Bootleg City

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Old Days

Old days — good times I remember. Fun days, filled with simple pleasures. Drive-in movies, comic books and blue jeans, Howdy...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Doesn’t Smell Like Team Spirit to Me

As most of you know by now, “The Goon and the Prune” didn’t shoot a single frame of film in Bootleg City. Amnesty...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Neil Sedaka in London, March ’10

Citizens of Bootleg City, this is your mayor. This is your mayor on drugs. This is your mayor on drugs trying to get over a bout of hay...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: The Heroically Tedious Journey of Making a Movie Begins!

Last week I delivered the thrilling news that a movie is going to be shot right here in Bootleg City, and now I’m happy to announce...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: The Movie!

To fully enjoy the following piece of news from the mayor of Bootleg City, you must put on your 3-D glasses. And in order to be fully...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: In the Darkest Hour …

Folks, I have some exciting news to share with you — the Terrorist Dunking Booth is back! After the terrorist attacks of September...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Alex Chilton (1950-2010)

Alex Chilton was the king of rock 'n' roll. The king of rock 'n' roll is dead. Long live the king....

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Remember Me (as Better-Looking Than You)

“What will be my legacy?” It’s a question every politician has to answer. Will we be remembered for fighting the good...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: My Life Would Suck Without Young Girls

On Monday I was told that my poll numbers have been slipping among young girls. This may seem like no big deal when you consider that no...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: A New, Radical Concept for the Future

There’s been a lot of negativity here in Bootleg City the past few months. From last fall’s mayoral election to the criticism...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Endless Vacation

Fellow citizens of Bootleg City, I have something to confess — I am not a fellow citizen. I’m the mayor. I’m up here, and...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Blue Angel in New York City, February ’81

A few months ago I wrote a couple pieces praising the dearly departed Spectrum in Philadelphia. But ever since, my karma’s been out...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: The Political Scandal of the Decade of the Week!

A few weeks ago, concerned (i.e. nosy, spiteful, possibly dating archnemesis Matt Wardlaw) citizen-journalist Annie Zaleski leaked a letter...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Mayor to Mayor

The mayor of Bootleg City is back! And in case you have no idea who that is, the mayor is me! Thank you, thank you, you’re too kind....

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Louis Armstrong & His All Stars, 5/8/54

Hello, denizens of Bootleg City! Mayor Cass here, and I’m happy to announce that I’m finally back! … starting next week....

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Ride in Cambridge, March ’91

Last week in Bootleg City, it was discovered that Mayor Cass had gone missing after what appeared to be a New Year’s Eve celebration in...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: The House of Love in Amsterdam, April ’90

The mayor’s office in Bootleg City was completely dark as I cracked open the door. “Thank God,” I thought to myself. I had...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Ben Folds Five in New York City, March ’96

Another new year quietly began this morning, and as I cleared the snow off of my porch here in Bootleg City, I was feeling quite...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: The Cars in Houston, September ’84

Back in the mid- to late ’80s, before Bob Marley, David Byrne, and I had even met the eventual mayor of Bootleg City, otherwise...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Bruce Springsteen & the Max Weinberg 7 in Asbury Park, Christmas ’03

Six years ago I was fed up with the state of affairs in Bootleg City, but determined to do something about it. A small group of Bootleg...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Elastica in Europe, 1994-’95

Greetings, citizens of Bootleg City. It’s an honor being the first female interim mayor of this fair ‘burg. But perhaps you’re...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Peter Gabriel in Philadelphia, July ’87

OK, I have to tell you a story. The other day I was sleeping off my annual four-day Thanksgiving bender when my phone rang at the crack of...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Manfred Mann’s Earth Band in Philadelphia, October ’76

When I was a wee mountain man growing up in southern Connecticut, just outside New York City, I quickly learned that everything from...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: The Cranberries in Munich, October ’94

Hey, the head man is out of town! This is such a freakin’ good idea. See, when our “public servants” walk into office...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Night Ranger in Los Angeles, September ’85

This holiday season will offer you 7 Wishes. But what will you wish for first? Will it be the Jack Blades posable action figure? Dressed...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: James Brown, 11/27/87

We did it! More specifically and much less modestly, I did it — I won Tuesday’s election! My victory even got some coverage...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Yes in Edmonton, September ’84

Wow! People are really fired up about this Tuesday’s election in Bootleg City! As mayor, it warms my heart to see such civic pride...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Bad Company in Orlando, May ’99

The mayoral election is only 11 days away, and if the endless online chatter here in Bootleg City is any indication, voter turnout is sure...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Motörhead in Sweden, November ’00

I believe the children are our future. I also believe my future in politics would’ve been cut tragically short on November 3 if...

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Bootleg City, Music

Bootleg City: Jethro Tull, 11/25/87

As election day approaches, it’s important for a political candidate like myself to line up celebrity endorsements. One of my...