HawthoRNe in My Pride:

Hawthorne is fiery, passionate, and strong-willed, dammit, and we find out quickly where some of that tenacity comes from, at least in part: her grief from losing her husband to cancer.

In the pilot episode, the viewer drops in on Hawthorne on the first anniversary of her husband’s death. Still coming to terms with the loss, she carries his ash-filled urn with her around the house and talks to him. In a bit of contrived tension, she has to grudgingly surrender his remains for a whole year to her caustic mother-in-law (!), who just so happens to sit on the hospital’s board (!!) and blames Hawthorne for her son’s death (!?!).

I mean, c’mon, seriously? You had me with the premise of the show. I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out from behind a gurney and tell us we’d all been Punk’d. (Here’s hoping this part of the story gets downplayed or phased out entirely.)

Anyway, we see Hawthorne struggle almost immediately, which in turn makes her a sympathetic protagonist almost immediately. When not butting heads with her crab-in-law (Joanna Cassidy, Six Feet Under), she builds up a fair amount of tension with chief surgeon Tom Wakefield (Michael Vartan, Alias). Same goes for her relationship with her daughter, Camille (Hannah Hodson), who seems like a chip off the ol’ renegade block.

So how does Hawthorne regain control when so much of her life seems to be careening out of control? She takes command of the hospital. Pinkett Smith plays the character with her usual intensity, and since she’s one of the show’s executive producers, I expect she’ll continue to do the right thing with HawthoRNe. And when the patient subplots start to pair nicely with the characters being developed, this show will really hit its stride and maybe even persuade a few ER fans to join in. Overall, a lot of great things are happening for HawthoRNe, but some adjustments are necessary.

V Rebooted? I’d rather eat mice. While no one can argue that reboots occasionally work (see this summer’s blockbuster movie Star Trek), most of the ones viewers find on TV and in films are a cheap cash-in and a giant waste of time. In the midst of a stellar rollout of trailers for its fall lineup, ABC appears to be laying a colossal egg with its reboot of V, the ’80s NBC miniseries that eventually became a weekly sci-fi saga.

With no sign of either Marc “Beastmaster” Singer or Jane Badler as “Diana,” even in cameo roles, the new V is still treading old, familiar territory with a boring, sterile spin: alien lizards disguised as humans show up on Earth and pretend to make friends with us while plotting to pillage the planet for human food and drink up all the water. Yawn. One fundamental difference with this reboot: it appears, at least on the surface, to be focused on the humans worshiping and devoting themselves to the alien invaders who’ve come to “share technology” and borrow a cup of water or two.

All of the imagery in the two trailers I’ve seen appears to have massive political undertones. I’m wondering how the Obama administration feels about it all. Has Rahm Emanuel called up ABC and dropped his token F-bombs yet? Have a look and tell me if you see what I’m getting at:

Conan O’Boring: Speaking of sterile, is it just me or is new Tonight Show host Conan O’Brien playing it safe and soft? His appeal has long been anchored in his quirkiness, but someone seems to have gotten to him and asked that he tone it down to appeal to a broader audience and compete with David “I Made a Bummer Palin Joke” Letterman (who toned down his quirks somewhat when he moved to CBS and the 11:30 time slot 16 years ago, of course). Frankly, it’s disappointing — especially for longtime viewers — although it’s nice to see Andy Richter back in the fold.

C’mon, Conan! Show us all what got you there, and be brave about it. Stick to your guns. Your target audience is going to skew younger now that Jay Leno went all ten o’clock. Don’t you go all Goo Goo Dolls on us. Please.

The White Bronco: Last Wednesday marked the 15th anniversary of the creation of reality TV. Everyone remember the (in)famous O.J. Simpson white Bronco chase? Al Cowlings at the wheel, the Juice holding a gun to his own head, and a slew of gumballs rolling behind him? Or the crank call to ABC by Howard Stern crony “Captain Janks” during its coverage of the chase, followed by sportscaster Al Michaels informing Peter Jennings that it was a “totally farcical call”? When you see what reality TV is now — I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!, So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol, and the dozens of other human train wrecks — the Bronco chase seems almost innocent by comparison.

But never mind that — has it really been 15 years? Cripes. Somebody pinch me. At this rate, I’m gonna need a walker for Christmas.

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Rescue Me

OK, I’m finally ready to proclaim what a lot of you already have: the FX network’s Tuesday night show Rescue Me is stunningly brilliant. It’s a good thing, too, because the setting for the show—a New York firehouse post-9/11 attacks—deserves the kind of great writing it has.

Blame my late public announcement on coming late to the Denis Leary/Peter Tolan-anchored firefighter drama, but thanks to the miracle of Hulu.com—a friend second only to a DVR box for any tragically over-scheduled house like mine—I’m finally caught up.

I honestly don’t think there’s a better drama on television right now, but that in itself is a miracle of sorts: the last couple of years of this five-season show were less than stellar. But after the writers’ strike and a reduced number of episodes in a season, Rescue Me is streamlined and sharp enough to reapply for that “Best Drama on TV” status.

Viewers need look no further than the last episode, where 9/11 firefighter widow Sheila Keefe (played by Callie Thorne) nailed a mouthful of inspired monologue in one freaking take. Yeah, five minutes in one take. It was, in a word, incredible.

The personal trials and tribulations within the show’s plot continue to thicken: Tommy Gavin (Leary) returns to Ground Zero and the back pain that Sean Garrity (Steven Pasquale) is experiencing turns out to be more than he bargained for/expected and Genevieve’s perspectives on the terrorist attacks push Gavin over the edge. Rescue Me airs tomorrow night and if you’re not watching it, you’re due to miss a five-alarm fire.

Follow Rescue Me here.

“Can We Taaalllk?”

Could there be a show on TV more deserving of The Who’s “Bargain” as its theme song than Celebrity Apprentice? And how about this season? Joan Rivers wins? Eeesh. How she is still considered a celebrity is beyond comprehension.

Full disclosure: I didn’t watch this train wreck. In fact, I’ve not watched a full season of the Donald Trump reality show since season one. And I fail to understand the appeal of the celebrity version at all. It’s always looked like Former Celebrity Apprentice to me.

Frankly, we’re all dumber as a society for obsessing about people who used to be famous and watching them fall apart in shows like this, I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here! and VH-1’s Celebrity Rehab. What’s more, it is run by the king of former celebrities, “The Donald” Trump himself. He’s pretty weak; tantamount to the male equivalent of Madonna in terms of marketing prowess.

If someone can explain the appeal of this show to me, I’ll autograph my copy of Trump’s The Art of the Deal for you. And I’d call that a bargain… the best you’ve ever had.

100 Episodes in and a Surprise Marriage on Grey’s Anatomy

Spoiler alert: If you’ve got the last episode of Grey’s on your DVR and have yet to watch it, click away now. For the rest of you avid followers of the medical drama, did you expect the plot twist? The Twittering and Meredith’s almost sterile attitude to the pending nuptials almost gave it away for me; and yet, I had no idea that the wedding of Meredith and Derek was going to yield the spontaneous marriage of Izzie and Alex.

Maybe I should have expected this, given that Izzie (Katherine Heigl) was so excited about all the wedding planning. What will be interesting to see, is if the writers decide to kill her off—that has been the biggest, buzzworthy thing about the show over the past couple of weeks—and given that the drama off the set that this show has experienced none of us should shock at anything

Grey’s still has its appeal: Over 15 million people tuned in for the “marriage-go-around,” dusting time-slot juggernaut C.S.I. by over 500,000 viewers.

A Note to the National Basketball Association and NBA Commissioner David Stern

As a Clevelander, and a gigantic LeBron James/Cleveland Cavaliers fan, I’m completely sucked into TNT’s coverage of the NBA playoffs. But I’m just as big of a fan of TNT’s coverage of the playoffs as I am of the team.

And I mean that even despite Charles “I Am Not a Role Model” Barkley’s apparent disdain for my hometown.

I digress: I wish the NBA could find some way to incorporate the staff from TNT into the coverage of “The Finals” that ESPN/ABC co-produce and anchor. Because, frankly, “The Finals” are pretty sterile compared to the rest of basketball’s postseason. I’m sure Barkley would, erm, drink to that. Go Cavs!

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Jon & Kate Plus … Date?:

For those not yet in the loop on this one, husband Jon was apparently caught partying late with a woman who wasn’t his wife and (shock!) that’s set off a firestorm of public opinion. It was a bad judgment call that’s awakened all the perfect parents out in TV land, all of whom now feel free to psychoanalyze the real human beings in this delicate situation. The Gosselins’ site doesn’t say much, but the blog Gosselins Without Pity (ouch!) is hot to trot (natch) about this story.

The bottom line? Look, having eight kids so close together in age, and all in a goldfish bowl to boot, has got to be traumatic. Both these parents are “stress cases” who, once upon a time, thought a reality TV show was a good idea. They’ve made their money, scored their book deals and traded up in the lifestyle category (and then some). But if you look at them closely these last couple of seasons, they’re pretty miserable (watch the body language). Jon and Kate are a lost couple, working their way around each other (despite the cameras) and it’s obvious.

They don’t need a television show or the money, they need counseling and their kids.

If Jon and Kate really care about their family, their relationship and their kids – who will, in all likelihood, need therapy once the show is over – they need to end this, circle the wagons and pull the plug with TLC. And to all you condemnatory voyeurs: go back to spying (read: quietly judging) your neighbors like people used to do in the 50s and 60s.  It’s time for this show to retire, for the sake of all those involved. And don’t cry for them or for TLC… network execs there are probably secretly hoping to drop the pilot of The Octomom Show in J+K+8‘s place.

Disney joins Hulu: We’re guessing that the hit Internet show Dorm Life had little to do with this week’s Hulu-Disney announcement, which finds Disney/ABC programming like Lost and Grey’s Anatomy joining the ranks of Fox and NBC on the video site founded by NBC/Universal back in 2007. Hulu emerged as one of the most popular “online video destinations” and although it’s still running behind Google’s YouTube service, a staggering 380 million videos were viewed on Hulu as of last month. How long before Hulu is challenging Apple’s iTunes for a corner (or more) of the music market? We think not as long as it’s taking CBS to decide if Hulu is the right fit for them…

Idol’s Brother dies: American Idol champion/ favorite David Cook’s brother Adam lost his battle with brain cancer. Sad state of affairs. Our condolences to the family. Read more here.

The Prequel Frontier: It’s no secret that the new Star Trek prequel directed by JJ Abrams (Lost, Cloverfield) is due out next weekend. It’s no secret that it will be one of this summer’s blockbusters. It’s also no secret that this reboot of sorts is a sleeker, shinier, techie-er (Trekkier?) future that has wowed all those who’ve screened it. What’s still interesting after all these years (over 40 at this point) is how the short-lived sci-fi television show from the 60s went on to be so influential. Fans looking for the best episodes of both the original series and The Next Generation can score four episodes on one DVD for each of these first two ST series.

The original Star Trek “Best of” compilation includes classic episodes “The Trouble with Tribbles,” “Amok Time,” “The City on the Edge of Forever” and “Balance of Terror”; while the The Next Generation collection offers “The Best of Both Worlds Parts I and II,” “Yesterday’s Enterprise” and “The Measure of a Man.” Each set is well done, well packaged and retails for fifteen bucks. Both are due out a week from tomorrow, May 12.

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TV Turn-Off Week:

I grew up in an era when television was really hitting its stride and swelling with popular culture. We also had the hottest video gaming system in the universe (the Atari 2600) back then as well—the retro equivalent of the Nintendo Wii, Sony PlayStation and Xbox 360 all rolled into one. But we knew when to turn it all off.

Never mind that some of us remember what black and white television was like; we also knew the guerilla George Lucas Marketing™ on commercial television when we saw it. Everything was ultra-marketed. But none of those things seemed to be our undoing, because we knew how to park it in front of the small screen AND how to use our imaginations when our TV time was up. Our parents had a hand in that action. And we burned up whatever junk food we scarfed up by running around like banshees outside.

Our parents kept and eye on the clock and sent us out into the yard, where you’d re-enact your Starsky & Hutch, Knight Rider, The Dukes of Hazzard, Battlestar Galactica or Buck Rogers in the 25th Century episode(s) you just watched, or talked about how well you played Space Invaders and Pac-Man that week. The neighborhood kids were all into TV and video games, but they often spent four to five times the number of outside hours as inside. Especially during the prime outdoor seasons.

Back then, you didn’t see the level of obesity in kids (or adults, for that matter) that you do now. Or the level of mental “checking out” that you see in a lot of kids today. Everyone seemed to know when to turn it off and focus on physical activity. The boobtube wasn’t babysitting.

Excessive use of any small screen for recreation keeps you (and your kids, if you have them) anchored in the house. It’s not healthy mentally, physically, emotionally. Learn more about what you can do to restore some balance in your household here. And spend some time quality time with your family and friends outside and using your imagination once in a while. It will make you appreciate the “check-out” time even more.

OK, public service announcement ended. On to the remaining headlines for the week…

A Heroes Season Finale: Tonight at 9 pm/ET, NBC’s smash superhero show rocks it hard, bringing their Fugitives storyline to a close. Emile “The Hunter” Danko’s situation isn’t looking too good right now. He’s plunged a knife into Sylar’s head; the twisted shape-shifter antagonist then complained of a headache. Perfect! Danko — the senior agent of the US Department of Homeland Security, spearheading the hunt for “evolved humans”— is reminding me of the Senator Robert Kelly storyline in X-Men a bit. Anyone else? With a minor writing lull transpiring last season, this reviewer is wondering where Heroes will pivot. It could go in a completely fresh, interesting and relevant new direction, or jump the shark with a Marvel “Mutant Massacre”-like storyline next season.

Speaking of uninspired: Anyone caught Fox’s animated series Sit Down, Shut Up? With the blockbuster success of everything from The Simpsons and South Park, to the twice-shuttered (now beloved) Family Guy, it seems everyone has an animated show up his sleeve. This show aims to capture the angst of being in high school… from the faculty perspective. It’s a great concept that has oodles of promise, but it could easily give up its creative fire faster than Comedy Central’s send-up of “Bush 43,” L’il Bush. Sit Down has its moments, but the animated comedy needs some help in the writing department.

R.I.P. Bea Arthur: It’s hard not to love (and miss) the tough-as-nails demeanor of the Emmy award-winning comedienne, actress, and singer. She did more for world of television (arguably) than her TV mentor, All in the Family catalyst Norman Lear. The vocal liberal feminist was a counterweight to Lear’s Archie Bunker (remember how he called Arthur’s Maude a “New Deal fanatic”?) and embodied the spirit of empowerment for women everywhere. Without Arthur and her Maude character, there would have been no Alice, no Mary Tyler Moore, no Roseanne… no Murphy Brown. Even when Arthur was leading the “blue-hair charge” in the brilliant Golden Girls series, which she anchored with Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty and Betty White, she didn’t take any crap from anyone. How could anyone not admire that?

Bye-bye, Dorothy.

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A House Shocker: Kal Penn’s character (Dr. Lawrence Kutner) offs himself, leaving the rest of Dr. House and staff to deal with the ramifications for the remainder of the season. Of course, the thrice “Kumar Patel”—he of White Castle, Guantanamo Bay and Amsterdam fame—is going to work for President Barack Obama in real life. Three words: Yes he can. To paraphrase Kumar’s own words: “I can’t believe you’re gonna ditch for the Joy Luck Club, dude. You know what their parties are like.”

It’s not Unusual: Beneath the eccentric, black humor and innuendo, the new ABC NYPD series The Unusuals offers clever, metered banter and quick, intelligent pacing. In short, everything you’d expect of a hot cable show. It seems like a complete thrill to this reviewer… which, of course, can only mean one thing: expect The Unusuals to depart quickly. Similarly-framed shows like Sports Night, Love Monkey, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Trust Me stiffed. One can only assume this one will, too. Bigtime.

In Plod Me Trust: Speaking of Trust Me, TNT just canceled its freshman drama featuring Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanagh starring as advertising agency execs. One word: dammit! This is the kind of show that is supposed to succeed on cable and, frankly, the show was just getting interesting. This duo had chemistry, man. And yet, despite an interesting cast (OK, we agree that Monica Potter’s socially inept Sarah Krajeck-Hunter was dreadful) the show shouldn’t have ended its 13-episode run faster than you could say “Aaron Sorkin follow-up.” What does a sharp-tongued dialogue mastah like Cavanagh have to do to land a true hit? Even though I liked it, Ed doesn’t count… and Love Monkey never had a chance because of its unfortunate name.

Reality Bites: So here’s your WTF moment of the month: there’s a new reality show headed to Fox, from the people who brought you Big Brother (Endemol). Viewers get to watch the recession come to life in Someone’s Gotta Go—a reality TV series where small business employees lose their jobs on live television. Do we really need this at a time when our economy is looking so Depression Era? When businesses are boarding up left and right? When over 13 million children in the United States—that’s 18% of all children for you U.S. census honks—live in families with incomes below the federal poverty level? Horrible idea, Fox. Maybe even your worst since bringing Bill O’Reilly on board. Where’d ya learn your trade?

Why So Curious? Lastly, if you’re a parent and you’ve not locked into PBS Kids’ brilliant Curious George, you don’t know what you’re missing. The animated series launched after the Hollywood blockbuster film and is based on the the popular books by Margret and H.A. Rey. It’s brilliant stuff. In February, Universal released Curious George: Monkey Collection, Vol. 1, featuring the first three seasons. With lessons in an amusing, non-obnoxious format, a toe-tapping jazz theme song by New Orleans’ favorite son Dr. John, narration of some episodes by William H. Macy (Magnolia, The Cooler) and upbeat, live action interstitials, it’s the most fun TV-time adults can have with their kids.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must get back to these chocolate rabbits. More next time… Om nom nom nom…

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The two-hour finale of the long-running, ensemble medical drama was informed by the real-life tragedy of Shelby Lyn Allen, a 17-year-old Redding, California, native who died of alcohol poisoning in December.

I won’t spoil the details (mainly because NBC continues to repeat the finale for those who missed it), but suffice it to say it capped the end of an era in more ways than one. Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle) opening his brand-new medical facility in Chicago for the less fortunate was the new beginning at the end of ER; the question is, where might a Wyle-anchored spin-off end up in this day and age, if at all?

ER’s finale wasn’t just the end of an era for the Peacock’s 10 PM drama slot, which surrenders to Jay Leno’s new weeknight prime-time show in the fall. It also appears to be the front end of a trend to come: where more high-impact network dramas adapt to new delivery methods, migrate to cable, or die on the vine for affordability reasons.

That “adapt, migrate, or die” thought was an interesting one to ponder in the context of television. That’s how ecologists describe options for a species when a “forcing function” like climate change is looming . It’s a perfect parallel for TV in the 21st century: programming decisions are increasingly met by forcing function(s) like the down economy, rising production costs, varying delivery technologies, wider battles for smaller audiences and so on.

How else can one explain the end of Guiding Light—the longest running show in broadcasting history— which will cancel on CBS after a monumental run? The archetypical “soap opera” was a staple for Procter & Gamble to “peddle” household cleaning products and sundries to women. P&G’s people are changing with the times; they’re thinking about web portal content with original digital material to connect with increasingly wired homes (and moms). They’re certainly not the only ones.

And lastly, speaking of digital, the brain robots in the second-to-last Life on Mars (ABC) really had me thrown—especially when yours truly had it figured as the last episode. Serves me right for paying more attention to my NCAA brackets than the TV guide lately. Or perhaps I was having my own weird, asteroid-interrupted dream involving Mackenzie Phillips and Valerie Bertinelli. I know, TMI.

Ahem. Anyway, I never had Mars pegged for a sci-fi, 2001:A Space Odyssey-meets-Mission to Mars that it revealed itself to be. It all made me wish this freshman show had carried on. I didn’t figure Gene was Sam’s dad or that they had all been asleep during a two-year Mars mission. I couldn’t have imagined that what we were following were “neurological simulations” that were warped by faulty tech after an asteroid shower.

The only thing missing? The HAL-9000.

One thing is certain after this week: none of us are going to wake up to television like in 1973 (or 1975, to honor my One Day at a Time daydream) anytime soon.

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If you’re a TV junkie, you’re waiting for the end of an era, or reeling from a hairpin, unorthodox beginning of a new one this week. Frankly, I’m not sure either compares to a good, old-fashioned dose of “TV Gold” from an old friend.

But that’s getting ahead of ourselves.

Thursday night marks the end of the 15-year run for NBC’s ER (the two-hour series finale “And in the End …”), and it’s certainly been talked to death. Spoilers have careened around the Internet for months, promising appearances by everyone from Dr. Ross (George Clooney) and Nurse Hathaway (Julianna Margulies) to Benton (Eriq LaSalle) and Carter (Noah Wyle).

In fact, rumors of Wyle’s character opening a new medical facility in Chicago for the disadvantaged leave the possibility of an ER spin-off wide open. As a longtime viewer, I can remember watching those first med-drama episodes. Now Thursday’s around the corner and everything I’m hearing about the end leaves me largely underwhelmed. I can’t imagine what the writers can do to competently bring this series to a close.

But I’ll be back next week to break that all down further.

At the same time this institution ends, the charming new HBO series The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency might actually live up to the buzz. After a string of successfully dark and intense cable series (The Sopranos, Six Feet Under), this show’s vibe is like something out of left field — and a breath of fresh air. Bringing to life Botswana’s only lady detective last night was both old school and pretty cool.

Based on a series of ten books (which have sold over 14 million copies worldwide to date), Detective follows Columbo-esque sleuth Precious Ramotswe (neo-soul singer Jill Scott) through what’s shaping up to be a Murder, She Wrote redux. Not that there’s anything wrong with that: Scott’s permutation of street smarts, charm, cunning and tenacity explains HBO’s gamble on a 13-episode order. Not a mind blower, this Detective, but very promising so far.

All of which leads me to Art Mann Presents.

How, you ask, does one get there from here? My excuse is that HBO and HDNet (Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban’s high-def cable network that Mann calls home) are close to each other on my cable system. But the truth is that Art Mann’s Art Mann Presents just wrapped up a run of new episodes this month that were nothing short of “TV Gold” (his tongue-in-cheek term; my very real analysis). And unlike the previous two shows mentioned here, Mann and friends take themselves just seriously enough to be casually brilliant in simplicity.

Mann’s variety program is like part MTV’s Jackass meets E!’s Wild On! series, with a little Travel Channel and reality TV cojones thrown in for good measure. The E! comparison stands to reason: Mann used to be a host on Wild On! years ago and helped bring everything from Jules Asner, Brooke Burke and Cannes, to Ibiza and Jenna Jameson to the small screen. It’s definitely not for the kids, but don’t be surprised if they know about it.

Art Mann Presents takes viewers on an irreverent, 30-minute joyride every week, covering events as divergent as the Indy 500, Mardi Gras, the L.A. Urban Iditarod, Green Beer Day at Miami University (in Oxford, Ohio) and the Adult Entertainment Expo. It’s all a bit voyeuristic, but there’s nothing on the air quite like it. Most importantly, it’s a triumph because of the show’s EveryMann, who (un)knowingly punctuates the show with great pop culture pathos and subtext… after all, anyone can turn the cameras on the inebriated. It takes a special kinda guy to make you care about it all.

In an era when television programmers are attempting to nail the beginning or perfect the ending, one easygoing, low-key, and unfazed wiseacre knows he’s got the greatest job in television. Mann doesn’t worry about where things begin or end; he cheerily leads people watchers through places they might not otherwise see or experience.

In a self-important sea, this boat’s pure, unadulterated fun — and very little of television is these days.

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Television programming executives despise smart, engaged viewers. Like, uh, me, for instance.

I’m the kind of guy who jacks up their focus groups and bell curves. I record their shows and burn through their well-placed advertising on the DVR (because I can). I’ll drop a meandering show like a bad habit. I like my “Joyrides for Shut-ins” done medium-well—intelligent, complex, but I hate tired plot devices and holes, and “clever for its own sake” (yep, I’m looking at you, Lost). And while I don’t claim to be a member of the so-called cognitive elite, I do have a smoldering case of voluntary Tourette’s Syndrome and an elephant’s memory.

None of this ever helps the execs. I’m almost impossible to make (and keep) happy.

So let me start this opening salvo with some fuel for the fire: TV series finales almost always suck. That is their nature. It’s almost as if closure itself is overrated in television.

It doesn’t seem to matter if a TV show has had a short life, or become an iconic representation of visual media fit for enshrinement in the pop culture lexicon and at the Smithsonian. And it doesn’t matter if it was brought to and end by flagging ratings or drawn to a close at its absolute peak of popularity. TV endings are almost always disappointing.

Naturally, any grand pronouncement like this will bring the contrarians out of the woodwork for comment, so yes, I’ll say that there are exceptions.

But if you search yourself, you know that poor endings far outweigh the passable and the perfect when shows are brought to an end. For every Newhart there’s a dozen Seinfeld or Everybody Loves Raymond endings. For every Strangers With Candy or Twin Peaks, there’s a Sopranos cop-out. For every M*A*S*H* or Freaks and Geeks, there’s a dismally painful Sex and the City or Moonlighting.

Did you see the recent series finale of The L Word? Or Life on Mars? Gah!

All of this brings us to the finale of the Peabody Award-winning re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica, which ended its brief, politically-charged, theological run on the Sci-Fi (or — sigh — SyFy) Channel on Friday. When this show was on, it was dynamite (and not as in “boom goes the…”). Deemed the “show of the decade” by some and the best science fiction TV series since The X-Files, BSG’s six-year strand was already starting to unravel when it ended with a two-hour finale aimed at cinching some unresolved mysteries.

What was up with Starbuck? Clone or not a clone? Who was “The One Who Must Not Be Named,” anyway? What was the role of Cylon-human crossbreed Hera? And, perhaps most importantly to fans, could all of the divergent threads in the series be satisfied without pulling a deus ex machina? I won’t be the spoiler; I realize some of you reading this may not have watched your DVR yet, but to me, the show had one of the weakest finales of all—not a good sign for this particular genre of programming, or for an audience so hopelessly engrossed in detail.

Let’s take it a step further: How could a show such as BSG even begin to fulfill the lofty expectations it had been busy creating since launching in 2004? There’s no option of trotting out Drs. Doug Ross and Carol Hathaway like some ER wrap-up— the story was, and is, everything.

As a viewer, I felt a palpable sense of loss before viewing the finale. Yet after all the didatic grandstanding, Kara-as-guardian-angel, Baltar-as-Jesus, pandering and gerrymandering and so on, I can’t say I’m sorry to see it go. It really had “jumped the shark” long before the final frames of this so-called coda.

In the end, methinks Mulder and Scully fared far better. And that’s not saying much. Perhaps television executives should reconsider “ending” programs at all. There’s an old adage that “all things end badly, otherwise they wouldn’t end.” So, what does this mean for the doctors at County General Hospital? Will the writing and heartstrings save that 15-year-old primetime patient?

Who knows? But you’d better have those defibrillators ready. Stat!

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