Section 1: The Ass End
“Galileo” 1992, #89 (2 weeks) (download)
I’m sure the Indigo Girls were for someone but that someone is certainly not me. “Galileo” was the second single from Rites of Passage and features both David Crosby and Jackson Browne on background vocals.
Inner Circle wasn’t a one hit wonder! Most people know them for “Bad Boys” but they even had another top 20 hit you’d recognize in “Sweat.” Early in the ‘90s they had a steel drum reggae sound, then they mixed it with pop music until the late ‘90s with something like “Not About Romance” playing around with the hip-hop flavored reggae While “Rock with You” is not a Michael Jackson cover, “Games People Play” is a cover song, the original done by Joe South.
“Whatcha Gonna Do With My Lovin” 1990, #76 (6 weeks) (download)
“Whatcha Gonna Do…” is the second of Inner City’s two hits…a pretty generic beat that is closer to putting me to sleep than making me get up and dance.
“I Don’t Wanna Go On” 1998, #95 (2 weeks) (download)
Back-to-back pretty generic tunes, this one from a group never to be heard from again. This was the very first single on a label called Straight Hits.
Insane Clown Posse
“Santa’s A Fat Bitch” 1997, #67 (5 weeks) (download)
This is exactly why I do this series. Where else outside of a Juggalo gathering would I be able to talk about a song called “Santa’s A Fat Bitch?” Usually over the years, making fun of a group gets old, for instance it just doesn’t seem worth it to rag on Nickleback any longer. But, I will never ever get tired of laughing at how bad ICP is. In the midst of a slew of really shitty songs from them, this one might take the cake. This is one of those that’s so bad, you have to listen to it twice just to understand how crappy it is.
The only thing I ever give Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J credit for is being great business men. They are the white trash, clown makeup wearing version of Kiss. Even Kiss though had decent enough music to listen to though. But Kiss were never classified by the FBI as a gang as the members of the Juggalo family are.
Intonation featuring Joee
“Died In Your Arms” 1995, #86 (7 weeks) (download)
I’m shocked I don’t remember this one as I was surely up on my ‘80s cover songs. And what radio station didn’t play danceable ‘80s remakes? The only thing I know about the group is that Joee was on Star Search. Whoopie!
“Funny How Time Flies” 1995, #90 (3 weeks) (download)
According to these guys, “time flies when you’re making love.” I’ll have to remind my wife about this next time she starts yawning during it.
It’s certainly not difficult to see why “Bitter Tears” stalled short of the top 40 – I mean, c’mon boys, there’s no hook at all! I happen to like “Beautiful Girls” but they could have made this so grand, with a choir, a string section and any little bit of a pulse. Some might argue but around the point when Welcome To Wherever You Are came out, INXS records sounded less energetic and more like the band was simply going through the motions.
Joyce “Fenderella Irby
“I’ll Be There” 1990, #70 (7 weeks) (download)
As the co-lead singer of Klymaxx, “I’ll Be There” wasn’t much of a stretch for Fenderella to sing since it basically is the group’s “I Miss You” mixed with the retread beats of a dozen quiet storm songs.
“Somebody’s Crying” 1995, #45 (20 weeks) (download)
Although Chris Isaak didn’t have much chart success with his singles beyond the completely sexy, “Wicked Game,” almost all of his records have hit the top 40 in the U.S. and between some excellent albums and his acting gigs, he’s still well known today. However, the video for “Wicked Game” is always going to be what most people remember him for musically. Of course there’s also the naked mermaid on The Chris Isaak Show to think fondly of as well.
At this point in the career of the Isley Brothers, Ronald was the only original member, hence the “featuring” addendum to the band’s name. Kelly died in 1986 and Rudy split in 1990 leaving Ronald and younger brothers Ernie and Marvin to continue on with the family name.
“Floatin’ On Your Love” features Angela Winbush whom Ronald had married a few years earlier. After they divorced in 2003, he started dating and eventually wed a singer that is 35 years younger. 35! Pimpin’.
After spending some time in jail for tax evasion, he released a solo record called “Mr. I” and seems to be somewhat of a go-to guy for smooth choruses within the ever expanding circle of Snoop Dogg’s buddies.
I to I
“The Right Time” 1994, #81 (8 weeks) (download)
This dance trio had a dude named Ewart van Horst in it. Brilliant name.
“Relax & Party” 1997, #88 (5 weeks) (download)
When I relax, I go to bed. I only party when I’m…. well, hmmm…I guess I don’t party. Shit. I’m old.