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Oprah’s Rock Club: Bolt Thrower, “Those Once Loyal”

Girlfriends, I was sitting on my diamond-encrusted toilet the other day thinking that ya’ll probably had no idea what kind of music to buy. Judging by your willingness to accept my book choices as gospel, I realize the power I wield and the idea of sending a couple million sheep tumbling off the nearest cliff does tickle me, child, but I digress.

So, without further a-do-do-do-de-da-da-da, here is this week’s pre-cease-and-desist-order Oprah’s Rock Club pick:

Bolt Thrower, Those Once Loyal (2005)

This one has been out awhile, but, hey, I’m Oprah. I get there when I get there. These lovable boys from Birmingham (England, not Alabama) deliver the goods on their ninth (and final?) long player, which sees the return of original vocalist Karl Willetts.

Like a dependable dog with a mean case of rabies, Bolt Thrower not only fetch the paper, but tear the sumbitch to shreds and lay the saliva-drenched pulp at your feet while unleashing pure skull-fucking fury on standout tracks “At First Light” and “Those Once Loyal”.

I personally thought they had done it all and said it all on Who Dares Wins from ’94, but Oprah stands corrected.

Those Once Loyal is a four-on-the-floor, Marshall-stack-powered full frontal assault on the senses that will leave your favorite Victoria’s Secret thong in a crumpled heap and smelling of motor oil on the floor of your Ford Freestar (right next to a Starbucks cup that seems to have been MacGyver’ed into a makeshift …oh, nevermind, child…Oprah’s already said too much).

Now, drop the kids off at soccer practice already and haul ass over to Borders and special order this one from the cute guy with the nose ring that works on the second floor. Like you needed an excuse, Honey.

Contemplating Jon Brion’s “Ruin My Day”

I don’t wait by the phone like I used to
I don’t hope for kind words you might say
You don’t prey on my mind like you used to
But you can still ruin my day

I’ve always been amazed, amused and, ultimately, saddened by the importance of perception in our romantic interludes. In the span of days, or minutes (as the case may be), one can go from floating on air, dropping their guard completely, and falling head over heels for someone to being sickened by the sight of them.

It isn’t that the person who once caused our heart to skip a beat each time we saw them has changed, mind you, but that our perception of them has. We’ve all probably been on the receiving end of such changes in perception and, truth be told, it would be disheartening to know what minor detail brought about such a dramatic change in perception.

In one such instance, a friend of mine who’d been unreachable for the past couple weeks, caught up in the throes of passion with someone they described as “the one,” called me out of the blue and asked if I had any dinner plans. When I asked why they weren’t spending every available minute with ‘the one,” they rolled their eyes and informed me that they’d broken it off. “Too needy,” they replied with a shrug. You or them, I asked? “Not funny,” they shot back, punching me in the arm.

See, it was only when “the one” seemed aloof and unattainable that my friend had dropped everything to pursue them. Only after “the one” reciprocated the affection and then went one further by displaying a sense of vulnerability did my friend decide they weren’t really “the one” after all. The idea that my friend might go the rest of their life repeating this chain of events struck me as incredibly sad. What was sadder is that I knew I’d been guilty of much the same thing at various points in my life. (more…)

Blatant Pop Attempts: Kix, “Cool Kids”

The cutout bins are filled with what I’ve always called “blatant pop attempts” albums created for maximum commercial appeal that, despite such intentions, failed miserably on all fronts. In most cases, one listen to the album in question reveals precisely why it was such a dud. I mean, we consumers have bought a lot of crap over the years, but we know when we’re being pandered to, right?

But what about those BPAs that really weren’t all that bad?

One such album is Kix’s 1983 release Cool Kids. I remember seeing the cover and thinking the band had a bit of a Ramones vibe going on. They looked metal, of course, but these were the days before “hair metal,” so the shaggy manes weren’t an automatic turn-off. I was in the mood to rock and these guys looked like they might just deliver, so I bought the album.

What I heard both confused and delighted me. Imagine, if you will, a band that looked like a Baltimore street gang (not that I’ve actually seen a Baltimore street gang, mind you) coming at you with a synth-heavy mix of bubblegum and vintage AC/DC. It’s a weird mix on paper and even weirder coming through the headphones, but once I wrapped my teenage mind around it, I was hooked.

“Cool Kids” is the kind of song that should’ve been blasting out of radios during the summer of ’83, a pitch-perfect slice of teen angst set against staccato guitars and a tight-as-a-prom-date (did I really just type that?) bass line. Seriously, download this bad boy and give it a spin. If you aren’t rockin’ the air guitar in your cubicle by the first chorus, we may wanna start feelin’ for a pulse, brah.

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Goodbye, Danny

The news of Danny Federici’s passing has me contemplating a number of emotions. It seems that with every passing week, there is news of cancer claiming yet another beautiful spirit and you can’t help but wonder if such a thing is really necessary, or fair, for that matter.

While I readily admit to being a recent convert to the magic and splendor that is Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, the reason Danny’s death hits me especially hard is because I too suffer from cancer. I’ve been through chemotherapy a number of times and am scheduled for surgery in mid-May to remove some tissue my doctors describe only as “suspicious.”

Even before I was diagnosed, I was well aware that cancer was the kind of disease that toys with its victims like a cat pawing at a wounded mouse. Sometimes, it takes you swiftly and other times, it lets you alive in such unbearable pain that you wish for death as a release from the prison that life has become.

What was even more disheartening were the countless stories of those who’d supposedly beaten the disease – gone into remission – only to have the cancer return stronger than ever, stealing them suddenly.

Springsteen and his band are gods. There’s really no other way to put it. I can only imagine what it must be like to have lived in New Jersey during the band’s rise from obscurity to super-stardom. Unlike most bands, Bruce and the E Street Band were a gang of brothers, bound by blood and an unwavering devotion to the cause that was rock & roll. (more…)

Boys Must Be Strong

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away lived a kid who hadn’t a care in the world. In the small Indiana town he called home, he had a ton of friends and spent his summers riding bikes around the neighborhood, building makeshift ramps out of scrap pieces of wood, and giving the stay-at-home moms (of which there were many in those days) around the neighborhood minor heart attacks with stunts that would give Evel Knievel pause.

Then one day his own mother told him the grandfather he loved more than anything was dying of leukemia. The family would move to Michigan as his dad had agreed to step in and run the auto parts stores his grandfather had turned into a thriving business.

His first day of school in Michigan would set the tone for the remainder of his childhood. One of the kids took him aside and told him that if anyone tried to beat him up, he’d protect him. Why anyone would beat him up was such a foreign concept. Back in Indiana, there’d been no cliques, no bullies, and no reason to need one of the bigger kids to protect him.

Unable to reconcile such idiocy in his mind, he retreated into his own world and found solace in the music that blasted from his stereo. It became his most trusted friend when others failed him. It understood him when others couldn’t be bothered to try. When his grandfather passed away – having beaten the cancer, but being too weak to stave off the pneumonia that followed – he lost the one human who never judged him harshly, who’d always believed in his every dream as if it were his own. This was a man who’d been told by a teacher that he’d never amount to anything. Years later, after having become a successful business owner, he was visited by this same teacher, who’d come into the store for the express purpose of saying he was wrong. The kid always remembered this when someone told him that he too would never amount to anything. (more…)

Hey, You Kids Get Out of My Yard!: Holdin’ Out for a Hero

When I was a kid, my heroes were, at the very least, deserving of adoration. The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Cheap Trick, Dan Pastorini (the one non-musician of the bunch) — the one thing they had in common was that they were immensely talented at what they did. Some would say that they were among the very best, and thus, they seemed bigger than life to me and the millions who adored them. I was inspired by them and what I perceived to be their dedication to the craft. I also admired their shrewd understanding that a fair bit of marketing went a long way, too.

Of course, the music world is not just full of legendary artists such as those named above. For as long as there have been artistes, there have been those whose marketing overshadowed their artistic endeavors. I’m thinking along the lines of C.W. McCall, Taco, and — oh, what the heck — Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

Such one-hit wonders would invariably come out of nowhere, dominate the airwaves for every last second of their fifteen minutes of fame and then, thankfully, disappear into pop oblivion. The respectable artists who were temporarily swept aside to make way for this brief dalliance with the latest “here today, gone tomorrow” pop confection would then return to their rightful place on radio playlists and the ship would right itself.

I mean, acts like Tiffany, Sly Fox, After the Fire, and others had their success, but it was always understood that they’d go away. That’s what one- or two-hit wonders did. It was understood.

But then something weird happened.

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Listening Booth: The BoDeans, “Still”

Many summers ago, I was a counselor at a remote summer camp in the heart of lake-bound Michigan and, suffering from a bad case of cabin fever (literally), I had been counting the days until my scheduled day off. Borrowing a fellow counselor’s car, I hauled ass to the nearest record shop in search of some new music to replace the cassettes I’d plum worn out since taking my position as rocketry instructor at Lake Of The Woods Camp. That day, I bought two albums sound unheard: the BoDeans’ Love & Hope & Sex & Dreams and E.I.E.I.O.’s Land of Opportunity.

I literally knew nothing of either band, but figured the album covers hinted at greatness within. Upon checking the liner notes of each, I was struck by the similarities.

For starters, both bands were from Wisconsin. Secondly, they had each occupied the same studio in L.A. during the recording of their albums, and, lastly, T-Bone Burnett showed up in the credits for each album; producing the BoDeans while adding acoustic guitar to E.I.E.I.O.’s “Blue Mountaintop” (download).

While I admit that I preferred the more rambunctious Land of Opportunity, there was a lot to like about the BoDeans’ debut. Most intriguing was the fact that they were fronted by two singer/songwriters, each with a voice and songwriting style that couldn’t have been more different. Kurt Neumann boasted a voice so honey-sweet that even when he pushed the edges, it still sounded smoother than smooth. Sammy Llanas, on the other hand, came across much more world-weary — with a voice that, to my ears, sounded like Festus from Gunsmoke. That their voices melded together to create wonderful harmonies seemed a minor miracle. (more…)

The Year in Rock: 1978

Although released in late 1977, the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack would be impossible to ignore for much of 1978, with the Bee Gees’ “Night Fever” and “Stayin’ Alive,” as well as Yvonne Elliman’s “If I Can’t Have You,” all reaching #1. At several points during the first half of ‘78, the soundtrack album was selling over 1 million units a week.

Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
Bee Gees – Night Fever (w/ More Than a Woman) (more…)

Better Late Than Never: Prince & the Revolution

The weird thing about being into music as much as I am (much to the chagrin of every girlfriend I’ve ever had) is that I still end up missing out on a few — okay, a few hundred — really cool artists along the way. It’s just not possible to be up on all the cool music out there. It isn’t. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Of course, if you were anything like me when you were younger, you were quickly jaded to the greatness of certain artists who were, for lack of a better term, fucking huge. And it’s not just my generation — my parents were kinda “meh” about the Beatles because, near as I can tell, those guys were everywhere, and just about everybody and their freakin’ brother liked them. If I’d been alive, or at least old enough to give a crap when the Beatles were still together, I probably would’ve written them off too.

Thus there are quite a number of bands that were still together when I was old enough to give a crap and their crazy level of success and/or popularity made them like Kryptonite to me. My thinking was: if all the nimrods at school like them, how good can they be?

Case in point: Huey Lewis & the News. How does a cat go from palling around with Nick Lowe and Declan McManus to, ahem, wanting a new drug?

Then there’s Def Leppard. Forget that I was the first kid in my school to own 1981’s High ‘n’ Dry — the fact that everybody else soon owned a copy of 1983’s Pyromania quickly reduced Def Leppard to Loverboy status in my book.

And Prince? Don’t get me started. (more…)

The Popdose Guide to Material Issue

guidelogo.gifThe Beginning

Mike Zelenko (drummer): “I met Jim through an advertisement in the Illinois Entertainer (a local monthly music magazine) right out of high school.

He called me a couple days after the ad started running and told me to come out to Addison, IL (where he lived) right now. With him still on the phone, I’m asking my mom if I can I borrow a car. ‘I thought you were gonna mow the lawn,’ she says. In my other ear, I hear Jim saying, ‘Tell her that if you can’t borrow the car tonight, you’ll never mow another lawn.’

What impressed me the most about Jim was the fact that he was always thinking about the band in the future, planning 3 steps ahead. Forward progress was always being made.

We had a very D.I.Y. ethic, were getting college play, and were willing to work harder than other bands. We made sure to hit New York at least once a month.”

Ted Ansani (bassist): “Jim and I were friends at Columbia College and one day he asked me to start a band with him.. In turn, I asked, ‘Do you have enough music?’ He just smirked and said ‘Of course I do, man.’”

Jim was such a prolific songwriter, every day he’d write a song that was better than the song he’d written the day before.

In the beginning, we literally ran the record company out of Jim’s bedroom. We would glue the covers together, insert the vinyl, and send them out to every college radio station in the country.” (more…)