Junk Food

Consumerism, Junk Food

7-11’s Doritos Loaded: A Mouthful Of Meh

It won't thrill you, it won't kill you....

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Three-Way Breakfast Cereal Battle Royale!

The Great Gross-Off is probably my oldest Web series, and also my most infrequent, so I won’t blame any of you for not remembering...

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Consumerism, Junk Food, Random Play

Random Play: The Hostess Chocodile

Twinkie dipped in chocolate, or dessert of the gods? In her latest Random Play, Robin Monica Alexander sings the praises of the Chocodile....

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Cupcake Pebbles

If you know anything about dessert, you know cupcakes are the hottest thing around, and have been for years. Wherever you look, cupcakes...

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Consumerism, Junk Food, Product Tests

Product Review: Heritage Dr. Pepper

In his solo hit “Heart of the Matter,” Don Henley famously sang that “if you keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Taco Bell’s Bacon Cheesy Potato Burrito

Ever looked at a burrito and thought, "That could use some potatoes"? Taco Bell is one step ahead of you -- and Matt Wardlaw has braved its...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Boston Cream Pie Toaster Strudels Edition

It’s long been claimed as the official dessert of Boston, but it was created by a French chef — so even if you’ve never...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: M&M’s Premiums Edition

Dear Everyone Who Ever Said I’d Never Amount to Anything: Suck it. Do you see what I have here? You do? Let me spell it out for you...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Chocolate Mix Skittles Edition

Ah, Skittles. Remember that good old-fashioned rainbow of fruit flavors? Remember when it just came in that friendly red package, and you...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Java Pop (Hazelnut) Edition

When I saw that our beloved leader, Mr. Giles, had revived this feature, my heart leapt with joy. “At last!” I thought....

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Consumerism, Junk Food

The Great Gross-Off: Snickers Adventure Bar Edition

Welcome back to the Great Gross-Off! Those of you who weren’t loyal Jefitoblog readers may not remember this series — Lord...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great gross-off: cap’n crunch polar crunch edition

I think I must be late to the party on this particular Great Gross-Off subject, because it was at least April when I saw it in the grocery...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great gross-off: kellogg’s go-tarts edition

I am not a cranky 100-year-old man who constantly complains that things aren’t the way they were in the good old days. Really,...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great gross-off: eggo cereal edition

So. Let’s say it’s time for breakfast, the most important meal of the day, and you’re seriously jonesing for some...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great gross-off: habanero doritos edition

It was the spring of 2001 — May, to be exact — but I remember it like it was yesterday: My good buddy Rahul and I were spending...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great gross-off: thanksgiving in a bottle edition

Greetings, friends, and welcome back from what I hope was a deeply enjoyable, tryptophan-enhanced food coma. As I mentioned previously, the...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great gross-off: mountain dew mdx edition

Despite recent appearances to the contrary, the ongoing Gross-Off series has not been abandoned here at jefitoblog; it’s just that...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

gross-off: the batman limited edition cereal

You know, I’ve never cared much about Halloween. Even as a kid, the candy didn’t excite me as much as it did my friends —...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

gross-off, hostess edition: halloween glo balls

It’s almost Halloween at our neighborhood Safeway: Veteran Hostess consumers will recognize “Glo Balls” as cleverly...

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Consumerism, Junk Food, Music

come back to the crazy buffet, jimmy dean

Back in February, I mentioned driving past Crazy Buffet, a new restaurant in Sunnyvale. I didn’t have any intention of eating there,...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

Silly conejo! Trix is for los niños!

So I’m pouring The Boy’s cereal this morning, and I notice something a little different about this week’s box of Trix: It...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great cereal gross-off: peanut butter cookie crisp edition

During their Biblical forty years of wandering in the desert, the Jews subsisted on a miracle food that fell from the heavens each night....

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Consumerism, Junk Food

week boy-ar-dee: cheesy burger ravioli

This is it, my friends — the end of Week Boy-Ar-Dee: It’s been a bumpy road, to be sure, but an educational one nonetheless....

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Consumerism, Junk Food

week boy-ar-dee: chili cheese dog twistaroni

So. We meet again, my fat, toque-headed nemesis: I won’t lie to you — yesterday’s Boyarxperiment hurt me, and hurt me...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

week boy-ar-dee: pepperoni pizzazaroli

Yes. Fucking Pepperoni Pizzazaroli: You would think “Pepperoni Pizza Ravioli” would be good enough, or even “Pepperoni...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

week boy-ar-dee: cheesy nacho twistaroni

Behold! Isn’t modern technology wonderful? They’ve taken cheesy nacho, combined it with pasta, and put it in a can. Convenience...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the GREAT CEREAL GROSS-OFF: Kellogg’s Mini Swirlz Fudge Ripple edition

I realize it’s been a long time since I did an entry on some new piece of dumb junk food, but our nation’s beloved...