Consumerism »

Why, Mott’s? Why?

Why, Mott’s? Why?

Jeff Giles April 4, 2005 0

So, as some of you may remember, during a recent trip to the grocery store, I discovered a terrible new development in applesauce engineering: I was too stunned to buy it, and some of

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winning the war on consumers

winning the war on consumers

Jeff Giles April 1, 2005 0

“These are dire times, men,” said the CEO of Sunshine Foods to the members of the board. “Profits are up, sure, but what with all of our bonus packages eating into the margin, something’s

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oh my god you guys it’s so bad

oh my god you guys it’s so bad

Jeff Giles March 18, 2005 0

It’s called B(e), pronounced “B-to-the-E,” and it’s Budweiser’s latest innovation in their quest to make terrible beer. “Hey, people like Red Bull in their vodka,” say the Bud geniuses. “Why not add it to

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GROSS-OFF, part 2: Asian Edition

GROSS-OFF, part 2: Asian Edition

Jeff Giles March 11, 2005 0

At the grocery store last weekend, I noticed a pair of new, horrible-looking food products, so naturally, I had to buy them. I thought it would probably be awhile before I got around to

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the GREAT CEREAL GROSS-OFF, round 1

the GREAT CEREAL GROSS-OFF, round 1

Jeff Giles March 2, 2005 0

Ladies and gentlemen, in the BLUE corner, hailing from POST and loaded with TEN ESSENTIAL VITAMINS & MINERALS (including IRON AND ZINC FOR GROWTH), we have MARSHMALLOW MANIA PEBBLES: And in the BROWN corner,

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oh, the humanity

oh, the humanity

Jeff Giles October 31, 2004 0

Now, here’s what I think, and you can disagree with me if you want: You’ve got to feel just a little bit sorry for Randy Quaid. The most tempting question is “Why, Randy Quaid?

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There’s a fiesta in my cereal bowl and everyone’s throwing up

There’s a fiesta in my cereal bowl and everyone’s throwing up

Jeff Giles September 18, 2004 0

I think this shit is hilarious: I mean, there’s pandering to a demographic, and then there’s pandering to a demographic. And this is the latter, don’t you think? I mean, fucking Fiesta Fruity Pebbles?

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Yum

Yum

Jeff Giles August 12, 2004 0

I suppose it stands to reason that people who are willing to eat cereal made from fruit picked by a talking toucan will also be willing to eat alien berries. Print

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