but it contains a pungent blend of classic and little-known statutory rock anthems. Prepare to feel terribly unclean!

Chuck Berry, “Almost Grown” If it weren’t for underage girls, it seems fair to say that Chuck Berry might never have been inspired to pick up a guitar — and rock & roll as we know it might never have come to be. And okay, so “Almost Grown” isn’t as lecherous as, say, “Sweet Little Sixteen” — but even if this song’s protagonist is supposed to be the same age as the “little girl” he’s got his eye on, this is still Chuck we’re talking about. –Jeff Giles (download)

Brian Wilson, “Hey Little Tomboy” When a song starts off with the line “Hey little tomboy, sit here on my lap,” and Mike Love was anywhere within a 50-mile radius when it was written or recorded, you know you’re dealing with a towering classic of skeeve. Here’s the Brian Wilson demo, for that extra element of drug-addled psychosis. –JG (download)

Foreigner, “Seventeen” The title “Seventeen” is pretty common in pop music. If you AMG’d the title, you’d likely get a couple dozen different tunes all named the same. Yet it is hard for me to believe that any of the other performers looked quite as… old… as Foreigner did, even back then. Lou Gramm with his rangy, mangy, almost bro-fro, Mick Jones looking more like Chumley the janitor rather than a student… If context is everything, then picture these guys mourning the young’un that got away in the tune, and then go to therapy, you filthy pedo. –Dw. Dunphy (download) Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 6% [?]

On Thursday, May 1, Representative Vito Fossella (R-NY) was arrested for drunk driving in Alexandria, Virginia, after running a red light, and was released into the custody of a former Air Force officer named Laura Fay. The New York tabloids started to raise questions about Fossella’s past, which led to the married father of three admitting on May 8 that he is actually a father of four — an affair with Fay, who lives in Alexandria, produced a daughter who’s now three years old.

I … am … shocked! Not because another Republican congressman revealed a damaging secret that could cost him his job — we’ve all seen this rerun before — but because a DWI arrest could force such damaging secrets out into the open so quickly. I mean, everybody’s been arrested for a DWI or three in their lives, right? The cast of ABC’s Lost have racked up at least three dozen all by themselves since 2004. But then, working on a hit show while living in Hawaii would probably drive anyone to drink. The intricacies of the Emmy nomination process alone — madness!

Last week I was arrested for impersonating a police officer while jaywalking. See, I like to take my time crossing the street, even when I’m crossing on a red, but most drivers don’t think I deserve such a luxury. Luckily, I saved my “Village People motorcycle cop” costume from last Halloween, and now I use it to stop traffic whenever I want. (You could argue that the assless chaps that came with the costume are what’s really stopping traffic, but you really should see my hand signals — they’re authoritative yet nonthreatening.) But when I stopped a police funeral procession last Wednesday so I could pick up a quarter in the middle of the road … well, I’m sure you can imagine how well the 37th precinct took it.

My girlfriend, Aimiee (she says it’s a French spelling), bailed me out, and my lawyer/friend Dave-o has agreed to represent me in court or at least pay me $100 if I represent myself and somehow get the charges dropped. But I’m nervous — will all of my dirty secrets become public knowledge once those jackals from the media start cross-referencing my various police reports? I admitted last week that I’m the serial killer who murdered 3,100 record stores over the past five years, but there are other dark corners in my past, and I feel it’s my duty to shine some light on them if I want to stay one step ahead of the media.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 4% [?]

BOTTOM LINE: A solid play about straight guys that both genders should find relatable and entertaining. See it now — it closes Sunday, May 18.

The Four of Us is the story of Ben (Gideon Banner) and Dave (Michael Esper), the former a novelist, the latter a playwright. Both are in their mid-20s and trying to get their professional lives in order. Friends from summer camp, they’ve gone through their formative years together, always there for one another to lean on. But the nature of things is disrupted when Ben gets a superlucrative book deal. Dave has to deal with his innate jealousy of Ben’s success and their subsequent drifting apart as their careers advance.Like many other productions at Manhattan Theatre Club, The Four of Us is a new work by an emerging playwright, written about recognizable characters and set in the present day. The dialogue is reflective of two friends who are both expressive and self-aware — it’s witty, snarky, and touching, and most importantly, it feels real.

The storytelling techniques in The Four of Us are utilized successfully, especially for a story that’s essentially about storytelling. Playwright Itamar Moses uses nonlinear narration, and as the scenes progress the audience learns more about why these guys are who they are, and how their friendship propelled them to their current state of being. Esper and Banner are perfectly cast as two well-intentioned guys trying to navigate through the early part of adulthood; their professional lives are about written expression and they’ve got a lot to say.

The Four of Us has been extended through May 18. Check it out while you still can. It’s the kind of story that could certainly live as a movie but is much more compelling told onstage. It’s thought-provoking in all the right ways, and an overall enjoyable experience.

The Four of Us plays off-Broadway at NY City Center’s Stage II, but only for a little while longer: Tue-Sat 7:30 PM, and Wed, Sat, and Sun 2:30 PM. Tickets are normally $50, but use the following discount codes — 3792 (visit nycitycenter.org) or 4TAF (call 212-581-1212) — to get tickets for $30. The show runs 90 minutes without an intermission. Check out mtc-nyc.org for more info, and visit theatreiseasy.com for more NY theatre reviews (and other useful information).

Popularity: 4% [?]

The Waterboys - World Party from Fisherman’s Blues (1988)
Ivan Neville - Ghetto Street from Saturday Morning Music (2002)
Ray LaMontagne - Country Girl from Rarities (year)
Splitsville - Your Way, My Way from Ultrasound (2005)
Red House Painters - Priest Alley Song from Songs for a Blue Guitar (1996)
Stick McGhee - One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show from Atlantic Rhythm & Blues (1947-74) (1991)
The Innocence Mission - Song About Traveling from Small Planes (2001)
Bob Dorough - Hodges from Right On My Way Home (1997)
Cheap Trick - Woke Up With a Monster (live) from Silver (2001)
Chuck Mangione - Chase The Clouds Away (live) from Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1978)
Evermore - Without Your Smile from Dreams (2006)
Fishbone - Unyielding Conditioning from The Essential (2003)
Larry Adler - St Louis Blues from The Virtuoso of the Mouth Organ (2005)
Hans York - Inner Windows from Young Amelia (2008)
John Mayer - Comfortable (live) from Live Bootleg (2000)
The O’Jays - Use Ta Be My Girl from The Sound Of Philadelphia: Gamble & Huff’s Greatest Hits (2008)

Popularity: 8% [?]

So, I’m about to reveal to you a problem I have that only a few know about: I cannot scream. That’s right, I can’t yell really loud at anything. I can raise my voice, I can get angry, but for some reason, I really can’t scream out loud. It’s hard to explain what actually happens when I try to — I mean, I just can’t condition myself to actually do it. So of course, today, when I heard “Summertime” (download) – the first single from the reunited New Kids on the Block — I naturally had to call up my BFF Suzy so she could just do all the screaming for me (what? It’s totally fine for a 32-year-old man to have a BFF). For like 15 minutes we went back and forth trading “Oh my God like totally” and “they’re so dreamy” statements. It’s was like 1989 all over again!Okay, so I admit I’m stretching the truth a bit there at the end, but it’s hard to be serious when you’re a grown man that has just listened to Jordan Knight sing for the 10th time in the span of an hour.

As you might have heard by now, New Kids on the Block are back. On May 13th, they are releasing their new single “Summertime,” with hopes of a fall album and a scheduled tour. But thanks to this little Internet thing here, I can listen to the song early! And I mean, who wouldn’t want to? This has all the makings of a smash hit, and by that I’m trying to say that it’s complete nonsensical dribble. I swear, if T-Pain were on it, it would be #1 tomorrow. Hell, it might not need any help because you know, as really (and I mean really) sad as this might be, I was actually looking forward to hearing this for the first time. I just listened to Slayer in the car today, and yet here I am creaming myself over the thought of hearing the New Kids reunite. And I swear to you that now I am absolutely not stretching the truth at all. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 10% [?]