This is one of the very few places where I can make a statement like “I was so excited to find a near-mint copy of the Electric Dreams soundtrack” and get reactions other than people calling me a dork under their breath.
There’s this very cool shop in Reading, Pennsylvania, called Vertigo Music that’s run by this cool indie girl (one day I’ll ask her her name so that I can stop saying, “You know … that store with the cool indie girl”). I stop by on many of my trips to that area. She’s got a nice pile of one-dollar records, and the better albums are very reasonably priced. A few weeks ago I located the soundtrack I mentioned above for $8, which to me is a steal for something I don’t think I’d ever seen before. I also was able to pick up the Nails’ Mood Swings (featuring their only hit, “88 Lines About 44 Women”), another album I’d been searching for a long time.
I mention this for two reasons. The first is because I know you’ll understand my excitement in finding two albums I’ve wanted in my collection forever. No one else really does, to be honest. Second, I feel the need to let the world know about this place. In my area, just finding a record store is difficult, but when you walk into one that’s clean, inviting, well organized, and has a great selection of music without being overwhelming … well, it begs some attention. I’m assuming she does more business through her Gemm site than in-store, but if you’re ever in Reading, you should definitely stop in and check it out. The world needs more of these types of record stores.
Anyway, how about some more songs from artists whose names begin with the letter P, as we take a look at the bottom feeders — songs that charted at #41 or lower — from the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.
After what will probably go down as the worst week in the Bottom Feeders series, we crank it up a notch with some superstar artists and some really well-known songs. Here’s another week of artists whose names begin with the letter P, as we continue looking at songs that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.
Pet Shop Boys
“Love Comes Quickly” — 1986, #62 (download)
“Suburbia” — 1986, #70 (download)
“Left to My Own Devices” — 1989, #84 (download)
Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe are awesome. If you’re unfamiliar with Pet Shop Boys, pick up PopArt: The Hits (2003) for a near-flawless retrospective of their career. What’s most amazing about that double album is that it’s not in sequential order, yet the ‘80s Pet Shop Boys sound still melds well with their new-millennium tunes. I admit, though, that I kind of lost track of them after their 1996 album Bilingual, even though I think that album is excellent. They are probably going to be my next “catalog” artist, where I have to own everything they put out (which can’t be easy with a dance-oriented duo like these guys, what with the million remixes and side projects). Both “Love Comes Quickly” and “Suburbia” are from their debut album, Please; “Left to My Own Devices” comes from their third studio album, Introspective.
Well, here’s another week of the letter P. And while I hate to say it up front, I think this might be the weakest post of the series.
I know that’s not the best way to promote something, but since it’s alphabetical here at Bottom Feeders, it’s all just luck of the draw, and we all know bad weeks are going to come along now and again. I’m curious to see what you’ll think of it. Let’s get started with more of the songs that charted at #41 or lower on the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.
Dolly Parton
“But You Know I Love You” — 1981, #41 (download)
“The House of the Rising Sun” — 1981, #77 (download)
“I Will Always Love You” — 1982, #53 (download)
“Save the Last Dance for Me” — 1983, #45 (download)
“Downtown” — 1984, #80 (download)
Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers
“The Greatest Gift of All” — 1984, #81 (download)
“Real Love” — 1985, #91 (download)
How could you not love Double-D, as I like to call her? Okay, so there are plenty of other ways to look at breasts that might be more interesting than these, but as a kid growing up in the ‘80s, I knew nothing of Dolly Parton’s except for “9 to 5” and ginormous cans. But I have to give respect to Miss Dolly as she’s had a great career and despite making traditional country (something I have no interest in) she made it quite tolerable.
If I’m not mistaken, “The Greatest Gift of All” might be the first Christmas song in this series.
The Pasadenas
“Tribute (Right On)” — 1989, #52 (download)
It’s not a shocker that the Pasadenas never blew up. Their music is more ‘60s and ‘70s soul than ‘80s. And while this song (thankfully not a mash-up of hits) is actually damn good, it was about 9 years too late to be a major hit for them. If this had been released in ’80 or ’81, I have no doubt this would have gone top 10.
I must go ahead and thank Annie Zaleski, who commented last week about the group Chromeo. I’m frankly bothered and disgusted that their 2007 album Fancy Footwork has been sitting out in the world for two years — it even got a deluxe release last year — and not one person in my life tuned me into maybe the funkiest ’80s throwback group ever.
I’m disgusted at myself as well for not finding them on my own. How a marvelous funky-ass release like this could fly under my radar, I don’t understand. I can’t let others slip by, so now I must ask if there are other bands out there like this. iTunes led me to MSTRKRFT, who I’d heard of, but they aren’t quite as ’80s as Chromeo. Who else should I know about who sounds like they’re making lost Oran “Juice” Jones records? As far as this week goes, after listening to the Chromeo record all I have to say is: Ray Parker Jr. sounds even better!
Here are more artists whose names begin with the letter P, as we check out songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.
I’ve never really been a fan of Pablo Cruise but I have to admit that “Slip Away” is a pretty cool, laid back song. The intro to this track just makes me want to sit on my porch, close my eyes and enjoy a nice summer breeze. (I must be in a strangely good mood as shit like that last sentence doesn’t usually come out of my mouth.)
David Pack
“Prove Me Wrong” — 1986, #95 (download)
What an absolutely miserable song from the former lead singer and guitarist of Ambrosia. I’m not sure this song has an identity. It starts off with those super-fake sounding keys and drums and seems to want to be some kind of R&B number and then about a minute in it breaks into a riff that could be the little brother of Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” and then goes right back where it began. This track was actually the second cut on the White Nights soundtrack as well as featured on Pack’s first solo record, Anywhere You Go. The only thing I like David Pack for are the countless hours of enjoyment he’s given me thanks to the cover of the Ambrosia album One Eighty, which regularly gets referenced in my house as “men hugging each other.”
Pajama Party
“Yo No Se” — 1989, #75 (download)
“Over and Over” — 1989, #59 (download)
Another heavily played song in my trivia days, “Yo No Se” is a song that I remember hearing a lot in ’89 and ’90 and yet possibly never heard the name of the group. I only remember the name now because of said trivia matches. The song itself is probably one of my favorites of the freestyle genre, though that’s a little tough to say since so many sounded exactly the same. It’s at least one that I remember quite vividly. However, I could have sat here for weeks and never given you the name of the Pajama Party follow up song. I don’t ever remember hearing “Over and Over” and yet that performed better on the charts than “Yo No Se.”
This past Monday my ability to come up with future IGMs (Inappropriate Ghetto Moments) was squelched by the po-po. No longer will I be able to drive through the ghetto on the way home with my iPod on Shuffle and watch the horror as crack whores hear Bette Midler’s “The Rose” blasting out my ride. See, yours truly was listening to “Mouth For War” by Pantera really loud and a fine officer in my borough pulled me over for violating the noise ordinance that was passed just a few months earlier. So rather than take the $1000 fine and the 30 days in jail, I’m going to have to turn my music down, which means I’ll pretty much just be turning it off now since music does nothing for me unless it’s loud. As a buddy pointed out, I’m so metal that my town can’t handle it. So horns high for this one, I suppose.
Now, rather than split the letter O up into two small posts, I’ve gone huge and given you the entire letter in one shot. Enjoy close to 30 tracks from the 15th letter of the alphabet as we look at more Bottom Feeders from the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.
Oak
“Set the Night on Fire” — 1980, #71 (download)
Sometimes Oak, sometimes Oak & Rick Pinette, sometimes Rick Pinette & Oak and even sometimes Oak & the Rick Pinette Band, this multinamed crew will always have a place in my musical heart. Their #36 hit earlier in 1980, “King of the Hill,” was easily the hardest of the all the top 40 songs to find and the first time I really had to dig to find a track. I searched high and low for that self-titled debut album for years with no luck, until I found not only a copy, but an autographed one at that (surely adding about 63 cents in value to it.) Their second hit, “Set the Night on Fire,” was from the album of the same name, which I still don’t own. I settled for the 45 which was also quite a pain in the ass to acquire. This was back in the day where I was excited to listen to the rarer stuff and almost forced myself to enjoy it based on the amount of work I put in. It was only later on that I realized most of these tough-to-find tracks are rare for good reason. But Oak and now-and-then Rick Pinette, you have avoided my wrath.
Oak Ridge Boys
“So Fine” — 1982, #76 (download)
“American Made” — 1983, #72 (download)
God, I hate the Oak Ridge Boys. “So Fine” is such a poor song. I know it was a cover of a tune by the Fiestas and I’ve never heard that version, but it can’t be any better ‘cause it’s just poorly written to begin with. Obviously, the Oak Ridge Boys didn’t think so and my taste in music is suspect anyway. But that opening two seconds of keyboards sounds exactly like an ‘80s sitcom theme song (someone tell me which one though!) Maybe the biggest problem I have with the Oak Ridge Boys is very evident on “American Made” which is that bass vocalist Richard Sterban just sounds so out of place with the other vocalists on a lot of tracks. The other problem that I have is that every time I run to the record store I have to weed through 10,000 copies of Oak Ridge Boys records and I swear that every time I find ones I’ve never seen before. They put out 16 damn albums in the decade. No one needs 16 albums in 10 years.
First of all, I must give some props to the King of Grief, who decided to turn Bottom Feeders into a radio broadcast for a few hours last Tuesday. You can check him out every Tuesday over at KPFT. Great set list, even if he did play Meco’s “Ewok Celebration.”
Secondly, it’s really bugging me that in Garry Sharpe-Young’s A-Z of ’80s Rock book there are hundreds of groups that never released an album in the ’80s. Seems that to get in this book all you had to be was the ass wiper for Pretty Boy Floyd for a week and that was enough to make you an ’80s artist, despite the fact that you only released one demo in 2003; I had to weed out the non-’80s to get to the stuff the book is really supposed to be about. On the same note, I also purchased A-Z of Doom & Gothic Metal and there was a little box in the corner of the front cover that said “CD of 14 power metal tracks included.” I love me some power metal, but I can’t possibly understand why I’d buy a book on doom metal and get a power-metal CD with it. How about 14 tracks of doom and goth? Do I have to buy the power-metal book to get the doom CD?
And finally, I can now say I have something in common with Jermaine Jackson: Back in 1996 I caught a foul ball at a Philadelphia Phillies game. On Sunday night, Jermaine Jackson caught a ball at a Los Angeles Dodgers game. I guess “Blanket” is going to get a new toy from Uncle Jermaine.
And now, get ready for a little Wango Tango. Wango Wango. Tango Tango. Here’s the second and final week of the letter N, as we check out more songs from the bottom three-fifths of the Billboard Hot 100 during the 1980s.
Juice Newton
“Dirty Looks” — 1983, #90 (download)
“A Little Love” — 1984, #44 (download)
“Can’t Wait All Night” — 1984, #66 (download)
After talking about Anne Murray two weeks ago it was mentioned that I either liked blondes or MILFs growing up. We have three ladies in a row here to figure this out, because, frankly, I’m not sure myself.
I don’t recall ever being hot for a sip of the Juice. One place she looked like a hippie and the next some 24-year-old vixen (like on her 1984 Greatest Hits album). I do recall, however, listening to a ton of her music. Or I guess I should say listening to a few songs quite often, because really, after she hit #7 in 1982 with “Love’s Been a Little Bit Hard on Me,” I couldn’t remotely give you even one bar of any other song. But geez, “Queen of Hearts” was a staple of many of my childhood days. Listening to it again right now, I kind of dig “Can’t Wait All Night” though it’s certainly different than her normal country-pop tunes — maybe too different, as it became her last hit on the Hot 100. She still had seven more Top 10 hits on the country charts, though, right through the end of the decade.
If you’re just joining us here, Bottom Feeders is a look at both the awesome and terrible songs that came out of the ‘80s — each week we cover about 20 songs that peaked no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart that decade. We’re moving alphabetically from A to Z, so we still have a long way to go. After many weeks stuck on M, we finally move to the letter N and more songs from the ass end of the ‘80s.
Graham Nash
“Innocent Eyes” — 1986, #84 (download)
Ooofah. When I first heard this, I was shocked that this was the same Graham Nash that I knew. I don’t blame the guy for trying to stay relevant, but his album that bears the same name as the single above is a crappy overdubbed jumbled mess. “Innocent Eyes” is definitely the best track on it and that may very well be because of the presence of Kenny Loggins on background vocals.
Nazareth released a ton of records with very little success on the Billboard singles charts in the US. And while this single isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard, it’s got no punch. Nice riff in the verses, but the chorus turning into light rock schlock just doesn’t do it for me.
Phyllis Nelson
“I Like You” — 1986, #61 (download)
This was a #1 dance hit for Nelson, her only song to cross over to the pop charts in the US. Her earlier ‘70s and ‘80s appearances in music were mostly with disco oriented tracks so it’s not a surprise she jumped on the mid-‘80s dance wagon for her 15 minutes of fame.
Willie Nelson
“My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys” — 1980, #44 (download)
Pure country may not be my thing, but this is a really nice song off his soundtrack to Sydney Pollack’s The Electric Horseman. Gotta love it when Willie starts talking about picking up hookers in the middle of a track. I’ve never paid attention to the Willie Nelson story in full but what a crazy trip his life must be. Close to 100 albums, been on probably hundreds more, smoked hundreds of pounds of weed — I’m assuming this guy has had one crazy, eventful life.
We’ve reached the end of the longest letter we’ve had in a while, and we leave it in style — and/or a pile of adult-contemporary crap. Take your pick. Enjoy the final week of the letter M as you listen to a lot more from the ass end of the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.
Michael Morales
“I Don’t Know” — 1989, #81 (download)
If you type “Michael Morales” into Wikipedia, you’ll get the profile of some convicted murderer. Now, the musician known as Michael Morales may have been pretty crappy, but the only thing he’s murdered are my eardrums. (Ba-dum-bump! Here all night, folks!)
In the world of Top 40 hits there are very few songs I would consider obscure, but Morales’s first two singles might fall into that category. In 1989 “Who Do You Give Your Love To?” went to #14, and his second, a cover of the Romantics’ “What I Like About You,” went to #28. Then “I Don’t Know” dropped, and you know what — I don’t know if I’ve ever heard Morales’s actual vocals. All three of these songs are so layered, processed, and fake sounding that I feel like I’m listening to a machine instead of a human. But if his vocals were so bad that they needed to be that processed, how did he ever get a deal in the first place? “What I Like About You” would go down as my least favorite cover song of the decade if it weren’t for Roger’s (Troutman) mind-melting 1981 cover of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.”
Meli’sa Morgan
“Do Me Baby” — 1986, #46 (download)
It was a nice, cool night in 2006 when I came home from work and quietly ran into the record room without my girlfriend noticing. I put “Do Me Baby,” still in the picture sleeve, on top of the turntable. As I was unpacking my stuff from work, I asked her to go into the room and put on this new Prince cover I’d gotten because I thought she’d like it.
She told me to do it myself.
After a few more tries, I finally convinced her to go into the record room. When she picked up the 45, underneath it was a diamond ring.
Yes, I got engaged to Meli’sa Morgan’s cover of Prince’s “Do Me Baby.” A romantic at heart, I am.
Check out the video with Sadao Watanabe on saxophone:
Okay, so I know this is going to sound weird, but there’s a song on my iPod and I have no idea how it got there. Maybe someone sent it to me (if so, thanks!), or I downloaded it, but the simple fact of the matter is that I don’t remember it at all. Better yet, I know nothing about the group or the song except that it’s clearly ’80s and quite good. The group is called Music for Pleasure and the song is “The Human Factor.” So who can tell me something about this mysterious group and song that’s shown up in my world?
Even if you can’t, that’s okay. You can still listen to the songs below. Two more weeks to go until we end the letter M, so here’s the next-to-last one. Enjoy more songs from the ass end of the Billboard Hot 100 chart during the 1980s.
Modern English
“I Melt With You” — 1983, #78 (download)
“Hands Across the Sea” — 1984, #91 (download)
Can you possibly believe that “I Melt With You” didn’t go Top 40? Hell, I can’t believe it didn’t go Top 10. This would definitely go down as a nominee for most recognized Bottom Feeders track. If you’ve never listened to it, tracking down After the Snow, the album whence it came, would be worth your while. “Hands Across the Sea” is from the good but not great follow-up, Ricochet Days.
The first three songs here were produced by none other than Tom Werman, so I’ll let you go back and read about his experiences with Molly Hatchet. “Satisfied Man” was produced by Terry Manning for the album The Deed Is Done, the first less-than-stellar release from the group. I’m not just saying that because Werman didn’t produce the album — their next studio record, 1989’s Lightning Strikes Twice, was produced by him and kind of sucks too.
You know, I have to vent a bit here. I own the whole ’80s catalog of Molly Hatchet, so it’s not a big deal right now. But I was at a record show over the weekend flipping through $2 records and every one of these albums was in there. It made me remember what a pain in the ass it was to find them. No, they aren’t rare or anything. It’s simply that, other than 1983’s No Guts … No Glory, every album cover of theirs looks exactly the same at first glance. Even at second glance they all look the same. So I remembered back to when I was trying to find them without a list in front of me — I’m pretty good at remembering album covers, but damn if it isn’t confusing with this group.
Mondo Rock
“Primitive Love Rites” — 1987, #71 (download)
Mondo Rock were an Australian band that had a decent string of hits from 1981 to 1990 in their homeland. “Primitive Love Rites” is a pretty cool song, and the only one that caught on in the U.S.
There’s something terribly wrong with me right now. Just like everyone, there are points when I get a song stuck in my head that I just can’t get rid of. But right now I have a medley stuck in my brain which apparently only comes out when I’m singing in the shower (thankfully). It goes like this: “I’m gonna take you by surprise and make you realize / Amanda / I’m gonna tell you right away / I can’t wait another day / Amanda / I’m gonna say it like a man and make you understand / Amanda / I love you / You know it’s you babe / Giving me the courage and the strength I need / Please believe that it’s true / Babe, I love you.” Every morning for at least the last two weeks I’ve found myself singing some ungodly blend of Boston’s “Amanda” and Styx’s “Babe.” And I don’t even know why. I don’t remember hearing the tunes lately and it’s not like they are my favorite songs. Why couldn’t I just be singing a medley of “Danger Zone” and “Who’s Johnny” instead?
Here’s another week of Bottom Feeders where we chat about songs that reached no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the ’80s. We have a mess more of M to continue with this week, so stream away and enjoy.
Millions Like Us
“Guaranteed for Life” — 1987, #69 (download)
I mentioned a few weeks ago how this song got me buying ‘80s CDs again. I can state for a fact that before I started writing this up I had heard this song only once — back when I was listening to my whole collection from start to finish. The number of plays column on iTunes is at 0 which means it’s never shuffled to it and I’m 100% sure I’ve never pulled this out on my own. I knew nothing about the group and with a generic (and pretty bad) name like Millions Like Us a google search doesn’t turn up anything and the 45 only said the song was written by the group.
So, I went out and got the CD. If I had just listened to it a little bit I probably could have figured it out, but when I first heard this song, I thought it was a soulful young black man. But no, Millions Like Us is more like Go West — two soulful middle-aged white dudes. The singer is John O’Kane and the other guy goes by the name of “Jeep”. And that still tells me virtually nothing about the band. The track is pretty damn good though.
Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe are awesome. If you’re unfamiliar with Pet Shop Boys, pick up 
Dolly Parton
What an absolutely miserable song from the former lead singer and guitarist of Ambrosia. I’m not sure this song has an identity. It starts off with those super-fake sounding keys and drums and seems to want to be some kind of R&B number and then about a minute in it breaks into a riff that could be the little brother of Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” and then goes right back where it began. This track was actually the second cut on the White Nights soundtrack as well as featured on Pack’s first solo record, Anywhere You Go. The only thing I like David Pack for are the countless hours of enjoyment he’s given me thanks to the cover of the Ambrosia album One Eighty, which regularly gets referenced in my house as “men hugging each other.”
Sometimes Oak, sometimes Oak & Rick Pinette, sometimes Rick Pinette & Oak and even sometimes Oak & the Rick Pinette Band, this multinamed crew will always have a place in my musical heart. Their #36 hit earlier in 1980, “King of the Hill,” was easily the hardest of the all the top 40 songs to find and the first time I really had to dig to find a track. I searched high and low for that self-titled debut album for years with no luck, until I found not only a copy, but an autographed one at that (surely adding about 63 cents in value to it.) Their second hit, “Set the Night on Fire,” was from the album of the same name, which I still don’t own. I settled for the 45 which was also quite a pain in the ass to acquire. This was back in the day where I was excited to listen to the rarer stuff and almost forced myself to enjoy it based on the amount of work I put in. It was only later on that I realized most of these tough-to-find tracks are rare for good reason. But Oak and now-and-then Rick Pinette, you have avoided my wrath.
God, I hate the Oak Ridge Boys. “So Fine” is such a poor song. I know it was a cover of a tune by the Fiestas and I’ve never heard that version, but it can’t be any better ‘cause it’s just poorly written to begin with. Obviously, the Oak Ridge Boys didn’t think so and my taste in music is suspect anyway. But that opening two seconds of keyboards sounds exactly like an ‘80s sitcom theme song (someone tell me which one though!) Maybe the biggest problem I have with the Oak Ridge Boys is very evident on “American Made” which is that bass vocalist Richard Sterban just sounds so out of place with the other vocalists on a lot of tracks. The other problem that I have is that every time I run to the record store I have to weed through 10,000 copies of Oak Ridge Boys records and I swear that every time I find ones I’ve never seen before. They put out 16 damn albums in the decade. No one needs 16 albums in 10 years.
After talking about Anne Murray two weeks ago it was mentioned that I either liked blondes or MILFs growing up. We have three ladies in a row here to figure this out, because, frankly, I’m not sure myself.
If you type “Michael Morales” into Wikipedia, you’ll get the profile of some convicted murderer. Now, the musician known as Michael Morales may have been pretty crappy, but the only thing he’s murdered are my eardrums. (Ba-dum-bump! Here all night, folks!)
The first three songs here were produced by none other than Tom Werman, so I’ll let you go back and read about his experiences with 