Bookshelf: John Carroll, “The Existential Jesus”

John Carroll – The Existential Jesus (2009, Counterpoint)
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You can’t claim to offer an interpretation of the Gospel of Mark that claims to offer up hitherto unseen angles — or title the result The Existential Jesus — without stirring up a few hornet’s nests, and that’s exactly what John Carroll has been doing in his native Australia since this slim 274-page volume was released in the fall. This is all well and good for Carroll, who made his bones on iconoclastic works such as Humanism: The Rebirth and Wreck of Western Culture, but will it help the casual armchair theologian come to a deeper understanding of the West’s most famous woodworking philosopher?

Yes and no. Carroll’s work isn’t the fumbling embarrassment that his detractors claim it is — but it is a scattered, conflicted book, one that attempts to shatter theoretical framework even as it relies upon it to make crucial arguments, and one that’s just as likely to draw upon established dogma (i.e. Judas as cartoon villain) as it is to try and break new ground (the whole “existential Jesus” thing, which really isn’t all that new, but let’s not quibble). To top it all off, Carroll’s writing style is always very dry and occasionally overly analytical; chunks of The Existential Jesus can be a bit of a slog.

It’s also difficult to put down. This is probably due more to the source material — Mark is the shortest Gospel, and for a book in the Bible, moves along at a pretty good clip — than anything Carroll does with it, but it still has the effect of turning The Existential Jesus into something of a page-turner. Hardcore theologians may take issue with Carroll’s interpretation of the book’s central figure; some reviewers have suggested that his Jesus is defined more by his doubt and self-absorption than his mission. But for open-minded religious readers — and anyone interested in gaining a bit of insight into what I’ll call, for lack of a better term, the “historical” Jesus — the book has a fair amount of wheat to go with its chaff. Carroll’s Jesus isn’t the beatific, divinely removed figure you remember from Sunday school, but he is about as bummed out and conflicted as you’d expect a young man with the literal weight of the world on his shoulders to be. It’s undeniably compelling stuff. (more…)

Bookshelf: Bob Schildgen, “Hey Mr. Green”

Bob Schildgen – Hey Mr. Green: Sierra Magazine’s Answer Guy Tackles Your Toughest Green Living Questions (2008, Sierra Club/Counterpoint)
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Which is worse — paper or plastic? Can an ecologically conscious person eat guilt-free meat or fish? And, God help us, what’s the most eco-friendly brand of gasoline to buy? As anyone who’s devoted more than a few moments of thought to living a greener lifestyle can tell you, it’s no longer as simple as going out and hugging a tree; even the most well-meaning consumer decisions can wind up having unintended effects, and sometimes making a change is worse than doing nothing at all.

Bob Schildgen — otherwise known as Sierra Magazine’s Answer Guy — is here to help. As subscribers already know, Schildgen has spent the last several years answering questions from concerned readers, many of which are collected in the pages of Hey Mr. Green. The best thing about the book, happily, is Schildgen himself — his writing style is nicely down-to-earth, as shown in the book’s introduction, where he jokes about fulfilling a dream of having a book on top of toilet tanks across America. His answers to these questions also tend to be much more pragmatic than you might expect from someone calling himself Mr. Green: More than once, he waves off a reader’s concerns about, say, the amount of energy it takes to transport Alaskan salmon across the country with well-founded cost analysis arguments. Schildgen’s aim is not to make you feel like the world is about to end, but to point you in the right direction for responsible — and easily achievable — living.

At 216 pages, Hey Mr. Green is pleasantly breezy, and what it lacks in encyclopedic depth, it makes up with breadth; it’s also exactly the right size for those toilet tanks Schildgen jokes about in his introduction, and at just over $10 for the paperback, it’s a great gift for the eco-conscious acquaintance in your life or office. But don’t stop there — funny, informative, and never preachy, Hey Mr. Green also makes for an instantly compelling introduction to the green liftestyle, and it’s thin enough to slip under the windshield wiper of that vanity-plated Hummer in your parking lot. Order up a few copies today.

Bookshelf: Holiday Gift Ideas

So you say that your finances are under more pressure than Rod Blagojevich and you still have gifts to buy for the holidays? Join the club. When you think about it, books make a really sensible gift. In addition to providing hours of pleasure for your loved ones, they cost very little in the scheme of things, and with online discounters like Amazon offering free shipping for orders over $25, well, it’s somewhat of a no-brainer. I completed most of my list last week by spending less than ten minutes online, and the order arrived at my door two days later. No malls. No lines. No parking nightmares.

This year there are a lot of good book options for the music lovers in your life. None of the books that appear here cost more than $30 on Amazon, and most are considerably less expensive. There are coffee table books, and interesting biographies. Know someone who is not that interested in music? I’ve provided some good choices for them as well, with a couple of excellent novels, a wise and witty look at the first colonists of this country, and a biography of one of the pre-eminent journalists of the last half-century.

The books are listed in order of genre, not preference. Without further ado, here are my gift choices.

Coffee Table Books

Quincy Jones

The Complete Quincy Jones: My Journey and Passions – by Quincy Jones

It’s good to have friends, and Q has a lot of them. Before his own recollections even begin, there are introductory valedictories from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Bono, Clint Eastwood, and Maya Angelou. This beautifully put together volume provides extraordinary access to a man who has been at the forefront of the music business for decades, working with everyone from Frank Sinatra to Michael Jackson. There are private notebooks, correspondence, and photographs, along with reproductions of report cards, track sheets, and accounting ledgers. (more…)

Bookshelf: “The Customer Is Always Wrong: The Retail Chronicles”

Jeff Martin (Editor) – The Customer Is Always Wrong: The Retail Chronicles (2008, Soft Skull)
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I’ve been lucky enough not to have had to wear any paper hats, but like most citizens of the industrialized world, I have stepped behind a couple of retail counters in my day — and although I had those jobs a long time ago, the memories are still fresh, and I read the Jeff Martin-edited anthology The Customer Is Always Wrong: The Retail Chronicles with great interest, looking for hints of my past in other writers’ experiences. I never really found any, but it’s an enjoyable read nonetheless.

Martin’s compilation is slim (under 200 pages) and lacks the involvement of any “name” writers (slight exceptions: Neal Pollack, who wrote the foreword, and Jim DeRogatis, who is a legendary music critic and therefore probably doesn’t count), both of which are unfortunate, because retail life is one of the few remaining common threads that bind us all together, and I think this could have been a slam dunk of nonfiction humor if it had been put together a little differently. As it is, The Customer Is Always Wrong is a solidly unassuming read, good for a few chuckles here and there, but far from a definitive statement on the wild, wonderful world of ritual pain and humiliation that is waiting on the consumptive masses.

The book consists of 22 brief essays from writers such as Richard Cox, Hollis Gillespie, and Elaine Viets, all of whom tell their stories with the sort of bemused detachment that comes with the relative certainty that you will never again need to experience the things you’re talking about — and also, it bears mentioning that most of the stories included in this volume treat retail work as a positive experience, more or less, which is an opinion clearly not shared by a sizeable percentage of the people working retail at this very moment, and may, in fact, not jibe with your own memories of being a “sales associate.”

Still, even if The Retail Chronicles fails to really stab at the ink-black heart of the retail experience — in fact, some of the writers Martin chose are a little obnoxious — that doesn’t mean it isn’t frequently a lot of fun, or worth following up with a second volume. And at under $10.50 new, it’ll make a pleasant addition to the bathroom book basket, or a nice holiday gift for a friend who doesn’t rate a major purchase. Damning with faint praise? Perhaps, but I’m still looking forward to The Customer Is Still Wrong: The Retail Chronicles II.

Bookshelf: “The Mental Floss History of the World”

My World History teacher in high school, Mrs. Rivers, was less than efficient in her use of verbiage. While lecturing about the Peloponnesian Wars or the Roman aqueducts, she would adorn her stories with so many verbal-tic qualifiers – “if you will,” “shall we say,” “I say to you” – that a pair of dorks in the back of the classroom invented a game they called “Shall-We-Say Baseball” to pass the time. (I don’t remember which rarely used phrase prompted a home run, but I do remember the whispered cheers that emanated from their table whenever one was scored.) Anyway, Mrs. Rivers spent so much time on her qualifiers that she arrived at school one day in February and realized she was still talking about the sacking of Rome by the Huns. So she announced that morning that, following our unit test, we would be skipping ahead to World War I in order to hit the key points in the standard curriculum.

Thank goodness, then, for The Mental Floss History of the World – because 1,500 years is a lot of history to skip, and I gave up textbooks for good in 1992. The fine folks at mental_floss magazine, in print and online, have spent the last seven years daring an anti-intellectual, Bush-benumbed populace to embrace the acquisition of knowledge. They’ve done it with bite-size tidbits of trivia and explorations of entire epochs – as well as discussions of science and economics that make those subjects as accessible as they’re ever going to get. And they’ve leavened it all with just enough snarky humor to make their facts taste like Tang instead of, say, Metamucil.

They’ve sliced, diced, condensed and expanded upon such material for eight previous books. But a History of the World? That would seem a rather monumental undertaking – heck, even Mel Brooks couldn’t get past Part I. (more…)

Bookshelf: Danny Goldberg, “Bumping Into Geniuses”

Danny Goldberg – Bumping Into Geniuses: My Life Inside the Rock and Roll Business (2008)
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Most rock & roll memoirs are penned either by rock stars themselves (Clapton, Dylan) or by the original titans of the industry (Ertegun, Yetnikoff), and as our pal Pete Lubin discovered when he tried peddling his own account of his life in the biz, there’s a reason for this: The number of people who purchase books filled with rock-geek trivia — shit, the number of people who purchase books period — is woefully small. It’s surprising, then, to see Gotham taking a flier on an autobiography from Danny Goldberg — but as you’ll quickly discover if you pick up a copy, it’s quite a pleasant surprise.

Goldberg, for the non-geeks among us, was one of the biggest seat-hoppers in the game of high-stakes musical chairs played by the major labels in the ’90s — and before that he was, in order of occurrence, a Billboard staffer, Led Zeppelin’s publicist (and eventual label VP), and manager to Stevie Nicks, Bonnie Raitt, and Kurt Cobain. A man with that perfect combination of dumb luck and ears for talent, in other words — and a veritable treasure trove of behind-the-scenes stories.

Sadly for readers who pick up books like this in search of juice and dirt, Bumping Into Geniuses focuses less on who did what to whom and more on how incredibly fucking awesome it is to fall in love with rock & roll, and then fall ass over elbow into one pile of money after another until you’re sitting on top of the Warner Music Group without any real idea of how it happened. I’m oversimplifying things a bit — and surely Goldberg did have a very clear grasp of how he rose so far, so fast — but that’s the basic tone of the book: It’s a gee-whiz account of Goldberg’s many brushes with greatness. (The title, by the way, comes from Ahmet Ertegun’s quip to a teenage Goldberg that the secret to success in the business is to walk around bumping into geniuses.) (more…)

Bookshelf: Juliana Hatfield, “When I Grow Up: A Memoir”

Juliana Hatfield When I Grow Up book coverJuliana Hatfield – When I Grow Up: A Memoir
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“… if you’re timid and looking for mercy, stay on the road that leads to a more compassionate world. ‘Cause this one I know will eat you up alive, brother. I mean, alive!”
—recitation by Hank Ballard, from James Brown’s
Get on the Good Foot LP, 1972

Growing up in New England, Juliana Hatfield was a fixture of my music diet. While I was living there, I took it for granted that, in between her regular tours, I could catch her playing the odd solo show here or there, testing out new material that would often show up on an album sooner or later. Indeed, it was a Juliana Hatfield show that initiated my regular ritual of patronizing my favorite artists at small rock clubs. Prior to that first club show in early ’94, the only live music environments I really knew were venues with a seating capacity of at least 3,000-ish.

In 2004, I moved to San Francisco, and lucky me – Juliana was playing a show at a charming local venue called Café du Nord not too long after I touched down. It was an appropriate musical start to my new life in a new city.

But after that ’04 show, one of the two or three best Hatfield performances I had witnessed, she dropped off my radar. It wasn’t for lack of paying attention – she didn’t even make it to San Francisco on her tour in support of 2005’s Made in China, and she was pretty much off the road after that for all I knew, in spite of having released three more records after Made in China. What was up with that? (more…)

Bookshelf: “The Ninja Handbook”

Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine – Ask a Ninja Presents: The Ninja Handbook (This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon)
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I suppose I should begin by saying I’ve never watched the video podcast that inspired this book, mainly because until very recently I was held in the slimy grasp of the most horrible “broadband” ISP that has ever existed, and was subject to a seriously fucked up daily download limit — but also probably because I tend to find ninjas about as funny as pirates, or pictures of kittens with poorly spelled captions, which is to say not very.

(I do, however, find Chuck Norris pretty goddamn hysterical.)

Still, when we were approached about reviewing the new paperback release of The Ninja Handbook, and Jason pussed out couldn’t take the assignment, I volunteered — partly because I wanted to know what all the hubbub was about, but also because, as one of the names behind a webzine that wishes it had publishers begging for the chance to print mass-market printed versions of its content, I wanted to see what it takes to get your site ported onto bookshelves. Also, I was insanely jealous.

And now that I’ve read The Ninja Handbook, I’m even more insanely jealous. I’m also befuddled and a little annoyed, because, to put it as simply as possible, this shit isn’t funny.

I acknowledge this is a minority opinion. Everything I’ve read about Ask a Ninja in general, and this book specifically, has been overwhelmingly positive. But while I certainly found myself chuckling in bewilderment more than once while reading the book, at no point did I ever stop wondering who in the world would spend $14.95 on it — or who would read it more than once. In fact, I strongly suspect that most of the people who find this stuff funny probably don’t spend much time reading. (more…)

Bookshelf: Tommy Chong, “Cheech & Chong: The Unauthorized Autobiography”

The comedy duo of Richard “Cheech” Marin and Tommy Chong redefined American comedy in the 1970s and ’80s with seven albums and six feature films, including their debut, Up in Smoke, the most successful movie of 1978. One generation after another has been influenced by their hilarious but painfully honest take on the stoner lifestyle, and there isn’t a single person in this country who can’t hum the first three bars of their 1974 hit single “Earache My Eye.”

Or so says Tommy Chong, who may have been stoned when he wrote Cheech & Chong: The Unauthorized Autobiography (which wasn’t printed on hemp paper as far as I can tell). For one thing, he’s forgetting — or choosing to ignore — that another R-rated comedy called National Lampoon’s Animal House came out the same year as Up in Smoke and grossed $120 million compared to Up in Smoke’s $44 million. Grease and Superman also came out in ‘78 and grossed $159 million and $134 million, respectively. Maybe Up in Smoke cost less to produce than any of those blockbusters, but if I quote any more box-office numbers I might get accused of harshing Chong’s buzz. Then again, he doesn’t like how “the Republician [sic] Party with the Axis of Evil — Bush, Cheney, and Rove — has systematically torn the Constitution of the United States of America to shreds in the past seven years they have been in power,” so it seems hypocritical of him to mangle history and facts for his own hagiographical purposes, doesn’t it?

Luckily, The Unauthorized Autobiography isn’t a long rant against the Bush administration. Chong probably got that out of his system for the most part in his previous book, 2006’s The I Chong: Meditations from the Joint, which he wrote while he was in prison for nine months in 2003 and 2004 on drug-paraphernalia distribution charges. But throughout his new book there are so many ridiculous boasts and distortions of the truth that I often found myself saying, “Are you high?!” (During dull spots, I entertained myself by ending each sentence with the word “man” just like Chong’s stock character does in Cheech & Chong’s movies. Try it — it’s fun, man!) For instance, in 1982 the long-forgotten spoof film It Came From Hollywood “was in trouble and needed some star power to put some butts in the seats. Cheech and Chong were the hottest movie stars at the time, so [Paramount Pictures executive] Jeffrey [Katzenberg] flew to Vancouver Island to get my support.” Are you high?! I was only six in 1982, but I still knew enough to know that Cheech & Chong were not the biggest movie stars in America.

(more…)

Bookshelf: Tim Etchells, “The Broken World”

Tim Etchells – The Broken World (2008)
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The Internet has been, as Chico Escuela would say, very very good to me — but still, as a general rule, I’ve never had much patience for any kind of computer-themed or virtual reality-based entertainment. I maintain that this is because most of it falls somewhere between the 1995 Sandra Bullock train wreck The Net and Billy Idol’s Cyberpunk in terms of quality, but I’m also man enough to admit that there’s a certain amount of geek-fic prejudice in there — so imagine my surprise when I found myself thoroughly engrossed in Tim Etchells’ The Broken World.

On its face, it doesn’t seem to have the makings of a successful book — it has an anonymous, not terribly likable narrator, and consists of blog entries posted as a walkthrough for the vast (fictional) game from which The Broken World takes its title — but Etchells ends up pulling it (mostly) out of the bag anyway. Even though his narrator isn’t terribly bright or motivated about anything other than the game, Etchells has a knack for pacing — the chapters are short and fast-moving, pulling the reader easily into the story, which quickly moves from the game into “real life” and back again. It’ll come as no surprise to anyone that the lines between the two start to blur after a bit — but not in the way you’d probably expect. (more…)