Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 78

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It’s the second week of artists whose names begin with the letter S, as we continue to look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the 1980s.

john-schneiderJohn Schneider
“Still” — 1981, #69 (download)
“Dreamin’” — 1982, #45 (download)
“In the Driver’s Seat” — 1982, #72 (download)

Well, you probably know how much I’d really like to rip into Bo Duke, but for the most part I can’t. However, this man’s man from Hazzard County came right out of the musical gate pretty limp. If he wanted to do country music, that’s fine. A song like “In the Driver’s Seat” is actually kind of good. But “Still” is terrible, terrible adult contemporary crap. But, his music career was certainly targeted towards women who thought he was dreamy so I guess I understand why he went to the softer gentler side. If nothing else, most of his music was better than the self-titled debut from Luke Duke (Tom Wopat, 1982).

Eddie Schwartz
“Over the Line” — 1982, #91 (download)

Eddie Schwartz released three albums in the 80s and a half-dozen or so singles with minimal success. He had more success writing for others as he wrote or co-wrote Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with Your Best Shot’ as well as the Doobie Brothers’ “The Doctor” and Paul Carrack’s “Don’t Shed a Tear.” All three are much better than “Over the Line.”

Scorpions
“No One Like You” — 1982, #65 (download)
“Still Loving You” — 1984, #64 (download)
“Rhythm of Love” — 1988, #75 (download)

ScorpionsCover00 Scorpions were once a pretty bad ass group. The band’s albums these days are hit and miss between pretty rockin’ and “yeah great, Grandpa,” but in the ’70s and ’80s Klaus Meine and company could hold their own with the best of them. Both their 1982 release Blackout and ’84s Love at First Sting are great balls to the wall records of course led by “Rock You Like a Hurricane.” Even “Rhythm of Love” is a kick-ass tune off their less edgy Savage Amusement album.

Of course what makes the Scorpions great are their albums covers with some form of a boob exposed (ten-year-old girl not counting here) or some kind of sexual reference. But that stopped with the Crazy World album in 1990 and so did their string of making really good records.

Scritti Politti
“Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)” — 1986, #91 (download)
“Boom! There She Was” — 1988, #53 (download)

Green Gart Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant group led by Green Gartside, who wrote really great, clever lyrics and some of the most pure pop melodies of the decade. Cupid and Psyche ‘85 is a must own for any ’80s fan and checks in at #49 on my Top 80 Albums of the ’80s list. Their biggest hit, “Perfect Way,” is a flawless pop song and ranks as the 13th best song of the decade, according to me. “Wood Beez” is from that album and “Boom! There She Was” was on the excellent follow-up, Provision, and featured Roger Troutman. Unfortunately, Scritti Politti never really had a chance to be huge as Gartside has a severe case of stage fright and anxiety and thus never really toured. Total shame, as even when he started releasing music again with 1999’s Anomie and Bonhomie, it was awesome as expected.

Dan Seals
“Late at Night” — 1980, #57 (download)
“Bop” — 1986, #42 (download)

“I wanna bop with you baby / All night long / I wanna be-bop with you baby / ‘Til the break of dawn.” God, I’m going to have this in my head for weeks, which is what always happens when I hear England Dan’s “Bop.” There’s something about the song that just gets me dancin’. Thankfully, I usually only hear it in the confines of my own home as no ladies would be boppin’ with me after watching me grooving to this.

Secret Ties
“Dancing in My Sleep” — 1986, #91 (download)

If we were voting on songs that sounded the least like they belonged in the year they were released, this one would be right at the top. There’s quite a few copies of the 12″ floating around out there now but I remember this being tough to find a few years ago while I was looking for it. I had to double check my charts three times to be sure it said 1986 on this. This screams way out of touch like nothing else, as I surely would have expected this to be around ‘80 or ‘81, popular with a group like Lipps, Inc.

Bob-Seger-pictures-1977-LS-4081-006-lBob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
“Horizontal Bop” — 1980, #42 (download)
“Feel Like a Number” — 1981, #48 (download)
“Old Time Rock and Roll” — 1983, #48 (download)
“It’s You” — 1986, #52 (download)
“Miami” — 1986, #70 (download)

I hate Bob Seger. Or I think I hate Bob Seger. I’m not really sure. Maybe I just hate the radio hits because I absolutely turn the channel every time he comes on the radio. But the songs that aren’t on the radio I’m at least partially okay with. I mean, I’m not at all into sappy crap like “It’s You” or “Miami” but songs like “You’ll Accomp’ny Me” or “Shakedown” I’ll listen to. Even “Horizontal Bop” isn’t terrible.

“Old Time Rock and Roll” (one of those that I refuse to listen to any longer) shows up here because it was rereleased after being featured in Risky Business. But even the original release in 1979 only went to #28.

A while back our leader wrote about the rock ‘n’ roll unemployment line, and strangely enough, two of the three people he interviewed worked for Bob Seger at some point.

Taja Sevelle
“Love Is Contagious” — 1987, #62 (download)

Taja Jill Jones, the Family, Mazarati, Good Question, Tony LeMans, Tamar, Taja Sevelle; all artists that Prince took under his wing and killed any chance of a career that they might have had. It’s really a shame how good Prince is as an artist, but so poor in artist development. Yet for some reason, even today we still get singers like Bria Valente buying into it and signing with him to release music. Not all of his artists were bad, just given the wrong music and promoted poorly. Taja Sevelle is somewhere in the middle. Her CD, Love Is Contagious, was a very average pop-R&B mix and the single you hear above has a definite Prince influence to it. I just don’t think Prince realized that most artists don’t have the ability to pull off what he does and never really presented the best tracks to the majority of his artists. In order to really be a hit, you had to have a ton of talent coming into the partnership (Sheila E., Tevin Campbell, Morris Day and the motherfuckin’ Time!).

Sevelle’s website claims she’s written songs with the likes of Burt Bacharach, Nile Rodgers (who hasn’t?), and some hip-hop writers. It also claims rave reviews for her 1998 album Toys of Vanity (hey, wasn’t Vanity another Prince girl?). However it doesn’t say what songs and doesn’t give quotes from any of those rave reviews, which screams out B.S.

707
“I Could Be Good for You” — 1980, #52 (download)
“Mega Force” — 1982, #62 (download)

I could be way off base, but naming your band just a number is stupid. It’s not like these artists had to worry about internet searches back then, but we’ve even debated in this column before if something like this should come under S for “SevenOhSeven” or before the letters, so stores could put this album in many places. I know I’m thinking way too far into this, but it just seems confusing and unmemorable to me. 707 is certainly closer to being okay than other groups like 3 and 9.9 but still silly. Musically they were just okay. “I Could Be Good For You” is really nothing special but the switch to more of an arena rock sound for “Mega Force” turned out solid.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Scritti Politti, “Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)”
Worst song: John Schneider, “Still”

TOP 40 ONLY
Neil Sedaka (1), Seduction (2), Michael Sembello (2)

Next week I make your day with one of the all-time worst attempts at fitting in.

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  • Wow, I didn't think that anyone would top me in terms of praising Scritti Politti with unabashed hyperbole. You sure showed me. I have to admit, though, I didn't like White Bread, Black Beer as much as most people did. It doesn't feel finished to me.

    That Secret Ties song is hilarious. "We need more electronic handclap!"

    "Bop" made it all the way to #42? Wow.
  • Don Karnage
    I was regaled with a story once about the band 707. It was claimed that the band members secured a record contract by getting some Casablanca reps so buzzed on cocaine that they didn't know what they were doing, and that a couple days later, nobody at Casablanca remembered being the one to sign them. Two major hurdles in the way of this being factual. One - I've never seen any reference to this story online, not even as rumor. And two - from all accounts, cocaine use was so rampant at Casablanca Records that the street value needed to get employees there that buzzed would probably exceed what the band would make under the terms of the contract....

    I'm resigned to not "getting" Scritti Politti. I don't dislike them at all, and I do really like "Perfect Way", "The Sweetest Girl", "wood beez" and others. But that's about it. I don't see or feel the "genius" tag. It's like seeing the teachers praise the straight-B student. That's fine - this isn't the first band I don't "get", and it certainly won't be the last...

    Oh, but I do own Taja Sevelle's Toys of Vanity CD. And it's great, especially the oddball single "I and I". There - that's one rave review. :)
  • Even if that isn't true about 707 - that's a heck of a good story. And now there is reference to this story on-line. Congrats for starting the 707 rumor mill back up!
  • Matt
    Agreed. Fantastic. And when Kevin Chalfant joined the band, did he teach them to "just say no?"
  • Oh, yes, I also own Taja Sevelle's Toys of Vanity CD. I can confirm it's very good, and that to this day I cannot take "I and I" off my head. I knew nothing about her when I received the promo CD of her album, and if I was reviewing records then, I would have also raved about it.
  • Jeff
    As much as I love 'Perfect Way', I have to confess to not hearing much, if anything, else by Scritti Politti until very recently. Now I'll have to go and track down Cupid & Psyche '85 on CD and give it a serious listen. I've always admired Green's voice.

    And I feel exactly the same way about Bob Seger that you do, but unfortunately I live in Michigan so I think that I am required by law to not openly admit that. . .
  • I suppose I have to step up to the plate as an adopted resident of Ann Arbor, where Seger grew up and ran cross country for Ann Arbor (now Pioneer) High School, which is also the alma mater of Iggy Pop, documentarian Ken Burns, 1975 NFL Comeback Player of the Year Dave Hampton, four-time Olympic silver medalist Kara Lynn Joyce and former Skylab astronaut Jack Lousma.

    I am not a huge fan of Seger, But I respect him and see his appeal. I think he was the transition between Mitch Ryder and John Mellencamp – playing the kind of blue-collar rock and roll that doesn't get a lot of respect, but is absolutely essential for the genre to stay true to its roots.

    I also think he has displayed a knack for some great storytelling in his songs. Remember that his breakthrough album "Night Moves" also included the wonderfully evocative "Mainstreet." The song is autobiographical. It's about several bars that used to be on Ann Street in downtown Ann Arbor, where Seger used to play during his early days.

    Onto other the other BFTAEOTE highlight for me: I have old mix tapes filled with songs that Prince produced (remember Jill Jones and "G-Spot"?). I pulled them out a few years ago and started playing them. The song "Love is Contagious" immediately stood out for me, but I could never identify who performed it. Thank you, Steed, for filling a crack in my musical knowledge.
  • I really think Kid Rock has destroyed Blue-Collar rock for me.

    You've opened the door wide open for crack filling comments now - wonderful. :)

    As a Prince fanatic I definitely remember Jill Jones and "G-Spot". I haven't picked that album up in ages though.
  • Russ
    Everything Seger released after Night Moves was a massive drop in quality. Stranger in Town sounded like a Capitol Records rush job, and then the label sort of shoved him into the Urban Cowboy mold. For as many years as Seger released good albums no one listened to, I can't blame him for just grabbing the money. But nothing after Night Moves is worth buying, maybe a few tracks here and there. Which of course brings up Seger's complete absence from iTunes and other download services.
  • um... I like the Scorpions?


    yeah, i got nothin...

    Simple Minds next week maybe?
  • That shouldn't be a question - it should be a bold statement - "I LOVE the Scorpions!" No?

    You would be jumping way ahead of yourself with Simple Minds as they wouldn't show up for another 3 weeks - but they won't be here at all - all Top 40.
  • well yeah, it's a statement. It was phrased that was simply as an "I'm sorry, this is really all I have to offer this week" sort of apology, haha.

    And if we're three weeks off from Simple Minds' non-appearance, I dread to think of what the next two weeks hold in store...I just scrolled down my itunes list from where we are this week to where Simple Minds would be, and....yeah, nothing good. Uh oh...
  • The post two weeks from now is going to be filled with obscure things I believe.
  • Tom Wopat has gone on to a respectable career in theater, including a Tony nomination for ANNIE GET YOUR GUN opposite Bernadette Peters. His next Broadway venture is a musical of CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.
  • JonCummings
    Did anybody else notice that John Schneider did a guest spot on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" last week? (He was Elisabeth Shue's husband, who wanted to do a three-way with Cheryl.)
  • After his fatherly turn as Pa Kent on SMALLVILLE for several seasons, Schneider landed a recurring role on NIP/TUCK as a porn producer, "Ram Peters" (!). Bo's a ho.
  • JerryM
    Is Mega Force the theme to the horrible movie of the same name?
  • Yes sir, it was. And it was also on the Ace Frehley's - Frehley's Comet album with a differnet title (which I can't think of off hand)
  • David_E
    Omylord, you're right. I never made the connection. It was repurposed as "Calling To You" on Frehley's Comet, with different lyrics. I'd like to say the changes were for the better, but it really just went from Jif to Skippy.
  • David_E
    And a little AllMusic homework shows that the track was originally written by Frehley's Comet rhythm guitarist Tod (or Ted, or Todd, depending on the year) Howarth, who played keys in 707 by that band's third album.

    He went on to record a couple solo hair-metal keyboard-heavy discs, including his debut, "Cobalt Parlor."

    (Can you think of a better worse title? What's the emoticon for doubled over laughing?)
  • kingofgrief
    My co-workers and I were discussing that Scorpions cover you allude to last week, a topic triggered by the not-quite-as-disturbing-yet-still-not-appropriate original cover art for the Blind Faith album. I'm not comfortable with either, though that Scorps album (with amended artwork) is cool. Or at least it was when I heard it in high school; closer to punk than metal to my teenage ears.

    About two years ago, I was shopping at one of Texas' most prominent supermarket chains when I heard "No One Like You" in their 80s-heavy overhead-music mix. This was the first time I'd ever heard a non-ballad metal tune in a grocery store. Now that's a paradigm shift.

    Both Scritti Politti albums referenced this week will wind up in the collection someday. I'll give the others a cursory audition at least.

    I'd hand "Bop" the Meltie this week, but that's only because it made the most-requested-countdown rounds on our big Top 40 outlet. Country songs in their rotation were not uncommon, but that volume of listener response was rare. (John Anderson's "Swingin'", itself a Bottom Feeder, is the only other example that springs to mind.)

    I'm surprised that "Dancin in My Sleep" even scratched the Hot 100. It sounds more like a demo than a finished product, and the vocals are too mannered. I may get used to it, but I doubt it'll even darken a Club Hour.

    Speaking of which, my 13th-anniversary show is coming up next week; there will be some choice Bottom Feeders in the mix. Requests are being taken!
  • And that's not a terribly bad MP3 of the Secret Ties track either - that's what it sounds like on disc too.
  • Once again, another of my faves appears here. I do indeed love the work of Taja Sevelle and have her three major label albums as well as her more recent singles, including a remake of Sympathy For The Devil - yes, I like it. But to be fair, Prince had little involvement with her work. She was just on his Paisley Park label and recorded one of his songs - Wouldn't You Love To Love Me. Love Is Contagious was all her own and definitely a unique song that was much bigger in the UK. After that their association ended. Her second album, Fountains Free, was pure pop, but Toys Of Vanity DID get many good reviews at the time for its trip hop sound - it just bombed with the public. But true, she has written with those people and continues to write, even releasing a book of her own. (And good luck getting the Jill Jones album - the CD goes for a mint, as do most of his protegees CDs, including my goddess Vanity. ;)

    Scritti Politti is indeed da bomb, so I'm glad to hear how much you adore them! And I was shocked to see John Schneider had one top 100 hit, never mind three! I'd forget he even tried to sing. And is it any surprise that I love the Secret Ties song? I have never heard it before! It reminds me of a lot of the hi NRG music of the time actually, even groups like Company B, so the year doesn't shock me, but the fact it made the chart does. Yet another reason to love this column! Thanks!
  • I downloaded the Jill Jones record, but I'd love to be able find a cheap CD of it. The CD I really want to find that has some association with Prince is his sister's - Tyka Nelson. That might be a good fit for your blog if you can locate it?

    Have you ever read Nikki Sixx's book to see Vanity just totally dismissing the '80s and her association with Prince and drugs like they never happened? If you haven't, don't - because your goddess sounds ridiculous in it.
  • I have yet to get my hands on that Nikki Sixx book, though I have read passages. I did read Motley Crew's The Dirt, where he totally dissed her. But being a holy roller now, that life to her is so far removed from where she is now. She has her own autobiography, Blame It On Vanity, but has only released it on her website, and the price doesn't justify what is sure to include too much preaching and denial for me. And I do indeed have both of Tyka's 80s albums (she also released a gospel album last year - talk about another one who found God, after becoming a prostitute in the 90s!) and intend on posting them on the blog some day - stay tuned!
  • If I can ever find a used copy of the book, I'd buy the vanity autobiography - though you're probably right on the content.
  • Green has got over his stage fright and pops up quite regularly here in London these days. I've seen him twice this year - the first as part of tribute night to the Incredible String Band (you 1980s types will have no idea who they are) with Richard Thompson and others, and the second as part of something called "Pestival" which was billed as an evening of insect-related music. He did "Wood Beez" (you know, bees) and an excellent cover of "Human Fly" by The Cramps. Copies can be heard at http://bibbly-o-tek.com/
  • I read that "Wood Beez" is the only song from the '80s he plays these days. "Perfect Way" doesn't make it anywhere near a Scritti Politti set...

    The closest I know is the Incredible Bongo Band.

    An evening of Insect related music? Man, anything can be a pestival these days.
  • Eric S.
    I've got to speak up in support of Eddie Schwartz. Yes, he had most of his success with other people covering his songs, but he was a good artist in his own right. "Over The Line" comes from his "No Refuge" album, which was a great pop record.

    He was one of those Canadian artists who never really got his due in the States. Although it apparently didn't make the charts, he did get some airplay with a song called "Special Girl". It was more of a ballad, and was covered by both America and Meatloaf. Yeah, the keyboards are 80's cheesy, but it's still a great melody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJWD6xl-x6I
  • JonCummings
    In case anybody missed it (unimaginable!), I discussed Eddie Schwartz and his biggest U.S. hit, "All Our Tomorrows," in April 2008: http://popdose.com/jesus-of-cool-jons-singles-f...
  • Albert Ross
    White Bread Black Beer is a desert island disc for me. And to see Scritti Politti live in NYC Nov 2006 was a dream come true.Green showed no stage fright and had an ace band playing pickings from the catalog.

    Scritti Politti's first album, Songs to Remember from 1982 is still fresh to my ears. That and the cd reissue of Green & Co's early indie stuff called 'Early' oddly enough shows a totally different sound, miles away from Wood Beez (which was produced by my former boss, the late Arif Mardin)
  • Ray
    Hmmmmm interesting week here. "I Could Be Good For You" by 707 got substantial AOR radio play in Chicago in 1980-81, and like many of the albums and songs from that genre it didn't stay in print very long and has been highly sought-after in the Chicago area over the years.

    Not much of a Seger fan... I will say though in the case of "Horizontal Bop", the b-side ("Her Strut") received (and continues to receive) much more airplay.

    Dan Seals gave me a "Mellow Gold" flashback ("he was known as England Dan because he liked to pretend he was British"!!!)... howdy Jason and Jeff... looking forward to more "Mellowmas"!!! : )
  • eddie_w
    Hi Dave...count me in on the Scritti Politti fan club. Love "Boom" - I haven't heard that one in years. I remember also really liking "Best Thing Ever", which I first heard on Madonna's "Who's that Girl" soundtrack album, of all places.

    FYI, I'm having trouble playing "Wood Beez" - it hangs a while, then times out. Not sure if anyone else is having this same problem, or if the web gremlins have specifically targeted me this time. :-)
  • I think you've been feeding those Gremlins after dark again, haven't you? I just streamed and downloaded Wood Beez and they worked fine.

    I don't know if I've ever heard "Boom" on the radio. Not even once.
  • eddie_w
    Thanks Dave...must be some weirdness with the network at the office. I'll try again when I get home and the gremlins are distracted.

    As for "Boom", it must have played on the radio enough where I was when it first came out (college in Houston) to make an impression on me. I hadn't heard it again until now, but when I just did, I managed to remember almost all of the lyrics from memory. I only wish the rest of my memory was so sharp!
  • kingofgrief
    Another 80s Houstonian! I never heard "Boom" live on the radio, but a friend of mine had a tape of a mix program from either 93Q or Energy 96.5 that featured it. So it did get some radio love in Houston, I just missed it.
  • Never heard "Boom" on the radio, but I did see MTV play the video...once.

    By the way, the Scritti songs have been download more than any other artist this week. Holler.
  • eddie_w
    Yes sir! I live in Austin now, but I was born and raised in the Houston area and went to college there, graduating in the early 90s. I think I tended to listen to KRBE in college, so that might have been where I had heard "Boom".

    You know, I had forgotten all about Energy 96.5...that one didn't last very long as I recall (I do know the current "Mix" 96.5 was born in the summer of 1990). They've sure come a long way from the days of 97Rock and Moby, haven't they?
  • Keith629
    I actually bought the cassette single of "Boom!" without having heard it yet, based on the fact that I liked "Cupid & Psyche". I don't recall Boom! on the radio at all either. It is the latest in a long line of bottom feeders so far which ascended to #1 on my personal chart. There was a follow-up single, "Oh Patti (Don't Feel Sorry for Loverboy)", which must not have reached the Hot 100.

    Two songs this week incorporate the word "bop", and I can't think of a time I've ever used it in conversation. Maybe while playing Whack-a-Mole?
  • It's a shame that Rick Springfield's "Bop 'Til You Drop" wasn't here too....it could have been the most time's it's appeared in one place since the 60s.
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