It’s the second week of artists whose names begin with the letter S, as we continue to look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the 1980s.

John Schneider
“Still” — 1981, #69 (download)
“Dreamin’” — 1982, #45 (download)
“In the Driver’s Seat” — 1982, #72 (download)

Well, you probably know how much I’d really like to rip into Bo Duke, but for the most part I can’t. However, this man’s man from Hazzard County came right out of the musical gate pretty limp. If he wanted to do country music, that’s fine. A song like “In the Driver’s Seat” is actually kind of good. But “Still” is terrible, terrible adult contemporary crap. But, his music career was certainly targeted towards women who thought he was dreamy so I guess I understand why he went to the softer gentler side. If nothing else, most of his music was better than the self-titled debut from Luke Duke (Tom Wopat, 1982).

Eddie Schwartz
“Over the Line” — 1982, #91 (download)

Eddie Schwartz released three albums in the 80s and a half-dozen or so singles with minimal success. He had more success writing for others as he wrote or co-wrote Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with Your Best Shot’ as well as the Doobie Brothers’ “The Doctor” and Paul Carrack’s “Don’t Shed a Tear.” All three are much better than “Over the Line.”

Scorpions
“No One Like You” — 1982, #65 (download)
“Still Loving You” — 1984, #64 (download)
“Rhythm of Love” — 1988, #75 (download)

Scorpions were once a pretty bad ass group. The band’s albums these days are hit and miss between pretty rockin’ and “yeah great, Grandpa,” but in the ’70s and ’80s Klaus Meine and company could hold their own with the best of them. Both their 1982 release Blackout and ’84s Love at First Sting are great balls to the wall records of course led by “Rock You Like a Hurricane.” Even “Rhythm of Love” is a kick-ass tune off their less edgy Savage Amusement album.

Of course what makes the Scorpions great are their albums covers with some form of a boob exposed (ten-year-old girl not counting here) or some kind of sexual reference. But that stopped with the Crazy World album in 1990 and so did their string of making really good records.

Scritti Politti
“Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)” — 1986, #91 (download)
“Boom! There She Was” — 1988, #53 (download)

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant group led by Green Gartside, who wrote really great, clever lyrics and some of the most pure pop melodies of the decade. Cupid and Psyche ‘85 is a must own for any ’80s fan and checks in at #49 on my Top 80 Albums of the ’80s list. Their biggest hit, “Perfect Way,” is a flawless pop song and ranks as the 13th best song of the decade, according to me. “Wood Beez” is from that album and “Boom! There She Was” was on the excellent follow-up, Provision, and featured Roger Troutman. Unfortunately, Scritti Politti never really had a chance to be huge as Gartside has a severe case of stage fright and anxiety and thus never really toured. Total shame, as even when he started releasing music again with 1999’s Anomie and Bonhomie, it was awesome as expected.

Dan Seals
“Late at Night” — 1980, #57 (download)
“Bop” — 1986, #42 (download)

“I wanna bop with you baby / All night long / I wanna be-bop with you baby / ‘Til the break of dawn.” God, I’m going to have this in my head for weeks, which is what always happens when I hear England Dan’s “Bop.” There’s something about the song that just gets me dancin’. Thankfully, I usually only hear it in the confines of my own home as no ladies would be boppin’ with me after watching me grooving to this.

Secret Ties
“Dancing in My Sleep” — 1986, #91 (download)

If we were voting on songs that sounded the least like they belonged in the year they were released, this one would be right at the top. There’s quite a few copies of the 12″ floating around out there now but I remember this being tough to find a few years ago while I was looking for it. I had to double check my charts three times to be sure it said 1986 on this. This screams way out of touch like nothing else, as I surely would have expected this to be around ‘80 or ‘81, popular with a group like Lipps, Inc.

Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
“Horizontal Bop” — 1980, #42 (download)
“Feel Like a Number” — 1981, #48 (download)
“Old Time Rock and Roll” — 1983, #48 (download)
“It’s You” — 1986, #52 (download)
“Miami” — 1986, #70 (download)

I hate Bob Seger. Or I think I hate Bob Seger. I’m not really sure. Maybe I just hate the radio hits because I absolutely turn the channel every time he comes on the radio. But the songs that aren’t on the radio I’m at least partially okay with. I mean, I’m not at all into sappy crap like “It’s You” or “Miami” but songs like “You’ll Accomp’ny Me” or “Shakedown” I’ll listen to. Even “Horizontal Bop” isn’t terrible.

“Old Time Rock and Roll” (one of those that I refuse to listen to any longer) shows up here because it was rereleased after being featured in Risky Business. But even the original release in 1979 only went to #28.

A while back our leader wrote about the rock ‘n’ roll unemployment line, and strangely enough, two of the three people he interviewed worked for Bob Seger at some point.

Taja Sevelle
“Love Is Contagious” — 1987, #62 (download)

Jill Jones, the Family, Mazarati, Good Question, Tony LeMans, Tamar, Taja Sevelle; all artists that Prince took under his wing and killed any chance of a career that they might have had. It’s really a shame how good Prince is as an artist, but so poor in artist development. Yet for some reason, even today we still get singers like Bria Valente buying into it and signing with him to release music. Not all of his artists were bad, just given the wrong music and promoted poorly. Taja Sevelle is somewhere in the middle. Her CD, Love Is Contagious, was a very average pop-R&B mix and the single you hear above has a definite Prince influence to it. I just don’t think Prince realized that most artists don’t have the ability to pull off what he does and never really presented the best tracks to the majority of his artists. In order to really be a hit, you had to have a ton of talent coming into the partnership (Sheila E., Tevin Campbell, Morris Day and the motherfuckin’ Time!).

Sevelle’s website claims she’s written songs with the likes of Burt Bacharach, Nile Rodgers (who hasn’t?), and some hip-hop writers. It also claims rave reviews for her 1998 album Toys of Vanity (hey, wasn’t Vanity another Prince girl?). However it doesn’t say what songs and doesn’t give quotes from any of those rave reviews, which screams out B.S.

707
“I Could Be Good for You” — 1980, #52 (download)
“Mega Force” — 1982, #62 (download)

I could be way off base, but naming your band just a number is stupid. It’s not like these artists had to worry about internet searches back then, but we’ve even debated in this column before if something like this should come under S for “SevenOhSeven” or before the letters, so stores could put this album in many places. I know I’m thinking way too far into this, but it just seems confusing and unmemorable to me. 707 is certainly closer to being okay than other groups like 3 and 9.9 but still silly. Musically they were just okay. “I Could Be Good For You” is really nothing special but the switch to more of an arena rock sound for “Mega Force” turned out solid.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Scritti Politti, “Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)”
Worst song: John Schneider, “Still”

TOP 40 ONLY
Neil Sedaka (1), Seduction (2), Michael Sembello (2)

Next week I make your day with one of the all-time worst attempts at fitting in.

So I’ve been mentioning this to my wife, and I’m going to mention it here: lately on Popdose, and for all of eternity on the majority of sites that share opinions, there’s been a ton of the “What have you done for me lately?” comments if someone doesn’t talk fondly about something.

It rarely happens at Bottom Feeders, but I attribute that to the fact that even though I rag on various artists, this series is less about writing and more about entertaining. Well, that and the fact that there aren’t quite as many fanatical fans of bands who only had one hit a quarter-century ago.

All over the place, though, when a a piece of media is reviewed by someone and their opinion differs from the fanatic’s point of view, all of a sudden it’s a jealousy thing. I’ve never been able to figure out the “Are you jealous because you can’t sing as well?” comments. If I’m saying an artist sucks, why would I be jealous of them? If I was jealous at all, wouldn’t I be jealous of the artists who are my favorites? I hate Nickelback with a white-hot fury, but that’s not because I’m jealous that they have money and fame and I don’t.

A comment under last week’s You Again? column from Jeff Giles was a great example. Now, I believe the message was directed toward another commenter, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. The comment was:

To you living room “rock gods” out there who think you are so wonderful and so talented, really? What have you written lately? Are you making a living at your “rock god-ness” or just someone who is jealous and can’t get past playing for your friends dreaming that you’re a superstar?

I just can’t fathom how this is, or ever has been, a legit argument. There’s this growing belief, I guess, that people can’t have opinions. I’ve always been the type of writer who enjoys reading other people’s thoughts, and I’m well aware that my readers aren’t going to agree with me a lot. But then they’ll recommend a song or a group to me, just like in the last few weeks with our Big Star and R.E.M. chats.

Give me a constructive reason why I’m wrong, but I just can’t grasp the reasoning behind “They are so much more talented than you” as a legit retaliation. As I said, it rarely happens here, which is cool, but you can go to hundreds of sites and see the same logic applied to any number of items. It’s bugging me more now than it ever has. (The ulterior motive for linking to You Again? is of course to point out that Winger has a new record. If you’re a fan of this series, then a new Winger record should at least be on your radar.)

Now that my venting’s out of the way, how ’bout we begin our journey through artists whose names begin with the letter S, as we continue counting down every song that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the 1980s. We’re going to be here for a while, so sit back, relax, and enjoy, but remember — if you fail to enjoy the Sa-Fire songs below, you’re just jealous that she had 15 minutes of fame and you didn’t.

Sad Cafe
“La-Di-Da” — 1981, #78 (download)

Most of my enjoyment of this track comes from the smooth vocals of Paul Young, who had one of the best voices of the decade (and so does the other Paul Young). Sad Cafe called it quits the first time in 1981 after releasing two studio records and a live recording in the decade. This is off their self-titled 1980 release. They got back together briefly in 1985 to release Politics of Existing and a final album in 1989 while Paul Young was juggling time here and with Mike + the Mechanics.

Sade
“Your Love Is King” — 1985, #54 (download)

Sade is killer. Here’s a major exception to my general rule. There was a time when I regularly pulled out Sade records and popped them on the turntable. That time was when I was trying to get a lady in my bed. No doubt Sade’s catalog is almost the perfect music to play while snuggling on the couch with a bottle of red wine. If you’re working with 1994’s Best of Sade, by the time “The Sweetest Taboo” comes on, her hand will be sliding down to your nether regions, no doubt. Just make sure that when you make it to bedroom that you don’t have Ginuwine’s “Pony” ready for her. Completely different vibe, man. What? No, that’s never happened to me.

Sa-Fire
“Boy, I’ve Been Told” — 1988, #48 (download)
“Gonna Make It” — 1989, #78 (download)
“I Will Survive” — 1989, #53 (download)

You know, hearing Sa-Fire here is kind of refreshing. The letter R was filled with material from the early ’80s, so to get some freestyle in the mix is a nice change of pace. Her self-titled debut was hit or miss though. The singles (”Boy, I’ve Been Told,” “Thinking of You,” “Gonna Make It,” “Let Me Be the One”) are decent tracks, but the rest of the material is pretty weak, although fans of Latin Freestyle did seem to like the record. I’d like to say that with better material, she’d have been bigger, but “I Will Survive” is better material and her cover of it — created for the Meryl Streep-Roseanne Barr nonstarter She-Devil – is kind of pathetic.

Saga
“Wind Him Up” — 1983, #64 (download)
“The Flyer” — 1983, #79 (download)

A Canadian prog-rock band, Saga released three albums before getting hits in the US off their fourth, Worlds Apart. The thing I remember about Saga is that all of those four records had chapters, part of an sixteen track song-cycle with two chapters appearing on each record. The story was about a young Albert Einstein (I don’t believe Yahoo Serious ever came calling) with the interesting part being that the chapters did not appear in order over the course of the records. However, after getting their first real taste of success, the last eight chapters didn’t show up (all 16 were performed in concert and released in 2005)

Both the songs here have nothing to do with the cycle but are pretty damn good in their own right. “Wind Him Up” being from Worlds Apart and “The Flyer” from their follow up Heads Or Tails.

Santana
“The Sensitive Kind” — 1981, #56 (download)
“Nowhere to Run” — 1982, #66 (download)
“Say It Again” — 1985, #46 (download)

Have me shut down the Internet and 30 minutes from now ask me to name one Santana song from the ’80s. Even after writing this up and probably reading this again very close to right now, I doubt I could do it. Once the ’80s rolled around and his music had more of a straightforward pop-rock flair to it, Carlos Santana became just another guitarist to me. None of these three songs are terrible, but there’s nothing remotely interesting about them either.

Saraya
“Love Has Taken Its Toll” — 1989, #64 (download)
“Back to the Bullet” — 1989, #63 (download)

Saraya got into the hair metal game a little late and didn’t change quick enough with the times so we only got two albums out of them. They weren’t a bad little group and had potential, if even just for the fact that this was a female-fronted hair metal band where the woman wasn’t selling sex at the same time. Or maybe the lack of lingerie and guitar stroking from Sandi Saraya was the reason they didn’t catch on. Either way, the lack of anything major out of them put their debut disc out of print and it turned out to be a very tough CD for me to locate for my collection.

Savoy Brown
“Run to Me” — 1981, #68 (download)

So my question for you, is would I know anything else by Savoy Brown? A buddy of mine that’s into ’70s music saw me listening to this song while writing and mentioned that Savoy Brown was “huge in the ’70s,” which sounds a little funky to me since this is only their third song to chart despite releasing albums since 1967. And this song kind of stinks, so it’s not giving me any indication of why they were so “huge.”

Scandal
“Goodbye to You” — 1982, #65 (download)
“Love’s Got a Line on You” — 1983, #59 (download)
“Hands Tied” — 1984, #41 (download)
“Beat of a Heart” — 1985, #41 (download)

It’s a real shame that internal strife forced Scandal to dissolve over time as their one full length and one EP are excellent. Along with “The Warrior,” Scandal (featuring Patty Smyth) had five excellent hits with their last two songs hitting a wall just below the top 40. I think Scandal could have been one of the biggest groups of the decade if they had stayed together.

Joey Scarbury
“When She Dances” — 1981, #49 (download)

Who knew? It’s gotta be hard to follow up the success of one of the greatest theme songs of all time, “Theme From Greatest American Hero (Believe It or Not),” with a straight adult-contemporary song. And seriously, when that’s your first hit where do you go from there? But I’m sure it’s still paying him to this day and without it he probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere. However, his only album, America’s Greatest Hero, was actually good and maybe should have found that Christopher Cross market.

Peter Schilling
“The Different Story (World of Lust and Crime)” — 1989, #61 (download)

I’m always fascinated by artists like Peter Schilling whose primary language is not English but get their lyrics translated/rewritten for them to try to break in the U.S. His German-language album, Fehler im System, was released in 1982 and then rewritten in English and released a year later in the U.S. It included his biggest hit, “Major Tom (Coming Home),” which used the Major Tom character introduced by David Bowie in 1969 in “Space Oddity.”

Two years later he released a second English record (Things to Come) that didn’t go anywhere and in 1989 released his third and final English record. The only new track on it was the title track “The Different Story.” The rest was culled from his previous two English records. The three years too late Depeche Mode sound was created with the help of Michael Cretu of Enigma. Released six years after “Major Tom,” his U.S. hit trajectory was a little wacked. (I was listening to the track, making sure it streamed correctly, and my wife said to me, “What’s this shit? Sounds like some cheesy theme song, like Mannequin or something.”)

Timothy B. Schmit
“So Much in Love” — 1982, #59 (download)

Not fuckin’ necessary, Timmy boy. Even the All-4-One version is better than this. Yes, that’s what I said — I prefer something from All-4-One. “So Much in Love” is a dead spot on the otherwise excellent Fast Times at Ridgemont High soundtrack.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Sade, “Your Love Is King”
Worst song: Timothy B. Schmit, “So Much in Love”

TOP 40 ONLY
Carole Bayer Sager (1), Salt-N-Pepa (1), Leo Sayer (2), Boz Scaggs (5), Scarlett & Black (1)

Next week, a superstar I just can’t listen to, and an underrated group I wish I could listen to all the time.

In the ongoing continuing education of Steed, I recently listened to both #1 Record (1972) and Third/Sister Lovers (1978) by Big Star. My overall general assessment is that it’s just not my thing.

I get the draw of the first album, and I completely understand how Big Star and Alex Chilton influenced so many bands. “Feel” and “Don’t Lie to Me” are great songs — there’s no way I couldn’t like them. But despite not wanting to rip it out of my deck, I can’t see a point where I would ever pick #1 Record up again.

I couldn’t get into Third/Sister Lovers at all, though. I was expecting a jangly pop record, but it’s mostly ballads. Way too slow for my tastes, and just a turn I guess I wasn’t expecting after the band’s poppy debut. However, what I did get from Third was how ahead of their time Big Star really were. I can appreciate that fact, at least.

There’s one artist in particular who kept popping into my head throughout my numerous listens: Matthew Sweet. I don’t think I’m far off in saying that he was definitely influenced by Big Star, correct?

Anyway, thanks for the recommendations. If nothing else, I always enjoy listening to music that other people are fanatical about.

Now enjoy the last of artists whose names begin with the letter R, as we continue to look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the ’80s.

Diana Ross
“One More Chance” — 1981, #79 (download)
“Work That Body” — 1982, #44 (download)
“Let’s Go Up” — 1983, #77 (download)
“Eaten Alive” — 1985, #77 (download)
“Chain Reaction” — 1985, #95 (and 1986, #66) (download)

I’m definitely a fan of early Diana Ross, but much of her later stuff feels like filler to me. However, for the purpose of this series, that’s pretty much reversed. “One More Chance,” the lame workout song “Work That Body,” and “Let’s Go Up” don’t hold up compared to “Eaten Alive,” which was written by and performed on by both the Bee Gees and Michael Jackson (one wonders why this wasn’t a much bigger hit), or “Chain Reaction,” also written and performed on by the brothers Gibb.

You see two listings for “Chain Reaction” here: The album version was released in 1985. She then performed it on the American Music Awards in a different form, and that version got released in 1986. Sorry, but I don’t have an MP3 of the later version for you. If anyone does, I’ll be happy to upload it and love you forever (or a little while).

Rossington-Collins Band
“Don’t Misunderstand Me” — 1980, #55 (download)

Gary Rossington and Allen Collins, both guitarists in Lynyrd Skynyrd, formed this band in 1979 after recuperating from their injuries suffered in the plane crash that killed most of their former bandmates. “Don’t Misunderstand Me” was the only charting single from their debut, Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere.

David Lee Roth
“Goin’ Crazy!” — 1986, #66 (download)
“That’s Life” — 1986, #85 (download)
“Stand Up” — 1988, #64 (download)

“Goin’ Crazy!” is a good track to lead off David Lee Roth’s section here. I mean, the guy is a nut job. But he’s one heck of a showman and one heck of a singer. I’m surprised I even dig stuff like his cover of Sinatra’s “That’s Life,” but a song like that just fits Diamond Dave’s persona so well. “Stand Up” is a track that I’m not too thrilled with, though. The chorus is pretty catchy but the rest of the song is boring. The subdued vocals in the verses just don’t fit him very well. Why the hell would you want to subdue those pipes? However, it does have a crazy Steve Vai solo in it.

Rough Trade
“All Touch” — 1982, #58 (download)

In a slew of semi-obscure bands in this series, Rough Trade and “All Touch” stand out to me as things that should have been bigger. They had a half dozen hits in Canada in the decade, but this was the only track to cross over onto the U.S. charts. They were known mostly for their lyrics about sex and lesbianism and singer Carole Pope’s tendency to wear bondage gear while performing. Probably kind of shocking back in 1982, but I’d bet pretty tame these days. Pope’s voice and delivery, combined with the look, always makes me think of Grace Jones.

Roxanne
“Play That Funky Music” — 1988, #63 (download)

There’s just nothing right about this at all. Checking in at #29 on my Bottom 80 Songs of the ’80s list this may be the least funky version of this song I’ve ever heard and that includes the Chipmunks take on it. The whole thing is just extremely cheesy from start to finish. The shame of it was that Roxanne (terrible name for a bunch of dudes) wasn’t half bad. Their debut record of hair metal wasn’t exactly going to blow the doors off the world, but it sounds nothing like this junk, which someone thought was just good enough to bury as the last track on the record. This is the perfect example of how to kill a career before it gets started. Shitty band name with a debut single that’s a shitty cover not representing the band’s sound at all.

Roxy Music
“Over You” — 1980, #80 (download)

I’m ashamed to say it, but I don’t know a whole lot from Roxy Music. I guess that’s what happens when you block out everything from the middle of 1979 on back. In 2007 I went to a flea market and picked up my first copy of their final album, 1982’s Avalon, and I mentioned to the seller I was an ’80s collector but had never heard the record and he dismissed me like some back-alley hooker. It took that to at least get me to give a good solid listen to that record and Flesh + Blood, on which “Over You” appears.

Rubber Rodeo
“Anywhere With You” — 1984, #86 (download)

Funny, Wikipedia says this group is Roxy Music influenced. Small world.

“Anywhere With You” is somewhere between Blondie and Missing Persons for me and although this track is very cool, it’s easy to see why they weren’t a big hit, as it doesn’t represent them as a group all that well. They were almost like country new-wave and I’ve never really met anyone that wanted their new-wave and country mixed together.

Todd Rundgren
“Bang the Drum All Day” — 1983, #63 (download)

Here’s a song that needs no introduction (so I’m not going to talk about it — if it needs no introduction, then it won’t get one).

Run-D.M.C.
“It’s Tricky” — 1987, #57 (download)
“Mary, Mary” — 1988, #75 (download)

There might not be another song that explains why Run-D.M.C. are the shit better than “It’s Tricky.” “It’s tricky to rock a rhyme / To rock a rhyme that’s right on time / It’s tricky,” and sonuvabitch if that rhyme ain’t right on time. It’s hard to imagine where the rap game would have gone without Run-D.M.C. on the map.

Rush
“The Spirit of Radio” — 1980, #51 (download)
“Limelight” — 1981, #55 (download)
“Tom Sawyer” — 1981, #44 (download)
“Closer to the Heart (Live)” — 1981, #69 (download)
“The Big Money” — 1985, #45 (download)

I’ve never been a Rush follower, but I understand the appeal to fans. Therefore, I asked Chris — my boss at my day job — to chime in since he’s a humongous fan. Here’s what he had to say:

“When Rush was putting out its early catalogue in the mid-70s, you could divide most people into two camps: those who worshipped their heavy take on prog rock, with its intricate instrumental work and Neil Peart’s sci-fi, Ayn Rand and marijuana-inspired lyrics and others whose primary reaction to them was ‘What is that awful racket coming out of that gargoyle’s mouth?’

“Anyway, that’s what I thought of Geddy Lee back when my older brother bought his first copy of 2112, so suffice it to say it took me a few more years to get Rush. Starting with the original studio release of ‘Closer to the Heart’ in 1977, they took a decided step toward the mainstream, and made an increasing effort to tone down ol’ Geddy’s screeches and include some shorter, more accessible tracks on each of their records.

“By the time ‘Tom Sawyer’ hit the charts four years and three albums later, I and a lot of the kids I knew were hooked (although I guess we were still a little out of place among all of our cohorts wearing one sparkly glove to school dances). Most of these quasi-hits have been staples of rock radio and Rush’s live shows for nearly three decades now, although ‘The Big Money’ and most of the songs from their ’synth’ era have sort of disappeared. They’re a big reason why Rush is still selling a lot more concert tickets and records, new and old, than most of their peers from that era.”

Jennifer Rush
“The Power of Love” — 1986, #57 (download)

There was a time when I wished death on Jennifer Rush for co-writing this track covered later by Laura Branigan (1987) and of course taken to #1 by Celine Dion (1993). But over the years the track has grown on me in all three versions to the point where I actually think Celine’s take is the best of the three. I hope I’m just getting old and not old and soft.

Patrice Rushen
“Haven’t You Heard” — 1980, #42 (download)
“Feels So Real (Won’t Let Go)” — 1984, #78 (download)

Say what you want about Will Smith, but without Men in Black I would have never really known the music of Patrice Rushen. I was familiar with “Forget Me Nots” before he sampled it, but I couldn’t have told you one other thing she did. That song made me go back and take a good listen, at which point I found out that she’s pretty damn talented. She was more of a jazz singer in the mid-’70s before transitioning to disco and funk in the early ’80s and more of a smooth R&B sound by the time ‘82-’83 rolled around. “Forget Me Nots” and “Feels So Real” rival each other for her best track.

Mitch Ryder
“When You Were Mine” — 1983, #87 (download)

Knowing that I normally hate covers that were done in the ’80s and also that Prince is my favorite artist, if I were you I’d figure that I’d rip this since there’s no way I could think this is better than the original. And well, you’d be right that it’s not better than the original, but wrong in the fact that I really think this is a well-done, pretty straight-forward version of it. And there’s definitely the sound of the producer, John Mellencamp, trickling in on this one.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Roxy Music, “Over You”
Worst song: Roxanne, “Play That Funky Music”

TOP 40 ONLY
The Rovers (1); Roxette (4); Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (1); Jimmy Ruffin (1); Brenda Russell (1)

Next week we begin looking at the largest letter of the series.

Hi, this is Popdose senior editor Robert Cass, and you’re listening to Bottom Feeders, a countdown of every song that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the 1980s! And now, back to text jockey Dave Steed and the countdown … which isn’t really a countdown … but I’m not sure what else to call it except “a really long list” … and that’s not sexy at all, now is it? So let’s just stick with “countdown” and get right into the featured songs by artists whose names begin with the letter R.

Li’l bit o’ trivia for you: “My Computer’s Getting Personal,” the minor regional hit I recorded with my old funk group, Robertic Rhythm, juuuust missed the Hot 100 in ‘87, and therefore missed out on being mentioned in last week’s installment of Bottom Feeders. (Remind me not to ask Robert to write an intro in my absence ever again. —DS)

Rodway
“Don’t Stop Trying” — 1982, #83 (download)

I’ve seen this labeled both disco and new wave. I’m not sure I hear the disco, but the new wave is in full force. “Don’t Stop Trying” is from Steve Rodway’s only record, Horizontal Hold. After this, he did very little for the next decade, at which point he really got into producing music under the moniker Motiv8. Apparently his claim to fame is cowriting and producing Gina G.’s “Ooh Ahh … Just a Little Bit” in 1996. Whatever works, I guess.

Roger
“I Heard It Through the Grapevine” — 1981, #79 (download)

Ranking at a whopping #2 on my Bottom 80 Songs of the ’80s list, this fucker is mind-numbing. I know Roger Troutman made his living using the talk box, both on his solo work and with Zapp, but there’s only so much of this the human ear can take. I can’t listen to “Grapevine” at any volume, as my ears literally hurt from the piercing effects of the box. This version is only, like, seven minutes long — the album version tacks on five more repetitive minutes.

Dann Rogers
“Looks Like Love Again” — 1980, #41 (download)

Released in 1979, this crossed over for over a month into 1980. I never really paid much attention to it, or fancy Dann with two Ns, and quick Internet searches don’t yield any good info on him. So if you know something, bring it on.

Kenny Rogers
“Blaze of Glory” — 1981, #66 (download)
“A Love Song” — 1982, #47 (download)
“Scarlet Fever” — 1983, #94 (download)
“Eyes That See in the Dark” — 1984, #79 (download)
“Crazy” — 1985, #79 (download)
“Morning Desire” — 1985, #72 (download)

I do know Kenny Rogers, though. I mean, the man makes some excellent chicken (and, I guess, some good music too). I couldn’t care less if I ever heard another Kenny Rogers song, but the guy has a ton of talent and quite a voice. I prefer the more upbeat songs like “Blaze of Glory” rather than “A Love Song,” though I think I’d argue that the best track of the six here is “Morning Desire” (despite the fact that Kenny is essentially singing about having morning wood). “Eyes That See in the Dark” certainly gets honorable mention, since I love the Bee Gees so much. “Crazy” was cowritten by Richard Marx.

Rolling Stones
“She Was Hot” — 1984, #44 (download)

Only four years after she was so cold, “She Was Hot.” This was the second single from Undercover and the only one of 12 Stones charting singles to not hit the Top 40. This fell in between “Undercover of the Night,” which hit #9, and “Harlem Shuffle,” which went to #5. This is probably a better song than both of them.

Roman Holliday
“Stand By” — 1983, #54 (download)
“Don’t Try to Stop It” — 1983, #68 (download)
“One Foot Back in Your Door” — 1985, #76 (download)

Roman Holliday fascinate me. For one thing, their three charting singles sound so different from each other. “Stand By” is a little swingin’ ditty, “Don’t Try to Stop It” has some “Stray Cat Strut” in it, and “One Foot Back in Your Door” is just a rockin’ pop song. But of course the thing that fascinates me the most is that “One Foot” is totally the basis of “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car” by Billy Ocean, and unless I’m missing it, there was no writing credit or acknowledgement from Billy and his production team at all.

The Romantics
“What I Like About You” — 1980, #49 (download)
“Test of Time” — 1985, #71 (download)

God, even for me, Bottom Feeders is bringing back so many memories. I totally forgot that the Romantics’ biggest hit, “Talking in Your Sleep,” was yet another song my mom played all the time when I was growing up. “What I Like About You,” of course, is a total shocker in this series, but I guess it gets more play now than it did back in the ’80s. The big tragedy is that Michael Morales’s shitty 1989 cover of the song was the highest-charting version of the song. “Test of Time” was from their fifth and final record (before they reunited in 2003), Rhythm Romance. It’s not a terrible song, but it sounds a lot like a very low-budget version of their other Top 40 hit, “One in a Million.”

Romeo’s Daughter
“Don’t Break My Heart” — 1988, #73 (download)

I’m surprised Romeo’s Daughter didn’t have more hits. Their debut was a slick pop record with a rock edge, half of it produced by Mutt Lange and half by John Parr. While the album was pretty solid, if nothing else, this excellent track should have been much bigger.

Ron & the D.C. Crew
“Ronnie’s Rap” — 1987, #93 (download)

I remember picking this up in 1987, yet even after all these years I still know nothing about this superb novelty hit. All I’ve got are the credited names on the record (M. Moseley, A. Hott). It was one of quite a few songs in the ’80s that were either about Ronald Reagan or that featured “him” rapping; they were recorded by the likes of Rich Little, Harry Shearer, Air Force 1, and even Garry Trudeau, the creator of the comic strip Doonesbury.

Linda Ronstadt
“Easy for You to Say” — 1983, #54 (download)
“What’s New” — 1983, #53 (download)

Linda Ronstadt’s career path took a weird turn in the ’80s. Her 1980 album Mad Love is a really solid rock record, 1982’s Get Closer is lighter pop, and then she inexplicably recorded not one, not two, but three records with Nelson Riddle and his Orchestra and then followed those up with an album with Aaron Neville and two Spanish mariachi discs. I know those three pop vocal albums — What’s New (1983), Lush Life (1984), and For Sentimental Reasons (1986) — sold like hotcakes, but they aren’t my thing. And since I just collect ’80s music, I don’t know a whole lot of her ’70s output, from the era when she was dubbed “the queen of rock.” I have to try to think back to songs like “How Do I Make You” or “Get Closer” to erase my memories of the orchestral songs.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Roman Holliday, “One Foot Back in Your Door”
Worst song: Roger, “I Heard It Through the Grapevine”

TOP 40 ONLY
Romeo Void (1)

Next week we’re banging the drum so it’ll play that funky music, white boy.

See, here’s what I like about writing this column. Some weeks I give you a song you haven’t heard or a factoid about a band that you didn’t know. Other weeks you guys give me information I don’t know and turn me on to music that’s missing from my life. Of course that happened last week with the Replacements chatter in the comments.

So far I’ve been able to get to two of their albums. I know you guys recommended I start with Tim (1985), but I haven’t been able to hit that one yet. I have, however, listened to Let It Be (’84) and Pleased to Meet Me (’87), with pleasing results.

I went with Let It Be first and thought it was decent, but it doesn’t flow very well at all. I dug “Favorite Thing” and the cover of Kiss’s “Black Diamond” the most.

Then I moved to Pleased to Meet Me, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The first three tracks — “I.O.U.,” “Alex Chilton,” and “I Don’t Know” — are killer, with the latter being my favorite of the three. Pleased certainly feels more like an album than Let It Be, and based on just those two records I can pretty much tell I’m going to like the major-label-era Replacements the most.

Either way, both records were very much worth my time, and I will listen to Tim soon, so thanks to everyone for the recommendations and for turning me on to a band I never would’ve listened to otherwise. That’s part of what this series is all about.

Here’s our third week of artists whose names begin with the letter R, as we continue to look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the 1980s.

Burt Reynolds
“Let’s Do Something Cheap and Superficial” — 1980, #88 (download)

If this was supposed to be funny then I guess I’m missing the joke. It sounds just like all those other country songs I wish would end quickly. “Let’s Do Something Cheap and Superficial” is from Smokey and the Bandit II.

Cliff Richard
“Give a Little Bit More” — 1981, #41 (download)
“Wired for Sound” — 1981, #71 (download)
“The Only Way Out” — 1982, #64 (download)
“Never Say Die (Give a Little Bit More)” — 1983, #73 (download)

I’m a little surprised that Sir Cliff Richard has never really been on my radar — I like pretty much everything I’ve heard from him. I mean, a song like “Give a Little Bit More” is my type of early-‘80s tune; it’s a catchy little ditty. Heck, so is “Wired for Sound,” “The Only Way Out,” and “Never Say Die.” But what’s this little thing of two tracks being called “Give a Little Bit More” (even if one is parenthetical)? Hell, I think I need to put him on my list of artists to go back and listen to, a list that’s getting way too long.

Turley Richards
“You Might Need Somebody” — 1980, #54 (download)

Turley who? Man, I can almost guarantee that if you’d mentioned the name Turley Richards to me a few years ago, I would’ve told you he didn’t have a hit in my decade. And he might be the only artist to chart in the ’80s who I can say that about, as I’m pretty good at remembering the artists in my collection. I had to look this guy up on Wikipedia to find out that he was another blind artist to have a hit in the ‘80s, though Richards wasn’t blind from birth — he lost sight in his left eye at the age of four in an archery accident, and his vision in his right eye went soon after that. Overall, “You Might Need Somebody” isn’t a bad song at all.

Lionel Richie
“Deep River Woman” — 1987, #71 (download)

Lionel wasn’t used to this happening. He had 13 consecutive top-ten hits to start off his solo career, but “Deep River Woman,” from 1986’s Dancing on the Ceiling, made a bigger dent on the country charts than the pop charts. And that certainly makes sense, because this is definitely a country song (Alabama even plays on it). Richie took a break after the tour for Dancing on the Ceiling and didn’t release another full-length until a decade later.

Rings
“Let Me Go” — 1981, #75 (download)

The Rings were a decent Boston-based band that released two albums, but as far as I can tell, they never really caught on outside the northeast.

Lee Ritenour
“Cross My Heart” — 1982, #69 (download)

Lee Ritenour is a jazz guitarist who kind of went the funky route for this song, his second and final Hot 100 hit.

Rockie Robbins
“You and Me” — 1980, #80 (download)

“You and Me” is kind of rare, as it was Rockie Robbins’s only hit. He released three albums between ’79 and ’81 and then a final one in ‘85 before calling it a career.

Robey
“One Night in Bangkok” — 1985, #77 (download)

I’ve always found this track interesting for a few reasons, the first being that it was released at pretty much the same time as the more popular Murray Head version, yet very few people know it exists. The second is that Robey’s take on “One Night in Bangkok” is considered the “dance version” of the song, but it’s really not all that different from Head’s version. The third reason is that Head’s version was on the Hot 100 for five months — February through July of 1985 — while Robey’s version landed at the beginning of March but only spent three weeks on the chart. So Head’s version of “One Night” was on the Hot 100 before and after Robey’s cover had come and gone. If you like Head’s original, you almost have to like Robey’s as well.

Smokey Robinson
“You Are Forever” — 1981, #59 (download)
“Old Fashioned Love” — 1982, #60 (download)
“Blame It on Love” — 1983, #48 (download)
“What’s Too Much” — 1987, #79 (download)

Although Smokey has never been a favorite of mine, it’s hard to find fault with him, either. He has a pretty spectacular voice and has made some of the best love songs of all time, with and without the Miracles. Even these four bottom feeders are supersmooth, and “You Are Forever” is a sure-fire panty dropper.

Rock and Hyde
“Dirty Water” — 1987, #61 (download)

“Dirty Water” is a really cool song from guys we’ve already talked about in this series: Bob Rock and Paul Hyde. The pair were members of the Payola$, who then changed their name to Paul Hyde & the Payola$, then recorded one album as Rock and Hyde. The thing I remember most about this song, unfortunately, is the terrible video.

The Rockets
“Desire” — 1980, #70 (download)

The Rockets were formed in the early ‘70s by the guitarist and drummer for Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels. Click here for way more info about the Rockets than I could ever tell you.

Rockpile
“Teacher Teacher” — 1980, #51 (download)

I have three different songs on my iPod called “Teacher Teacher”: a lost track from Prince, the .38 Special song from the Teachers soundtrack, and this gem. The only official album by Rockpile, Seconds of Pleasure (1980) checks in at #42 on my Top 80 Albums of the ‘80s list. I say “official” because the same lineup of Dave Edmunds, Nick Lowe, Billy Bremner, and Terry Williams also played on four other records: three Edmunds “solo” LPs (two before and one after the Rockpile release) and Lowe’s 1979 solo album Labour of Lust. “Teacher Teacher” and Seconds of Pleasure are simply wonderful pop records.

Nile Rodgers
“Let’s Go Out Tonight” — 1985, #88 (download)

I don’t know what to make of this track. It doesn’t have the classic Chic sound, and with Rodgers having just come off producing Madonna’s Like a Virgin, it’s pretty much the worst thing Rodgers was doing in the mid-’80s. “Let’s Go Out Tonight” is a pretty horrible track, and yet I think I like it — and I’ve felt this way about it for ages! It has this knack of showing up on my iPod way more than it should, and every time I have the same indifferent look on my face and shrug my shoulders the same way.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Rockpile, “Teacher Teacher”
Worst song: Burt Reynolds, “Let’s Do Something Cheap and Superficial”

TOP 40 ONLY
Restless Heart (1); Cheryl “Pepsii” Riley (1); Roachford (1); Rockwell (2)

Next week, the runner-up for least-favorite song of the decade … and the president of the United States of America!

It’s week number two of the letter R, as we continue to look at the bottom three-fifths of the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.

Leon Redbone
“Seduced” — 1981, #72 (download)

As if there weren’t enough songs in this series that sound like they didn’t belong in the decade, let’s bring some good ‘ol ragtime music into the mix. I’m not necessarily saying it’s a bad song, but radio stations really played this? I mean, really? My God, how the musical climate has changed.

The Reddings
“Remote Control” — 1980, #89 (download)
“(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay” — 1982, #55 (download)

Most artists that are relatives of someone majorly famous seem to try to do anything they can to prove the point they are their own artist and get out of the famous relative’s shadow. But Otis Redding’s sons Dexter and Otis III as well as nephew Mark Lockett seemed to embrace it and work it to their advantage. While Otis is known for his sweet soul sounds, the Reddings brought more funk and disco elements into their songs early in their career. But they weren’t ashamed to cover Otis’s most famous song — “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay” — either. However, even as a group they weren’t nearly as talented as the big man and nothing really propelled them to stardom. They released six albums in the ‘80s, but without the impressive lineage they would really be just another R&B group.

Helen Reddy
“I Can’t Say Goodbye to You” — 1981, #88 (download)

Well, actually Helen did sort of say “Goodbye” to us, as this was her 21st and last charting song. I wish her well, and I hope I never ever hear from her again.

Red Rider
“White Hot” — 1980, #48 (download)
“Young Thing, Wild Dreams (Rock Me)” — 1984, #71 (download)

Red Rider falls into the category of groups that I need to go back and delve deeper into. I’m one of those strange birds that thinks Tom Cochrane’s first solo record Mad Mad World is still excellent and doesn’t mind hearing “Life is a Highway” over and over so I did go back and pay a little attention to his group Red Rider, though not very seriously. All the singles are very good, though: “White Hot” and “Young Dreams” as well as “Human Race” and their most well-known song, “Lunatic Fringe,” which only hit the rock charts. I have to go back and listen to full albums, but based on the singles it really seems like the U.S. missed out on a gem by not paying attention to Red Rider.

Red Rockers
“China” — 1983, #53 (download)

Ted Asregadoo wrote up Red Rockers not that long ago during a 415 Records Mix Six and he’s right on the money when he points out that “China” doesn’t sound like the rest of the album Good as Gold, which goes a long way to explain why these guys never had another hit. However, I’d venture I like this song a bit more than he does.

Jerry Reed
“She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)” — 1982, #57 (download)

You’re probably going to be shocked to hear this, but I’ll take this song any day of the week. There’s just something I still find quite funny about it and it’s such a well done song that never seems to get old. It just missed being in my Top 80 of the ‘80s list.

Re-Flex
“Hurt” — 1984, #82 (download)

The group Re-Flex totally gets lost in my circle even to this day. I have to believe I’m not the only person in the world that has had someone in their life completely mistake who Re-Flex is. I mean, I’ve had so many conversations asking something like “do you remember the group Re-Flex?” only to have people come back and talk about Frankie Goes To Hollywood (No, that was “Relax”) or Duran Duran (No, that was the song “The Reflex”). Unfortunately, Re-Flex was a hit the same time as Frankie and the Duran Duran track so in my world they kind of got lost in the shuffle. And I don’t know a single person outside of collectors and ‘80s freaks that can tell you the group that did “The Politics of Dancing” thought they all know the song. It’s a shame too as that song is very good, but “Hurt” is a gem. These guys actually released four more singles from their debut and only record The Politics of Dancing. It’s definitely worth tracking down and giving a spin or two if you’ve never heard it – synthpop at its finest.

R.E.M.
“Radio Free Europe” — 1983, #78 (download)
“So. Central Rain (I’m Sorry)” — 1984, #85 (download)
“Fall on Me” — 1986, #94 (download)
“It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” — 1988, #69 (download)
“Pop Song 89” — 1989, #86 (download)

R.E.M. own the distinction of being the first band to get removed from my “must have” list. I’m a completist, so if I find a band I really love, I get every album first day, no matter what. Prince, Nine Inch Nails, Neil Young, all on that list. R.E.M. was on that list for many years as I used to be a big fan, in fact I have Document ranked #6 on my top 80 albums of the ‘80s list and I’m one of those bastards that think Monster is a brilliant record. But alas, 2004 rolled around and I got my third consecutive snoozer in a row – Around the Sun (2004), which followed Reveal (2001) and Up (1998) — and I decided I no longer cared. But it’s hard not to care about the groundbreaking “Radio Free Europe” or the simply beautiful “Fall on Me.”

It’s kind of funny to think that Top 40 radio didn’t really play “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” I suppose, as I remember seeing it every hour growing up. But maybe that’s just it — I saw it — so it was a bigger hit on MTV than on the radio.

“Pop Song 89” is a weird one for me because I see the name on paper and I think it’s a bit of a throwaway, but then I listen to it and love it. Hell, now I’m going to go and listen to Monster again. Love it with me, won’t you?

Rene & Angela
“I’ll Be Good” — 1985, #47 (download)
“Your Smile” — 1986, #62 (download)
“You Don’t Have to Cry” — 1986, #75 (download)

Rene Moore and Angela Winbush were a songwriting team that formed a group, got married, released a few records, broke up and then went their own way. Moore focused more on producing and writing while Winbush released quite a few successful records in the world of R&B.

REO Speedwagon
“Time for Me to Fly” — 1980, #77 (download)
“Variety Tonight” — 1987, #60 (download)

There are artists I don’t get and there are artists I hate. I detest REO Speedwagon mainly for being so douchey. I can’t think of a better example of a major rock band with so little balls in their songs. And yet, millions bought into them to the tune of 15 Hot 100 hits in the decade, 13 of them hitting the Top 40. I guess I should be happy with only two songs here, or I wouldn’t be able to just gloss over them and move on.

The Replacements
“I’ll Be You” — 1989, #51 (download)

Here’s another artist you clearly are going to school me on, and I’m going to let you. I really know nothing about the Replacements at all. I know I should, but I’ve never had the desire to go and learn. I love “I’ll Be You,” but I’m going to bet it’s unlike the rest of their catalog, because if they’d had more songs this pop oriented, I would’ve expected them to be more than a cult favorite.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Jerry Reed, “She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)”
Worst song: Helen Reddy, “I Can’t Say Goodbye to You”

TOP 40 ONLY
Ready for the World (3); Real Life (3); Dan Reed Network (1); Regina (1); Mike Reno (1)

Next week we get all chic over in Bangkok when we hear more songs from artists whose names begin with the letter R.

At first, on paper, this week didn’t seem like much. But as I was writing it up, I found myself groovin’ pretty hard to the tracks — it sneaks up on you just a bit, but is thoroughly enjoyable. See if you agree as we take a look at another set of songs that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.

Eddie Rabbitt
“Gone Too Far” — 1980, #82 (download)
“You Can’t Run From Love” — 1983, #55 (download)
“You Put the Beat in My Heart” — 1983, #81 (download)

I know many of you have had your memory jogged by something in this series and I’m happy that same thing happens for me every now and then as well. I’ve often said how my mother had some 45s, but I only remember a few of them, and then I hit another artist in the series that completely takes me back to the ‘80s and my mom’s 45 crate. Eddie Rabbitt is one of those artists. My God, how could I forget the constant spinning of “I Love a Rainy Night” — almost a perfect pop song? I remember the red Elektra label spinning on that record player with the bright yellow adapter you had to put in the hole of the record just perfectly so it would fit snugly on the player. There’s a nice vivid picture of me sitting on my grandparents’ floor listening to this over and over in my head right now and I usually don’t remember anything. See, this is what music does to me. So thank you, Eddie Rabbitt. Unfortunately, none of these three songs even come close to “Rainy Night.”

Gerry Rafferty
“The Royal Mile (Sweet Darlin’)” — 1980, #54 (download)

This is a strange week for me, as I also have vivid memories associated with Gerry Rafferty. His 1978 hit “Right Down the Line” is another brilliant pop record that my mother spun with me. In fact, I’d almost bet many times it was directly before or after “I Love a Rainy Night.” And I don’t know if it’s because it’s in every dollar bin or from my mom, but the cover to his album City to City sticks in my mind as well. I don’t however ever remember hearing “The Royal Mile”; I think my mom was pretty broke raising me, so she didn’t have the money for too much music, so maybe this never made its way into my house. Shame too, because I’m diggin’ it a lot right now.

Rainbow
“Since You’ve Been Gone” — 1979, #57 (download)
“Street of Dreams” — 1983, #60 (download)

Rainbow doesn’t bring back any memories, however I’ve been working my way up to really giving them a chance. I’ve been listening to a lot of Ronnie James Dio’s work lately, so I want to go back and give his Rainbow-era records a shot. I’ve also worked back through the Alcatrazz catalog, so “Since You’ve Been Gone” has been on my radar recently, as it was on their Down to Earth record, the only one featuring Alcatrazz singer Graham Bonnet on vocals. C’mon, I mean, Richie Blackmore, Graham Bonnet, Cozy Powell and Roger Glover – I think I just jizzed in my pants. “Since You’ve Been Gone” is ridiculously good (and just barely crossed over into the ‘80s to make this series). Joe Lynn Turner’s the voice on “Street of Dreams” and he’s not a bad vocalist, but he doesn’t have the grit of Bonnet. Bonnet’s pure rock ‘n’ roll. Turner’s a bit too pop for me.

Bonnie Raitt
“You’re Gonna Get What’s Coming” — 1979, #73 (download)

For the most part these days, I feel old. But then when I think about someone like Bonnie Raitt, I realize that I’m still a relative youngster in this crowd. I’m going to assume that most young men and women that had their teenage years in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s like myself were introduced to Raitt by her 1989 record Nick of Time or even more by the outstanding Luck of the Draw (1991), which featured the smash “Something to Talk About.” I was one of those introduced via that song, so imagine how astounded I was when I started this collection and found out that was her 11th album! This lady having her first major hit had been releasing albums for 20 years before I knew her name. I don’t know anything of her ‘70s output, but her ‘80s stuff is really good. I’d give 1982’s Green Light another spin without question. And of course I love this track, as it was written and recorded by Robert Palmer just a year earlier. This eked into the ‘80s, spending time on the charts in the first two weeks of the decade.

Kevin Raleigh
“Moonlight on Water” — 1989, #60 (download)

Kevin Raleigh had a decent musical career as the keyboardist in the Michael Stanley Band, but his solo career never went anywhere. As far as I know he only recorded one solo record in 1989 and then decided to become an artist manager instead. “Moonlight on Water” would appear on the charts again just a year later when Laura Branigan cranked up the dance beat and wiggled it up one spot higher than Kevin took it.

Billy Rankin
“Baby Come Back” — 1984, #52 (download)

This is a flat out rockin’ song from Rankin, who was the guitarist for Nazareth from 1980-1983. I believe his solo record Growin’ Up Too Fast was the only one released in the States, though he recorded another one released in Japan a year or two later. He rejoined and left Nazareth again in the early ‘90s.

Ratt
“Wanted Man” — 1984, #87 (download)
“You’re in Love” — 1985, #89 (download)
“Dance” — 1987, #59 (download)
“Way Cool Jr.” — 1989, #75 (download)

I didn’t really appreciate what Ratt brought to the table until about 2007 or so. They got lumped into the glam metal scene and while that wasn’t completely fair, it wasn’t completely ludicrous either. But Stephen Pearcy and Warren DeMartini had a bit more substance to them than say, Poison. Well, okay — maybe just a tad bit more, but I get a party feeling listening to Poison and more of a rockin’ out feelin’ with Ratt. Back in 2007 I went back and listened to the catalog and realized that Out of the Cellar (1984) is flat-out awesome and Invasion of Your Privacy and ‘86s Dancing Undercover are pretty solid on their own. It was then that I starting hearing more of a Van Halen influence meshing with that glam. Unfortunately even today, these guys don’t get the respect I think they deserved. I for one, will be buying the new record I hear is coming out in 2010!

Lou Rawls
“You’re My Blessing” — 1980, #77 (download)
“Wind Beneath My Wings” — 1983, #65 (download)

Lou Rawls certainly breaks up the rockin’ tone of this post, doesn’t he? I’ve always been a fan of “You’re My Blessing” but Lou ain’t my bag. He’s not an ‘80s artist, despite two charting songs in the decade. These were the 17th and 18th Hot 100 hits of his career — and his final two. It’s a shame his last track on the charts is of a song that’s been whored out to every adult contemporary artist on the planet.

Ray, Goodman & Brown
“Inside of You” — 1980, #76 (download)
“My Prayer” — 1980, #47 (download)

Just like Sweet Lou, Ray, Goodman & Brown (aka the Moments) really aren’t my decade either. They had a ton of R&B hits as the Moments until they signed with Polydor Records in 1979 and a legal dispute forced them to change their name. They had three tunes hit the Hot 100 and four more on the R&B charts in the decade. It’s inevitable that “My Prayer” is going to be my least favorite song of the post, as those keyboards just give me the shivers like someone running their nails down a chalkboard.

RCR
“Scandal” — 1980, #94 (download)

This is a relatively rare track from Rhodes, Chalmers, Rhodes, off the only album I can find for them, also titled Scandal. The album gives you some rock tracks like this and some funky semi-disco material in other places. It doesn’t really flow very well at all and it certainly didn’t catch on. At some point one of the Rhodes sisters (Sandra) became Sandra Chalmers Rhodes, so she was either married to Charles Chalmers at this time or got married after this. Either way, they are a blip on the radar of ‘80s AOR.

Chris Rea
“Loving You” — 1982, #88 (download)
“Let’s Dance” — 1987, #81 (download)
“Working on It” — 1989, #73 (download)

Chris Rea has a nice laid-back style and a distinctive voice, something that probably should have landed him on the charts more than three times, but he really didn’t make music for the radio. As I understand it too he had some issues with labels not wanting to push his music so while he released eight original records and a greatest hits compilation in the deacade, these were the only three songs to chart. I don’t really know a whole lot else about the Chris Rea story, but I’ve always been drawn to “Let’s Dance,” which is my favorite song with that title.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Rainbow, “Since You’ve Been Gone”
Worst song: Ray, Goodman & Brown, “My Prayer”

TOP 40 ONLY
None

Next week we travel down life’s highway with a soul legend’s sons.

An entire letter in a week. You gotta love that, considering R, S, and T will take a few months. Here’s the entire letter Q for you, as we look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the ’80s.

P.S. Thanks to those that recommended I purchase Pet Shop Boys’ Yes. I’m glad I did, as it’s a pretty awesome record. I’ve finally been able to cross that and Loz Netto’s Bzar off my list. I didn’t quite like Loz as much, but thanks to the reader who sent that to me as well.

Stacey Q
“Shy Girl” — 1987, #89 (download)
“Don’t Make a Fool of Yourself” — 1988, #66 (download)

It seems impossible that Stacey Q would have had four hits in the decade, but it’s true. Ms. Q had two dance hits with her group SSQ in 1983 before they decided to just go with the name of their singer and release “solo” material. She had two top 40 hits in 1986 with “Two of Hearts” and “We Connect.” “Shy Girl” was actually on her debut EP in 1985 but released after she had her two big hits. “Don’t Make a Fool of Yourself” is from her third album, Hard Machine.

Q-Feel
“Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)” — 1989, #75 (download)

Checking in at #4 on my Top 80 Songs of the ‘80s list, Q-Feel’s “Dancing in Heaven” to me is the definition of a lost gem. This track was actually way ahead of curve when it was released in 1982 and probably a bit dated when re-released in 1989. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t and still is, totally awesome. It appeared in the movie Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, (1985) but despite this fitting in great during that timeframe, it wasn’t a single then. The voice you hear here popped back up in 1994 with Top 20 single “In the House of Stone and Light,” none other than Martin Page. You gotta love the video here. He’s dressed up like a third string linebacker with a look and mannerism somewhere between Mark Mothersbaugh and Weird Al Yankovic. Seeing this, it’s not surprising they were never a hit.

Quarterflash
“Right Kind of Love” — 1982, #56 (download)
“Night Shift” — 1982, #60 (download)
“Take Another Picture” — 1983, #58 (download)
“Talk to Me” — 1985, #83 (download)

Can you believe that Quarterflash had seven Hot 100 hits in the decade? I probably could only sing “Harden My Heart” — the rest have faded into obscurity. The early recordings from the group all had pretty much the same saxophone sound to them so they are very easy to pinpoint at Quarterflash songs. Later songs like “Talk to Me” still featured the saxophone, but seemed to have much more of a rock edge.

Suzi Quatro
“She’s in Love With You” — 1979, #41 (download)
“Lipstick” — 1981, #51 (download)

Quatro had been releasing music since 1973, but her peak was between ’79 and ’81. Both of these songs sound very ‘70s but are pretty damn catchy.

Queen
“Play the Game” — 1980, #42 (download)
“Need Your Loving Tonight” — 1980, #44 (download)
“Flash” — 1981, #42 (download)
“Calling All Girls” — 1982, #60 (download)
“I Want to Break Free” — 1984, #45 (download)
“It’s a Hard Life” — 1984, #72 (download)
“One Vision” — 1985, #61 (download)
“A Kind of Magic” — 1986, #42 (download)
“I Want It All” — 1989, #50 (download)

The almighty Queen check in with nine of their 14 charting tracks in the decade not making the Top 40. Their nine songs makes them just one away from the Bottom Feeders record of 10 songs, still to come.

“Play the Game” was somehow released between “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and “Another One Bites the Dust” and wasn’t a real hit. And the awesome “Need Your Loving Tonight” was the follow up to “Dust” and also didn’t make it past #44.

“Flash” is actually not the version called “Flash’s Theme” on the Flash Gordon soundtrack. That version has the dialogue from the opening scene only, while the single version here has dialogue from various points in the movie.

I love Queen, so I’d like to say otherwise, but 1980’s The Game was pretty much the last good record from the group. Hot Space (1982), The Works (1984), A Kind of Magic (1986), and The Miracle (1989) all had brief shining moments, but even the bigger hits like “Body Language” and “Radio Ga-Ga” weren’t all that great. A song like “One Vision” tries to rock out but ends up missing the mark by a long shot. “I Want It All” really is one of the few Queen singles from the latter half of the decade that really doesn’t try any gimmicks in turning out a straight rock song; in so doing, it ends up being the best single of that era.

Quiet Riot
“Mama Weer All Crazee Now” — 1984, #51 (download)

Quiet Riot flat out sucked. I would definitely like to hear their first two Japanese releases in the late ‘70s with Randy Rhodes on guitar to see what they sounded like with him. But once QR starting releasing albums in the U.S., they progressively got worse as a band. 1983’s Metal Health is passable at best. Past that, the next three (Condition Critical (1984), QRIII (1986) and Quiet Riot (1988) are almost unlistenable. Somehow they kept releasing albums though right up until singer Kevin DuBrow died of a cocaine overdose in 2007.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Q-Feel, “Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)”
Worst song: Quiet Riot, “Mama Weer All Crazee Now”

TOP 40 ONLY
None

Next week, another new letter — R!

As the days go by, I’m learning more and more that my son, who’s now one year old, seems to respond to music. Whenever my wife turns on CMT or I pop on a record, he stops in his tracks, stares at the noise coming out of the big machine, and then starts bobbing his head — actually, his entire upper body — to the tunes.

So, as of last Thursday I’ve decided to play him a “classic” record each morning as we’re getting ready for the day — you know, with the hope that he’ll grow up liking daddy’s music (God help him). I’ve had four opportunities so far and I’ve chosen Peter Gabriel’s So, Arcadia’s So Red the Rose, the Time’s Ice Cream Castles, and INXS’s Kick. He seemed to like Peter Gabriel and was dancing all over the place during “Red Rain” (the first time I’ve ever seen anyone dance to that song). He also bobbed his head quite a bit during INXS’s “Guns in the Sky,” and Arcadia’s “Election Day” had him swaying back and forth. Unfortunately, Morris Day and the Time seemed to do nothing for him, but I still have plenty of formidable years ahead to get my son to blow his funky horn like dad.

Now, back to the ass end of the 1980s, i.e. songs that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the Reagan years, featuring our final week of artists whose names begin with the letter P.

Billy Preston
“I’m Never Gonna Say Goodbye” — 1982, #88 (download)

Billy Preston & Syreeta
“One More Time for Love” — 1980, #52 (download)

Billy Preston’s smash duet with Syreeta, “With You I’m Born Again” puts me to sleep, so if I’m listening to Billy’s singles chronologically, I just never get to these. Man, “With You” must be the slowest ballad to chart in the decade. Not like either of these tunes here are barnburners, either. I’m pretty sure “One More Time for Love” is actually a really good song, but I haven’t been in the right mood to verify that in ages.

Pretenders
“Stop Your Sobbing” — 1980, #65 (download)
“Thin Line Between Love and Hate” — 1984, #83 (download)
“My Baby” — 1987, #64 (download)

Here’s one of those artists that I’m going to learn a lot about by reading the comments. They’re pretty much universally loved, but I, of course, can’t stand their music and think they are way overrated. But as with pretty much every artist I hate, there isn’t one thing I can pinpoint or one moment where I realized it, but there has never been a point in my life where I have cared to hear a Pretenders song. The 1986 #10 hit “Don’t Get Me Wrong” is the closest I come to enjoying one of their songs. I’d be completely content if I never heard any of these three songs again.

Prince
“Controversy” — 1981, #70 (download)
“1999” — 1982, #44 (download)
“Let’s Pretend We’re Married” — 1983, #52 (download)
“Irresistible Bitch” — 1983, #52 (download)
“America” — 1985, #46 (download)
“Anotherloverholenyohead” — 1986, #63 (download)
“If I Was Your Girlfriend” — 1987, #67 (download)
“Hot Thing” — 1988, #63 (download)

On the other hand, bring on Prince! While the Pretenders are pretty much universally loved, Prince is pretty much universally considered a dick based on all the stories I’ve read about him. But he’s my favorite artist ever, so I have no complaints. Prince provided me with my favorite concert ever back on his Musicology tour. I have 707 Prince songs on my iPod (that’s not counting his artists or songs he wrote but didn’t perform), which is far and away the largest number of any musician. And one of the things I loved about Prince singles is that the B-side was usually some unreleased track. Even in the ‘90s with CD singles, he’d release remixes and alternate takes galore for each single. And then there’s the untapped vault of what is probably hundreds of great songs that pop up every now and then in various places.

As for the tracks in this series, “1999” is an interesting one to include here, as it went to #12 in June of ’83 (only 12?) but in late ’82 only managed to go to #44. It wasn’t until after “Little Red Corvette” hit that “1999” then became a bigger hit unto itself.

“Let’s Pretend We’re Married” is one of my favorite tracks from 1999 (1982), but not the most radio friendly. I have to assume that’s partially why DJs flipped the 45 over and played the B-side, “Irresistible Bitch” – though it’s not like that’s radio friendly either.

“America” is one of my favorite Prince tracks from Around the World in a Day (1985). And a lot of people forget about the awesome “Anotherloverholenyohead” from Parade (1986), the soundtrack to Prince’s directorial debut, Under the Cherry Moon. The B-side to that song, “Girls & Boys,” is one of the best songs on that record.

Both “If I Was Your Girlfriend” and the super-funky “Hot Thing” were off the near-perfect double album Sign o’ the Times (1987). “Hot Thing” is interesting because it was originally the B-side of the #10 hit, “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man.” But unlike “Irresistible Bitch,” it didn’t chart at the same time. Instead it became a single in its own right after the run of its flip side ended.

One of the great things about Prince is that there really is no general consensus on what his best album is. 1999, Purple Rain (1984), and Sign o’ the Times are all so good, that there’s a decent split between the three of them. And for me, his best album didn’t arrive until the ‘90s, when he released what’s been dubbed “The Love Symbol Album” (1992), the unpronounceable symbol becoming his moniker in the coming years.

PRiSM
“Turn On Your Radar” — 1982, #64 (download)

While nothing could follow up the mighty Prince in my mind, at least this isn’t a half bad tune. Prism seemed to be 100 different lineups over the years, originally brought together by two recognizable names: producer Bruce Fairbairn and Jim Vallance, best known for his work with Bryan Adams. The first single (“Don’t Let Him Know”) from their 1982 album Small Change was written by Adams and Vallance and went to #39. “Turn On Your Radar” was the last song released from this Prism, with a new Prism formed just one year later with Bill Champlin in it, among others.

The Producers
“What She Does to Me” — 1981, #61 (download)

So who do you think gave the Producers their first contract? Well, of course it’s Tom Werman, who cleverly titled his Popdose series the same. The Producers were an awesome band from Atlanta, Georgia, who got a ton of love from the southeast, but not enough everywhere else to make a lasting impression.

Pseudo Echo
“Living in a Dream” — 1987, #57 (download)

Right now you’re probably saying, “Holy shit, Pseudo Echo had a song besides ‘Funky Town’?” And then you’re probably saying, “Holy shit, this sounds a lot like ‘Funky Town.’” Well, it’s true that the group wasn’t technically a one-hit wonder, and yes, parts of “Living in a Dream” do sound a whole lot like Pseudo Echo’s big hit cover song. Their 1985 album included “Living in a Dream,” but not “Funky Town” — that is, until it got rereleased in ‘87. After that they took a few years off before releasing Race in ‘89, which was more rock oriented (and flat-out sucked). Be sure to watch the video below, because the single version of the song featured in the video has a totally different structure than the version offered for download.

Psychedelic Furs
“Love My Way” — 1983, #44 (download)
“The Ghost in You” — 1984, #59 (download)
“Pretty in Pink” — 1986, #41 (download)

I was introduced to the Butler brothers for the first time around 1988 or 1989, I guess. The same two guys that first turned me on to the Cure also pumped the Psychedelic Furs into my brain as well. Though they did have four hits, I suppose they are more of a cult favorite now despite all four songs (“Heartbreak Beat” being the other) being excellent. Unfortunately, album-wise, I think their creative peak was 1981’s Talk Talk Talk.

Pure Prairie League
“I Can’t Stop the Feelin’” — 1980, #77 (download)
“You’re Mine Tonight” — 1981, #68 (download)

Surprisingly, I actually like both of these songs very much. I think the thing that shocked me is that up until last year when I pulled out a Pure Prairie League album (for reasons I don’t understand) I had no idea the singer was country superstar Vince Gill. Not that PPL was a balls-out rock band or anything, but Vince certainly went an even softer, gentler route for his solo material.

As I do with every post, it’s time for me to learn something as well. “I Can’t Stop the Feelin’” charted in 1980. I own the 45, which says it’s from the album Firin’ Up, which I don’t own (since I can probably find it in any dollar bin, I should). But Firin’ Up has the track listed as “I Can’t Stop This Feelin’,” according to PPL’s official site. Even more confusing is that Wikipedia says “I Can’t Stop the Feelin’” was a “single only” release. I listened to the 45 again, and Gill sings “I can’t stop this feelin’” in the chorus just like in the MP3 offered for download. So what’s the deal with this song — is the album version any different?

QUICK HITS
Best song: Prince, “Controversy”
Worst song: Pretenders, “Stop Your Sobbing”

TOP 40 ONLY
Pretty Poison (2); Maxi Priest (1)

Next week it’s onto the letter Q, with the best “lost” track of the entire decade!

This is one of the very few places where I can make a statement like “I was so excited to find a near-mint copy of the Electric Dreams soundtrack” and get reactions other than people calling me a dork under their breath.

There’s this very cool shop in Reading, Pennsylvania, called Vertigo Music that’s run by this cool indie girl (one day I’ll ask her her name so that I can stop saying, “You know … that store with the cool indie girl”). I stop by on many of my trips to that area. She’s got a nice pile of one-dollar records, and the better albums are very reasonably priced. A few weeks ago I located the soundtrack I mentioned above for $8, which to me is a steal for something I don’t think I’d ever seen before. I also was able to pick up the Nails’ Mood Swings (featuring their only hit, “88 Lines About 44 Women”), another album I’d been searching for a long time.

I mention this for two reasons. The first is because I know you’ll understand my excitement in finding two albums I’ve wanted in my collection forever. No one else really does, to be honest. Second, I feel the need to let the world know about this place. In my area, just finding a record store is difficult, but when you walk into one that’s clean, inviting, well organized, and has a great selection of music without being overwhelming … well, it begs some attention. I’m assuming she does more business through her Gemm site than in-store, but if you’re ever in Reading, you should definitely stop in and check it out. The world needs more of these types of record stores.

Anyway, how about some more songs from artists whose names begin with the letter P, as we take a look at the bottom feeders — songs that charted at #41 or lower — from the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.

Poco
“Under the Gun” — 1980, #48 (download)
“Midnight Rain” — 1980, #74 (download)
“Shoot for the Moon” — 1982, #50 (download)
“Days Gone By” — 1984, #80 (download)

Poco had seven songs hit the Hot 100 in the ‘70s, and most of those were Bottom Feeders too. Almost all of them also had some combo of Richie Furay, Jim Messina, Randy Meisner, and Timothy B. Schmit on them. The Poco of the ’80s had none of those guys; guitarist Rusty Young is the only member to have been there from the start. Singer Paul Cotton replaced Messina in 1971 and can be heard on these songs. I’ve never really picked up a Poco album voluntarily, but these songs certainly count as harmless dinnertime background music.

Buster Poindexter
“Hot Hot Hot” — 1987, #45 (download)

Olé, ohh-lé! Olé, ohh-lé! This is former New York Dolls singer David Johansen’s only hit song – a cover of the Arrow original. From what I’ve read over the years, Buster is a bit tired of it at this point, as it’s the only thing he gets recognized for.

Pointer Sisters
“Could I Be Dreaming” — 1980, #52 (download)
“If You Wanna Get Back Your Lady” — 1983, #67 (download)
“I Need You” — 1983, #48 (download)
“Baby Come and Get It” — 1985, #44 (download)
“Freedom” — 1985, #59 (download)
“Twist My Arm” — 1986, #83 (download)
“All I Know Is the Way I Feel” — 1987, #73 (download)
“Be There” — 1987, #42 (download)

I hope you like the Pointer Sisters, because you’ve got enough tracks here to put together a typical ‘80s-length CD. Unfortunately, unless you were a true fan, I’d be shocked if you knew more than two of these songs. Everyone knows “I’m So Excited,” “Jump (For My Love),” and “Neutron Dance,” but this is a group where the lesser singles really didn’t stand the test of time.

None of the songs here are even that good, though at least “If You Wanna Get Back Your Lady” is slightly recognizable: it was the final charting single from the So Excited LP. The strange track here is “I Need You,” which was the first single off their smash-hit album Break Out. The three songs mentioned in the first paragraph were all from this album as well, and went top ten. I’m completely baffled how such a generic track was the lead single on an album that had can’t-miss hits on it.

“Baby Come and Get It” was the fifth single from Break Out, and was written by James Ingram. While “Be There” is also a pretty bad song, it fits right in on the Beverly Hills Cop II soundtrack, which came out three years after the Pointers contributed “Neutron Dance” to the original Cop’s soundtrack.

(Okay, so I’ve gone back and listened to these songs quite a bit since I wrote these ladies up, and I think I was generous when I said, “None of the songs here are even that good.” They all suck.)

Poison
“I Want Action” — 1987, #50 (download)

I was initially shocked to see that Poison didn’t have more songs in this series. Then I was even more shocked to see that “I Want Action” was the one. But then again, I think back to how big Poison was just one year later and maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise. And while these guys are super easy to pick on for being the prototypical hair metal band, I’m not going to — because I loved them just as much as you did. Even songs from 1990’s Flesh and Blood like “Ride the Wind” and “Life Goes On” went Top 40 and maybe I’d recognize them if I heard them, but by title I have no idea what they are.

Now, of course, Bret Michaels is a whore (but frankly, if I was single and was offered a job where the main premise is to hook up with rock skanks for years, I’d do it too). But this is nothing compared to the travesty of recording a “rock” version of Justin Timberlake’s “Sexyback” in 2007. If the love bus didn’t do it, this certainly stripped him of his rock-cred card.

Apparently there’s a gangsta rapper out there now going by the name of Poison. He raps in French. Look him up on iTunes for a laugh. Gangsta rap in French doesn’t translate well.

Police
“Message in a Bottle” — 1979, #74 (download)
“Secret Journey” — 1982, #46 (download)
“Don’t Stand So Close to Me ‘86” — 1986, #46 (download)

Boy, we really run the gamut here. Who would have expected “Message in a Bottle” to top out at #74? (It peaked on the Hot 100 near the end of ‘79, but for the week of January 5, 1980, it was at #100, so it makes the cut for this series.) Who would have expected that the very un-radio-friendly “Secret Journey” was a single? And who would have expected something as utterly blasphemous as the 1986 butchering of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” even exists?

The only reason I can understand radio stations playing “Secret Journey” is that it was simply another song by the untouchable Police. I don’t blame them for jumping on the “Don’t Stand So Close to Me ‘86” bandwagon, but I’m dismayed it got as high as #46, though it did get as high as #10 on my Bottom 80 Songs of the ‘80s list. It’s simply an unnecessary and brutal remake of an absolutely classic song.

Gary Portnoy
“Where Everybody Knows Your Name” — 1983, #83 (download)

Gary Portnoy has released a couple albums and written some songs for other people, but he’ll be forever known as the guy who sang the theme song to Cheers, which he cowrote with Judy Hart Angelo. They also wrote the theme songs for Mr. Belvedere, sung by Leon Redbone, and Punky Brewster, sung by Portnoy. (”I’m RICH, bitch!” –Ed.)

Powersource
“Dear Mr. Jesus” — 1987, #61 (download)

Somehow this one only checked in at #32 on my Bottom 80 Songs of the ‘80s list. Surprisingly, I’ve never taken any heat for putting a sincere song about preventing child abuse in my “unholy trilogy” (no, I’m not even remotely calling Powersource unholy — they were essentially a Christian-music ministry … but it works!). The other two songs in the trilogy, if you haven’t been around for Bottom Feeders from the beginning, are Toni Basil’s “Shoppin’ From A to Z” and Steve Miller’s “Bongo Bongo.”

A few radio stations actually played this on their own, but it became a hit when, around the same time as its release in 1987, a girl named Lisa Steinberg was beaten to death by her adoptive father, Joel. I get the message and why it was played in the wake of that tragedy, but I’m still allowed to rip it because it’s fucking creepy. Face it — it really is kind of alarming to hear this little six-year-old girl talking about being beaten, and it not only sends shivers up my spine every time I hear it, but it’s totally a mood killer in any given iPod shuffle. And before right-wing Christians knock down my door, I want to state for the record that I’m talking about the quality of the song itself, not the message. Child abuse = BAD. Powersource = WORSE.

Elvis Presley
“The Elvis Medley” — 1982, #71 (download)

Well, with the surge of medleys in the ‘80s, this was bound to happen. And I mean, I can’t really say much about classic Elvis songs, but this mix is perhaps the worst of all the various mixes in the decade, probably because most of the other ones seem to be tied together via some backbeat that made transitions seemless. This is simply just one song stopping and the next one starting. I don’t get the album of the same name either (well, I get it – money) as this medley is six songs long. The album then includes these six songs in their entirety, in order. It’s then followed up with “Always on My Mind,” “Heartbreak Hotel,” and “Hard Headed Woman.” If you’re going to tack on three major hits at the end, why the fuck weren’t they in the medley? I guess it would have taken us to the five minute mark, which would have just been too much Elvis for the radio. Yeah.

QUICK HITS
Best song: Police, “Message in a Bottle”
Worst song: Police, “Don’t Stand So Close to Me ‘86”

TOP 40 ONLY
Point Blank (1); Bonnie Pointer (1); Mike Post (2); Power Station (3)

Next week we finish up the letter P with my favorite artist of all time.