Chart Attack!, Episode 1

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Longtime Popdose devotees may be looking at this post and thinking, “Wait, Episode 1? Haven’t there been other Chart Attack! podcasts already? Is this some kind of shitty reboot?”

Allow me to clear up a few things.

The Popdose staff has been itching to do a Chart Attack! revival for some time, but wanted to be respectful of the fact that it was really Jason Hare’s baby and needed his input. So we decided to wait. Then we got tired of waiting and figured if Styx could carry on without Dennis DeYoung, we could carry on as well.

So while Matt Wardlaw distracted Hare by showing off his Foreigner 4 tattoo, the trio of Jeff Giles, Mike Heyliger, and Dave Lifton snuck off and recorded the first podcast featuring Chart Attack! in 14 months. But since this is in fact a separate endeavor from the flagship Popdose Podcast, we’re spinning it off.

Future episodes will feature a rotating set of contributors, which should hopefully keep things fresh for all involved and allow us to produce new installments on a more regular basis. Everybody all caught up now? Good! Let’s join Jeff, Mike, and Dave as they tackle the top ten songs from the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart for the week ended February 15, 1986.

10. “Conga” – Miami Sound Machine
9. “Sara” – Starship
8. “The Sweetest Taboo” – Sade
7. “Living in America” – James Brown
6. “I’m Your Man” – Wham!
5. “That’s What Friends Are For” – Dionne & Friends
4. “Kyrie” – Mr. Mister
3. “Burning Heart” – Survivor
2. “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going” – Billy Ocean
1. “How Will I Know” – Whitney Houston

Chart Attack, Episode 1 (1:12:23, 66.2 MB), featuring Jeff Giles, Mike Heyliger, and Dave Lifton. (Download from null )

Intro

0:00 A brief recap of what brought us to this moment.

0:55 Dick joke #1.

2:00 The first Chart Attack podcast in recent memory kicks off with… Gloria Estefan?

3:34 Gloria’s hair — Mom Mullet or Latin ‘fro?

11:40  Mike admits to liking “Sara,” while Jeff and Dave come to regret letting me pick the charts for these podcasts. Jeff remembers way too much about the video.

16:28 Fuck Matt Wardlaw #1.

16:49 Never mind Sade, let’s talk about Smokey Robinson’s microwaveable jambalaya.

21:58 Jeff hates “Living in America” but loves Rocky IV. Make of that what you will.

29:17 Remember when Motown was a thing? Those were good times.

32:45 The real reason this podcast will have a rotating cast of contributors? PTSD because of songs like “That’s What Friends Are For.”

38:41 Dave Lifton is Bob Dylan. Or his age at least.

39:00 If Pat Mastelotto is listening to this, please send a note to jefito@podose.com with the subject line “I’m listening, wanker.”

45:32 Another goddamn Matt Wardlaw shout-out. Ugh.

47:56 Fuck Matt Wardlaw #2. That’s better.

49:54 It’s Billy Ocean, the R&B Reverse Samson!

59:18 One year after Whitney Houston’s death, the guys remember her and a very good pop song.

Wrapup

We hope you enjoyed the debut edition of Chart Attack! If you didn’t, well, that’s 72 minutes of your life you’re not getting back. Come back for the second episode next month won’t you? And while you’re at it, please leave us a review on iTunes, and don’t forget to visit our Facebook fan page as well as the Popdose Twitter feed. Thanks for listening and we’ll see you next month!

And fuck Matt Wardlaw (#3).

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Chris Holmes
Chris Holmes joined the Popdose writing staff only after enduring a humiliating series of hazing rituals. One day he'll write a tell-all book, and then they'll all pay. Until then, you can also catch him at his regular home, The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit, or you can follow him
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