Bootleg City: Yes in Edmonton, September ’84

Wow! People are really fired up about this Tuesday’s election in Bootleg City! As mayor, it warms my heart to see such civic pride and faith in democracy. Don’t forget to vote, everyone. Remember, we’re all in this together.

Everyone except the mayoral candidates whose asses I’m totally going to kick on November 3, that is. On that note, here’s my final attack ad of the campaign season:

Last summer Matt Wardlaw was quoted as saying, “Taco Bell and I have a relationship that dates back to an infamous church youth group trip in the late ’80s.”

So what else is Matt Wardlaw not telling us that he already did tell us but not without it being taken out of context?

For starters, just last week Mr. Wardlaw told Mayor Robert Cass, “Not if you were the last immigrant grocer on Earth!” But why does Mr. Wardlaw hate immigrant grocers? And does he plan to molest them the way he molested 14 innocent Mexican-American tacos in 20 minutes back when Republicans were still in the White House?

On November 3, don’t vote for a molester of tacos or any other foods made by hardworking, minimum wage-earning, American Dream-having immigrants. Vote for Robert Cass. Vote for him for Mayor.

Paid for by the Committee to Re-elect a Mayor Who Isn’t Addicted to Vinyl or Any Other Mind-Altering Substance.

Start packing up your campaign headquarters, Mr. Wardlaw, Mr. Marley, and Mr. Byrne. Just like my last four years in office, this one’s gonna be a no-brainer. (I should probably use my prize money to hire a new speechwriter. Come to think of it, why does my current speechwriter keep mentioning prize money in my speeches? Was I supposed to get a check back in 2005 when I won the first time? Ed McMahon’s dead, so now what? Of all the luck …)

Remember, vote for your mayor on Tuesday. Vote “Yes!”

And speaking of Yes, this week’s bootleg is an audio rip of the prog-rock band’s 9012Live concert film (1985), directed by Steven Soderbergh four years before he made his first feature film, Sex, Lies, and Videotape. And speaking of sex, lies, and videotape, I’ve heard there’s a spicy Mexican combination plate featuring all three in Matt Wardlaw’s sordid past, but why don’t you ask him yourself, voters — I’m not one to spread gossip.

Once again, vote “Yes!” on Tuesday. But not for Wardlaw. Even though he’s the one giving you Yes. Vote “No!” for the Yes guy. (Please, try to keep up.)

The footage on 9012Live was recorded September 28-29, 1984, at Northlands Coliseum in Edmonton, Canada. I’m pretty fond of “City of Love” myself, because that’s how I like to think of Bootleg City. Of course, there’s not enough love for everybody here, which is why Matt, Bob, and David will be owners of lonely hearts come Tuesday.

Cinema
Leave It
Hold On
I’ve Seen All Good People
Changes
Owner of a Lonely Heart
It Can Happen
City of Love
Starship Trooper [Pt. 1]
Starship Trooper [Pt. 2]
[end credits]




  • kingofgrief

    Mr. Mayor:

    If you'd like a rip (from vinyl) of the full remix of “Leave It” used for the end credits here, please let me know. Consider it a campaign contribution. (I'll need a receipt for April, naturally.)

  • http://mulberrypanda96.blogspot.com rwcass

    Why, YES, I would love a copy of that remix, Your Highness. You know, it's royal voters like you who make this city what it is, but you can help me make it even more than it is by including a cash bribe with that remix. Send both to robert, and please make sure the $100 bills are stacked neatly and in sequential order inside the Zip file. Thanks!

  • ozarkmatt

    I have always thought Würm was the best concert-closing piece of music out there. The repeating guitar chords, slowing building, building to the guitar solo climax. If you have ever seen these guys live, the only way you would not be fully amped up at the end of the show is if you were dead.

  • Matt

    Cass,

    All I can say is that I am looking forward to easily defeating you in the pending election. Hope you have some post-Mayor employment lined up. You're going to need it.

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  • http://mulberrypanda96.blogspot.com rwcass

    I do have some post-Mayor work lined up. It's called Mayor Part DEUX! Fo' mo' yuh! Fo' mo' yuh! (That was of course an affectionate homage to my former kung fu instructor and policy adviser, Fo Mo Yuh.)

  • Matt

    Cass,

    You're so ridiculous that I can't even comment. What I can do however, is depart from this discussion to go check on the catering for the victory celebration. My loyal supporters are throwing a little bash in my honor, after the election results come in tomorrow night.

    You're invited of course. I'd hate for you to be alone during your moment of defeat.

  • http://mulberrypanda96.blogspot.com rwcass

    You “can't even comment”? You just did. People of Bootleg City, do you really want a mayor who says one thing and does another? Or does one thing and says something rude about my mother? (He hasn't yet, but I'm sure he will.)

    Still, I like you, Mr. Wardlaw. You're a lively candidate, which is more than I can say for Bob Marley in this election.

  • Matt

    Hey Cass,

    YOUR MAMA!

    Take that, you lame duck Commie!

  • http://mulberrypanda96.blogspot.com rwcass

    You “can't even comment”? You just did. People of Bootleg City, do you really want a mayor who says one thing and does another? Or does one thing and says something rude about my mother? (He hasn't yet, but I'm sure he will.)

    Still, I like you, Mr. Wardlaw. You're a lively candidate, which is more than I can say for Bob Marley in this election.

  • Matt

    Hey Cass,

    YOUR MAMA!

    Take that, you lame duck Commie!

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