Elephant Walk: “Hey America, Whaaat’s Happening?*”

Written by Current Events, Pop Politico

An Open Letter to Hurricane Gustav
By Ted Asregadoo

Damn you, Gustav!  I mean, how could you have the audacity to downgrade from a Category 3 to the Category 2 and not hit New Orleans practically straight on –like Katrina did? Didn’t you watch the video the RNC put together to reassure the Gulf Coast (i.e., the Republican base) that Republicans were “on it”?  Didn’t you see Rick Perry in front of “Texas Task Force One” looking us in the face and saying, “Taking care of citizens … it’s what we do”? I know, it was hard not to snicker, but I bit my lip hard and made myself forget how much “care” Republicans heaped on those who survived your friend Katrina.

Have you no heart not to point your fury at the Big N.O. and fill that bathtub to the overflow point?  I mean, Bob Riley of Alabama was appealing to the better angels of our nature and telling us that our values like honor, courage, and dedication will lead to a recovery, but only if you leveled the place!  And have you no decency, Gustav?  At long last, have you no decency, sir?  Because if you did, you would know that Charlie Crist of Florida said that through tragedy we will see an increase in self-sacrifice and the spirit of helping one another.  Haley Barbour “felt” our prayers and has seen firsthand the outpouring of charity in the aftermath of tragedy.  And it’s through those tragedies will we see the “partnerships” that form between the Federal and state governments.

Gustav, didn’t you know that it was because of you that we were all going to put on our “American hats, ” roll up our sleeves and get the job done?  Since you didn’t fulfill your role as a “Lucifer’s Hammer,” it’s going to be tougher for Republicans to stick to their revised narrative of “Serving a cause greater than self-interest.” I am so disappointed in you, Gustav.  So terribly disappointed.

A Few Questions for Day Two
By Jon Cummings

1.  Why do Republicans believe Americans should be impressed that Bush and his barbershop quartet of GOP governors pulled off an evac/response/relief effort that really ought to be a basic function of government?

2.  Do they imagine we’ll give them a mulligan on Katrina, the same way they imagine we should give them a mulligan on the Iraq fiasco because (let’s all say it in unison) “the surge is working”?

3.  Why is Keith Olbermann in New York, not Minneapolis?  C’mon, Keith, get a shovel!

4.  Why did the news networks restrict the story of Bristol’s baby to the tickers on Monday — even as they mentioned on the air (albeit briefly) Sarah’s lawyering-up in the troopergate scandal?

5.  If Bristolgate isn’t really a scandal, why didn’t the McCain campaign fess up on Friday and disclose the pregnancy as part of Sarah’s introductory bio?  Waiting the weekend only makes us wonder, what else are these folks hiding?

6.  Can a mayor who secured $27 million in Congressional earmarks for her hometown over a four-year period, then became a governor who requested more than $200 million in earmarks from corrupt Senator Ted Stevens just last winter, really transform herself into an effective participant in McCain’s crusade against wasteful spending?

7.  Did the McCain folks really vet Sarah at all?  How does this tawdry drip-drip-drip reflect on McCain’s judgment?  Scandal-ridden and under qualified–this is how McCain tries to separate himself from Bush?

8.  How did this afternoon’s sled-dog race turn out?