The Three Strike Rule: “American Idol”

Astute analysis of the Davids. I was hoping against hope last week that Syesha would somehow beat Archuleta, who hasn't given a single worthy performance in about two months.

This season, even more than usual, the entire Idol apparatus has been insisting that we've been witnessing unprecedented talent. I don't buy it. Not a single contestant “grew as an artist” (in Paula-speak) from week to week, the way Jordin did last season. The “voters” are at least partially at fault here, for getting rid of people like Michael Johns and Carly (300 copies) Smithson early.

Still, we don't know a single thing about Archuleta's “talent” that we didn't know in February (except maybe how he has no emotional range whatsoever). Meanwhile, Cook is a “rocker” who seems to be at his very worst when singing an actual “rock” song, as in last week's horrible “Dare to Make You Move,” and at his best when he's (vaguely) rockifying something like “Hello” or “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.”

Research apparently has shown that about half the Idol audience likes the audition shows most of all–primarily because of the train wrecks. Of course, the “screening judges” send those horrible people through on purpose; they're not sending the “best” candidates through, they're sending the “most entertaining” people, good or bad.

The ratings issues will continue; I'm pretty sure Idol's wave has simply crested, the way any reality show's audience will slowly drift away as the show does the same thing over and over again. Still, I'd rather have Idol's ratings issues than, say, NBC's.

Well, that's yolk on my face.

I swear I double checked that one, too.

You're a smart man, Dunphy, you bastard. You only named half the offenders this season, however–even the obviously not-that-great Kristy Lee Cook and Brook White (whose album turned up on iTunes right after she got kicked off) have previous professional credits.

They're obviously struggling (and fudging their standards of “unsigned talent”) to come up with a critical mass of decent contestants; I'm guessing that problem's only going to get worse in years to come. Maybe when they get a couple steps higher on the ladder of “ringers,” folks will stop attaching themselves to contestants. More likely, though, we'll come across a Paula scandal of impossible-to-forgive proportions–pre-nup arrangements with a contestant to get a contract win or lose, perhaps, or Paula providing the underage, goody-two-shoes Archuleta with some of whatever she's having.

On a brighter note, I see NBC has taken “Nashville Star” off of cable and onto the network for the summer, so at least they won't have to re-invent the wheel to play copycat. Hike up the cowboy boots…

It could be that 19 Management (the company that signs all of these wanna be singers) is tired of putting money into flops. Taylor Hicks-flop. Bo Bice-flop. Blake Lewis-flop. What's his face who was in that terrible movie with Clarkson-flop. Fantasia-living on some other planet (perhaps hanging out with Sly Stone).

Personally, I have no problem with these folks doing whatever they can to achieve their dreams. That's the American way. In the case of Carly Smithson, who had real personality, it would have been a pleasure to see her win. Alas, her tattoos and Irish lilt didn't fit the American Idol image and she was constantly cut down by the judges.

Interestingly (or not), this is from taylorography.com:

The entry below dated January 5th, 2008, contains accurate information concerning the recent split with Taylor Hicks and J/Arista Records. We have found overwhelmingly since the story surfaced, that the prevailing spin in the media is Taylor Hicks was “dropped” from his contract, a notion that originated with the January 3, 2008 article, by writer Shirley Halperin, titled “Taylor Hicks, Ruben Studdard dropped from J Records?”

Considering that the dropping scenario conveniently fit in with the prevailing sentiment that American Idol was losing viewership and clout, the press was not interested in elaborating that the split was mutual, as confirmed by both Taylor Hicks and his former record company. As a result, the majority of the subsequent media reports state as fact that Hicks was dropped, effectively convincing readers that an artist who signed a three record contract and sold 500,000 copies of his debut album in the first two weeks (without the benefit of a single or radio play), was unilaterally dumped from his deal, and somehow in the process was convinced not to initiate a breach of contract lawsuit.

Now after this erroneous story has been repeated over and over, the “dropping” it is now taken as a fact. It's just too easy for some to paint Taylor Hicks as the poster boy of a supposedly failed American Idol system. Apparently selling an estimated 800,000 copies of a debut album worldwide without the benefit of top 40 radio play is the new definition of “failure.”

Note on American Idol: For the record, we know the role American Idol played in bringing Taylor Hicks to the general public and the people who now make up his loyal fan base, is tremendous. This is in fact the show that made Taylor Hicks' career. But it is now all too apparent that Taylor Hicks has been virtually eliminated from sight, support, and mention from American Idol. It is widely believed the reason for this excommunication is the fact he was the first Idol winner NOT to sign with 19 Management, effectively cutting off millions in revenue from the company. Show producer Nigel Lythgoe has gone so far to state in two separate interviews that the American Public “got it wrong” by voting for him. To his credit, Taylor Hicks has not responded to these provocative claims.

Hey Harry,
Some of these singers are talented, but most are questionable. I'm not sure how far Iggy would have made it on American Idol, his rolling around in glass probably would have turned off a lot of people. Still, all three you mentioned are good singers. I've always thought that the Ramones were a 60's pop band dressed in wolf's clothing. And Mick, well, he's got the swagger and sexuality that he probably would win the damn contest.

Alas, American Idol doesn't want an artist. They want an entertainer (and in some ways, a puppet that they can control).

Well, don't forget that people vote repeatedly for their favorite Idols instead of once each, plus it'd be interesting to know what percentages of Idol voters are under the age of 18 anyway.