Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 13

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This past week I was like a pig in shit. Nine tracks from Chinese Democracy were leaked and I couldn’t be happier. See, Guns n’ Roses are my Led Zeppelin. They’re my Black Sabbath. Appetite for Destruction came out in 1987 when I was 11 and they were pretty much the first hard rock band I had ever really come in contact with. I’m not sure what music my dad liked. I mean, he gave me money to buy records, but I don’t really ever remember him buying anything for himself, so maybe he just liked me enjoying it. I know my mom liked The Moody Blues and Queen, so Queen was probably my first exposure to rock music — but GNR was the first hard rock that I can remember. Thinking about it right now, it was probably pretty cool of my mom to let a preteen listen to Appetite.

I’ve mentioned before how I don’t remember actually listening to much in the ‘80s. But there are two things I remember vividly. The first is coming home from school one afternoon and every hour on the hour huddling around the TV with my friends to watch the MTV premiere of the video for “Paradise City.” And the other was sitting on the back of the school bus and trying to convince all the kids that I had one of the “original” copies of Appetite for Destruction because “Paradise City” was much louder after the whistle on my version.

So last week was a good week for me. For years I’ve been hearing everyone in the world say they won’t go anywhere near Chinese Democracy if and when it’s ever released. Then nine tracks appear for a fleeting second and people are leaving comments everywhere how great the songs are. And really, they are great. I expected them to be good, I mean after so many years how could they not be at least pretty good, but I can’t say I thought they’d be this damn fine. I listened to the new Motley Crue record the same day last week and it’s a laughable comparison. Axl clearly sounds like a man who knows how to write a song and who clearly knows what he’s doing by leaking these tracks out there while Motley sound like cheesy old men. And I like the Crue too. I thought for a fleeting second about Gunsrolling (or Roserolling, maybe) you this week and having “The Blues” play instead of a Cameo tune, but that of course would mean I have the songs. And I don’t, Mr. FBI Agent. I swear.

Anyway, before we get to the songs each week, I’m going to start listing the albums that I just acquired and listened to for the first time as part of my ‘80s collection. I listen to every piece of music I get for it, and people have been telling me over the weeks that it would be neat to see the stuff I’m adding to the collection. See, I listen now and again. (In addition, the “Quick Hits” at the end of this post list what I think are the best and worst tracks of this week, in case you don’t have time to listen to them all.)

NEW MUSIC FOR THE COLLECTION:
Glamour Camp, Glamour Camp
Age of Chance, Crush Collision
Julie Brown, Goddess in Progress
The Jon Butcher Axis, Stare at the Sun
El DeBarge, Gemini

We now move on in my trek to talk about every song that hit from #41-100 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart in the ‘80s with the letter “C.” The comment was made last week that the “B” had sucked lately, but I think “C” is going to start out pretty well.

John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band/Eddie and the Cruisers
“On the Dark Side” 1983, #64 (download)
“Tender Years” — 1984, #78 (download)
“Small Town Girl” — 1985, #64 (download)
“Heart’s on Fire” — 1986, #76 (download)
“Voice of America’s Sons” — 1986, #62 (download)
“Pride & Passion” — 1989, #66 (download)

John Cafferty did have 4 songs hit the Hot 100, so he had a decent career, but with a sound so similar to The Boss, I would have expected more. Was it a case of identity crisis? One minute they are fictional band Eddie and the Cruisers, the next they’re the Beaver Brown Band, and then in 1989 they’re Eddie and the Cruisers again. “On the Dark Side”and “Tender Years”were both rereleased at the end of 1984 after failing to crack the top 40 first time around and became a #7 and #31 hit respectively. “Hearts on Fire” was from Rocky IV, “Voice of America’s Sons” was used in another Sly Stallone film, Cobra, and “Pride & Passion” was from Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! “Small Town Girl” is the only one of these six tracks that wasn’t from a movie, having been released only on Cafferty’s album Tough All Over.

Bobby Caldwell
“Coming Down From Love” — 1980, #42 (download)
“All of My Love” — 1982, #77 (download)

Bobby had most of his success in 1978 with his song “What You Won’t Do for Love.” He never was able to reproduce that success with his four ‘80s releases, but became huge in Japan. After his 1984 album August Moon, he decided to focus on writing songs instead, such as the hit “The Next Time I Fall” for Amy Grant and Peter Cetera.

The California Raisins
“I Heard It Through the Grapevine” — 1988, #84 (download)

The voice of the California Raisins was actually Buddy Miles, drummer for Jimi Hendrix’s Band of Gypsys. Miles passed away on February 26th this year. I’m surprised this only made it to #84 as I remember the California Raisins being everywhere at the end of ‘80s and this is a pretty straightforward cover of one of the best songs ever made.

The Call
“The Walls Came Down” — 1983, #74 (download)
“Let the Day Begin” — 1989, #51 (download)

The Call is one of the most underrated bands of the decade. They put out six albums in the ‘80s beginning with their self-titled release in 1982. Their sound started out pretty raw, but got more polished as the decade went along. “The Walls Came Down” was off their second release, Modern Romans, which had strong political overtones. “Let the Day Begin” was the title track from their excellent 1989 album which was a much bigger hit on the rock charts.

Cameo
“She’s Strange” — 1984, #47 (download)
“Back and Forth” — 1987, #50 (download)
“You Make Me Work” — 1988, #85 (download)

Cameo is a crazy band for me. Funk in the ‘80s is one of my favorite things to listen to, and I actually own every Cameo album even though most of them just aren’t very good.

Without looking at the charts I would’ve thought Cameo had a massive string of hits, but that’s not the case, as “She’s Strange” was the first of five tracks to hit the Hot 100, with only “Word Up!” and “Candy” hitting the top 20 in 1986. Everyone knows them for “Word Up!” of course, but even their album by the same name wasn’t very good. If you really want to hear Cameo at their best, 1981’s Knights of the Sound Table and 1980’s Cameosis are blazing funk records. Once you hit ’84 or ’85, as Cameo pared down their lineup, you get weak rhythms and really cheesy ballads. “You Make Me Work” is another one of those little pet peeves of mine. It’s basically just a reworking of “Word Up!” Same rhythm, same horns, same style. I know it’s your biggest hit, but there’s no need to make it again. This seemed to be a bit of a trend in the late ‘80s as one of my favorites, the Gap Band, was a culprit as well.

Camouflage
“The Great Commandment” — 1988, #59 (download)

I’m sure there is some little nuance about this that makes them completely different from Depeche Mode, but I can’t hear it at all. I don’t ever recall hearing this when it was released, only when I first got it for my collection and I thought it was Dave Gahan and the gang.

Glen Campbell
“Somethin’ ‘Bout You Baby I Like” — 1980, #42 (download)
“I Don’t Want to Know Your Name” — 1981, #65 (download)
“I Love My Truck” — 1981, #94 (download)

It was about 1978 when Glen Campbell lost his steam on the Hot 100. These were his only three Hot 100 hits in the ‘80s despite all of them being extremely solid songs including his excellent duet with Rita Coolidge, “Somethin’ ‘Bout You Baby I Like”. He still had a string of songs on the country charts of course, but even that didn’t treat him nicely from ’79-’84. Still, it’s hard to argue with 45 million records sold and a spot in the Country Music Hall of Fame.

Candi
“Dancing Under a Latin Moon” — 1988, #68 (download)

To this day, this remains one of my favorite freestyle songs of the decade. It just sounds a little more sophisticated that most from that genre. After this, they went back to their original name of Candi & the Backbeat, released on more album in 1990 and then disbanded.

Freddy Cannon & the Belmonts
“Let’s Put the Fun Back in Rock ‘n Roll” — 1981, #81 (download)

Here’s a classic example of a song that just doesn’t belong in the ‘80s. The Belmonts have made music since the late ‘50s and this track still sounds like it belongs in 1963. I’m no fan of music before the ‘80s, so maybe I’m biased but I like stuff that sounds like it was recorded in this decade.

QUICK HITS:
Best song — The Call, “Let the Day Begin”
Worst song — Cameo, “You Make Me Work”

Hope you enjoyed your 20 tracks this week. Next week I’ll do it to you one more time with a new batch of Bottom Feeders.

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  • I had forgotten how horrid "I Love My Truck" is. I am sure I hadn't heard it since my radio station stopped playing it in 1981, much to the delight of the DJs, who had been forced to play it far more often than we liked because the audience kept calling up wanting to hear it.

    And people still wonder why radio stations don't take requests.
  • outsidecounsel
    "Eddie and the Cruisers", John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band, and Ellen Barkin all have this in common-- you wish that each was just a little bit better. John Cafferty could have been John Mellencamp. Mellencamp had the sense to drop the ridiculous "John Cougar" moniker. If Cafferty had had someone to tell him that "The Beaver Brown Band" was a stupid name, maybe he could have become more than just a Springsteen manqué too.

    "Eddie and the Cruisers" might have been perfectly awful, and a lot of it is, but some of it is pretty good. It helps, somewhat, that the music the Cruisers play, back in 1963, sounds quite a bit like the music Bruce Springsteen was playing around 1983, when the movie was released. That was part of the film's gimmick, actually. It is a funny sort of thing to think about, in a way. When Jon Landau wrote "I saw rock and roll future and its name is Bruce Springsteen," back in '74 he couldn't have been more wrong, but don't tell that to "Eddie and the Cruisers". The fact is that Bruce was never the future of anything, and has always really been at his best, both lyrically and musically, when he works with nostalgia. Springsteen was an agglomeration of influences that emerged at a time when the R&B roots of rock had gone missing. The effect was a tonic to anyone who had grown exhausted trying to find rock with some lilt and some swing, but really it was nothing new, and really he was working a mine that was mostly played out. Sure, there were still nuggets to be picked up there, but consider the question of Springsteen's influence. Who followed? Thin Lizzy. Melissa Etheridge. Meatloaf. John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band. In a funny way, what "Eddie and the Cruisers" really establishes is that Springsteen was, far from the future of rock'n'roll, actually rock'n'roll circa 1964. That's certainly not a bad thing to be.

    And Ellen Barkin. Maybe the biggest failing of "Eddie and the Cruisers" is that she doesn't show any leg, but let's move past that and consider her career. She's worked steady, and she is always good, but it is rare indeed for her to appear in a movie that is worthy of her talents. "This Boy's Life" and "Diner" are just about the only truly times we've seen all that she can do. I love "The Big Easy" but it falls apart and ends like a made for TV movie. "Buckaroo Banzai" is painfully bad. And really, after that she is just under-used.
  • JonCummings
    Huh?

    As I recall it, every American band that came down the pike with crunchy guitar chords and "the truth" was considered a follower of Springsteen from the mid-'70s through the '80s. Mellencamp himself was widely considered a Springsteen wannabe until Lisa Germano brought a fiddle into his life on "Scarecrow." Even today, bands like the Hold Steady are thought to be massively influenced by him.

    Cafferty was perhaps just the most blatant soundalike. The fortunes of those soundtrack songs mirrored the movie's own fortunes. The film flopped in the theaters, and the few spins that "On the Dark Side" received at the time got a dismissive, jokey response. But then, nine months or so later, the movie debuted on HBO and got enormous ratings--and the soundtrack leaped up the charts. It was considered a very big deal at the time--the first time that pay-cable exposure had launched a soundtrack or a batch of chart hits. Hollywood thought such second-chance hits would become a big trend. They were wrong.
  • John Cafferty the most blatant Springsteen soundalike? John Eddie takes umbrage -- extreme umbrage! -- at that statement, sir.
  • John Cafferty, John Eddie, John Edwards. All the same but only one knows where you lost your keys.


    Oooooooo, spooky.
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  • I'll second your pick for best song, I've always liked that one.
  • You're right that there is no real difference between Depeche Mode and "The Great Commandment," but I love that song anyway. And that Candi song is the most freestyle-less freestyle song I've ever heard. Very 1988, though.

    I'm surprised that nothing from the Call's Reconciled album charted. No "I Still Believe"? No "Everywhere I Go"? Those songs were awesome.
  • No, those were the only 2 Hot 100 songs from The Call - both the songs you mentioned were on the rock charts - but they didn't even do that great there - as "I Still Believe" only barely cracked the Top 20 I think.
  • Elaine
    "The Walls Came Down" vocal makes Michael sounds like a little like David Byrne's older brother.
  • thefxc
    Yes! Great list!

    "Great Commandment", yes, very Mode-y, but they developed from there, doing synthpop with a bit more...pop. They're still around and worth hearing.

    The John Cafferty list makes me wonder: who had the MOST bottom-feeding songs in the 80s? Are you saving that for the end of the list? I was a bit surprised here--I knew "On the Dark Side" made Top 10 when reissued, but I would have bet a million bucks that "Voice of America's Sons" and "Hearts on Fire" made Top 40. And I thought "C.I.T.Y." missed Top 40, but I guess it made it? I guess that was the year I lived in LandBackwardsCrazy.

    Never knew Candi=Candi and the Backbeat--I may be the only one in the world who cares, but I have a cool Candi/Backbeat song from an old IRS comp, now I know a bit more about them...

    Thanks again! I always look forward to this column...
  • C.I.T.Y. peaked at #18.
    Just last night, TBS aired the Family Guy episode where Brian trains like he's Rocky and "Heart's On Fire" plays as the montage. It's used so much now that it's been burned in my head - and yours I suppose too.

    As for who had the most - nope, just going alphabetical and honestly, I don't know myself - though I think I might check in a minute. Right now it stands at 8 Bottom Feeders with Bananarama, though I'll tell you that next week I have another artist with 8. That's the most we've seen so far.
  • Whoops, actually it's a couple weeks down the road for the 8 - but I swear it's coming!
  • I've been doing some checking on that very subject, and the highest I've gotten so far is also eight: Both Queen and Kenny Rogers had that many among the "big" acts of that era. That might be where it tops out, but I'll keep checking, now that my curiosity is sparked.
  • No spoilers now here sir!!! :)

    I looked and I can tell you it does not top out there. There are three artists with 9 and one with 10. But I'm not revealing who!
  • JohnHughes
    While "You Make Me Work" is horrid, yes, "She's Strange" continues to be the jam, two decades after it took over my high school my sophomore year.
  • scrumble
    Good call on Candi, she was actually the future of rock 'n' roll according to Miles Copeland of I.R.S. Records, who was smarting from the loss of R.E.M.

    A girl who looked like her would also never last three seconds in the age of bitchy gossip blogs.

    "Under Your Spell" was a good follow-up single, although they fumbled on the second album. The "& the Backbeat" thing kinda killed it, not to mention a Madonna knock-off sound that was five years out of date by then.
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=XUC3hvTXdr0
  • Matt
    AFI spinoff Blaqk Audio had a semi-hit last year with a song called "Stiff Kittens" that was basically a straight lift of "The Great Commandment". And how was "Let the Day Begin" never co-opted by Budweiser?
  • the masked collector
    Say, you just left the "B"'s - why no Billy & the Beaters?

    Or are you saving them for the "V"'s?

    "At This Moment" was #1 for Billy VERA & the Beaters in '87, but I think charted lower for "Billy & the Beaters" in '81. Same recording, same band, slightly different name.
  • Yeah, I have him lumped under "V" for Vera in my list, so we're going to save him/them for that - though you're right, he probably deserved to be the B's since what you said above is spot on.
  • the masked collector
    "Freddy Cannon & the Belmonts
    “Let’s Put the Fun Back in Rock ‘n Roll”
    Here’s a classic example of a song that just doesn’t belong in the ‘80s. The Belmonts have made music since the late ‘50s and this track still sounds like it belongs in 1963. "

    I think that was the POINT, actually
  • the masked collector
    Come to think of it, this Freddy Cannon/Belmonts record doesn't sound all that different from John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band, who had a definite retro sound...what goes around comes around & all that.
  • Wait - there was an "Eddie and the Cruisers II"? That title sounds like a Nightmare on Elm Street Sequel. I'd much prefer "Eddie and the Cruisers II - Electric Boogaloo."
  • Elaine
    I'm currently giving those Glen Campbell tracks a listen. Wow, is that Truck song a POS. Thing is, I'm sort of surprised some country beta male with a huge hat that shades all ability to see his eyes hasn't remade it by now. On the other hand, Glen sure was in fine voice in the late 70's. With the second one, though, was he trying to resurrect the Bakersfield sound or something? He sounds like he was trying to be Buck Owens.
  • Ray
    I remember The Great Commandment getting quite a bit of airplay on MTV in early 1989 (mostly on 120 Minutes and Post Modern); still have the CD somewhere.
  • "Coming Down From Love" is terrifically smooth '80s pop-soul. I thought the opening piano part sounded familiar -- Murs and 9th Wonder sampled it for their song "Barbershop" in '06.
  • Ken
    Still, it’s hard to argue with 45 million records sold and a spot in the Country Music Hall of Fame.(Glen Campbell)

    And now the fact that his new Record "Meet Glen Campbell" kicks ass,..I love this record.
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