Here’s a catchy (and very ’80s) theme for DK himself. One note about the song: I don’t know whyit speeds up like that. The record isn’t warped (although some of the people involved with the record might be). I think it’s supposed to remind you of when the game gets faster and faster. Or the original version was warped when it was recorded and transferred to the record in the same condition. This is already more time than I’ve spent in years worrying about Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong Theme

The story opens with the circus coming to town with Donkey Kong as one of its attractions. He used to be part of the zoo, until the zoo closed down and he was sold to the circus. The circus truck passes by the old site of the zoo, now torn down. DK goes there, reminisces, and escapes from the circus truck to head to the construction site. This goes into a song called “The Climber,” which really has nothing whatsoever to do with DK himself. It could just as easily have been a song about Spider-Man.

The Climber

A young lady named Pauline tries to stop him, whereupon he grabs her and takes her to the top of the construction scaffolding. The narrator explained that DK meant Pauline no harm. He just remembered her feeding him at the zoo. Yeah, right. The next song, sung by a Christopher Cross soundalike (Boy, I bet that was a lucrative business!) is called “On Top of the World.” Again, it really has nothing to do with Donkey Kong. It’s just some guy that sings, “I’ll never be the one to run because I’m sitting on top of the world.” If you understand what that means, let me know.

On Top of the World

OK, now the story starts picking up. The narrator calls out to Mario (who delivers pizzas for a living and speaks in a cheesy Italian accent that would put Father Guido Sarducci to shame) to rescue Pauline, who also happens to be Mario’s pizza delivery girl. Mario would visit Donkey Kong at the zoo too, so the narrator knows that DK wouldn’t harm him. He goes to climb the scaffolding, whereupon the big ape throws barrels of oil down at Mario. According to the narrator, Donkey Kong just wants to play catch with Mario. Great advice there, Ms. Narrator! The singers tell Mario to “Jump Up,” which I guess was appropriate considering that that was about all he was able to do in the game. I also like the guy early on that shouts, “Hey! What’s going on?” in an incredibly annoying voice.

Jump Up

Well, as I’m sure you guessed, Mario saves Pauline and, to reward Donkey Kong, declares that the top of the building become a zoo for him. That’s just what the city needs: a two-ton gorilla living on the top twenty floors of a multi-story building. Can you say, “Lawsuit in the making”? Anyway, here’s the song the townspeople sing to Mario, their hero, where they try to rhyme “Mario” with “Smiley-o.” I do like the harmonies on the “M-A-R-I-O-Ki-Yay” part though.

Mario Delivers

So that’s the story of Donkey Kong. If you want the entire album it can be found here. I thought it was interesting how they tried their best to make Donkey Kong himself out to be just a poor misunderstood gorilla that was homesick for the zoo. That was never the impression I got from playing the game. How about you? And how come all cartoon Italians either make pizza or work for the Mafia? These questions will probably not be answered in the next “Way Out Wednesday”!

Hello My Name Is Clyde

Clyde falls in love with a girl named Phyllis, who he meets at the club. Phyllis loves him as well, but alas, their love is not to be because of their size difference. You see, Phyllis is an ant! (See, I told you it was strange!)

The Sad Love Affair of Clyde and Phyllis

Phyllis spurns Clyde’s advances, so he volunteers to be shot into space after hearing that the space program was looking for volunteers, “height and weight don’t matter.” (Apparently the qualifications have changed since the time of Space Pilot Jones!)

I’m Off to Cape Kennedy

When Clyde’s rocket lands on the Moon, he hears a strange voice. It’s the Man in the Moon, and he wants to eat Clyde(!) After he tells the Man in the Moon of his plight, he takes pity on the poor pachyderm and promises to think of a way that Clyde and Phyllis can get back together. The next morning, the Man in the Moon wakes up Clyde and tells him his idea: the two lovebirds can live in space. That way they would both be weightless and there wouldn’t be any danger of Clyde crushing tiny Phyllis!

Wake Up Clyde! I’ve Got Good News for You

Clyde rushes back to Earth to tell Phyllis the news, she loves the idea, and the two go off to live among the stars. (I would have put a Spoiler Alert here, but they give away the ending on the album cover!)

We’ll Float in Space Together

This really is a neat bubblegum-tinged album. In fact, the guy playing Clyde sounds very familiar to me. Can anybody here place him? As always, if you want the entire album, you can find it here!

Now, at first glance, you might think this would be just another compilation of horror-themed hits that came out every Halloween, featuring familiar songs like the umpteenth recording of “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett, all “endorsed” by Freddy Krueger himself. That is where you would be wrong. What we have is an album featuring something called the Elm Street Group, doing some ’80s pop-type songs about Freddy’s exploits. The fun part here, though, is classic songs that feature Freddy Krueger himself, and those are the songs we’ll be featuring here for your Halloweening pleasure.

First we have “In the Midnight Hour.” Not a lot of participation from Freddy on this one, probably because he sounds like he doesn’t know whether to say “you and me” or “you and I.”

In the Midnight Hour

Next comes the Everly Brothers classic “All I Have to Do Is Dream.” We get a bit more of Freddy here. He even sings “drea-ea-am” in a delightfully creepy way. Boy, that really takes the song in a whole different direction, doesn’t it?

All I Have to Do Is Dream

Now things start getting crazy, with this remake of the Freddie and the Dreamers’ hit “Do the Freddy.” They at least change up some of the words to make it as applicable as possible to Freddy Krueger.

Do the Freddy

Finally here’s my favorite, just because it’s so out of left field: “Wooly Bully.” I guess it’s because Freddy wears a wool sweater and is sort of a bully, I don’t know. But it’s still fun to hear him doing the song with such enthusiasm!

Wooly Bully

If you’d like this entire album, you can find it here. Have a great Halloween, everybody!

The song that starts out the festivities is “With a Great Big Noise Like Thunder,” which talks about how loud the rocket will be when it zooms into space. But don’t worry, no matter how fast it goes, cameras will catch everything. There’s some narration after the song that I was going to cut out, but I decided not to because it’s kind of charming to hear somebody talk about landing on the moon in future tense. I also like how he keeps referring to the satellite in the rocket as a “man-made moon.”

With a Great Big Noise Like Thunder

In “Meet Space Pilot Jones,” we learn that our astronaut is extremely smart and is between 5’ 2” and 5’ 10” tall. I don’t remember a specific height requirement once we got the real guys into space, but it would make a lot of sense. We also find that his space suit makes him look like a barrel. Not the look you want to pull off if you run into some foxy space ladies!

Meet Space Pilot Jones

Next we have “The Story of the Planets,” which is a fun calypso song about how the planets revolve around the Sun. This is back when Pluto was still in the Planet Club. The narrator even talks about new planets being “billions and billions” of miles away, long before Carl Sagan copped that phrase.

The Story of the Planets

“Put a Penny in the Scale” helps you learn that you will weigh differently on different planets, (that is of course if you don’t burn up or freeze when you get there). And if you can even find a coin-operated scale any more, chances are putting a penny in it will just end up losing your penny.

Put a Penny in the Scale

Finally, this song explains that the distance between the Earth and the Moon is the same as “50 Round Trips” from New York to California. However, the rocket to the moon can go seven miles a second, which is a bit faster than the posted speed limits for the car trip.

50 Round Trips

I hope you enjoyed this one. Like I said before, I thought it was kind of cool to hear people fantasizing about something we barely think about any more. As always, if you’d like the entire album, it can be found here.

The first song here takes its title from the name of the concert tour, Coming Out of Their Shells. This sounds like some sort of acoustic Bon Jovi reject. And, while I don’t know if he was involved with this, the lead singer sounds to me like “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart.

Coming Out of Their Shells

Next we have “Pizza Power,” a song that was so identified with the Heroes in a Half Shell that it was used in the arcade game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time.

Pizza Power

Now for the song that most kids probably skipped: April O’Neil’s “April Ballad.” It was probably put in the show in case the kids needed a bathroom break or something from the concession stand. I’ve decided to do the same favor for you. Don’t worry, she’ll probably still be singing when you get back.

April Ballad

I’ll end this sample of songs with “Cowabunga,” a word that the Turtles (and Bart Simpson) helped put in every little kid’s vocabulary back then. You get to hear these rad reptiles rap about each other. It’s kind of goofy, but it’s better than anything Vanilla Ice put out.

Cowabunga

If you’d like the whole thing, it’s waiting for you here!

I promised a surprise at the end, and here it is. Not only did the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tour the U.S. with their concert, but they also filmed it! Here are some clips of the concert from Radio City Music Hall.

This is the start of the tape, where you’ll see the guys come out to maddening applause. They also do “Coming Out of Their Shells.” This is where you hear Splinter (who looks especially creepy here) talk about how music is more powerful than any weapon. Nice job trying to make the Turtles more acceptable to parents, guys. Besides, that only works against Blue Meanies.

Here’s a clip of them doing the song “Pizza Power.” In case you forgot the sponsor of the tour, take a gander at the dancers and the pizza boxes they’re carrying.

Here they are being interrupted by members of the Foot Clan, who they subdue with some particularly wussy fighting moves. This does the job until arch-villain Shredder appears on the scene, causing them to fall in a hole that, had they been able to see out of their masks better, they could have seen outlined on the stage.

On this last clip from the show, zip ahead to about four minutes in and observe Shredder heckling the audience! Best line: “Is that your Mom? How would you like a one-way ticket to my Technodrome?” (I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds dirty.)

For our bonus clip, here’s the Turtles and April appearing on Live! With Regis and Kathie Lee. Enjoy!

See you next time with another installment of Way Out Wednesday!

The first song we’ll feature here is the Sam & Dave/Blues Brothers classic “Soul Man.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song pushed so hard when it’s sung. Apparently, Squirrely thinks “soul” translates to “Sing like you’re constipated.”

Soul Man

Next, SS&M reveal their country side with “The Gambler,” an odd pick since Alvin, Simon, and Theodore covered the same song on Urban Chipmunk, although they changed a few words — “soda” instead of “whiskey,” and instead of bumming a cigarette, the gambler “asked for a Twinkie, and offered me a bite.” I guess SS&M get extra points for performing the song as written. Their version also features special guest star Denny Richards. (Never heard of him. Have you?)

The Gambler

Continuing in a country vein, we have the classic “Mercedes Benz.” This one was a little tricky since the song is sung a cappella, but the rodents actually do a pretty good job here.

Mercedes Benz

Here’s an original song: “I Like Reggae Too.” Was reggae making that big of a comeback in 1981? The song is also notable for name-checking the Rolling Stones, Blondie, and the Beatles.

I Like Reggae Too

And finally, speaking of the Beatles, here’s “Get Back,” a song that missed out on being included in the Beatles covers compilation at Popdose a few weeks ago. (Somehow I don’t think any of you missed it!)

Get Back

And as always, if you want to hear the entire album, you can find it here!

As you may have gathered from the title, it’s a live album. Okay, so the “live” element is just applause and audience noise added to the mix in the studio, because you can’t stage a live rock concert with musicians in animal costumes. Or can you? Tune in next week for another Way Out Wednesday and find out!

Friends is a TV tie-in album by Johnny Whitaker, best known for playing Jody on the sitcom Family Affair (1966-’71). After doing guest shots on other shows and a couple of Disney movies, including 1972’s Napoleon and Samantha with Jodie Foster, he landed the role of Johnny (how convenient!) on Sid and Marty Krofft’s Saturday-morning children’s show Sigmund and the Sea Monsters (1973-’75). I guess he became a preteen heartthrob, because here he is posing on the Friends album cover almost topless! Anyway, on to the songs …

The first track is one of the themes to Sigmund. If you have any recollection of the show, you can — and will — sing along to this one.

Friends (Sigmund and the Sea Monsters)

Next we have “Alley Oop.” No, wait, I’m sorry — we just have a song that starts off sounding an awful lot like it. “Monster Rock” is a pretty silly song, made even sillier by having Sigmund sound like Boris Karloff with a touch of helium in his voice.

Monster Rock

Of course for any album of this type, you’ve got to have tender love ballads. I picked the following one because I kind of like it, even though the background singers seem to be doing most of the work here.

Can’t Get You Off My Mind

I seem to remember the song “Lovin’ Ain’t Easy” from somewhere other than Sigmund; Whitaker may have sung it on another show. Truth be told, I don’t really remember any of these tracks from Sigmund except for the theme song(s). Here’s a side note: “Lovin’ Ain’t Easy,” like all the other songs on Friends, features Whitaker double-tracked. In other words, he’s singing with himself on each song. I know this practice was often employed with marginal singers to give their voices a bit more depth, but when was it first done? I’m thinking Annette Funicello was the first, but I’m not sure.

Lovin’ Ain’t Easy

Finally, we wrap up with another version of the Sigmund theme. I think they did a different theme song each season, unlike on other Sid and Marty Krofft shows. Maybe the producers really thought they had a singer on their hands, and let’s face it — Whitaker’s no worse than the lot of teen vocalists at that time, and unlike many of them, he even had a bit of a lower range.

Sigmund and the Sea Monsters

If you’d like to hear the rest of Friends, you can find it here.

And look! Here he is in a live performance at the Hollywood Bowl! You might not think Johnny Whitaker’s that great, but how many performances have you had at the Hollywood Bowl? Hmmmmm…?

Since this was an election year, they had to put in an obligatory “Fonzie for President” song, even though Fonzie wouldn’t have been old enough to be President. Unless, of course, you figure him being in his late teens/early twenties around the time the show takes place. Then, by 1976, he would be 15-20 years older and old enough to run. But who wants to be ruled by an old Fonzie?

Fonzie for President

Here’s “The Fonz Song,” which goes on and on about what a wonderful guy Fonzie is and features a guy that almost, but not quite, sounds entirely unlike the Fonz himself.

The Fonz Song

This song that used that popular expression from the show: “Sit on It.” In it, the Heyettes sing about guys who lost some competition with Fonzie, told him to sit on it, and then mysteriously disappeared (except for one that was said to be “hanging from a limb.” Man, don’t mess with the Fonz!) I have a question to any of you who might have been teens in the late ’50s: Was the expression “sit on it” actually used, or was this something the writers of the show came up with themselves?

Sit on It

The final song featured here is “Do the Fonz.” I was hoping it was going to be the song performed by Leather Tuscadero on the show, but it’s a different song entirely. The song’s all right (and I do like the fact that it starts out sounding like a jazzy version of the Sesame Street theme), it’s just a disappointment that it wasn’t the original.

Do the Fonz

If you want the original “Do the Fonzie,” here’s a clip of it. (The song starts about 5:30 into the clip.)

Hey, look on the bright side. At least it isn’t THIS version, performed by (I kid you not) the Jacksons (including Janet too, I believe).

If you’d like to get the entire album, you can find it here. AAAAAYYYYYYY!

The first song featured is called “Let Me Be the One.” My research shows that it was originally sung by Hank Locklin. I don’t know the guy or the song, but I had to include it because it follows the first rule of Beatles imitators: find a spot in a song to sing “yeah yeah yeah” and repeat as necessary.

Let Me Be the One

Next we have the Patsy Cline classic “Walkin’ After Midnight,” complete with jangly guitars and two part harmonies. The crazy thing here is that, as Beatles, they don’t sound much like the originals. However they could have possibly made a career from being Everly Brothers impressionists. I guess there wasn’t as much call for that, though.

Walkin’ After Midnight

“Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes” has been covered by everybody from George Jones to Dean Martin to Perry Como, but the Fabulous Beats really pick up the tempo on it. It doesn’t really improve the song any, but it’s unique.

Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes

Finally we have the country classic “Release Me,” which introduces another rule of Beatles imitators: the falsetto “OOOOOOOO!” (with bonus points for the “yeah yeah”s at the end.) You know, the guitar and bass work really isn’t too bad on these songs if you can get past the singing.

Release Me

If you’d like to hear more countrified renditions from the Fabulous Beats, you can get the whole album here. Yeah Yeah Yeah OOOOOOOOOO!!!

Anyway, they couldn’t have an album called American Pie and not have the song “American Pie,” could they? Here it is, not sung by the Peter Pan Children’s Chorus, but by a kinda-sorta Don McLean soundalike singing the first half of the classic song (or Side One, if you had the 45 of it). They do score extra points for singing the song as written, though, even if it’s not a terribly good rendition.

American Pie

We now move on to the story of America, actually featuring the Peter Pan Children’s Chorus and some lady we don’t know that takes over the proceedings. I’ve skipped ahead a bit to the narration and build up to the song “Goin’ West.” It’s nice to know they mention one of my ancestors. No, not George Washington or Benjamin Franklin, but Mr. Nobody In Particular! At least they don’t romanticize the time in the narration, talking about things like “burying their dead in unmarked graves so the Indians wouldn’t find them.” I may be showing my ignorance of American History here, but were Indians known as grave robbers? They finally get on with the song, talking about how much hope they had that things would go well. If I remember my history (through educational games), they all die of dysentery before they get to the end, don’t they?

Goin’ West

Well, it turns out that some of them survived after all, and now they’re out to blaze new trails “singing, whooping and a-hollerin’ their way across an entire continent”! I like the song “With an Empty Jug and a Musical Saw,” except for the fact that neither one of these instruments are featured in it. It’s nice, however, to find out that “that’s the way that Maw met Paw.” Way to go, pioneer dudes!

With an Empty Jug and a Musical Saw

Next we go to the christening of the Transcontinental Railroad, and the country was growing. There was no stopping our nation of “tinkers and whittlers.” This brings us to a jazzy little number called “The Inventors Song.” I might even like this one better than the “Mother Necessity” song from American Rock.

The Inventors Song

Our final selection here is called “Opus 1920.” The first World War is over, and people celebrate during the Roaring ‘20s. This is a neat sort of rap song that mostly features the kids talking about flappers, flagpole sitters and stocks going up. Of course we know how it ends, don’t we?

Opus 1920

Does America survive the stock market crash? What’s this about ANOTHER World War? And when do we get to the part where we can stay at home watching reality shows? All these questions (well, most of them anyway), are answered on the full album, which you can get here!