Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 95

Dave Steed March 17, 2010 61

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In order to keep the letter V confined to just one week, here’s a special supersized post full of songs that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the 1980s. With so many songs to choose from, you’re bound to find something you like.

Dana Valery
“I Don’t Want to Be Lonely” — 1980, #87 (download)

This soft-rock schlock is another one of those almost-impossible-to-locate 45s. The single was released on Scotti Brothers records in 1980 and marked her only ascent into the chart. Info is sparse at least partially because she goes by her married name of Dana Catalano now and is a spiritual healer and relationship advisor. I guess she doesn’t want anyone to be lonely these days. Think she plays this song to couples having issues?

Frankie Valli
“Where Did We Go Wrong?” — 1980, #90 (download)

Well, if the question “Where Did We Go Wrong?” is being posed, might I offer up the answer of “right here.” A duet with Chris Forde, this light rock crap should have never seen the light of day let alone be played by a small handful of radio stations.

Luther Vandross
“Bad Boy/Having a Party” — 1982, #55 (download)
“Superstar/Until You Come Back to Me” — 1984, #87 (download)
“Give Me the Reason” — 1986, #57 (download)
“There’s Nothing Better Than Love” — 1987, #50 (download)
“Any Love” — 1988, #44 (download)

I can’t believe it’s been four and a half years since Luther Vandross died. Luther was one of the great soul singers of my generation. His music was so smooth and sensual and all the while quite fun, a combo that didn’t happen that often. One of the most memorable first lines in R&B for me is Luther singing “Don’t you remember you told me you loved me, baby,” but I think it was 1986’s Give Me the Reason that really turned me on to him. The title track is okay, but the very similar-sounding “Stop to Love” is the better tune and was the bigger hit from the album. And the really nice thing about Luther is that other than the covers early in his career, he at least cowrote most of his material and didn’t just sing what others pawned off on him.

Van Halen
“And the Cradle Will Rock” — 1980, #55 (download)
“Hot for Teacher” — 1984, #56 (download)

I was all ready for a Van Halen vs. Van Hagar conversation and I’m sure that will still happen (personally I like both eras very much), but all the songs in the decade with Sammy Hagar went Top 40. The only two tracks that didn’t were the first single of the decade, the totally bad-ass “And the Cradle Will Rock” from Women & Children First, and “Hot For Teacher,” the dreaded fourth single from 1984. It might not have gotten a lot of radio airplay, but the video … well, the video might be the greatest one ever made. That crazy solo across the desks from Eddie, wonderfully crappy synchronized dancing from the band, T&A everywhere, and “I brought my pencil.” Now “sit down, Waldo!”

Vanity
“Pretty Mess” — 1984, #75 (download)
“Under the Influence” — 1986, #56 (download)

“Pretty Mess” describes Vanity perfectly. Addicted to crack and seemingly screwing every musician she could get her hands on (Prince, Adam Ant, Billy Idol, Nikki Sixx, Andre Cymone, etc.), she was certainly a mess. Her story has appeared in many places over the years, and as I listen to the vocals on “Pretty Mess” again after all these years, I have to wonder if she was fucked up while recording the track — they sound like they’re coming from someone who imbibed a little before she hit the studio. Well, I guess “Under the Influence” describes Vanity pretty well, too.

These days Denise Matthews is a total born-again, Bible-thumping Christian and has completely disowned her Vanity persona. If you haven’t read Nikki Sixx’s The Heroin Diaries, you should. It’s not only a great book, but Vanity says things in this that make her sound like she’s off her rocker.

It seems a virtual lock that either her or someone from her camp has some crawler going and she’s going to come here and damn me to hell for talking about her vaginal heroics.

Gino Vannelli
“Nightwalker” — 1981, #41 (download)
“The Longer You Wait” — 1982, #89 (download)
“Black Cars” — 1985, #42 (download)
“Hurts to Be in Love” — 1985, #57 (download)
“Wild Horses” — 1987, #55 (download)

I don’t know if there were certain areas of the U.S. that were really into Gino Vannelli or not, but I don’t remember hearing him on the radio at all in Philadelphia, at least not enough for him to have five songs in this series. Neither the title track from 1985’s Black Cars or the second single, “Hurts to Be in Love,” are great songs, but they are the best of these singles. “Wild Horses” is a painful listen as it’s completely a Billy Idol ripoff. The rare track here is “The Longer You Wait,” though. I believe it was meant to be the first single from Twisted Heart, which has been described as edgier than his previous material. Arista refused to release the disc and Vannelli fought with them to get released from his contract. By the time he did, close to four years had passed since his last record and Twisted Heart got scrapped. “The Longer You Wait” never appeared on a disc in the States as far as I can tell.

Randy VanWarmer
“Whatever You Decide” — 1980, #77 (download)
“Suzi Found a Weapon” — 1981, #55 (download)

Two remarkably different songs from Randy VanWarmer here. He’s mainly known for his 1979 hit “Just When I Needed You Most,” but his 1980 album Terraform and its follow-up, Beat of Love, were pretty damn solid records. “Whatever You Decide” is a great hook-filled pop song but “Suzi Found a Weapon” is just flat out awesome. Suzi’s quite a departure from his other hits, almost new-wave. The overall feel of the track reminds me a lot of Jon Astley’s “Put This Love to the Test.” The song was written for one of his A&R reps, who eventually became Suzi VanWarmer!

Suzanne Vega
“Solitude Standing” — 1987, #94 (download)

Despite my distaste for female singers, it’s hard not to like Suzanne Vega’s Solitude Standing. It’s dark yet poppy, and Vega has the perfect voice to pull off her sound. It’s this album that gave her her biggest hits in America and, along with her two releases in the 2000s, the one that gets the most critical praise.

The Vels
“Look My Way” — 1985, #72 (download)

The Vels were a new wave band from my hometown of Philadelphia. They released two albums on Mercury Records and sounded quite a bit like the Thompson Twins. “Look My Way” was the only hit off their debut, Velocity.

Venetians
“So Much for Love” — 1987, #88 (download)

Another short-lived outfit, the Venetians were an Australian synth-pop group. They released three albums (the final two are available in the U.S.), and “So Much for Love” was the first single from the second disc, Calling In the Lions.

Billy Vera & the Beaters
“At This Moment” — 1981, #79 (download)

You might be surprised to see this here since it was a #1 hit for Billy Vera in 1986, but back in ’81 there were people who apparently didn’t quite get the awesomeness of “At This Moment.” I mean, Jesus, is this a heartbreaking yet gorgeous ballad. It’s held up so well throughout the years, and I think it’s one of the top ten ballads of all time. Soundtracking Michael J. Fox’s romantic woes on Family Ties is what it took to propel this one back up the charts in ’86. “At This Moment” was originally released in ’81 on the Billy & the Beaters LP, then released again in ’86 on a Rhino-issued Vera compilation.

Vesta
“Congratulations” — 1989, #55 (download)

Vesta Williams first made her mark as a session singer with artists like Stephanie Mills and Gladys Knight before signing her own deal in 1986. Her self-titled record was released in 1986 and the follow-up, Vesta 4 U, came out in 1989. This tepid ballad is her only Top 100 hit, though she hit the R&B charts eight times in the decade.

Maria Vidal
“Body Rock” — 1984, #48 (download)

Maria Vidal was in Desmond Child’s band Rouge and then sang backup vocals on a few tracks in the ‘80s before going on to be a songwriter. This was the theme song to Lorenzo Lamas’s Body Rock, and Vidal recorded a few songs and even appeared in the 1985 Lauren Hutton-Jim Carrey movie Once Bitten.

Bobby Vinton
“Make Believe It’s Your First Time” — 1980, #78 (download)

Now I’m not going to say I know a whole lot from Bobby Vinton, but given that he’d released singles since the early ‘60s, this is just another example of an artist that continued way too long past his prime. The album from which this song comes – Encore – included his final “hits.”

Vitamin Z
“Burning Flame” — 1985, #73 (download)

Vitamin Z were an English group led by singer Geoff Barradale. “Burning Flame” seems to be their only hit anywhere. Never a favorite of mine, the song is just missing that extra something. The chorus could be so much more vibrant than it is, and I think that’s what pushes it into the world of mediocrity. Barradale went on to sing on the Alan Parsons Project album Gaudi and now manages the Arctic Monkeys.

Voices of America
“Hands Across America” — 1986, #65 (download)

How bad does one of these fundraising songs have to be to not at least crack the Top 40? This project was the idea of Ken Kragen, the same guy that was in charge of USA for Africa. Clearly, this is no “We Are the World” (old or new).

QUICK HITS
Best song: Billy & the Beaters, “At This Moment”
Worst song: Bobby Vinton, “Make Believe It’s Your First Time”

TOP 40 ONLY
Vandenberg (1), Vangelis (1), Vixen (2)

Next week we finally get to the post Jeff Giles has been waiting for ever since this series began two years ago.

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  • musicmanatl

    Oooh, do I get to be the first to comment? :) First, finally we get “Suzi Found A Weapon”! I discovered the LP this was from when I was on my spring break during my senior year in college. My friend Beth had it and played it for me, and then lo and behold, I found it in a cut-out bin on a trip to her local mall. It's flat-out great – go buy it now on Amazon if you like this song. It's available as a two-fer with his follow-up LP added to it. Thank you, Collector's Choice Music!!! Randy Vanwarmer was seriously underrated and it's sad that he's no longer with us. He was way too young to go.

    You know how I'm nice about just about everyone? Well, I seriously can't stand Bobby Vinton. I know that gives me little credibility, since it's BOBBY VINTON, for heaven's sakes, but there's at least one soft rock artist who has me running from the room. His version of “Beer Barrel Polka” in 1975 is one record I always skip on my 1970s hits playlist. Ugh. “My Melody Of Love” isn't much better. Karen Carpenter did a much better version of “Make Believe It's Your First Time” in 1982 before she died.

    I heard Dana Valery's record one time back when it was out in 1981. I kinda liked it, and I'm looking forward to hearing it a second time 29 years later. Thanks Dave!

    I thought Gino Vannelli got ripped off in the '80s. He changed up his sound pretty severely, dropping those highly dramatic ballads, and added some punch to his music. I Iliked “Black Cars” and “Wild Horses” in particular.

    Thanks Dave for another great week!!

  • thefxc

    Gino Vanelli's “Wild Horses” got a lot of Top play around the Scranton/WB area when it was out; I have not idea why expect that the stations there had more of an AC lean than most markets.

    Vitamin Z re-recorded “Burning Flame” in 1989, and I think that version had a bit more punch to it. That said, “Circus Ring” should have been their big hit. A slightly underlooked band.

    Vixen had two Top 40 hits? “Edge of a Broken Heart” and . . . ? I guess they're another band that shouldn't get played on “one-hit-wonder” programs…

    And I take it that Vanity 6's “Sex Shooter” didn't hit the Hot 100? Or was that Appollonia? Or Apollonia 6? Damn you Prince and your untalented harem.

    Strangely enough, my favorite song this week is the Maria Vidal song, and I didn't know it was even a minor hit. It's got that great “You're the Best”-bombast-soundtrack thing going on, they don't make soundtracks like that anymore.

  • Don Karnage

    Does this make two charting singles from Body Rock? Or three? And I don't recall the movie in the slightest. Hell, Electric Dreams barely had one, and I remember that thing being plugged to death on MTV…

    Don't have much to say about the Vs. I have a few, but none of them are favorites or massively disliked. They're just kinda there. I do remember back in college (around 1990) meeting somebody in my dorm. Her music collection consisted of ten cassettes, and one of them was Vitamin Z's Rites of Passage, which I thought was an odd purchase for somebody with only ten cassettes to their name.

    I guess to round out this non-post, I'll point out that the Vanity 6 album beats her solo stuff hollow. It's not just sexy – it's fun. To this day, my partner and I can and will (usually randomly) start trading the lines from “If a Girl Answers, Don't Hang Up”.

    “Why don't you just tie a mattress to your back?”
    “I'm gonna need it, 'cause if I ever see your face, I'm gonna fall and have a heart attack.”

  • brokeastunes

    Yikes. I say Gino Vanelli was singing that way before Billy Idol was ever born. Wild Horses has always been a favorite of mine with it's super hip chords and especially amazing rhythm section (check out those drum breaks on the brushes-no Billy Idol record ever had stuff like that.) P.S. If anybody knows who those cats were I'd love to know…

  • WHarrisBullzEye

    Let's start from the bottom up, just for variety's sake…

    * Hands Across America was born to be parodied…and so it was, most notably in the video for the Ramones' “Something To Believe In.” This and “God Bless The U.S.A.” are currently playing in a back-to-back audio loop in Hell.

    * I can listen to Vitamin Z's “Burning Flame” over and over again. It's just one of those definitively '80s songs.

    * Why all the hate for Bobby Vinton? This actually sounds like one of his classic '60s songs. Better he should've been putting out stuff like this in 1980 than the single that preceded it. “Disco Polka,” anyone?

    * Vesta! Oh, my God, I'd forgotten all about her, but now you've inspired a flashback to my days at the record store, when customers would come in and demand the Vesta album that included “I'll Be Good To You.” The catch was that it wasn't ON a Vesta album. It was on a Najee album. But, no, God forbid they should believe the guy who actually works in the record store…

    * I have never heard of the Vels or of the Venetians, but I love both of these songs.

    * Vanity is gorgeous…and I should know, because I just watched “52 Pick Up” the other day, a film in which is repeatedly naked. (Good times.) I am of the belief that “Pretty Mess” is one of the dirtiest songs ever to reach the top 100…and God love it for that. Go on, you know you want to watch the video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNmMTDqTok4

    In closing, I'd just like to say that both Van Halen's “Hot for Teacher” and Luther Vandross's “Give Me The Reason” are both classics. To say as much of the former is probably a given, but Lootha – it's the only proper way to pronounce his name, really – was THE R&B artist of the '80s. I mean, I don't know if he was truly the most popular from a chart standpoint, but from the number of copies of his greatest-hits album I sold (easily more than any other artist), he was definitely the MAN.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Yes, Vixen had a second song – “Cryin'” which went to #22, four spots higher than “Edge of a Broken Heart”.

    “Sex Shooter” hit #85 – but yes, that was Apollonia, not Vanity.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Somehow I just knew you were going to be first!! :)

    “Suzi Found a Weapon” is a total lost gem. I wish I heard it originally back in the day.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Only one charting single from the actual soundtrack, but if you include Lorenzo Lamas' “Fools Like Me” (not on the soundtrack) it's two songs, I believe.

    Haha, those sound like fun calls. Strange, but fun. And yes, I agree – the Vanity 6 album as a whole is way better than either solo record.

  • The Man I Used To Be

    Steed,

    I know it's early, and W has the potential to take us through the next month, but I need an answer on this question – Will you be doing this for the 90s as well? TAEot8's has become as much of a fabric of my Wednesday morning as my four cups of coffee.

    Please, please, please on the 90s.

    Thanks,
    B

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    I don't have all the tracks from the '90s – if I did, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But sorry, that won't be happening.

  • thefxc

    I think the singles charts in the 90s are close to meaningless anyway, thanks to Soundscan and the Decline of the Single.

    But yes, I'm already missing this series and it isn't over yet. Hopefully at least you'll go into reruns?

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    It would definitely have a different feel to it – with MTV so many bands were huge hits but it's shocking how low they charted because with it was all about the video.

  • musicmanatl

    What gave it away? ;)

    I heard “Suzi” (as the single was officially called, for some reason) a few times when it was issued. I remember that Billboard had a full review in their Spotlight section (not in the LP reviews, but back in the pages with the actual album chart) back in the summer of summer of 1981. The reviewer loved it. I still have that Billboard – I tried to find the review in the Google docs but it didn't show up.

  • musicmanatl

    Hey – I like Bobby's singles in the 1960s just fine. He just got really treacly and bland in the 1970s, though. I was surprised at how bad this version of “Make Believe It's Your First Time” is. Karen's is must more genuine. “Blue on Blue”, though, is just fine. :)

  • musicmanatl

    Boo.

  • musicmanatl

    Well, the Hot 100 in the '90s first got completely mucked up by Billboard's decision to combine airplay for all charts into the Hot 100, and then by record companies' decisions to not issue commercial singles for pop hits, while continuing to do so for rap and R&B. Some of the biggest pop hits of the '90s didn't even hit the top 10 on the Hot 100! Don't even get me started on that topic. Argh. It's the end of the relevance of the Billboard charts for me, for the most part.

  • smf2271

    I personally love Burning Flame, always have (I heard it all the time back in the summer of '85, it got much higher than #73 on the WHTT Power 103 Hit List in Boston!), but I kind of agree, the chorus could have more punch to it. The real awesomeness of the song comes from the intro riff. So '80s, yet so good.

    The Alan Parsons Project song on which Geoff Barradale sang two years later, “Standing On Higher Ground,” from the Gaudi album, is (IMHO) an *amazing* song that I was so sure was going to be the big Parsons Project comeback hit when I first heard it. I'm pretty sure it was released as a single, but it didn't even make the top 100. (It hit #1 on my own fantasy top 40 chart made by a 15 year old of course). Ironically, Barradale sings with quite a bit more energy on that song than on “Burning Flame” – his voice really propels the song.

    Not much else to say about the V's except that Suzanne Vega's “Solitude Standing” is one of the best folk-rock albums of all time.

  • musicmanatl

    I meant to add this too – I always thought Vanity really was incredibly beautiful too. I feel really sorry for her, though. It seems like she got really lost in show business and got into some terrible stuff. That's never fun for the artist or for us, really. Now she won't even talk about those days. But I also agree, “Pretty Mess” has to be one of the dirtiest and funniest songs of the 1980s. Who'd have thought that someone would write an ode to the “joys” (?) of premature ejaculation? LOL

  • kingofgrief

    “Disco Polka”? Are you serious? 'Cause if you are, me wantee!

  • kingofgrief

    Maybe we could pool our resources and make it a group effort…perhaps take turns on commentary each week? It shouldn't be too hard to round up all the '90s BFs in digital form. Time-consuming, yes, but at least we're guaranteed that everything that charted in the decade was issued on CD (except for the possible cassingle-only wild card) and might be floating through cyberspace today.

  • WHarrisBullzEye

    I kid you not, sir. I've never heard it, but here's proof that it existed.

    http://www.discogs.com/viewimages?release=1683561

  • kingofgrief

    Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons are performing with the Houston Symphony in April. I can't afford it, but I'd be there in a heartbeat, as I've been a fan since my single digits. Not much to say about “Where Did We Go Wrong”, though. It's okay, Frankie…Grease is still the word with me.

    This is automatically the most Lootha I've ever had in my collection, as a featured artist anyhow. Until today, he was largely represented in the KoG database by his session work for Bowie, Geils and Chic.

    I have the remaster of every VH album from the first up to 1984, so it's no secret which side of the fence I'm on. My favorite Hagar-era track is “Finish What Ya Started”, which I thought was either ZZ Top or John C. Mellencamp on first listen. (It was the backing vocals that gave it away.) “Hot for Teacher” was a fun video, but hit too close to home in those days. I was a Waldo. Surprised?

    “Hot for Teacher” also ties with “Hurts to Be in Love” for my Meltie candidate this week. Another of my best friend's personal #1s (and I'm surprised he's not a regular BFs commentator himself). I have the “Black Cars” 12″, it's always been a fave despite its corniness. “Wild Horses” ain't bad, but the rhythm track makes me want to sing “Hey litte girl, is your daddy home…” And when it comes to lyrical thievery, Gino's got sticky fingers.

    I have to agree with the concensus concerning “Suzi's Got a Weapon”. Never would have guessed it was Mr. Where-I'll-Find-Comfort-God-Knows. “Whatever You Decide” is cool, too…guess I need that Randy 2-fer musicmanatl mentioned. I know it's not a sighting, but this is the 4th edition in a row to make me think of Rundgren, as he and VanW were Bearsville labelmates at the turn of the decade.

    And now for two surprise Hot 100 entries from my 12″ collection! I bought “Tell Me Something” b/w “Look My Way” cold (and cheap) only knowing what I'd read about the band. And “So Much for Love” was on the backup list for yesterday's all-Australian Classic Club Hour. They're now both in the running for my BFs S-Z special in May (*sob sniff*).

    I saw that episode of Family Ties and said to myself, “I haven't heard the last of this song…”

    Did Madonna crib the 1984 minor-hit songbook for True Blue? There's the titular melodies of “Papa Don't Preach” and “Sugar Don't Bite”, and you can sing the first two lines of the chorus of “Open Your Heart” over the first two lines of the verses in “Body Rock”. Shenanigans have been called.

    Normally I'd defend Bobby Vinton, as I dig his hits (blame my Polish-descendent mother), but there's no call for this. (Two songs better associated with the Carpenters this week. Uncanny.)

    “Burning Flame”: not a bad tune, but rather pouty, especially if you watch the video. Think Barradale's singing to anyone in particular?

    I wanted to link to the Doonesbury Sunday strip for Hands Across America, but I can't find it. So I'll shut up now.

  • NastyG

    Okay, THIS is the week I've been patiently waiting for all along! Though really what more can I say than what you've already said about my all-time 'idol', Vanity? She is the reason my name here and on my blog is Nasty G (after the Vanity 6 track – and the blog was originally called Tanya's Island, after her infamous movie when she went by the name D.D. Winters), on Discogs it's vanity6, on Youtube it's Straponrobbie (after a song from her first solo album) and DDWinters most other places. I was OBSESSED with her back in the day, and while I should credit Prince for my current love of music, it was my first glimpse of her breathtaking beauty and sexy persona through a special on him that got me hooked on him, all of his protegees, and music itself!! No one could convince me that she was a bad singer at the time, though I realize now that she was perhaps not the best vocalist. ;) I watched every interview and collected every picture I could of her. Of course, after reading many books that reference her, including Motley Crue's The Dirt and The Heroin Diaries (which I just read this year and was addicted to, pardon the pun), I realize that she was not exactly someone I should have idolized. After she disappeared from the public eye, then reemerged as a holy roller, I put her to the back of my mind when I got over the disappointment. It seems she just replaced crack with Jesus, and blathers on just as crazy now. But the resurgence of interest in electro/new wave/funk music brought back all the old feelings and obsession, and I must say that her first album, if one can handle the vocals, is an awesome electro-funk album, ahead of it's time. And you shouldn't worry about being damned by her. I created her Facebook page and have never heard a peep. ;) Okay, I'll stop now.

    Otherwise, I'm with WHarrisBullzEye. I have never heard of the Vels or the Venetians, but I dig these tracks! And seeing as how he is Canadian, one couldn't avoid Gino Vanelli up here, and I am surprised that 'Black Cars' wasn't much bigger in the US. It really is a great track.

    Oh, and one last thing – you have a distaste for female singers?? I'm stung, since I adore them, which I'm sure you know by now. And it's funny, because I have used 'At This Moment' and Billy Vera in general as an example of why I'm generally not fond of male singers! LOL That's also why I've never liked a Luther Vandross track… But I'm slowly overcoming my bias. ;)

  • kingofgrief

    And a Tom Moulton mix to boot! This is hereby added to my Discogs wishlist. Thanx!

  • The Man I Used To Be

    Steed,

    Thanks for the response. As a fellow Philadelphian, I can not wait to see what you have in-store for an encore.

    Brendan

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    I never put 2 and 2 together with your name – but it all makes total sense now. She was a damn sexy woman – no doubt. Honestly, I never noticed the poor vocals until I really started critiquing the songs – before that her voice never bothered me much. She's always been on my radar due to my love of Prince though and I'm always intrigued by how dirty some of her songs really were.

    You didn't know about my “general rule”? I don't really like female singers. Outside of my '80s collection I might have a dozen albums with female singers (if that at this point). I don't know why – but outside of the '80s very few female voices do anything for me (Joss Stone I love though!). I think I might be overcoming my bias a little bit as well due in most part to this series. As I go back and listen to the Suzanne Vegas of the world again I realize that I might need to open up a little more. I've definitely noticed the lack of testosterone on the Isle!

  • http://popblerd.wordpress.com/ Mike (popblerd)

    I think it's kinda limiting to call Luther one of the greatest soul singers of our generation. I think he was this generation's best pop stylist and certainly the most versatile male vocalist of recent times. His early solo stuff lends it more to deep funk than his later stuff does, and he easily could've done anything from a jazz vocal album to a standards album (which he almost did) to an all-dance album. It's also worth noting that Luther (at minimum) co-wrote and co-produced ALL of his music for the first decade and a half (or so) of his career. All of his albums had exactly one cover-everything else was him, with assistance from Nat Adderly and Marcus Miller and his stable of co-writers/producers. Part of the reason Epic was reluctant to sign him initially (aside from his weight) was because he insisted on producing himself.

    “At This Moment” is a stone-cold classic. Can't say I've ever heard Billy Vera's vocals on anything else (other than the theme to “The King of Queens”), but that song is the epitome of blue-eyed soul.

    Ohhh, Vanity. If I was in possession of a time machine (and a heterosexual gene), I would go back to 1982 and have relations with Vanity (who gets my vote as sexiest Canadian female celebrity ever). I remember reading somewhere that she was in a few adult films before being “discovered” by Prince. Anyone know if that's the case? I've certainly never seen one (although I have seen an Andrea True porno, which is neither here nor there). Anyway, various commenters who've mentioned how good the Vanity 6 album are right on the money. Their album might actually be my favorite of all Prince side projects.

    “Pretty Mess” and “Under the Influence” were both fun songs-I swear I had no idea what “Pretty Mess” was about until they did one of those VH-1 shows and mentioned the song. There was another song on that album called “Strap On-Robbie Baby”. I don't know how she didn't find herself in Tipper Gore's crosshairs.

  • RoyBatty

    Great post, as always. But liking both Van Halen and Van Hagar equally? Say it isn't so, steed!!
    ;-) And in what way is “Hot for Teacher” “dreaded?”

  • Steve

    'V'ery good set this week!

    A couple of comments – I don't recall them having anything other than 'Turning Japanese', but The Vapors did have that one Top 40 hit in the 80's, so they should be on the 'Top 40 Only' list for this letter…

    Also, when 'At This Moment' hit in 1981, I thought they were listed as 'Billy & The Beaters', so does the non-top 40 charting really count in 'V'?

    Thanks again for all your hard work…

  • kingofgrief

    BTW, that audio loop also houses “Voices That Care”.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    I totally get why they didn't go with the full title for “Suzi” – Two decades later, you can call your single whatever you like, let it be whatever you want and even have the sound of automatic guns mixed into the track (Paging Miss Mia…) The old fart in me misses those days of panicky caution.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    Hands Across America, huh. You couldn't pull that crap off in this day and age, either the song or the physical act of having a stranger-chain holding hands from coast-to-coast. What if one of them didn't wash their hands after using the W.C. and now you are six degrees away from a handful of H1N1.

    I like Vitamin Z, but I'm biased because of my inappropriate fondness for the Alan Parsons Project (and their subsidiaries.)

    I like that Billy Vera tune, yet at the same time hate it. Back when the whole female nation was totally into Michael J. Fox, and this was the soundtrack to true devotion, it was inescapable, like being locked in a concrete cage with Joan Rivers.

  • smf2271

    Aside from “Solitude Standing,” I'd recommend Kate Bush's “The Dreaming”, 'Til Tuesday's “Everything's Different Now,” Sade's “Diamond Life,” No Doubt's “Tragic Kingdom”, and Erykah Badu's “Baduizm”, all as great albums by female singers to start with for a child of the '80s who isn't into the folk / acoustic thing (which I don't think you are, from my memory of earlier posts – if I'm wrong, add anything by Joni MItchell from 1976 or earlier to that list) The last two of those albums are actually from the mid-'90s but have some strong '80s influences.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Oh no, you're reading that slightly wrong on both accounts. I didn't say equally. I said I like both eras, which I do. I'm as happy listening to DLR era as Hagar – different sound, certainly – but to me both have their merits. DLR was hard rockin' and Sammy brought the pop hooks to them. I've always been a guy that has no problem with a band evolving over time.

    And the song itself is not, “dreaded” – it's the fact that it was the fourth single. There are many exceptions, but the vast majority of 4th singles from '80s records ended up in this series. That's the “dreaded 4th single” that I go by.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Yes, totally right on the Vapors – must have skipped right over that. “Turning Japanese” hit #36. Good catch.

    And yep, technically it's “Billy & the Beaters” but Joel Whitburn lists the songs under – Vera, Billy & the Beaters, therefore it didn't even occur to me until V rolled around.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    You aren't wrong – so Joni Mitchell probably won't cross paths with my ears. I've listened to all of the albums you mentioned except for Erykah Badu. Sade's another one that I can absolutely listen to and I don't mind Gwen Stafani at all. I understand Kate Bush's appeal, but for some reason I've never been able to get into her.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Man, I even remember as a young kid not wanting to hold hands with some stranger – what a concept.

    The thing about the Vera tune is that it still holds up very well today – at least to my ears. I don't know if that would come out today and be a hit, but it doesn't sound anywhere remotely as dated as 1981. I think I grow more and more fond of it with every listen. It wasn't until I fell in love and got my heart broken that I really understood it for what it was.

  • RoyBatty

    Dunno…”as happy listening to” sounds pretty close to “equally” to my dictionary. (I keed, I keed!!)

    Okay, I see. So I guess it was the 'would be dreaded 4th single,' in this case.

  • http://www.bastardradio.com steed

    Well it's a good thing I'm not using your dictionary then! Ha. Yeah, I sort of did get closer to equal in the second statement, didn't I? For the record, I'd take the Diamond Dave era if I had to choose one. I'd just have to have Chickenfoot thrown in for my Hagar fix.

  • JT

    agreed.
    Dont know where the “it’s completely a Billy Idol ripoff” comes from.
    Great song.

  • Jonathan

    Yay! I've wanted those two Vanity singles forever! The best of her post-Prince work. I've still got “Under the Influence” on the vinyl LP “Skin on Skin”, but I haven't heard “Pretty Mess” since they used to play the video on MuchMusic (the Canadian MTV). Thanks!

    Speaking of MuchMusic, they played “Black Cars” all the time when it came out, and I assumed it was a big hit everywhere, but maybe his success is largely limited to Canada.

  • NastyG

    Vanity was indeed in Tipper's crosshairs – 'Strap On Robbie Baby' was #4 on Tipper's PMRC list of the “Filthy Fifteen”. ;) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parents_Music_Reso…

    And as for her 'adult films', the only truly naughty one was the infamous Tanya's Island, when she was known as D.D. Winters and in which she falls for a gorilla. Even the title track of her first solo album Wild Animal is a tribute to it. You can find it on DVD. It's a must see. ;) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083168/

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  • Ray

    You're rignt about the relative scarcity of Vanity's music these days… seems like most of it has virtually disappeared since she discovered her faith. As far as I know the only Vanity solo song that's appeared on CD is “7th Heaven” from THE LAST DRAGON movie soundtrack. I still have WILD ANIMAL on vinyl and apparently the second single “Mechanical Emotion” did not chart… really too bad because it's a sizzling duet with Morris Day (and had a relatively provocative picture sleeve to boot!).

  • 10over9

    Man I was psyched to get “Blister in the Sun.” I had no idea it didn't chart as much play as I heard it in high school and college.

  • http://www.bullz-eye.com DavidMedsker

    I love “Black Cars.” Pretty nifty makeover for a mellow gold guy.

  • ElCartero

    So do I. Remember the “Michael Bolton” character in “Office Space”, whose life was messed up by that “no talent assclown” with the same name who came on the scene when he was 12? I TOTALLY related (well not totally; I only share Vanwarmer's first name) since I was 12 when “Just When I Needed You Most” was all over the radio. The first hit song by a “Randy” I was aware of out there, and it was some piece of sub-Fogelberg wuss-pop that embarrassed me no end. I sure would have liked knowing he was capable of something like “Suzi”, which to me sounds like a really good lost Ben Orr-fronted Cars track.

  • davidjburton

    Dana Valery was on “What's My Line?” a few times as a celebrity panelist in the early and mid-'70s; she had another Top 100 hit around that time in “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” (#95, 1976). She's also the younger sister of Sergio Franchi (“Who?”).

  • kingofgrief

    Sergio Franchi's name rang a bell, so I looked him up on Wikipedia. His albums use to pepper department store cutout bins in the '80s.