CHART ATTACK!: 11/20/76

A duck, a muskrat, and Rod Stewart in a bowtie — the only thing that could save this Billboard Top 10 is a four-minute talkbox solo. It’s all in Jason Hare’s latest edition of CHART ATTACK!

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Friday, November 20th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 11/20/76

by Jason Hare

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So before we get started with today’s chart, I need to call your attention to those purty lil’ Amazon graphics below. They were created by the awesome Brian Ibbott, the man behind my favorite podcast (after the Popdose podcast, of course), Coverville. I figured Brian had taken them from the Amazon website, and since I couldn’t find them over at Amazon, I just took ‘em straight from Brian. I didn’t mean to be a thief, but turns out I am. So all credit for that nifty graphic that nobody clicks on goes to Brian — thanks, Brian! And if you’re not listening to Coverville, you’re missing out on one of the best, most compelling podcasts on the web. Check it out!

Okay, so now that I’ve stopped Brian’s team of blood-thirsty lawyers in their tracks (kidding!), we can take a look at this week’s chart. And I don’t mean to cast a cloud over this Top 10, but I’m not thrilled with most of these songs. Although three of them did hit #1 (one of them is actually the #1 hit of 1977), five of them didn’t make the Top 100 of either 1976 or 1977 at all. And as you’ll see, the songs that actually did hit #1 aren’t that great either. Things were better earlier in 1976 and later in 1977, but this specific week is, in my opinion, a low point. Do you agree? Let me know — and let’s attack November 20, 1976!

10. Do You Feel Like We Do — Peter Frampton null
9. Beth — Kiss null
8. Just to Be Close to You — Commodores null
7. Rock’n Me — Steve Miller null
6. The Rubberband Man — Spinners null
5. Disco Duck (Part 1) — Rick Dees null
4. Muskrat Love — Captain & Tennille null
3. Love So Right — Bee Gees null
2. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald — Gordon Lightfoot null
1. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright) — Rod Stewart null

10. Do You Feel Like We Do — Peter Frampton

nullOne day, if I’m lucky enough to have kids as geeky as I am (seems kind of inevitable), I’ll sit them down and tell them about the improbability of this song’s success. Sure, I’ll have to explain terms like “double album,” “record label” and “radio,” but I think it’ll be worth it. I’ll explain to them how Peter Frampton managed to remain on a major record label, A&M, despite the fact that his first three albums (as well as his first eight singles) didn’t even crack the Hot 100 (”what’s the Hot 100, daddy?”) and his fourth album peaked at #32. And that despite these failures, A&M decided that his next release should be a live album — and when he turned in the live album, the head of the record label (Jerry Moss) complained that it was too short (!) and should be a double album (!!). And so Frampton — who had recorded most of the album at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco, went to record more tracks live at SUNY Plattsburgh, better known as the least sexy of all the NY State-owned colleges. (I know. My dad went there.) “Do You Feel Like We Do” was one of the tracks recorded on the college campus. Unedited, it clocks in at 14:15. And children, guess what? “Radio stations,” as they were known back then, actually played the full, unedited version of the song! “Disc jockeys,” who were the people who actually had some control over what songs were played on the radio, used the song as an excuse to go to the bathroom or do other things that I’ll tell you about when you’re older. A&M understood that some stations might not want to play a 14-minute song, though, so they reasonably edited the song…to 7:19. 7:19 was considered reasonable, children!

At this point, my kids will probably be asleep from boredom, and that’ll be a shame, because I haven’t even explained to them why the unedited version of this song became so successful. Two words: TALKBOX SOLO. And here’s what I want to know, people: why do I have to wait SEVEN MINUTES AND 25 SECONDS for the talkbox solo? There should have been one in the beginning, in the middle, and then another one at the end. No, wait: the end one should be a false ending, and then there’d be another one after that one. There. That’s your perfect song. And I know the audience would have agreed, because you can hear how loud they cheer when he starts using the damn thing. You can’t deny the power of the talkbox. The talkbox is so powerful that the audience forgets the fact that anybody using one looks like a total douche.

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“durrrrrrrrrrr!”

Frampton does a talkbox solo for four full minutes, making “Do You Feel Like We Do” not only our CHART ATTACK! Song of the Week, but perhaps The Greatest Song of All Time, Excluding “What a Fool Believes.”

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Friday, November 6th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 11/3/73

by Jason Hare

Folks, I’ll be the first to tell you that our last CHART ATTACK! was just a little depressing. Marky Mark? Ugh! Color Me Badd? Ugggggh! Bryan Adams? Uggggggghhhh!  Good news, though: I’m pleased to report that this week’s Top 10 is much, much better — sure, there are some mild clunkers, but the majority of these songs are absolutely fantastic. See if you agree as we attack November 3, 1973!

10. All I Know — Garfunkel   null
9. Space Race — Billy Preston null
8. Let’s Get It On — Marvin Gaye null
7. Ramblin’ Man — The Allman Brothers Band null
6. Heartbeat – It’s a Lovebeat — The DeFranco Family Featuring Tony DeFranco
5. Paper Roses — Marie Osmond null
4. Half-Breed — Cher null
3. Keep On Truckin’ (Part 1) — Eddie Kendricks null
2. Angie — The Rolling Stones null
1. Midnight Train to Georgia — Gladys Knight & the Pips null

10. All I Know — Garfunkel (download)

Following the breakup of Simon & Garfunkel in 1970, Art Garfunkel removed his focus from the music business; for three years, he focused on his acting career, appearing in Mike Nichols movies such as Catch-22 and Carnal Knowledge, taught mathematics at a private school in Connecticut, and studied classical music in Europe. Finally, in 1973, he assembled a group of songwriters (what, you thought he was going to write songs himself?) and recorded songs for a new album, entitled Angel Clare. The first single, “All I Know,” was written by Jimmy Webb (the first of many Garfunkel/Webb collaborations) and was his first solo entry on the Top 10 — and by “first,” I mean “only,” though he did have three #1 hits on the Adult Contemporary charts. The song is exactly what you’d expect: musically, it’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” minus the bridge or troubled water, and lyrically, it’s deep into Mellow Gold territory. Art’s voice sounds a touch creepy here on the original, especially any time he gets near a low note. Still, it’s quite pretty, and you really can’t go wrong with songs like these, especially ones that feature Webb’s beautiful piano. The only thing I don’t understand is why, for his first few albums, Art was only billed as “Garfunkel.” Was he concerned that if he added the “Art,” people wouldn’t know who he was? How many Garfunkels are out there, really? If he wanted to capitalize on familiarity, perhaps he should have billed himself as “& Garfunkel.”

I found a nice video of Art Garfunkel performing “All I Know” on Saturday Night Live, but it’s on a Chinese website and I can’t figure out how to embed it. Still, it’s worth a watch; the song is much more effective in this stripped-down incarnation.

9. Space Race — Billy Preston

I personally had never heard “Space Race” before this week, but if you watched American Bandstand regularly, chances are you’ll recognize it as the music played during the mid-show commercial break, from 1974 until the show’s end. It worked great for that purpose, too — a sequel of sorts to 1972’s “Outa-Space,” “Space Race” is a thick slab of instrumental funk with a fantastic groove. But here’s the thing: on American Bandstand, you never got to hear more than a few seconds of the song. At around a minute and a half, it becomes pretty clear that a better title would have been “Holy Crap You Guys, I Just Got a New Keyboard and Look at All the Cool Sounds I Can Make, Wah Wah Wah Wah!” I can’t help but wonder if this song is what inspired Daryl Dragon to buy a Casio, and that just breaks my heart. Still, I can’t give Billy Preston too much grief. Apart from having the world’s greatest afro, the man was an unbelievable talent. And who doesn’t love the hell out of “Nothing From Nothing”?

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Friday, October 23rd, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 10/19/91

by Jason Hare

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Welcome back, everyone, to yet another latest edition of CHART ATTACK! As you know, we take the good charts with the bad charts ’round here. Two weeks ago, we covered a pretty stellar week from 1980. This week? Well, while we have some strong tunes this week, there are also some clunkers, too. Check ‘em out as we attack October 19, 1991!

10. Love…Thy Will Be Done — Martika null
9. Can’t Stop This Thing We Started — Bryan Adams null
8. Everybody Plays the Fool — Aaron Neville null
7. I Adore Mi Amor — Color Me Badd null
6. Good Vibrations — Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch Featuring Loleatta Holloway null
5. Something to Talk About — Bonnie Raitt null
4. Hole Hearted — Extreme null
3. Romantic — Karyn White null
2. Do Anything — Natural Selection Featuring Niki Haris null
1. Emotions — Mariah Carey null

10. Love…Thy Will Be Done — Martika (download)

You’ll be forgiven if you don’t remember this song — I know I don’t have no recollection of ever hearing it on the radio. “Toy Soldiers” might be the only song you remember of Martika’s (perhaps helped by Eminem’s sample of it in his 2005 song “Like Toy Soliders”), but she also reached #18 with “More Than You Know” and #25 with her cover of “I Feel the Earth Move,” in addition to peaking here at #10 with this song. You’ll also be forgiven if you knew this song but had no clue it was actually sung by Martika, since she sounds nothing like she did on “Toy Soldiers.” No, she sounds like she’s been taken hostage and forced to sing this song exactly the way someone else wants her to sing it…wait a minute, this song was written by Prince! Story checks out!

So yes, it’s true — for a brief, shining moment, Martika was a Prince Girl, which I think is something like being a Bond Girl but with a lot more patchouli. And she does a fine job with this song, although anybody really could’ve sung it; in fact,parts of her vocal are reminiscent of the Prince/Madonna “Love Song” duet from Like a Prayer. Musically, the song itself is a bore — the bass and drums are static throughout — but somehow ends up being oddly compelling. Prince created his own mix of the song (available on Martika’s greatest hits collection, which I double-dog dare you to buy), and he’s performed it live himself, too — our buddy (and diehard Prince fan) Pete from Ickmusic has gifted us with this version from 3/8/95, live from The Astoria in London. It’s just drums and bass until the three-and-a-half minute mark, but after that, we get a pretty good vocal from Prince. I’d say I prefer Martika’s original, but still, it’s pretty cool to have. Thanks, Pete!

Prince — Love…Thy Will Be Done (live) (download)

Curious what Tika’s up to these days? Well, she hasn’t released an album as “Martika” since this one, 1991’s Martika’s Kitchen, but she’s released two albums with her husband, Michael Mozart (I don’t know if that’s his real name, and I don’t care) as part if the group Oppera. And more recently, she’s going by the stage name Vita Edit and starring as “Lolly Pop” in a web series entitled j8ded. Mozart is in it too, billed as Michael Daemon. Martika, how the hell did you wind up being stranger than Prince?

By the way, don’t be surprised if this song is in your head all day. I keep singing it to myself, but I replace the word “love” with random one-syllable words, like “scones” and “balls.” (more…)

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Friday, October 9th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 10/11/80

by Jason Hare

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Hi everyone! It’s Friday and it’s time to look back at another Billboard Top 10 from — holy crap, this is from 29 years ago. Anybody else feel really old? Thankfully, I think this is a pretty good week for the charts: good variety, strong songs all around, and some really fantastic videos. Join me, won’t you, as we take a stab at October 11, 1980!

10. Give Me the Night — George Benson null
9. Real Love — The Doobie Brothers null
8. Xanadu — Olivia Newton-John/Electric Light Orchestra null
7. I’m Alright — Kenny Loggins null
6. Late in the Evening — Paul Simon null
5. Drivin’ My Life Away — Eddie Rabbitt null
4. All Out of Love — Air Supply null
3. Upside Down — Diana Ross null
2. Woman in Love — Barbra Streisand null
1. Another One Bites the Dust — Queen null

10. Give Me the Night — George Benson (download)

George Benson on roller skates, y’all. Does it get any better?

If you feel like this song’s groove sounds vaguely familiar, it’s probably because it was written by Rod Temperton, former keyboardist for Heatwave, and the man behind much of Off the Wall (and, later, Thriller). Every time I hear a Rod Temperton jam, I’m once again astounded that sounds like this came from a white guy. “Give Me the Night” peaked at #4, making it Benson’s most successful hit, with the awesome, awesome “Turn Your Love Around” right behind it, peaking at #5 in 1981. I’m disappointed that “Lady Love Me (One More Time) only made it to #30. I don’t have much more to say about this song — I’m too busy groovin’.

9. Real Love — The Doobie Brothers

If you buy the Michael McDonald: The Ultimate Collection CD (and you should!) and you import it into iTunes, there’s a good chance that the song titles for the Doobie Brothers tracks will come up like this: “Real Love (ft. The Doobie Brothers).” Now, on one hand, that’s incorrect: these tracks, and others like it, were released under “The Doobie Brothers,” and changing it is akin to changing “Lennon/McCartney” to “McCartney/Lennon.” (Okay, it’s nothing like that, but I just wanted to compare the Doobies to the Beatles for a second.) But in all honesty, these are Michael McDonald tracks featuring the Doobie Brothers. Other than keeping the album as a consistent “Michael McDonald” album, I’m not sure what the reason was for this alteration, other than McD just trying to find one more way to piss off Jeff “Skunk” Baxter. And if that’s the case — bravo, McD! I thought you ran out of ways to irritate Skunk a long time ago. Of course, Baxter was out of the band by the time both this song — and its accompanying album, One Step Closer — were released, and the band was nearing dissolution anyway due to the increased friction that came from essentially being McD’s backing band. Still, “Real Love” is a great song from this era of the Doobies. It’s no “What a Fool Believes” or “Minute By Minute,” but it’s got plenty of soul and a typically great vocal by McD.

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Friday, September 25th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 9/24/88

by Jason Hare

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Hi everybody! It’s CHART ATTACK! time once again, and this week’s pretty solid, if I do say so myself. (And I do.) This week, we bid a fond (okay, maybe not-so-fond) farewell to three artists who had a slew of Top 10 hits in the ’80s but came to a dead halt within a few weeks of this chart. One day, someone will write a requiem for Loggins, Lewis and Palmer (sounds like a really bad supergroup), but until then, we’ll just have to pay tribute to them here, as we look back to September 24, 1988!

10. Don’t Be Cruel — Bobby Brown Amazon iTunes
9. Nobody’s Fool — Kenny Loggins Amazon iTunes
8. If It Isn’t Love — New Edition Amazon iTunes
7. One Good Woman — Peter Cetera Amazon iTunes
6. Perfect World — Huey Lewis & the News Amazon iTunes
5. Love Bites — Def Leppard Amazon iTunes
4. Simply Irresistible — Robert Palmer Amazon iTunes
3. I’ll Always Love You — Taylor Dayne Amazon iTunes
2. Sweet Child O’ Mine — Guns N’ Roses Amazon iTunes
1. Don’t Worry, Be Happy — Bobby McFerrin Amazon iTunes

10. Don’t Be Cruel — Bobby Brown

Whenever I’m feeling down in the dumps, I like to present myself with some perspective. I always used to think about the Blues Traveler line “It won’t mean a thing in a hundred years,” but I think I’m switching to “hey, you could be Bobby Brown.” Because I don’t know if anybody is such a great example of having everything and then flushing it right down the toilet. He’s even worse than Andy Gibb. I mean, Bobby Brown is so universally hated that even Whitney’s Oprah interview can’t bring her back to the top. You only need to spend a few minutes with Bobby Brown to know that it’s generally a bad idea (case in point? Glenn Medeiros); Whitney spent what, five years with this tool? Maybe if she could still sing, we’d take her back, but this is all besides the point. The point is that no matter how bad you think you’ve screwed up, or how much you think you’ll never be able to get back to a better place, remember: hey, you could be Bobby Brown.

Bobby’s first solo album King of Stage didn’t do so well on the charts (quite possibly because was not the king of the stage). Not so with Don’t Be Cruel, both the album and the single. This was the lead-off single, and though it took a couple of months, it eventually peaked at #8 and paved the way for the other hits from the album. “Don’t Be Cruel” is a pretty sweet R&B song; dare I say it deserved to chart higher, or at least higher than “Humpin’ Around.” My only criticism of the song, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this, is that it ends too abruptly. Bobby does a nifty lil’ rap, and then there’s a fade-out. I seriously want more.

9. Nobody’s Fool — Kenny Loggins

As we’ve said before, Kenny Loggins was the undisputed King of the Soundtrack Songs in the ’80s. You can’t deny the awesome montage/we’re-gonna-make-it-after-all power of “I’m Alright,” “Footloose,” “Danger Zone,” and “Meet Me Half Way.” Kenny would agree; they’re included on his 1997 greatest hits collection. “Nobody’s Fool,” however, isn’t on there. Seems odd, right? The song did reach #8, certainly higher than other included songs like “Forever” (#40), “Conviction of the Heart” (#65) and “The Real Thing” (#∞).

So why isn’t it included? I’m going to guess that perhaps it’s because the song was the “Theme From Caddyshack II,” which was a terrible, terrible movie. And because it actually includes the line “Back to the shack,” which just reeks of desperation. Take a look at the video, which — of course — includes numerous clips from the movie itself. When you’re competing with Jackie Mason for screen time, you know you’re in serious, serious trouble.

“Nobody’s Fool” was Loggins’ final appearance not only in the Top 10, but in the Top 40. That might be another reason why the song isn’t included. It’s actually a shame, because the chorus is pretty damn good. You can read more about the song and its video at Gavin Edwards’ Rule 42 blog. (more…)

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Friday, September 11th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: Beatles Edition

by Jason Hare

Well, Beatles covers, anyway.

As if you haven’t noticed, it’s Beatles Week here on Popdose. Hell, it’s Beatles Week all over the world. Well, far be it from me to stay away from any bandwagon, but as you know, I gotta give things a little bit of a twist. See, I could talk for days about the Beatles’ appearances on the Billboard Top 10. They hold a million records, too — “Hey Jude,” for example, was the first single in the history of the Hot 100 to enter the charts at #10, and stayed at the top for nine weeks, longer than any other Beatles single. But what can I really say about these songs that hasn’t been said before? So instead, I thought I’d present you with ten Beatles covers that appeared in (or at least hovered around) the Top 10. Okay, I’ll be stretching it a little: two of these songs were never recorded by the Beatles but were written by Paul and/or John. Still, I think it provides for a fun week. And as a little treat — every single song is available for download! (You can thank/curse me later.) Off we go with CHART ATTACK!: Beatles Edition!

10. Here Comes the Sun — Richie Havens Amazon iTunes
9. Goodbye — Mary Hopkin Amazon iTunes
8. We Can Work It Out — Stevie Wonder Amazon iTunes
7. You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away — The Silkie Amazon
6. Got to Get You into My Life — Earth, Wind & Fire Amazon iTunes
5. I Saw Him Standing There — Tiffany Amazon iTunes
4. The Fool On The Hill — Sérgio Mendes & Brasil ‘66 Amazon iTunes
3. A World Without Love — Peter and Gordon Amazon iTunes
2. Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds — Elton John Amazon iTunes
1. Medley — Stars on 45 Amazon iTunes

10. Here Comes the Sun — Richie Havens (download)
Peaked at #16 on 5/22/71

Okay, I have to admit that I’m cheating a bit here: a spot in this Top 10 legitimately belongs to Anne Murray and her cover of “You Won’t See Me,” which peaked at #8 in July of 1974. But we covered that song back in July, and I honestly couldn’t bear to talk about it again. So instead, we’ll talk about Richie Havens’ song, which is a live version taken from his album Alarm Clock and remains his only single to reach the Top 40. Havens’ version features his trademark bordering-on-frenetic rhythmic guitar work, and definitely takes the song in a different direction; sadly, the lead guitar riff that is featured so prominently in the original (both in the introduction and the chorus) is gone, but Havens’ gentle, assured voice gives this version its own kind of peace.

9. Goodbye — Mary Hopkin (download)
Peaked at #13 on 5/31/69

In 1968, an 18-year-old Welsh singer named Mary Hopkin appeared on the British talent television show Opportunity Knocks. She sang “Turn, Turn, Turn” and won the competition. Twiggy happened to be watching the show that night, and called Paul McCartney to tell him about this fabulous new singer. The next Monday, Hopkin was in the studio with McCartney, recorded eight songs in a day and ended up with a contract offer at Apple Records. Her first single “Those Were the Days” (produced by Macca and recorded in English, French, German, and Italian) reached #1 in the UK and #2 in the US. Its catalog number was APPLE 2, behind APPLE 1, “Hey Jude.”

It was her follow-up single, “Goodbye,” that gives us a somewhat more direct Beatles connection — in addition to production, Paul also wrote the song (though, as with all songs at that point in time, it was credited to Lennon/McCartney). The 10th single released on Apple, it only reached #13 here but made it to #2 in the UK — held back from the #1 spot by “Get Back.”

I think “Goodbye” is a simple, sweet and charming little ditty. Hopkin’s vocal is pure and clean, and the percussion is quite charming. Paul’s demo, however, has a charm all its own, and in many ways, I prefer it to Hopkin’s version.

Paul McCartney — Goodbye (Demo) (download)

Here’s a promotional video for “Goodbye,” featuring Hopkin and McCartney in the studio. And if all that wasn’t enough, I found an absolutely stunning cover on YouTube. Check it out!

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Friday, August 28th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 8/28/82

by Jason Hare

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Howdy, everybody! Hope you’re all enjoying the last of your summer days, while I sit indoors and listen to ten artists who are likely never be found on the Top 10 — hell, probably the Top 40 — ever again. Let’s take a look back at the week ending August 28, 1982!

10. Take It Away — Paul McCartney Amazon iTunes
9. Wasted On the Way — Crosby, Stills & Nash Amazon iTunes
8. Vacation — Go-Go’s Amazon iTunes
7. Keep the Fire Burnin’ — REO Speedwagon Amazon iTunes
6. Even the Nights Are Better — Air Supply Amazon iTunes
5. Hard to Say I’m Sorry — Chicago Amazon iTunes
4. Hold Me — Fleetwood Mac Amazon iTunes
3. Abracadabra — Steve Miller Band Amazon iTunes
2. Hurts So Good — John Cougar Amazon iTunes
1. Eye of the Tiger — Survivor Amazon iTunes

10. Take It Away — Paul McCartney

I consider myself relatively well-versed in Paul McCartney’s post-Beatles career (though I do not know a single song from Press to Play), and yet I think I need someone who knows his stuff a little better to explain what the difference is between this song — a Macca solo song from Tug of War — and a Wings song. Production-wise, this doesn’t sound much different from “Listen to What the Man Said.” But what do I know. “Take It Away” features Ringo on drums, who also appears in the video with Tug of War producer George Martin on piano. I didn’t like this song the first time I heard it, but like so many of his songs, I just can’t get it out of my head now.

9. Wasted On the Way — Crosby, Stills & Nash

In 1982, Crosby, Stills & Nash peaked here at #9 (their second highest charting single behind 1977’s “Just a Song Before I Go”), and also had a #18 hit with “Southern Cross.” Do you think they were thinking, “Hello, ’80s!”? Because that certainly didn’t happen. Not that it matters, but “Wasted On the Way” was their final Top 40 appearance.

Interesting story behind Daylight Again, the album containing the single: it was intended to be a Stills & Nash project, mainly due to Crosby’s never-ending drug problems. They went straight to the B-list for possible replacements, including Art Garfunkel and the Cryptkeeper Timothy B. Schmit, but the folks at Atlantic Records pretty much told ‘em they had to get Crosby or the album wasn’t happening. Crosby and Nash tried to hold their ground, even paying for the recording sessions out-of-pocket, but eventually relented and asked Crosby to join the project. Personally, my imagery goes straight to Crosby in a Hawaiian shirt, being dragged on his back by his ponytail into the studio while eating a slice of pizza, never quite realizing what’s happening, and the scary thing is that it might not be far from the truth.

For all that I love harmony and acoustic music, I’ve never been much of a CSN fan. One of the guitarists in my band is always asking me why I don’t care for CSN, so I was excited to tell him that I actually like this one. You know what he said? “Oh, that one’s so wimpy.” I said, “…As opposed to what?” Either way, I do think this is a nice song. I think the instrumentation on the studio version is pretty much unnecessary; I like this live version from 1982 instead. You really do get the sense that Crosby has no idea where the hell he is. Check out the part where he makes the “shhh” motion, either to an already-quiet audience or the goblins doing a rain dance in his head. It doesn’t matter, though; they sound fantastic.

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Friday, August 14th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 8/18/90

by Jason Hare

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Hi, everybody! Welcome back to another edition of CHART ATTACK! So I’m assuming that every single one of you sat at your computers two Fridays ago, furiously refreshing my Twitter page to follow my exciting adventures at the Jack Wagner concert. What? You didn’t? You guys are jerks. That’s the last time I invite you to…watch me do something. Well, here it is in a nutshell: my two-hour drive wound up taking five hours in the rain and traffic. I showed up halfway through the show, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I shouted for “Right Here Waiting” when he asked for requests and Jeff hit me. Then, he played “All I Need,” and…well, if you haven’t read it already, check out Jeff’s awesome account of the evening.

Anyway, last time we met here, we covered a summer week in 1992. I was convinced there were better weeks within the decade to be found. Let’s see if you agree — here’s the chart for the week ending August 18, 1990!

10. King of Wishful Thinking — Go West Amazon iTunes
9. Cradle of Love — Billy Idol Amazon iTunes
8. Have You Seen Her — M.C. Hammer Amazon iTunes
7. Do Me! — Bell Biv Devoe Amazon iTunes
6. Blaze of Glory — Jon Bon Jovi Amazon iTunes
5. Unskinny Bop — Poison Amazon iTunes
4. The Power — Snap! Amazon iTunes
3. If Wishes Came True — Sweet Sensation Amazon iTunes
2. Come Back to Me — Janet Jackson Amazon iTunes
1. Vision of Love — Mariah Carey Amazon iTunes

10. King of Wishful Thinking — Go West

I’m having a serious debate with myself right now. Do I admit to you that I really like this song a lot? That if it comes on the Lite-FM radio station, I totally won’t turn it off? And after that, do I admit to you that the first compact disc I ever owned was the Pretty Woman soundtrack, followed by Richard Marx’s Repeat Offender? Because if I tell you these things, you might think less of me, and I don’t want you to think less of me. So okay, I won’t tell you. Problem solved.

Go West, consisting of Richard Drummie and Peter Cox, was formed in England in 1982. Although they had a number of hits in their native country, the duo literally hovered around the Top 40 before 1990: “We Close Our Eyes” reached #41 (you can find out more about the single by checking out either Popdose series White Label Wednesday or Bottom Feeders) and “Don’t Look Down — The Sequel” reached #39, leading me to wonder how anybody hits the Top 40 with the word “sequel” in the title. (Only one other artist has done it — if you know who, shout it out in the comments!) It wasn’t until veteran A&R exec and producer Ron Fair included the song on the Pretty Woman soundtrack that Go West received their moment in the spotlight. “King” peaked at #8 and received an ASCAP award as well. You may recall one other Go West song, “Faithful,” aka “King of Wishful Thinking  — The Sequel,” which reached #14 in 1992. Both songs were written by Drummie and Cox in collaboration with Martin Page, the man behind “In the House of Stone and Light.” Go West are still together, although Peter Cox has released a few solo albums — including one that contains his cover of “What a Fool Believes.”

9. Cradle of Love — Billy Idol

If you were watching MTV in the early part of the decade, surely you remember the huge news of Billy Idol’s motorcycle accident: in February of 1990, Idol ran a red light while on his Harley and was hit by a car. He almost lost his right leg; he wound up having a steel rod inserted instead. Billy’s album, Charmed Life and the single, “Cradle of Love,” ended up serving as “comeback” releases for him. They might have been determined as such anyway, as he hadn’t released a truly new album since 1986’s Whiplash Smile and hadn’t released a single since 1987’s live version of “Mony Mony,” from the remix album Vital Idol. The hype surrounding his return to the industry, coupled with inclusion in an overrated movie (The Adventures of Ford Fairlaine) and a tremendously hot video (directed by David Fincher) all helped the song reach #2 in early August. Billy hasn’t reached the Top 40 since then.

Now here’s the bad news: Billy lost two movie roles as a result of his accident. You may have heard about the first one — his role in Oliver Stone’s The Doors was significantly reduced since he couldn’t really walk. But the second role he lost?

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I’m not kidding you. Billy Idol was James Cameron’s first choice to play T-1000 in Terminator 2. It’s totally true!

8. Have You Seen Her — M.C. Hammer

Okay, look. I understand that “U Can’t Touch This” was a huge hit. I’d even call it a deservedly huge hit. It’s awesome. The only thing wrong with it is that it gave Rick James more money for blow. But just because one song is a hit doesn’t automatically mean that every song after it should be given a free pass. This song is just terrible. Absolutely terrible. And even worse, it reached #4, beating “U Can’t Touch This” by four spots. How does “Have You Seen Her” beat “U Can’t Touch This”? This is bullshit. I’m glad he went broke.

I’m not just randomly bitching here. I can back this up.

Jason’s Top Three Reasons Why “Have You Seen Her” Sucks (more…)

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Friday, July 31st, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 8/1/92

by Jason Hare

nullWelcome back, everyone, to another edition of CHART ATTACK! Before we get to this week’s Top 10, I’d like to remind you all that Jeff Giles, Michael Parr and I will all be at Mohegun Sun tonight for the Jack Wagner concert. In fact, I’m pretty sure Jeff might actually be there at this very moment, dreaming of Jack Wagner singing to him interviewing fans that will supposedly be waiting on line all day for tickets.

If you happen to be somewhere near Uncasville, CT tonight, and you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time, then you’re free to join us. Michael and I are bringing our wives, so if you spot two ladies in the casino weeping about the cruelty of marriage, you know we’re right around the corner. If you can’t make it (lucky you!), you can follow me on Twitter and read my up-to-the-minute recounts of what is sure to be the event of the century evening. I promise to tweet at the very second a tear falls down Jeff’s cheek.

Anyway, on to the chart! Two weeks ago, we covered a summer week in 1974, and I received some very nice comments from people reminiscing of their childhoods. So this is the week where I completely ruin all that nostalgia and hit a current year — well, current for this series, anyway. Here we go, attackin’ August 1, 1992!

10. Wishing On a Star — The Cover Girls Amazon iTunes
9. Giving Him Something He Can Feel — En Vogue Amazon iTunes
8. End of the Road — Boyz II Men Amazon iTunes
7. Life Is a Highway — Tom Cochrane Amazon iTunes
6. November Rain — Guns N’ Roses Amazon iTunes
5. Just Another Day — Jon Secada Amazon iTunes
4. Achy Breaky Heart — Billy Ray Cyrus Amazon iTunes
3. Baby-Baby-Baby — TLC Amazon iTunes
2. This Used To Be My Playground — Madonna Amazon iTunes
1. Baby Got Back — Sir Mix-A-Lot Amazon iTunes

10. Wishing On a Star — The Cover Girls

Here’s the first of three covers on this week’s chart. “Wishing On a Star” was originally recorded by Rose Royce in 1978, though it had very little success in the US — it was the Cover Girls version that has seen the most chart action, peaking at #9. Since then, it’s been covered by a number of artists, most notably Beyoncé. And I don’t understand it at all, because I really find this song terribly boring. If you don’t remember it, don’t worry about it; you’re not missing anything. Besides, everybody knows the Cover Girls’ best song was “Show Me,” followed closely by “Because of You.” These two songs are still played on NY radio all the time. (By the way, that clip of “Show Me” looks like it’s from a local public-access cable channel. Worth watching at least 30 seconds just to see if Robin Byrd is going to show up.)

9. Giving Him Something He Can Feel — En Vogue (download)

I don’t miss most of the artists on this Top 10. I’ll be just fine if I never hear from the Cover Girls again, as well as…hang on, let me count…at least five of the other artists on this chart (unless Sir Mix-A-Lot comes up with something brilliant). But I genuinely miss En Vogue — specfically, I miss En Vogue hanging around on the charts. They’re still together, although you need some kind of graduate degree to figure out the complicated soap opera of who left, who stayed, who re-joined and who didn’t. I can’t think of a popular En Vogue song that I don’t like (though I could do without the “Who’s Loving You” opening to “Hold On,” but that’s a story for another chart). Each of the women had phenomenal voices and impeccable harmonies, and I’m assuming from the live clips I’ve seen that they did most of it without a lot of fancy studio tricks.

“Giving Him Something He Can Feel” is a cover of a Curtis Mayfield song from 1976, composed for the movie Sparkle. Here’s the original from the film, sung by Sister & the Sisters, with Lonette McKee on lead vocal, and Irene Cara and Dwan Smith on backing vocals.

On the soundtrack, however, the song was performed by Aretha Franklin, who took it to #28. En Vogue brought their beautiful version to #6, produced by the group’s creators, Thomas McElroy and Denzil Foster, who had previously been members of Club Nouveau and had produced for Timex Social Club and Tony! Toni! Toné!, to name a few.

8. End of the Road — Boyz II Men

Boyz II Men: Great singers, extremely tight harmonies, great feel for R&B, can’t get arrested these days. I don’t know what happened, exactly, although it seems like Motown essentially buried them after conflicts between the label and the group. But back to better times: “End of the Road” was a massive, massive hit. It spent 13 weeks at #1, which broke a record held up until that point by Elvis Presley. Of course, Whitney Houston beat it by a week just two weeks later with “I Will Always Love You,” but Boyz II Men tied it with “I’ll Make Love to You” shortly after. So yeah. Massive hit. It was written by the powerhouse team of Babyface, L.A. Reid and Daryl Simmons, intended for a specific scene in Eddie Murphy’s Oscar-winning Boomerang. (Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.) Babyface considered keeping it for himself, but instead gave it to the guys, who recorded it in under four hours. Reid and Babyface also produced the song, but that doesn’t help me figure out who to blame for the two things that drive me nuts here: (more…)

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Friday, July 17th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 7/20/74

by Jason Hare

Hi again, everyone! Thanks for all the fantastic comments on the all-Michael Jackson edition of CHART ATTACK! Did you notice that Motown jumped all over his death and released Michael Jackson: The Stripped Mixes? And it’s scary to think that this is only the tip of the iceberg. But that’s all I’m going to say about it — I’m all MJ’d out and I imagine you are, too — so this week, let’s go back a full 35 years and see what was at the top of the charts for the week ending July 20, 1974!

10. If You Love Me (Let Me Know) — Olivia Newton-John  Amazon
9. The Air That I Breathe — The Hollies Amazon iTunes
8. You Won’t See Me — Anne Murray  Amazon iTunes
7. Rikki Don’t Lose That Number — Steely Dan Amazon iTunes
6. Rock the Boat — The Hues Corporation Amazon iTunes
5. On and On — Gladys Knight & the Pips Amazon iTunes
4. Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me — Elton John Amazon iTunes
3. Rock and Roll Heaven — The Righteous Brothers  Amazon
2. Annie’s Song — John Denver Amazon iTunes
1. Rock Your Baby — George McCrae Amazon iTunes

10. If You Love Me (Let Me Know) — Olivia Newton-John

This song is a pretty simple pop-twinged country tune (it peaked at #2 on the Country chart and remains her highest charting song there), and is a fine vehicle for ONJ’s beautiful voice. However, the choruses feature a backing vocal by what can only be described as a drunk bullfrog. There are a number of voices joining in behind Olivia on the chorus, but this guy is just way lower (and louder in the mix) than the others, and it sounds odd. I mean, clearly it was done to achieve a certain feel, but I just can’t get behind it. What I can get behind, though, is any clip of Olivia Newton-John, ever, because she is SO DAMN CUTE.

9. The Air That I Breathe — The Hollies

I really love this song. For me, it’ll always be one of those songs that just transcends time and genre. That being said, it’s a cover fave for many “light” artists: Barry Manilow, k.d. lang, Air Supply, Judy Collins…the list goes on. The Hollies version is actually a cover itself; it was co-written by Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood and recorded by Hammond in 1972. Phil Everly covered it in 1973, and in 1974 the Hollies had, by far, the greatest success with it, reaching #6. It wound up being the last of their numerous top 10 hits. I like Hammond’s original version, and I’m also partial to a cover by Semisonic; those links will take you to the excellent Coverville podcast where I heard both for the first time.

I was thinking about including a clip of the Hollies performing the song, but then I’d be turning down a perfectly good opportunity to look at Olivia Newton-John again. So here’s her cover.

8. You Won’t See Me — Anne Murray

Aw, crap. Who the hell asked for this? Did the Beatles split affect us so much that we just allowed any cover to reach the Top 10? When Paul sang it, he had irritation in his voice; I don’t know if Anne Murray has ever sounded irritated in her whole life. She gets rid of the awesome “ooh la la la” backing vocals, and confuses the listener by featuring a somewhat funky fade-in, creating a vibe that is completely eliminated by the time she starts to sing. And yet, according to the liner notes of her greatest hits album, Lennon apparently told Murray that her cover was his favorite Beatles cover. Like, ever. If this is true, then clearly John had a soft spot for Captain & Tennille, because this track sounds like it was ripped right off of them. In fact, I’m unconvinced that this isn’t actually a C&T track with Murray singing over it.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…check out those shoulder pads!

(more...)

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