Popdose is extremely lucky to have some of the best female writers on our staff, but let’s face it: this place is pretty much a smelly sausage factory. There’s just a lot of us dudes here, writing, grabbing our genitals, eating gross food, and spitting on the floor. It’s disgusting and I want out, because it’s an offense to my delicate sensibilities. But that’s a story for another post. My point is, I think it’s time we did something for the ladies. Or for the men who like to smell pretty. Let’s give away some perfume!
Author Archive
Friday, August 14th, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 8/18/90
Hi, everybody! Welcome back to another edition of CHART ATTACK! So I’m assuming that every single one of you sat at your computers two Fridays ago, furiously refreshing my Twitter page to follow my exciting adventures at the Jack Wagner concert. What? You didn’t? You guys are jerks. That’s the last time I invite you to…watch me do something. Well, here it is in a nutshell: my two-hour drive wound up taking five hours in the rain and traffic. I showed up halfway through the show, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I shouted for “Right Here Waiting” when he asked for requests and Jeff hit me. Then, he played “All I Need,” and…well, if you haven’t read it already, check out Jeff’s awesome account of the evening.
Anyway, last time we met here, we covered a summer week in 1992. I was convinced there were better weeks within the decade to be found. Let’s see if you agree — here’s the chart for the week ending August 18, 1990!
10. King of Wishful Thinking — Go West Amazon iTunes
9. Cradle of Love — Billy Idol Amazon iTunes
8. Have You Seen Her — M.C. Hammer Amazon iTunes
7. Do Me! — Bell Biv Devoe Amazon iTunes
6. Blaze of Glory — Jon Bon Jovi Amazon iTunes
5. Unskinny Bop — Poison Amazon iTunes
4. The Power — Snap! Amazon iTunes
3. If Wishes Came True — Sweet Sensation Amazon iTunes
2. Come Back to Me — Janet Jackson Amazon iTunes
1. Vision of Love — Mariah Carey Amazon iTunes
10. King of Wishful Thinking — Go West
I’m having a serious debate with myself right now. Do I admit to you that I really like this song a lot? That if it comes on the Lite-FM radio station, I totally won’t turn it off? And after that, do I admit to you that the first compact disc I ever owned was the Pretty Woman soundtrack, followed by Richard Marx’s Repeat Offender? Because if I tell you these things, you might think less of me, and I don’t want you to think less of me. So okay, I won’t tell you. Problem solved.
Go West, consisting of Richard Drummie and Peter Cox, was formed in England in 1982. Although they had a number of hits in their native country, the duo literally hovered around the Top 40 before 1990: “We Close Our Eyes” reached #41 (you can find out more about the single by checking out either Popdose series White Label Wednesday or Bottom Feeders) and “Don’t Look Down — The Sequel” reached #39, leading me to wonder how anybody hits the Top 40 with the word “sequel” in the title. (Only one other artist has done it — if you know who, shout it out in the comments!) It wasn’t until veteran A&R exec and producer Ron Fair included the song on the Pretty Woman soundtrack that Go West received their moment in the spotlight. “King” peaked at #8 and received an ASCAP award as well. You may recall one other Go West song, “Faithful,” aka “King of Wishful Thinking — The Sequel,” which reached #14 in 1992. Both songs were written by Drummie and Cox in collaboration with Martin Page, the man behind “In the House of Stone and Light.” Go West are still together, although Peter Cox has released a few solo albums — including one that contains his cover of “What a Fool Believes.”
9. Cradle of Love — Billy Idol
If you were watching MTV in the early part of the decade, surely you remember the huge news of Billy Idol’s motorcycle accident: in February of 1990, Idol ran a red light while on his Harley and was hit by a car. He almost lost his right leg; he wound up having a steel rod inserted instead. Billy’s album, Charmed Life and the single, “Cradle of Love,” ended up serving as “comeback” releases for him. They might have been determined as such anyway, as he hadn’t released a truly new album since 1986’s Whiplash Smile and hadn’t released a single since 1987’s live version of “Mony Mony,” from the remix album Vital Idol. The hype surrounding his return to the industry, coupled with inclusion in an overrated movie (The Adventures of Ford Fairlaine) and a tremendously hot video (directed by David Fincher) all helped the song reach #2 in early August. Billy hasn’t reached the Top 40 since then.
Now here’s the bad news: Billy lost two movie roles as a result of his accident. You may have heard about the first one — his role in Oliver Stone’s The Doors was significantly reduced since he couldn’t really walk. But the second role he lost?
I’m not kidding you. Billy Idol was James Cameron’s first choice to play T-1000 in Terminator 2. It’s totally true!
8. Have You Seen Her — M.C. Hammer
Okay, look. I understand that “U Can’t Touch This” was a huge hit. I’d even call it a deservedly huge hit. It’s awesome. The only thing wrong with it is that it gave Rick James more money for blow. But just because one song is a hit doesn’t automatically mean that every song after it should be given a free pass. This song is just terrible. Absolutely terrible. And even worse, it reached #4, beating “U Can’t Touch This” by four spots. How does “Have You Seen Her” beat “U Can’t Touch This”? This is bullshit. I’m glad he went broke.
I’m not just randomly bitching here. I can back this up.
Jason’s Top Three Reasons Why “Have You Seen Her” Sucks (more…)
Friday, July 31st, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 8/1/92
Welcome back, everyone, to another edition of CHART ATTACK! Before we get to this week’s Top 10, I’d like to remind you all that Jeff Giles, Michael Parr and I will all be at Mohegun Sun tonight for the Jack Wagner concert. In fact, I’m pretty sure Jeff might actually be there at this very moment, dreaming of Jack Wagner singing to him interviewing fans that will supposedly be waiting on line all day for tickets.
If you happen to be somewhere near Uncasville, CT tonight, and you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time, then you’re free to join us. Michael and I are bringing our wives, so if you spot two ladies in the casino weeping about the cruelty of marriage, you know we’re right around the corner. If you can’t make it (lucky you!), you can follow me on Twitter and read my up-to-the-minute recounts of what is sure to be the event of the century evening. I promise to tweet at the very second a tear falls down Jeff’s cheek.
Anyway, on to the chart! Two weeks ago, we covered a summer week in 1974, and I received some very nice comments from people reminiscing of their childhoods. So this is the week where I completely ruin all that nostalgia and hit a current year — well, current for this series, anyway. Here we go, attackin’ August 1, 1992!
10. Wishing On a Star — The Cover Girls Amazon iTunes
9. Giving Him Something He Can Feel — En Vogue Amazon iTunes
8. End of the Road — Boyz II Men Amazon iTunes
7. Life Is a Highway — Tom Cochrane Amazon iTunes
6. November Rain — Guns N’ Roses Amazon iTunes
5. Just Another Day — Jon Secada Amazon iTunes
4. Achy Breaky Heart — Billy Ray Cyrus Amazon iTunes
3. Baby-Baby-Baby — TLC Amazon iTunes
2. This Used To Be My Playground — Madonna Amazon iTunes
1. Baby Got Back — Sir Mix-A-Lot Amazon iTunes
10. Wishing On a Star — The Cover Girls
Here’s the first of three covers on this week’s chart. “Wishing On a Star” was originally recorded by Rose Royce in 1978, though it had very little success in the US — it was the Cover Girls version that has seen the most chart action, peaking at #9. Since then, it’s been covered by a number of artists, most notably Beyoncé. And I don’t understand it at all, because I really find this song terribly boring. If you don’t remember it, don’t worry about it; you’re not missing anything. Besides, everybody knows the Cover Girls’ best song was “Show Me,” followed closely by “Because of You.” These two songs are still played on NY radio all the time. (By the way, that clip of “Show Me” looks like it’s from a local public-access cable channel. Worth watching at least 30 seconds just to see if Robin Byrd is going to show up.)
9. Giving Him Something He Can Feel — En Vogue (download)
I don’t miss most of the artists on this Top 10. I’ll be just fine if I never hear from the Cover Girls again, as well as…hang on, let me count…at least five of the other artists on this chart (unless Sir Mix-A-Lot comes up with something brilliant). But I genuinely miss En Vogue — specfically, I miss En Vogue hanging around on the charts. They’re still together, although you need some kind of graduate degree to figure out the complicated soap opera of who left, who stayed, who re-joined and who didn’t. I can’t think of a popular En Vogue song that I don’t like (though I could do without the “Who’s Loving You” opening to “Hold On,” but that’s a story for another chart). Each of the women had phenomenal voices and impeccable harmonies, and I’m assuming from the live clips I’ve seen that they did most of it without a lot of fancy studio tricks.
“Giving Him Something He Can Feel” is a cover of a Curtis Mayfield song from 1976, composed for the movie Sparkle. Here’s the original from the film, sung by Sister & the Sisters, with Lonette McKee on lead vocal, and Irene Cara and Dwan Smith on backing vocals.
On the soundtrack, however, the song was performed by Aretha Franklin, who took it to #28. En Vogue brought their beautiful version to #6, produced by the group’s creators, Thomas McElroy and Denzil Foster, who had previously been members of Club Nouveau and had produced for Timex Social Club and Tony! Toni! Toné!, to name a few.
8. End of the Road — Boyz II Men
Boyz II Men: Great singers, extremely tight harmonies, great feel for R&B, can’t get arrested these days. I don’t know what happened, exactly, although it seems like Motown essentially buried them after conflicts between the label and the group. But back to better times: “End of the Road” was a massive, massive hit. It spent 13 weeks at #1, which broke a record held up until that point by Elvis Presley. Of course, Whitney Houston beat it by a week just two weeks later with “I Will Always Love You,” but Boyz II Men tied it with “I’ll Make Love to You” shortly after. So yeah. Massive hit. It was written by the powerhouse team of Babyface, L.A. Reid and Daryl Simmons, intended for a specific scene in Eddie Murphy’s Oscar-winning Boomerang. (Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.) Babyface considered keeping it for himself, but instead gave it to the guys, who recorded it in under four hours. Reid and Babyface also produced the song, but that doesn’t help me figure out who to blame for the two things that drive me nuts here: (more…)
Friday, July 17th, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 7/20/74
Hi again, everyone! Thanks for all the fantastic comments on the all-Michael Jackson edition of CHART ATTACK! Did you notice that Motown jumped all over his death and released Michael Jackson: The Stripped Mixes? And it’s scary to think that this is only the tip of the iceberg. But that’s all I’m going to say about it — I’m all MJ’d out and I imagine you are, too — so this week, let’s go back a full 35 years and see what was at the top of the charts for the week ending July 20, 1974!
10. If You Love Me (Let Me Know) — Olivia Newton-John Amazon
9. The Air That I Breathe — The Hollies Amazon iTunes
8. You Won’t See Me — Anne Murray Amazon iTunes
7. Rikki Don’t Lose That Number — Steely Dan Amazon iTunes
6. Rock the Boat — The Hues Corporation Amazon iTunes
5. On and On — Gladys Knight & the Pips Amazon iTunes
4. Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me — Elton John Amazon iTunes
3. Rock and Roll Heaven — The Righteous Brothers Amazon
2. Annie’s Song — John Denver Amazon iTunes
1. Rock Your Baby — George McCrae Amazon iTunes
10. If You Love Me (Let Me Know) — Olivia Newton-John
This song is a pretty simple pop-twinged country tune (it peaked at #2 on the Country chart and remains her highest charting song there), and is a fine vehicle for ONJ’s beautiful voice. However, the choruses feature a backing vocal by what can only be described as a drunk bullfrog. There are a number of voices joining in behind Olivia on the chorus, but this guy is just way lower (and louder in the mix) than the others, and it sounds odd. I mean, clearly it was done to achieve a certain feel, but I just can’t get behind it. What I can get behind, though, is any clip of Olivia Newton-John, ever, because she is SO DAMN CUTE.
9. The Air That I Breathe — The Hollies
I really love this song. For me, it’ll always be one of those songs that just transcends time and genre. That being said, it’s a cover fave for many “light” artists: Barry Manilow, k.d. lang, Air Supply, Judy Collins…the list goes on. The Hollies version is actually a cover itself; it was co-written by Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood and recorded by Hammond in 1972. Phil Everly covered it in 1973, and in 1974 the Hollies had, by far, the greatest success with it, reaching #6. It wound up being the last of their numerous top 10 hits. I like Hammond’s original version, and I’m also partial to a cover by Semisonic; those links will take you to the excellent Coverville podcast where I heard both for the first time.
I was thinking about including a clip of the Hollies performing the song, but then I’d be turning down a perfectly good opportunity to look at Olivia Newton-John again. So here’s her cover.
8. You Won’t See Me — Anne Murray
Aw, crap. Who the hell asked for this? Did the Beatles split affect us so much that we just allowed any cover to reach the Top 10? When Paul sang it, he had irritation in his voice; I don’t know if Anne Murray has ever sounded irritated in her whole life. She gets rid of the awesome “ooh la la la” backing vocals, and confuses the listener by featuring a somewhat funky fade-in, creating a vibe that is completely eliminated by the time she starts to sing. And yet, according to the liner notes of her greatest hits album, Lennon apparently told Murray that her cover was his favorite Beatles cover. Like, ever. If this is true, then clearly John had a soft spot for Captain & Tennille, because this track sounds like it was ripped right off of them. In fact, I’m unconvinced that this isn’t actually a C&T track with Murray singing over it.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…check out those shoulder pads!
(more...)
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: Michael Jackson Edition
What the hell, I’m jumping on the bandwagon. I don’t have too much to say about Michael Jackson’s death (okay, maybe a little bit at the end of this post), but I did love the man’s music. Like so many of you, I grew up with Thriller, bought Bad the day it came out, and threw up a little when he kissed Lisa Marie on national television. So this week, I thought I’d review some of Michael’s many songs that graced the Top 10 over his career.
A few notes before we begin: would you believe that Michael never had a song at #9 or #8? It’s true. So I took a few liberties across the chart, but every song did indeed reach the Top 10. Also, I don’t think I’ve really come to terms with the fact that Michael Jackson is actually dead (how come there haven’t been any conspiracy theories brought forth yet about this all being a ruse, and Michael is actually living in hiding somewhere with John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Olivia Newton-John’s boyfriend?), so forgive me for switching tenses here and there. I know I did it, I’m too lazy to edit it now. Okay, enough explanation — it’s time for CHART ATTACK!’s Michael Jackson Edition!
10. Off the Wall — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
9. P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
8. Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground) — The Jacksons Amazon iTunes
7. Human Nature — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
6. In the Closet — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
5. Scream — Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson Amazon iTunes
4. Got to Be There — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
3. Remember the Time — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
2. Man in the Mirror — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
1. The Love You Save — The Jackson 5 Amazon iTunes
10. Off the Wall — Michael Jackson
Peaked at #10 on 4/12/80
I’ve known this song for years and years, but I always thought it was called “Enjoy Yourself.” Nope, that’s actually a song by the Jacksons that reached #6 in 1974. This one is written by Rod Temperton, formerly known as “the white guy in Heatwave.” This marked the beginning of a very lucrative collaboration between Temperton and Jackson, as Temperton wrote “Off the Wall,” “Burn This Disco Out” and the awesome “Rock With You” for Off the Wall, and “Thriller,” the underrated “Baby Be Mine” and the just-as-mediocre-as-you-remember-it “Lady in My Life” for Thriller. Apparently Rod had a knack for writing album title songs. Anyway, “Off the Wall” features some lame lyrics and an inexplicable chimp in the opening (no, it’s not Bubbles — this was 1979, remember?), but a great hook in the chorus. That’s really what this song’s all about. If the bassline sounds familiar it all, it might be because Rod wrote a very similar part in Heatwave’s “Boogie Nights.”
Michael performed this one live frequently, both with the Jacksons (Destiny, Triumph and Victory tours) and solo, doing a pretty credible job on the Bad Tour as well. Sheryl Crow’s in the background of this video, singing backing vocals, but good luck finding her under all her hair.
9. P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) — Michael Jackson
Peaked at #10 on 11/26/83
Oooh yeah! Now we’re talking! I love every single thing about this song. It’s funky, it’s got a killer groove, great vocals and awesome synths. Minor points off for any song where Michael feels the need to talk, especially when trying to sex someone up, but it really can’t stop this one from kicking ass. The Pretty Young Things echoing back the “na na na na na” part are Janet and LaToya, not that you could possibly tell.
“P.Y.T.” was originally written by Jackson and Greg Phillinganes as a slower R&B song. Quincy Jones heard it, and apparently liked the title…and nothing else. He and James Ingram re-wrote the song into the version we all know and love. Here’s the original demo that was rejected; will.i.am later mixed the demo for the Thriller 25 album, and this version has been edited by DJ U-Tern, apparently. It’s the only version I can find.
Michael Jackson — P.Y.T. (Demo) (U-Tern Edit) (download)
In 2002, Monica sampled “P.Y.T.” for her single “All Eyez on Me,” which is actually quite good. Jackson actually gave the masters to Monica, and you can hear a few ad-libs not present on the original record near the end.
Monica — All Eyez on Me (download) (more…)
Friday, June 19th, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 7/19/86
Hello again, folks! Last time we met, we reviewed a pretty awesome chart from June of 1975. Well, since I choose these charts pretty much at random, you had to know it was inevitable that our luck might not hold out. Or did it? I’ll be interested in hearing what you think — let’s take a look at the pop-filled chart for the week ending July 19, 1986!
10. Love Touch — Rod Stewart Amazon iTunes
9. Your Wildest Dreams — The Moody Blues Amazon iTunes
8. There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) — Billy Ocean Amazon iTunes
7. Glory of Love — Peter Cetera Amazon iTunes
6. Who’s Johnny — El DeBarge Amazon iTunes
5. Holding Back the Years — Simply Red Amazon iTunes
4. Danger Zone — Kenny Loggins Amazon iTunes
3. Nasty — Janet Jackson Amazon iTunes
2. Sledgehammer — Peter Gabriel Amazon iTunes
1. Invisible Touch — Genesis Amazon iTunes
10. Love Touch — Rod Stewart
Even in 1986, how did Rod Stewart keep a straight face when singing the line “I’m gonna give you my love touch”? No, even worse, let’s look at the middle of the song, where Rod actually sings “Oooh, you’re gonna get a/oooh, you’re gonna get a big love touch.” That’s the worst of the bunch. “A big love touch”? Shame on you, Rod. I’d even take you making love to the camera a la “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” over this dreck. And who had the idea for steel drums? What a terrible idea! Although I think it’d be fun to go to the Bahamas and ask a traditional steel drum band if they know “Love Touch.” (C’mon, do we really need to hear them play Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” yet again?)
All this being said…for some inexplicable reason, I like the chorus of this song. (Well, up until he says the words “love” and “touch,” anyway.) I specifically love the line “Just gimme a chance!” because of the way he pronounces “chance.” It sounds like Harry Caray.
This is the first of four songs on this week’s chart taken from a movie soundtrack. This one in particular is from Legal Eagles, and some brilliant director decided to set the (awful) video in a courtroom, inserting scenes from the movie featuring Robert Redford, Debra Winger and Daryl Hannah. Fortunately, all three actors had the good sense to not make themselves available for the video, unlike another certain movie star…well, you’ll see.
Friday, June 5th, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 6/7/75
Hi everybody! It’s Friday and we’re back for another edition of CHART ATTACK! Before we dig into this week’s chart, I want to note a correction: Last time we met up here, I told you that Yvonne Elliman had reached #16 in 1974 with her cover of the Bee Gees’ “Love Me,” when what I meant to say was that she reached #14 in 1976. I didn’t know that I meant to say this, but JB, from the fantastic The Hits Just Keep On Comin’, informed me that I did. I’m almost positive JB knew this off-hand, without having to look it up. Impressive? Frightening? A little of both? You decide. Either way, thanks, JB!
This week, we’ll be looking at a solid chart from 1975, a very good year in general for the Billboard Hot 100, if you can get past “The Hustle.” (Just kidding, Van McCoy fans!) And as I’m sure you’ll be ashamed to know, at least six of these songs were pretty much unknown to me before I started working on this post. I’m happy to have found almost all of them. Sit back and enjoy as we look at the week of June 7, 1975!
10. Philadelphia Freedom — The Elton John Band Amazon iTunes
9. Love Won’t Let Me Wait — Major Harris Amazon iTunes
8. I’m Not Lisa — Jessi Colter Amazon iTunes
7. Before the Next Teardrop Falls — Freddy Fender Amazon iTunes
6. When Will I Be Loved — Linda Ronstadt Amazon iTunes
5. Old Days — Chicago Amazon iTunes
4. Bad Time — Grand Funk Amazon iTunes
3. How Long — Ace Amazon iTunes
2. Sister Golden Hair — America Amazon iTunes
1. Thank God I’m a Country Boy — John Denver Amazon iTunes
10. Philadelphia Freedom — The Elton John Band
Well, well, well, Sir Elton. We meet again. It’s almost like we’ve barely parted company, what with my nose so far up your ass after Rock Court earlier this week. (Which seemed to help deliver a verdict in your favor — congratulations!) Not only that, but we’re meeting to discuss the very song that the prosecution claimed was the one that ended your golden period. Well, as you know, I can’t really agree with that statement, but I can certainly talk about the song. There’s lots of interesting things to say about the song.
Although Philadelphia adopted this tune, it’s really not about Philadelphia per se. Elton did dedicate the single to “the soulful sounds of Philadelphia,” and certainly those sounds are evident here, but as you may know, the song was written for tennis champion Billie Jean King and her World Tennis team, the Philadelphia Freedoms. As the legendary story goes, Elton was a huge fan of tennis and a good friend of King’s, and King had the team’s designer make a custom warm-up suit for him. Everybody knows the way to Elton’s heart is through either cocaine, dick or clothing. King struck gold with the outfit, and Elton promised to write her a song. Before a match in Denver, Elton arrived at the dressing room and presented King with the song.
Elton has said that he doesn’t write songs for the express purpose of becoming a hit, but this song was a blatant exception. “Philadelphia Freedom” was released expressly as a single, unavailable on any album until his second greatest hits compilation. Credited to the Elton John Band, he assisted sales of the single by putting a live version of “I Saw Her Standing There” on the B-side…featuring what would be John Lennon’s final stage performance. (The song was eventually released on both Lennon and Elton box sets in 1990.) Smart move, Elton! That wasn’t his only calculating move, however: a national radio programmer had publicly complained that Elton’s singles were too long and were messing up his playlists. He announced he’d be boycotting any single of his clocking in at over four minutes. “Philadelphia Freedom” was deliberately longer than it needed to be, clocking in at 5:39, but was so immensely popular that the programmer had no choice but to play the song. I don’t know if that’s a completely true story, although I’ve read it in a number of different books. Either way, I love it.
Here’s Elton performing the song on Soul Train. He wasn’t the first white artist to appear on the show, but let’s just say it wasn’t a common occurrance.
9. Love Won’t Let Me Wait — Major Harris (download)
There are no words to describe how uncomfortable I felt when I heard “Love Won’t Let Me Wait” for the first time (which, by the way, was Monday). I don’t have a problem with the smooth vocal stylings of former Delfonics member Major Harris (and yes, that’s his real name, folks). I don’t have a problem with the most excellent R&B groove, either. Nor do I raise any issue with the somewhat sketchy lyrics, which pretty much say, “hey, I’ll do whatever the hell I want to you, whenever I want, and don’t blame me, baby, blame love, ’cause it won’t let me wait. Press charges against love, y’see? Not me. Love.”
No, my problem is with none of the above. Listen to the track and surely you will figure out what my problem is. Here’s are some hints: I raised my eyebrows slightly at 1:35. I furrowed them at 2:33. I looked around to see if anybody could hear what I was hearing at around 3:16. At 4:00 I checked my iPod and actually said “WHAT?” out loud when I saw there was another 1:30 left. At 4:16 I’m pretty sure I was making a face like I had just accidentally eaten a slug. And at 4:30, I just turned the damn song off.
Despite all of this, as I said, the song actually is pretty solid. It’s been covered by many artists, including Luther Vandross, Jamie Foxx, Johnny Mathis & Deneice Williams (thank you, Deneice, for not going there) and John Legend. This was Major Harris’ biggest hit; in recent years, he’s reunited with the Delfonics, or at least one of the Delfonics groups out there touring at the moment. No clue who gets stuck with those backing vocals, but I’d love it if they couldn’t afford female backing vocalists and one of the dudes had to do it. And hey, is Major Harris big pimpin’ on this cover or what?
8. I’m Not Lisa — Jessi Colter
I’m pretty sure we could do an entire Mellow Gold post about Jessi Colter and “I’m Not Lisa.” It’s something of a rarity when a woman enters MG territory, so let’s take a good look, shall we? Check out these lyrics from the first verse:
I’m not Lisa
My name is Julie
Lisa left you years ago
My eyes are not blue
But mine won’t leave you
‘Til the sunlight has touched your face
Everybody got that? So apparently she’s singing this to the guy who not only can’t remember her name, but is calling her by the name of his old lover. And it’s not like they just broke up, either: she left him years ago! Why the hell is she with him? Then, on top of that, she says that she won’t leave him until the sunlight blah blah blah. So forget why she’s with him — why is she going to leave once the sunlight touches his face? This is the most selfless woman the world has ever known. She doesn’t care that he’s heartbroken over Lisa, and apparently he doesn’t even need to love her. He just needs to find happiness, and then she’s off? Really? Really? What kind of man winds up with such a woman?
The answer, apparently, is Waylon Jennings. Colter (whose first name is neither Lisa nor Julie) and Jennings were married in 1969 (following her brief marriage to Duane Eddy), and she really did stand by her man through all of his substance abuse problems. She gave up her own career in later years to take care of Jennings before his death in 2002. Though her website claims that “I’m Not Lisa” was self-penned, the lyrics were rumored to have been written by a ghostwriter — though she did write the music and played keyboards on the track. One of the things that makes this song so interesting is that she never laments for her own condition — the rest of the lyrics (and there are only a few other verses) focus on the man’s pain of losing Lisa.
Unsurprisingly, the song was a huge hit on the country charts, reaching #1, and is one of three songs on this chart to experience tangible success on both country and pop charts. It peaked at #4 here, and was Colter’s last significant appearance in these here charts. (I’m trying to sound country.) Colter did return to music after Jennings’ death, and has also released a cookbook, Cooking Waylon’s Way — you can check out her website if you’re so inclined. Here’s a video of Colter performing her hit song many years ago.
7. Before the Next Teardrop Falls — Freddy Fender
I like this song. It’s sweet, romantic and pretty. And although he wasn’t the first to record the song — apparently over two dozen artists have covered it, most notably Charley Pride — Fender was the first one to make any impact on the Hot 100 whatsoever. Though the song did reach #1 on this chart, it found its greatest success in the country world — it topped the charts, won the Country Music Association’s Single of the Year Award, and undoubtedly influenced Fender winning the CMA awards for Album of the Year and Male Vocalist of the Year. So am I weird for not immediately associating it with country? Given the style and instrumentation of the song, I likened it more to a 1950s soul song. Its country success is even more impressive when you consider the fact that the entire second verse is sung in Spanish.
Freddy Fender, who died of lung cancer in 2002, led a fascinating life. For starters, his real name is Baldemar Huerta, which leads me to wonder why he wasn’t automatically drafted into a life of swordsmanship or bullfighting or something. What a name! Why can’t I have that name? Before assuming the name of Freddy Fender, he also went by El Bebop Kid and Eddie Con Los Shades, thus paving the way for unforgivable Spanglish crimes led by assfaces such as Gerardo. He served three years in jail for marijuana possession. After getting out, he re-recorded a song of his from the ’50s, “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights,” which reached #8. When he died, they erected a Freddy Fender Museum in San Benito, Texas, where he was born. Interesting, right? And yet, through all of this, the most interesting thing about Freddy Fender was his hair.
Here’s another great pic. I like this one best. He’s totally channeling Fozzie Bear in this one. If I could write “wakka wakka wakka” in Spanish right now, I totally would.
Check out this video from the height of his popularity, when his collars extended past his shoulders and he resembled some sort of Mexican Elvis.
Let’s close this entry out with some cold shit. This is courtesy of Wikipedia:
BMI Songwriter Sterling Blythe claimed that he had sold the rights to a portfolio of songs, among them “Before the Next Teardrop Falls,” for $4,500 to settle debts when he left Nashville for the West Coast prior to Fender’s recording. Until his death in Sacramento in 2001, Blythe carried a newspaper clipping about Fender’s bankruptcy filing in his wallet.
Daaaaaaaamn!
6. When Will I Be Loved — Linda Ronstadt
Although I’ve had Ronstadt’s version of this song for a long time, I’ve never really given it a listen before — I’ve always gone straight to the original by the Everly Brothers, which I’ve known and loved for years. Stupid me, since Ronstadt does a killer job. It was the second of two mega-hits from 1974’s Heart Like a Wheel, the album that really established Ronstadt as a star. This song is a winner all-around: the arrangement, the guitars, the fantastic harmonies (especially the last line), they’re all terrific. And you know who we can thank for it?
That’s right: my alter ego, Andrew Gold! Gold played that awesome guitar solo, and was the arranger for the entire Heart Like a Wheel album. He even re-covered the song in his band Bryndle, featuring fellow Mellow Goldian Karla Bonoff! We love you, Andrew Gold!
Here’s Ronstadt, Gold and the band with a great live version of “When Will I Be Loved.”
5. Old Days — Chicago (download)
I went searching for a video clip of Chicago playing “Old Days” back in the ’70s, but couldn’t find anything, then spent another 5 minutes inexplicably watching a clip of the band playing “Along Comes a Woman” from 1984. And I wonder why it takes me so long to write these posts.
What a fantastic song. You’ve got hard rock in the intro, you’ve got some extremely funky drums in the same section, and then suddenly you’ve got a pop song, complete with horn and string section, and an awesome vocal from Cetera. And the band just segues through each section seamlessly. Not much more to add. This was one of two hits from Chicago VIII, along with “Harry Truman,” which reached #13. If you haven’t heard it before, enjoy.
4. Bad Time — Grand Funk (download)
I have to plead my ignorance on two levels here. For starters, it took me about 20 minutes to figure out this band’s name. Is it Grand Funk? Grand Funk Railroad? Wikipedia seems to use the names interchangeably. I finally figured out that the band went by Grand Funk Railroad until 1973, when they shortened the name to Grand Funk, and reverted back to Grand Funk Railroad in 1976. Why did I spend time researching this? I could have been watching “Along Comes a Woman” again.
Second plea of ignorance: I’ve known this song for a number of years, but not because of Grand Funk. I thought it was a Jayhawks song, as it’s on their album Tomorrow the Green Grass. I know, I know. I apologize. (Side note: have you heard about the Jayhawks reissues and anthology? Go to Addicted to Vinyl for info.)
In any case, now I’ve heard this original version, and I’m pleasantly surprised at how awesome it is. Farner’s vocal is really great — so great, in fact, that I’m willing to overlook the idiocy of the line “I’m in love with the girl that I’m talking about.” (Almost.) It’s fun, it’s light, and perhaps even more importantly, it’s short. (I’m looking at you, Major Harris.)
By the way, I also looked for the Simpsons clip where Homer talks about Grand Funk, because I figured it’d come up in the comments. I couldn’t find it. I know one of you will, and will make me look stupid. I’m fine with that.
3. How Long — Ace
You might think this song is a man asking his lover why she’s cheated on him, but you’d be wrong. This song, which peaked here at #3, is actually about another band trying to steal this band’s bassist. I’m not making this up. For much, much more on this song, why not check out Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold #5? I don’t have much more to add to what I wrote back then; I still think it’s a great song with a strong vocal from Paul Carrack. However, it’s only recently that I’m noticing the similarities between the guitar solo from “How Long” and the guitar solo in Steely Dan’s “Do It Again.” You be the judge.
2. Sister Golden Hair — America
Man, we’re just teeming with Mellow Gold on this week’s chart, aren’t we? I covered this song in Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold #38. If you’re curious about the cryptic lyrics, the odd conspiracy theory that he’s singing about his half-sister, and what we call Mellow Deception, please, head on over to the archives to check it out. The video I posted there is my favorite, but here’s another one from The Midnight Special.
I still love the unabashed dorkiness of Gerry Buckley. There’s only one person dorkier than Buckley, and luckily enough, he’s at #1!
1. Thank God I’m a Country Boy — John Denver
Facts first: This song was written by Denver’s guitarist, John Martin Sommeres. The studio version of the song went largely unnoticed, overshadowed by the success of “Annie’s Song” from the same album, Back Home Again. The version that topped the charts was a live version from the Universal Ampitheatre in California, shown on the television special An Evening With John Denver. Both this song and “Before the Next Teardrop Falls” enjoy the distinction of being two of six songs that topped both the Billboard Pop and Country charts in 1975.
I imagine I’m going to catch hell from all of you for liking this song. Let me preface this by telling you a little something about my upbringing. My parents liked music, but were nowhere near the obsessive music fan that I am. I don’t know where I get it from. But there were a few artists that my parents were, as a couple, pretty crazy about, and for whatever reason, John Denver was one of them. (My mom is from Queens and my dad is from the Bronx, so don’t ask me.) My first dog was named Denver. I loved Denver. So I kind of have to love his namesake. Here we are in 1980. (Me and the dog, not me and the singer.)
(Matthew Bolin calls my haircut “the Conrad Bain,” which is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.)
Here’s my argument for “Thank God I’m a Country Boy,” and don’t worry, I’m not going to go all Rock Court on you: it’s hard to argue with the fact that Denver (now I’m talking about the singer, not my dog, may he rest in peace…well, I guess may both of them rest in peace) is totally selling the shit out of this song. He may not have written it, but you can tell he believed in it, and like I said, he’s a complete dork (as evidenced in the below clip), but he’s earnest, and his audience loved him for it. You can hate it, but I’m totally on board with this song and John Denver in general. He sang with the Muppets, dammit!
Well, I guess that’s a shameful a way as any to end this week’s post, huh? Enjoy your weekend, thanks for reading, and we’ll see you in a couple of weeks for another edition of CHART ATTACK!
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 5/20/78
Howdy folks! Welcome back to another edition of CHART ATTACK! I can’t go any further without letting you know that today is the birthday of our grand poobah, Jeff Giles! Happy birthday, buddy! If you’d like to get Jeff a little something, I have it on good authority that he likes bags of poo; e-mail me privately. In the meantime, though, sit back and enjoy as we attack a pretty strong Top 10, filled with all sorts of delicious Gibbness and a couple of nice duets. It’s all part of May 20, 1978!
10. Night Fever — Bee Gees Amazon iTunes
9. Imaginary Lover — Atlanta Rhythm Section Amazon iTunes
8. Count on Me — Jefferson Starship Amazon iTunes
7. Feels So Good — Chuck Mangione Amazon iTunes
6. Shadow Dancing — Andy Gibb Amazon
5. If I Can’t Have You — Yvonne Elliman Amazon iTunes
4. You’re the One That I Want — John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John Amazon iTunes
3. Too Much, Too Little, Too Late — Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams Amazon iTunes
2. The Closer I Get to You — Roberta Flack with Donny Hathaway Amazon iTunes
1. With a Little Luck — Wings Amazon iTunes
10. Night Fever — Bee Gees
It’s kind of difficult to cover any chart from 1977 or 1978 without running into a Gibb. Here a Gibb, there a Gibb, everywhere a whiny unintelligible falsetto Gibb Gibb. But it’s hard for me to complain about it, because the majority of their songs from this period are awesome — the three Gibb-related (Gibbish?) tracks on this chart being no exception.
Take “Night Fever.” I can’t listen to “Night Fever” while I’m walking, because if I do, I start strutting down the street. I even wind up thinking I look like Tony Manero, which I don’t. I look like Tony Manero’s dwarf-albino hybrid cousin. Although all of the instrumentation is pretty much perfect (I’m betting they busted at least one wah-wah pedal in the studio), I think it’s the drums that get me struttin’ — simple, yet perfect. The drum track is similar to the one in “Stayin’ Alive,” which makes sense: drummer Dennis Byron was unavailable during the “Stayin’ Alive” sessions, so engineer Karl Richardson took a snippet of drums from “Night Fever” and looped them together to create the iconic song.
Here’s another fun little trivia fact: the Gibb influence reached #1 on the Billboard chart in one way or another from December 24, 1977 to May 13, 1978, with one exception — Player took over the charts for three weeks in February with “Baby Come Back.” Which is also awesome.
The video for “Night Fever” remained unreleased until 2004, oddly enough. Not sure why, but I have a feeling it had to do with Barry not wanting to be seen without his beard.
Here’s a version of “Night Fever” by a group called Blackfoot Brothers, taken from a bluegrass tribute album called Saturday Night Hay Fever. (sigh) I first heard it on Coverville, which features an entire Saturday Night Fever tribute show, well worth the listen.
Blackfoot Brothers — Night Fever (download)
9. Imaginary Lover — Atlanta Rhythm Section
I had so much to say about “Night Fever,” didn’t I? And now I have very little to say about “Imaginary Lover.” It’s been suggested as a track for Adventures Through the Mines of Mellow Gold, but I’m just so incredibly bored by it. I’m even bored by the extensive, extensive, extensive history of Atlanta Rhythm Section on Wikipedia. I can’t get through it, and you can’t make me. I will, however, be happy to lead you to this page, where you can read the lyrics to “Imaginary Lover” and hear a MIDI version of the song. Remember when there were so many webpages that included MIDI versions of songs, because mp3s hadn’t yet made their way to the Internet? I’m so happy that this page is still up. I love you, Angelfire.com.
Now, don’t get me wrong — these lyrics totally fall into Mellow Gold category. The guy’s rhapsodizing about how wonderful it is to have an imaginary lover, because they “never turn you down,” “never disagree,” and “they’re always there when you need satisfaction guaranteed.” I have just taken a Sharpie and written “Imaginary Lover” on my left hand. (Note: this joke was kind of obvious, so just to switch things up, I made the joke about my left hand instead of my right.)
Here’s the video for “Imaginary Lover.” It’s kind of awesome for a few reasons.
First, it opens with a shot of a bunch of tushies (:15 for you people with imaginary lovers out there). Then the lead singer is wearing a shirt with the number “69″ on it, and don’t you dare tell me that was unintentional. Check out the long hair/facial hair/sunglasses on these guys. Perfect. Then there are all these shots of half-naked pinup girls, as if we couldn’t figure out that the dude was talking about masturbating. Jesus Christ. And after that, well…okay, I stopped the video at 2:40. I just can’t get through this goddamn song! BORING.
(Although now that I look back, I guess I could have written a Mellow Gold piece on this song. Oh well.)
8. Count on Me — Jefferson Starship
Okay, but seriously: now I really don’t have anything to say. I don’t know how this happened, but I kind of missed the whole Jefferson Starship thing. I know Jefferson Airplane. You can sure as hell bet I know Starship. But Jefferson Starship? It just kind of flew past my radar. I was reminded of them recently when our good buddy Matt at Addicted to Vinyl set up a Cage Match between them and Joe Walsh. (Did I mention that Matt totally digs “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”?) He posted their song “Jane,” which is actually a pretty awesome song, but it represents the group after Mickey Thomas joined and the band went in a heavier rock direction. “Count on Me” is really kind of wussy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s somewhat pretty, but the choruses are kind of awash in muddy vocals. I never would have guessed that it made the Top 10.
Wanna hear a truly awful version of this song? Check out this live performance from 2007. Marty Balin sounds terrible. And check out Paul Kantner at 2:03 – the look on his face says it all. “What am I doing here? Why can’t I kill Marty? I can’t wait until this new boat is paid off.”
7. Feels So Good — Chuck Mangione
I have a lot I want to say about “Feels So Good,” but I’m going to be a dick and hold off, because I want to save it for a Mellow Gold entry. In return, I promise I’ll get it done within the next month, and if I don’t, you can send me all the hate mail you like.
6. Shadow Dancing — Andy Gibb
One day, when I really get back into the swing of writing, I will create a new webpage entitled Oh, How I Hate You, Andy Gibb. I’ve talked about this so many times (I even covered “Shadow Dancing” in a July post), so apologies if you’ve read it before, but if you’re new to this series, here’s my beef: I generally dislike him because I can’t differentiate anything successful he did from a Bee Gees song, which makes sense because most of them were produced and/or written by Barry, and I get angry every time I think about how he took the gifts that Barry gave him and essentially chucked ‘em out the window.
Which makes today’s entry a problem for me. Because I love “Shadow Dancing,” and — I’m sure you’re not surprised here — I love it without a trace of irony. I think it’s a fantastic song. And Andy actually had a hand in writing it as well. It’s the first song to feature a true collaboration between the four Gibb brothers. As I mentioned before, when the song reached #1, Andy became the first solo artist to have his first three singles hit the top spot — the other two being “I Just Want to Be Your Everything” (which I like) and “(Love Is) Thicker Than Water” (which can go straight to hell).
I watched a lot of clips of “Shadow Dancing” to prepare for this post, and didn’t want to repeat the clip I posted in July. I’m still conflicted on which ones you should watch, but I like this one, taken from a “Celebrity Fun Cruise” in 1983. In 1983, Andy Gibb could have damn well been stoned to death for performing a disco song like “Shadow Dancing.” Check out the :25 mark. This guy’s trying to sell this song, and though the crowd initially applauds, at this point, not a single person is into it. They’re just dead. You gotta feel for Andy. I think I understand the drug thing now.
5. If I Can’t Have You — Yvonne Elliman
…and so we continue our week of GIBB DOMINATION! When the Bee Gees began writing the songs for their next album — the album that would become the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack — they began with four dance songs, “If I Can’t Have You” being the first. The group originally intended to give “How Deep is Your Love” to Elliman, who had reached #16 in ‘74 (#14 in ‘76, thanks JB for the correction!) with her cover of the group’s song “Love Me.” Robert Stigwood (SNF svengali) insisted that the Bee Gees record the ballad themselves (good choice, although I bet Elliman would’ve sung the hell out of it too), so the group gave her “If I Can’t Have You” instead. When it topped the charts, it became the fourth #1 from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, the fourth consecutive #1 written by Barry Gibb, and the sixth consecutive #1 for RSO Records. That’s four records shattered, three if you know how to do math correctly. BAM! What did I tell you? Gibb domination, baby! The Bee Gees’ version of this song was initially released as the B-side to “Stayin’ Alive,” and was eventually included on one of their hits compliations. Here ’tis:
Bee Gees — If I Can’t Have You (download)
Although clearly her biggest hit, Elliman was a successful artist in her own right before “If I Can’t Have You.” She was the original Mary Magdalene on the Jesus Christ Superstar record, and went on to perform the role in the film as well as on Broadway. Her version of “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” reached #28 on the charts in 1971. Additionally, she covered “Hello Stranger” by Barbara Lewis, which reached #15 and topped the AC charts, and performed as backing vocalist for Eric Clapton on “I Shot the Sheriff” and “Lay Down Sally.” I think she slept with him too.
I love this clip from Top of the Pops. Try not to smile when she does. She’s beautiful and it’s infectious.
4. You’re the One That I Want — John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
I’ve been wondering what I could possibly say about this song. I can’t really rip on it, because I saw Grease when I was a kid and loved the whole thing, and thought this song was absolutely perfect for the movie. (I despise the fact that they inserted it into the musical when it was revived in 2007.) And John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John had great chemistry (evidenced in this live clip from a few years ago). So really no complaints about this song. And I just noticed that the lead instrument on this song is the bass; that’s one of the most active bass lines I’ve ever heard, actually. Man, there has to be something I can share with you guys about this song that you haven’t heard before.
Oh man! I found it! You’re not going to be able to sleep tonight after watching this! Ha ha ha!
3. Too Much, Too Little, Too Late — Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams
So this is pretty much the way it went down: Johnny Mathis had experienced huge success in the music business. His greatest hits compilation, brilliantly titled Johnny’s Greatest Hits, was supposedly the first greatest hits compilation to be released, like, ever, and stayed on the Billboard charts for 490 weeks (a record he held until Dark Side of the Moon), but he hadn’t had a Top 10 single since 1963. So Mathis decided he’d try to go the R&B route, and to do so, he enlisted Deniece Williams (who is loved by many but hated by my spell-checker) to record a duet with him. Williams had only had one prior hit, but Mathis’ producer knew of her excellent session work as a backing vocalist, as well as her work in Stevie Wonder’s Wonderland band. After the song hit #1, the duo raced to the studio to record an entire album of duets — which didn’t really do that well. The duo did re-team in the ’80s, however, to cover “Love Won’t Let Me Wait” and to record “Without Us,” aka the theme song from Family Ties.
As for the song itself, it’s well-done and nice enough, and Williams has impressive chops, hitting some ridiculous notes that we’d hear again later on “Let’s Hear It For the Boy,” but when placed next to the duet we’re about to cover at #2, it’s a bit less impressive. Sorry, guys.
2. The Closer I Get to You — Roberta Flack with Donny Hathaway (download)
I mean, really. How can you beat the pure, soulful, beautiful voices of these two? We covered Flack’s brilliant “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” a couple of weeks ago, and just like that song, I could listen to this one over and over again for hours. I’m sort of appalled this song didn’t make it to #1, actually.
Hathaway and Flack had a special relationship: they were classmates at Howard University and labelmates as well. They recorded an album of duets in 1972, which most notably featured the song “Where Is the Love,” a #5 hit. Hathaway’s problem with depression separated the duo for the majority of the ’70s, and they didn’t record together again until this single. After this song’s success, the duo headed into the studio for a second album, but never completed it, due to Hathaway’s suicide in January 1979. Flack finished the album on her own, and included the two songs that she had completed with Hathaway.
If you don’t have this song, download it — it’s wonderful. And although he’s not Hathaway, Peabo Bryson does a great job on this version from the Atlantic Records 40th Anniversary celebration in 1988. Also, his name is Peabo, so you really can’t go wrong.
1. With a Little Luck — Wings
Given all the awesome Gibb-ness on this chart, I have to admit I’m somewhat shocked that “With a Little Luck” made it to #1. I don’t think it’s a bad song, I just don’t consider it to be the best of the Wings material, and it has some pretty stiff competition on this Top 10. Still, the song topped the charts for two weeks, and ended RSO Records’ streak of #1 hits, which they had held since Christmas. (”Baby Come Back” was on RSO Records as well.) It probably also caused John Lennon to wonder, yet again, how Macca was so successful with this cheesy stuff — especially since those backing vocals at the end sound kind of Beatle-y. (I know it’s impossible, but I swear I hear Lennon on there.)
“With a Little Luck” was recorded in a 24-track studio that was installed on a yacht in the Virgin Islands, where McCartney had taken the band to record their next album. The band spent a month there, but completed the album back at Abbey Road in London. By the time of the release of London Town, guitarist Jimmy McCulloch and drummer Joe English had left the band. Which leads me to wonder: isn’t it a totally douchebag move to quit your job right after your boss gives you a full month of work on a yacht in the Virgin Islands?
If you have the Wingspan greatest hits album, you’ll notice that the version of “With a Little Luck” is the “DJ Edit.” Be thankful. The full version, clocking at 6 minutes, is almost twice as long as the edit, and really doesn’t bring anything to the table, other than an extended instrumental break featuring lots of synthesizer. It’s relatively unnecessary since the majority of the song is dominated by the synth anyway. Still, I think the song is pretty enough and it does include the phrase “inclement weather,” and I’m generally impressed if someone can fit the word “inclement” into their song without it sounding awkward. Nice job, Paul!
The video’s not that exciting, but hey, I’ve been including YouTube links all over the place, so I might as well throw in one more.
And that brings us to the end of another edition of CHART ATTACK! I had a lot of fun listening to this Top 10 (except for stupid “Imaginary Lover” and maybe “Count on Me”) and hope you enjoyed reading. Don’t forget to wish Jeff a happy birthday, and we’ll see you in a couple of weeks!
Friday, May 8th, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 5/13/89
Hey, hey, hey! It’s Friday, and you know what that (sometimes) means! That’s right, it’s time to take a look at another Billboard Top 10 from ages past, and today we’re heading back a full 20 years to see what the charts were like on May 13, 1989!
10. Wind Beneath My Wings — Bette Midler Amazon iTunes
9. Patience — Guns n’ Roses Amazon iTunes
8. Rock On — Michael Damian Amazon iTunes
7. Second Chance — 38 Special Amazon iTunes
6. After All — Cher and Peter Cetera Amazon iTunes
5. Soldier of Love — Donny Osmond Amazon iTunes
4. Forever Your Girl — Paula Abdul Amazon iTunes
3. Real Love — Jody Watley Amazon iTunes
2. Like a Prayer — Madonna Amazon iTunes
1. I’ll Be There for You — Bon Jovi Amazon iTunes
10. Wind Beneath My Wings — Bette Midler
I try to stay away from directly quoting Wikipedia entries, but this sentence is just perfect: “Because of the song’s soaring imagery and the extreme earnestness of Midler’s iconic performance, the song has become ripe for parody.” I mean, that’s totally it, isn’t it? It doesn’t really get any more earnest than this, unless you count “From a Distance,” which was totally Midler’s (successful) attempt to repeat her newfound success as an inspirational singer. Midler didn’t actually care for the song when she first heard it — she was convinced to do it by Marc Shaiman, her long-time musical director (as well as the genius behind the songs in the Broadway version of Hairspray and a million other movies, including South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut and Team America: World Police). The song won Grammy awards for both Record of the Year and Song of the Year, but strangely lost the Earworm of the Year award to “Love Shack.”
Although the song will always be tied to Bette Midler, she was far from the first person to record it. The song was written in 1982 by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley, and was first rejected by Kenny Rogers and Barry Manilow. (When Barry Manilow is turning down your sappy song, you know you’re in trouble.) Artists who recorded the song before Midler include Roger Whittaker, Sheena Easton, Lou Rawls, Lee Greenwood, B.J. Thomas, Gladys Knight (her version was called “Hero”) and Gary Morris, who recorded a country version, much to the chagrin of Silbar and Henley…until it won Song of the Year at the Country Music Awards. Apparently when Morris performs it, he often says “Bette is free to sing this however she wants, but personally, I think she butchered it.” Har!
My favorite version, however, is the duet between Midler and Krusty.
9. Patience — Guns n’ Roses
Written by Izzy Stradlin, “Patience” peaked at #4 on the charts and, recorded in a single session with three acoustic guitars, clearly showed a different side of the band. It very clearly said to audiences that Guns n’ Roses wasn’t just happy getting with teenage girls backstage. They wanted their mothers, too. Even my Lionel Richie-lovin’ mother liked this song…until the end when Axl started that “awful screaming” (which is kind of my favorite part of the song). By the way, I wish people would take that specific vocal section into account before they decide to sing this song at karaoke. It’s always painful.
8. Rock On — Michael Damian (download)
What’s sadder: the fact that I hadn’t heard “Rock On” before Damian’s version, or that I can immediately tell you that this was on the soundtrack to Dream a Little Dream, the movie starring Corey Feldman and Corey Haim? Both are pretty sad, don’t you think? I agree. (I’m sure Kelly Stitzel is with me on this one.)
You may be thinking what I’m thinking: Michael Damian, “Rock On,” total one-hit wonder, right? Actually, it turns out that he’s had two other hits in the Top 40, both in 1989: “Was It Nothing At All” made it all the way to #24, and “Cover of Love” reached #31. Damian had recorded “Rock On” a couple of years earlier in his garage with his two brothers, but it was rejected by most record labels. Dream a Little Dream director Mark Rocco asked Damian’s brothers if they could write some music for the soundtrack, and they brought him “Rock On.” The track reached #1 in early June and surpassed the original, a #5 for David Essex in ‘74.
Apart from “Rock On,” Damian’s had numerous successes: he played a lead role on The Young and the Restless for 18 years, appeared in the revival of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (and earned a Grammy nomination), and even won the BMI Songwriting Award for “Was It Nothing At All.” Furthermore, he’s directed two award-winning independent films! So there’s no mocking Damian here, folks. This guy hasn’t really done anything to…aw, Jesus. Wait a second.
Friday, April 24th, 2009
CHART ATTACK!: 4/22/72
Happy Friday, everyone, and welcome back to CHART ATTACK! This is a pretty solid, diverse week on the charts: six out of our ten artists are black, and the other four are, like, the whitest artists in the world. They’re all a part of April 22, 1972!
10. Doctor My Eyes — Jackson Browne Amazon iTunes
9. A Cowboy’s Work is Never Done — Sonny & Cher Amazon iTunes
8. Heart of Gold — Neil Young Amazon iTunes
7. Day Dreaming — Aretha Franklin Amazon iTunes
6. Betcha By Golly, Wow — The Stylistics Amazon iTunes
5. In the Rain — The Dramatics Amazon iTunes
4. A Horse With No Name — America Amazon iTunes
3. I Gotcha — Joe Tex Amazon iTunes
2. Rockin’ Robin — Michael Jackson Amazon iTunes
1. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face — Roberta Flack Amazon iTunes
10. Doctor My Eyes — Jackson Browne
I’ve never really paid much attention to Jackson Browne, but I really, really like this song. I love the piano with the stuck key at the beginning. I love David Crosby’s backing vocals (and I didn’t know until now that Nash was on there as well). I love the percussion, and I love the guitar work. And of course I love the bass playing — it’s frickin’ Lee Sklar! Who doesn’t love Lee Sklar?
This was Browne’s debut single from his debut album, and his only entry in the Top 10 until 1982’s “Somebody’s Baby” (which was his last). The song was covered — and this totally baffles me — by the Jackson 5 almost instantly, appearing on their 1972 album Lookin’ Through the Windows. The “baby, baby” opening kind of sucks, but Michael sounds great.
The Jackson 5 — Doctor My Eyes (download)
9. A Cowboy’s Work is Never Done — Sonny & Cher
Let me just play you something. Here’s the opening of “A Cowboy’s Work is Never Done.”
Got it? Okay, now listen to this.
Am I crazy?
Peaking at #8, this incredibly stupid song was (thankfully) the last Top 10 hit for Sonny & Cher. And you know what sucks more than this song? This song’s video. Watch Sonny Bono play air guitar. It’s terrible.
8. Heart of Gold — Neil Young
Neil Young has only had one #1 single in his career. This is it. And it’s his only song to crack the Top 30 as well. I think it’s safe to say that Neil Young is a failure. I’m sure he’d agree.
