Remember last week when I was duped into thinking I’d been sent that Air Supply bootleg by a guy named “R. Murdoch”? It never crossed my mind that “R.” might be short for Rupert, as in Rupert freakin’ Murdoch, the megazillionaire media mogul from down under who owns the New York Post, the Wall Street Journal, 20th Century Fox, Fox News, the Fox network, and three-quarters of the world’s fox population, be they animal or female.
Rich guys like Mr. Murdoch don’t miss a beat: last weekend, as he was waiting for his credit-card purchase of Transformers star Megan Fox to go through on the ol’ laptop, he decided to google his name for fun, when up popped the insinuation that he’s a fan of Australian soft rockers Air Supply. “I’d rather have me wedding tackle chopped off than listen to those two drongos!” he said in an e-mail I received on Saturday afternoon.
Turns out he’s an Olivia Newton-John fan, but unfortunately I don’t have any bootlegs by the star of Two of a Kind. (I know, I know, nobody remembers the Travolta-and-ONJ movie that isn’t Grease, but Two of a Kind is a 20th Century Fox product, so I’m being forced to mention it.) However, Mr. Murdoch did threaten to cut out my heart with a dull spoon, which made me remember that I have a terrific bootleg by one of the best bands working today. That would be Spoon, performing in Tallahassee, Florida, at a club called the Moon. In June? Sadly, no — this particular concert took place on November 8, 2007. But it’s well worth a listen.
The Delicate Place
Don’t You Evah
You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb
Stay Don’t Go
The Beast and Dragon, Adored
Rhthm & Soul
Metal Detektor
The Way We Get By
The Ghost of You Lingers
Everything Hits at Once
Don’t Make Me a Target
It’s Gonna Take an Airplane
Two Sides/Monsieur Valentine
They Never Got You
I Summon You
I Turn My Camera On
My Mathematical Mind
Black Like Me
My Little Japanese Cigarette Case
The Underdog
The Fitted Shirt
When I mentioned to Mr. Murdoch that he was cribbing from Alan Rickman in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with that line about a dull spoon, he became irate. Not only did he assume I was calling him unoriginal, but the 1991 Kevin Costner movie was a Warner Bros. release that ended up killing off Fox’s own planned Robin Hood movie, to be directed by Die Hard’s John McTiernan.
“But you didn’t even own Fox back then, sir.” I thought that would calm him down, but it didn’t. Neither did my offer to help him track down the estimated four million people who’ve downloaded X-Men Origins: Wolverine, starring fellow Australian Hugh Jackman, since it was leaked online in March, more than a month before its debut in theaters. It’s currently being sliced and diced at the box office by the new Star Trek movie, which has gotten better reviews from critics and better word-of-mouth from moviegoers. (Don’t worry about Jackman’s career: “Along with all those newspapers and networks and foxes, I also own Hugh,” Mr. Murdoch told me. “Why else do you think his last three movies were made by Fox? He’s mine for life!”) Make no mistake — if Mr. Murdoch finds you with a downloaded copy of Wolverine, your wedding tackle is a goner.
Tags: 20th century fox, Air Supply, Alan Rickman, Hugh Jackman, Megan Fox, Olivia Newton-John, Robin Hood, Rupert Murdoch, spoon, Tallahassee, wolverine
