Cutouts Gone Wild!: Big Noise, “Bang!”

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Big Noise – Bang! (1989)
purchase this album (Amazon)

If you’re a music fan with the good fortune to have been born before the late ’80s, chances are you remember the thrill of spending a leisurely afternoon (or many afternoons) wandering the aisles of your favorite record store, thumbing through stacks of LPs/cassettes/CDs, just sort of…looking without hoping to find anything in particular. You can still do this today, of course, but only if you’re lucky enough to actually have a record store in your neighborhood — and on nothing like the scale of the “good old days.”

The reasons for this are too numerous to delve into in a silly little Cutouts Gone Wild! post, but for the sake of our time together today, let’s chalk it up to two things — the rise of big box retailers whose treatment of new music as a loss-leader product choked the life out of indie retailers, and the steep 21st century decline in major-label revenues. There’s still plenty of music out there — more than ever, in fact — but you’ve got to go online to find it, and as wonderful as it is to sample new albums before you buy them, nothing quite compares to that aisle-wandering experience. Be sad you missed it, kids — we might not be getting it back.

The point of all this rambling? Once upon a time, the major labels released a lot of music. I mean, really — lots. So much music, in fact, that it was a mathematical certainty that a not-inconsiderable percentage of this music would be utterly ridiculous. Case in point: Big Noise and their 1989 debut, Bang!

Don’t get excited. I don’t mean “ridiculous” as in “odd” or “funny” or “in any way interesting” — I mean it strictly in a “this never needed to come out” way. Actually, Big Noise was ridiculous on a few levels, including the band’s silly name and the fact that it consisted of seven — count ‘em! — members:

Anthony Fenelle — vocals
Huw Lucas — guitars
Paul Johnson — keyboards
Gary Thompson — bass
Tony Lahiffe — drums
Linton Levy — saxophone
Tony Jones — percussion

What’s so crazy about a seven-piece band? Nothing, really, except when the music it makes sounds like “Let Me Be” (download), “Victim of Love” (download), and “Turn the Lights Down Low” (download). This is garden-variety ’80s pop music, meaning the only people who needed to be (and possibly were) involved in its creation were the singer, keyboard player, and maybe the guitarist.

Big Noise had a song or two penetrate the Hot 100, but just barely; their music made such a small impact, in fact, that there’s virtually no trace of them on the Web. The AMG lists Bang! (and what appears to be a 2003 reunion album titled Good Morning Baby), but no artwork or review. They’re one of the only bands on Earth not to rate a slavishly devoted fansite. Not even a Wikipedia entry preserves their memory. The only thing my (ten minutes of) research turned up was Fenelle’s stint as the singer in an early ’90s version of Ultravox.

From a certain point of view, I guess you could say we’re making history with this post. Aren’t you excited?

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  • Great points, Jeff!

    I would add the fact that in the 80s, when everything was still available on vinyl, you could buy a brand new album for $6 or so. If you heard one or two songs on MTV that you liked, you thought nothing of plunking down that kind of money. And if the album sucked, as it sometimes did, you didn't mind too much.

    Once we got into the CD era, where you had to pay $13 or more per album, the risk-taking all but ended. You had to be damn sure you knew the artist and liked more than one or two songs on the album.

    That, my friends, may be why the record industry took a nosedive.
  • Only six dollars for a new album with huge artwork and liner notes and a lyric sheet? I really did miss out. I can't remember how much my cassettes cost, but those had even smaller artwork than you find on a CD, plus few liner notes and no lyric sheet, at least with the ones I bought.

    I went to a record store last night called Laurie's Planet of Sound. (It's a pretty small planet.) I called in advance last week to see if they had the album I was looking for. They didn't, but they ordered it for me, so that was good.
  • scrumble
    This was really the next generation of yacht rock, but it was British: Cutting Crew, Johnny Hates Jazz, Breathe, Danny Wilson, Hipsway and... fill in the blanks here?
  • scrumble
    ...but the guy to blame for all this was probably Steve Winwood c. 1986
  • Waterfront, Swing Out Sister, Curiosity Killed the Cat, the Kane Gang...
  • Pop records like this fascinate me. So inoffensive, so safe. "Come on, guys, let's just dance!"
  • Rich
    Michael Scott would listen to this on the patio of his condo, with a big glass of chardonnay from a cardboard box.
  • Rich
    Amazon's got the 2003 album available for download. Sampling it, I'd guess that in 2003, "Big Noise UK" discovered a 1989 vinyl stash - maybe some Cause & Effect and Information Society.
  • It's so... clean. They sound like guys who drink a lot of milk, exercise three days a week, pick up their kids after an 8-16 day in the studio and watch telly with their wives on Friday night. In a way I've always admired people who can reduce the elements of popular music to this kind of utter formulaic, washed-out nonsense. It's an art form in itself, really - most bad pop acts never pull it off.
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