Happy Gay Pride!

I mean, really. This just may be the gayest post ever on Popdose, and that’s coming from the guy who does a feature called Phagz on 45 each week. You’ve probably heard of this legendarily awful album that combines the gayest of the gay — show tunes, Ethel Merman’s distinctively campy delivery, and, of course, disco. All that was missing was a complimentary bottle of poppers.

So, who was responsible for this mess? We can probably excuse Merman, who was 70 years old at the time of recording and who, rumor has it, recorded her vocals with nothing but a piano accompaniment, the disco-fied backing tracks added later. Can we blame A&M Records, the label that actually unleashed this upon the world, thinking it might move a few copies? Perhaps we should place the blame on producer/arranger Peter Matz, who in the liner notes thanks executive producer Kip Cohen “for having such a good idea.” Aha! Kip! Oh, Kip, so much to answer for.

So, what’s the album like? Um, pretty much Ethel Merman singing her standards with a generic disco beat and strings tacked on. Take a listen to the beginning of “There’s No Business Like Show Business” (download) then “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” (download) and tell me they don’t start off exactly the same. The entire album sounds like this … at least what I’ve been able to get through before whipping the needle off in an act of self-preservation. This makes Paul Lynde look like John Wayne in Rooster Cogburn.

Just to prove the Merm was still lucid when she recorded this, here she is promoting the album on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Money quote by Johnny: “I hope it’s not too much of a hit for you!” No worries there, Johnny. And hey, check out Albert Brooks next to Ethel on the panel! (more…)

Popularity: 10% [?]

With the exception of Bowie and a couple of can’t-be-denied hits from the Sweet and T. Rex, American radio just had no time for glam rock. While the U.K. was bursting at the seams with glam hits from Hello, Mott the Hoople, Racey and Sailor, the States were mired in Seals & Crofts, Blue Swede and Helen Reddy hell. Perhaps the payola wasn’t high enough, perhaps radio programmers were terrified of men in eyeliner (unless it was done with a horror feel, a la Alice Cooper), but for whatever reason, many huge U.K. bands and hits never got a shot here. One of those was “Dyna-Mite” (download) by Mud.

Originally written by Mike Chapman and Nicky Chinn for the Sweet, “Dyna-Mite” was rejected by that group and ended up in the hands of fellow glitter rockers Hello. But Chapman/Chinn snatched it back from Hello and delivered it to Mud, who had been knocking around for a few years with minimal success. “Dyna-Mite” changed all that, becoming a massive Top 10 hit. There’s no question why — it’s a classic C&C stomper, full of the handclaps, high harmonies and tasty hooks that would score the songwriting duo countless hits throughout the ’70s. Yet the single and Mud never even got a U.S. label interested.

A short year later, C&C and Mud would score an even bigger hit with the massive “Tiger Feet,” a song that definitely laid the groundwork for the Sweet’s “Ballroom Blitz.” “Tiger Feet” spent four weeks at the top of the charts in the U.K., eventually becoming the biggest selling single of 1974. (more…)

Popularity: 10% [?]

The ’70s were the golden age of the double A-side single, a curious little thing where a record company would release a single and promote both sides to radio, all in an effort to get listeners to trade up to the full album since, hey, two good songs on this 45, so why not? But for every “We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions,” where both sides got equal acclaim, there were dozens more where one side was just a liiiittle better and got much more airplay. That’s the case with today’s entry, Ringo Starr’s double A-side single, “No No Song/Snookeroo.”

Plucked from Ringo’s fourth album, Goodnight Vienna, both songs were strong as Ringo tunes go, but it was “No No Song,” with its “no, no, no, I don’t *sniff* no mo‘” refrain that won the hearts of radio programmers and most of the public. Oldies radio stations still play it often — in fact, I heard it last week on Sirius Classic Vinyl. But I prefer the flip side, “Snookeroo” (download), an Elton John/Bernie Taupin composition that sounds just like, well, a John/Taupin song. Elton even plays piano on the rocking track, which sounds like it could have been plucked right off Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, released that same year.

While “No No Song” is one of those typical Ringo songs (by that I don’t mean it was written by Ringo, just that it was a country-flavored number bordering on novelty, like “Octopus’s Garden” or “Oh, My My”), but “Snookeroo’s” rollicking tale of a pool hall cad born the eve of Halloween has a “Crocodile Rock” feel that lifts it above the normal Ringo fare. Some radio stations did play the two in a row at the time, but most chose to spotlight “No No Song,” leaving poor “Snookeroo” lost in the ’70s.

Tangentally related observation: My favorite Stuttering John (former celebrity interviewer for the Howard Stern Show) moment was when he asked Ringo what he “(did) with the money” (What money? “The money your mother gave you for singing lessons”) and if it was difficult writing “It Don’t Come Easy.”

“Snookeroo” peaked at #3 on the Billboard Pop Singles Chart in 1975 as part of a double A-side with “No No Song.”

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Popularity: 11% [?]

With long tails and ears for hats, Josie and the Pussycats, created by Archie Comics genius Dan DeCarlo, debuted on Saturday morning TV screens everywhere in 1970 with a show copied straight from Scooby Doo, Where Are You? You had your weekly mystery, a wacky pet sidekick (in Josie’s case, it was the sorta evil cat Sebastian) and a chase scene punctuated by catchy pop songs. What Josie had that Scooby didn’t was a “real” band and a record album.

Part of Hanna-Barbera’s plans for the show was to assemble a real-life Josie and the Pussycats to record all the songs and eventually tour. After seeing hundreds of women, the line-up was finally decided - Cathy Dougher (”Josie”), Patrice Holloway (”Valerie” and sister of Brenda Holloway), and Cherie Moor (”Melody,” or as you might know her from her later stage name, Cheryl Ladd). The vocal trio was given top-notch material to work with, somewhat derivative of what was topping the charts at the time, but a step above what normally passed for music on Saturday morning cartoons.

Capitol Records released Josie and the Pussycats in late 1970, paired with the single, “Every Beat Of My Heart (Single Version)” (download), co-written by none other than Monkees hitmaker Bobby Hart. Holloway sings lead on this track, a Carpenters-esque lightweight bubblegum tune, but that didn’t stop her from belting out a great performance. Unfortunately, it failed to follow The Archies up the charts.

Capitol tried again with “Stop, Look And Listen (Single Version)” (download) - this time, Ladd took the lead. If it sounds somewhat familiar, that’s because it’s a shameless rip-off of the Jackson 5’s “ABC.” Shameless, yes, but still irresistible. Trivia note - while Ladd sings lead on the album, Holloway sings lead in the version used on the cartoon: (more…)

Popularity: 13% [?]

No, it’s not Tuesday again, and your eyes are not deceiving you. While considered by most to be an ’80s band, the Motels’ self-titled debut actually came out in 1979. Filled with Martha Davis’ trademark yearning vocals, the album got a bit of a slow start in the States as the first single, “Closets and Bullets,” did nothing for the band’s profile. The second single, however, scored the band a Top Ten hit in Australia and Top 20 in France.

“Total Control” (download) is a smoldering, yearning tune, full of desire mixed with a bit of rage as Davis wishes for a modicum of dominance over her lover. Well, not a “modicum,” but “total control.” Sort of an important distinction there. Davis’ delivery is fraught with emotion as the song builds the tension, but instead of an explosion, we get more of a sense of surrender as the saxophone kicks in. Whether it was too subtle or just plain too long (five minutes plus) for American radio, the song’s failure to break the band was a tragic loss.

Here’s the band in 1979 performing the tune on German TV’s Musikladen. I love this performance for two reasons — Martha’s cig burnt down nearly to the butt (catch the final drag she takes off it after the first verse) and the submissive position she takes during the sax solo that on the surface completely contradicts the lyrics, yet illustrates the song’s desperation perfectly. (more…)

Popularity: 13% [?]

In 1979, Donna Summer could do no wrong — she was, in fact, riding high with three Top Ten hits in a row. So no one blinked when Summer and collaborators Giorgio Moroder and Pete Bellotte decided her next album would be her third double-LP release in a row, an opus packed with 15 extended songs. Once Bad Girls was unleashed, Summer immediately notched two Number One hits in a row with the more-rock-than-disco “Hot Stuff” and the record’s title track. “Dim All the Lights” very nearly followed those singles to the top, stalling at number two for two weeks. After dominating radio all year with Bad Girls, Summer had yet another number one in ‘79 with a one-off duet with Barbra Streisand, “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough).” Summer fever was high.

So high that even album tracks from Bad Girls were being pulled for radio and club play. “Sunset People” (download) was the last song on the album, a closing ode to Los Angeles nightlife (giving shout-outs to the Rainbow Bar & Grill, the Riot House and the Whisky) that was huge in the clubs and even crossed over to some Top 40 radio stations. Full of sequencers and drummer Keith Forsey’s metronome foot, the bubbly synth number recalls Moroder’s work with Sparks that same year, particularly “The Number One Song in Heaven.” I have vivid memories of “Sunset People” being a staple on Cleveland’s Disco 92, our local dance station that went all disco for about a year or two in the late ’70s. Of course, I was only four years old in 1979, so I’m mostly going by sense memory here. Honest. Ahem.

Summer was so hot that year, she even got her own TV special to promote Bad Girls, complete with über-campy dance numbers and “visualizations” of the songs. Check out this performance of “Sunset People” with Donna playing multiple roles, including a homeless woman. Make sure you stay tuned after that to see her do a live vocal for “Bad Girls” dressed as the flyest New Wave hooker ever! And waitaminnit! Is that Twiggy and Debralee Scott, aka “Hotsy Totsy” from Welcome Back, Kotter as two of the ladies of the night? Why, it is! And if that’s not enough star power for ya, how about Pat Ast? (more…)

Popularity: 17% [?]

“Hey kid,” the strange voice whispered from the dark alley of cyberspace. “C’mere, I got somethin’ for ya.”

I looked around to make sure this raspy utterance was actually directed at me. Since I was the only person sitting at my computer, I was pretty sure it was. I squinted to look deeper into the e-mail. It was Popdose’s own Mojo Flucke. “You’ll like this, kid. Trust me.”

Uh oh.

“Here’s a DJ-only remix of Meco’s disco version of the ‘Star Wars’ theme,” Flucke hissed, sliding over an MP3 wrapped tightly in tinfoil. He must have seen the mixture of concern and horror on my face. “Don’t worry,” he tried to assure me, “it won’t hurt ya. G’wan. Try it.” Then his voice took on a soft, singsong-y tone. “Might make a good ‘Lost in the ’70s…!’”

Released among a torrent of other “Star Wars” ripoff themes in 1977, Meco’s medley of the “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” was the biggest hit of them all for the simple reason that it was the most well crafted. Sure it’s cheesy, with its disco strings, robot and laser sound effects and explosions, but it’s well-made cheese, like a smelly, extra blue-veiny roquefort. Keep in mind, Meco was the same guy who arranged Tommy James’ “Crystal Blue Persuasion” and produced Gloria Gaynor’s “Never Can Say Goodbye.” Not a bad cheese-crafting pedigree. But like all other border novelty hits, it’s one that gets rare, if any, airplay on classic pop stations these days, despite selling over two million copies.

So thanks, Flucke, for today’s slice of cheese, Meco’s DJ-only promo version of “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” (download).

But right now I need another hit’a somethin’. I know there’s a baggie of “Close Encounters Theme” around here somewhere.

“Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” peaked at #1 on the Billboard Pop Singles Chart, #8 on the Black Singles Chart and #6 on the Club Play Singles Chart in 1977.

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Popularity: 16% [?]

Discovery = Disco? Very!

That was the joke around rock critic circles when Electric Light Orchestra unleashed Discovery upon a disco-obsessed public in 1979. With the singles “Shine a Little Love” and the more-rock-stomp-than-disco “Don’t Bring Me Down” cracking the Top 10, the album, lambasted critically as a complete sell-out for the once Beatles-worshiping band, found plenty of favor with music buyers.

The record was so popular that a third single, “Confusion” (download), was released, a relative rarity in those days. Probably the least disco song on an unashamedly disco album, the straight-ahead rock ballad is awash in tinkly keys and a synthesized woodwind instrumental hook that sounds suspiciously like something Wings would do (imagine that). Jeff Lynne did his usual vocal stacking to excellent melodic effect, but the song failed to move up any further than a wimpy #37, surprising since the album’s previous single topped out at #4. “Confusion” has become somewhat of a forgotten ELO hit, not garnering the after-the-fact acclaim that other similar charting ELO singles like “Mr. Blue Sky” have attained in the years since.

This wasn’t the end of the road for Discovery, however, since a fourth single, “Last Train to London,” probably the most disco song on the record, was released. It charted even more dismally, squeaking in at #39 for one measly week at the start of 1980 — that’s why it’s not featured in this post (the single sleeve pictured above is the UK version of the single, which was released as a double A-side with “Confusion”). Rules is rules, people!

“Confusion” peaked at #37 on the Billboard Pop Singles Chart in 1979.

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Popularity: 14% [?]

She’s Edwina Monsoon’s idea of God and for a short time in the ’70s, a lot of European pop fans felt the same way. Detroit native Suzi Quatro blasted onto the U.K. glam rock scene in 1973, armed with her own brand of bubblegum hard rock, plenty of attitude and some seriously skintight leather jumpsuits. Her debut American single, a remake of Elvis Presley’s “All Shook Up” (download) was one of the first 45s I owned, and I spent many hours staring at that Bell Records logo spinning round and round as I played it again and again.

But it was when she teamed with Sweet hitmakers Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman that Quatro become a pop force to be reckoned with, with sugary sweet songs like “Can the Can” and “48 Crash” (download) taking over the British charts. Yet Suzi couldn’t get arrested on American radio — perhaps we weren’t ready for a confident female rocker yet. The Runaways encountered the same resistance, but one member, Joan Jett, definitely took some Suzi cues: (more…)

Popularity: 14% [?]

The double A-side single had a nice little streak in the late ’70s; Queen alone had two. But one of my favorites didn’t chart nearly as high, and one of its sides became far more well-known than the other.

ABBA never replicated their Beatlemania-level European pop success in America, but the quartet scored a big hit now and then, and 1979 was no exception, when “Does Your Mother Know,” the lead single from Voulez-Vous, became a Top 40 hit. When it came time for the follow-up, “Angeleyes” (download) was paired with the album’s title track as a double A-side single, with the former being the focus. Funny thing happened, though, as radio programmers and dance clubs focused instead on “Voulez-Vous,” which fit into the disco scene quite nicely. “Voulez-Vous” eventually made the track list for the zillion-selling ABBA Gold, even though it charted at a paltry #80 in America.

(more…)

Popularity: 14% [?]