To prove how awesome this car was, I was driving through the small shopping 'burb of Keyport one October day. The air was crisp, the living room speakers I installed in the way-back were cranking out Adrian Belew's “Young Lions” and the town was buzzing with excitement over some Oktoberfest parade or somesuch. While slowly ambling down the narrow Main Street, a woman in a Beemer threw her door into traffic.

Well, The Banana bent that door straight into her quarter-panel and I couldn't have been going more than 15 miles an hour. She was pissed. We waited for the police. He took a look at her door, smashed flat into her front end, surveyed my bumper with the three lowly black paint strands on the corner and asked what happened. I said, “She opened her door into traffic. It happened too fast to avoid it.”

Her response was, “He should have stopped for me” but it was said in the tone of, “He should have stopped because I drive a BMW and have license to do as I please while he drives a stupid old Banana.”

The policeman replied, “You know this road is narrow. You shouldn't have opened into traffic.” A report was filed but he didn't give me a ticket. On the report he clearly stated she opened her door into traffic, thereby negating any claim she could have socked me for insurance-wise. Deep down, I think he enjoyed this “lowly pissant Banana” giving Brittania the business.

Stacie