Fixing a Hole: The Beatles’ Imaginary Post-1970 Albums, Part 4

Mark Feldman September 27, 2010 17

After Mind Games, which had some successful singles but was generally regarded as a little, well, weird, Paul took the reins and told the lads that it was time to go corporate, write some more accessible tunes, do a whirlwind world tour with flashing lights, and bring back the whole running-from-screaming-teenage-girls thing.  But not sacrifice artistic integrity, of course.  John and George reluctantly agreed that there could be worse things, and of course Ringo embraced the idea wholeheartedly.

So the “extra feature” this time is a sample Beatles live set list from 1974.  You heard it here first.

Day Tripper
Instant Karma
Band On the Run
What Is Life
Blackbird
Mind Games
Jet
Give Me Some Truth
C’Moon
I Saw Her Standing There
Dark Horse
Yer Blues
#9 Dream
Something
Photograph
Imagine
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Let It Be
I Want You  (Can’t you just see it with the sudden ending, lights going black?  Love it.)

ENCORES:

Nowhere Man
Maybe I’m Amazed
I Should’ve Known Better
Get Back

All I can say is… man, I’d like to be at that show!  Here’s the multi-million-selling album that whirlwind tour supported, the one post-1970 album that everyone would have.

SIDE ONE

Band on the Run” – Only fitting Paul gets to open this album.  At least half of the real album from which this hails suffers from overplaydom, of course, but before you go “ho-hum” and skip over both this and “Jet,” think back to the first time you heard them, whenever that was.  It blew you away, did it not?  And the video is pretty cool too.  Is the “stuck inside these four walls” part referring to a feeling of imprisonment within a certain band with four members?  Perhaps, but it’s cryptic enough that it can still be here.  You can’t really leave it out.

Whatever Gets You Through the Night” – John probably wrote this song in less time than it takes to sing it, but that’s part of its charm.  A groove that’s pure 1974, and you can either pretend Elton was invited to provide backing vocals on the Beatles album (not an unprecedented move, there were a couple ‘guest stars’ even on real Beatles albums later on) or pretend that’s Paul doing falsetto.  I love that I had to click “ignore” for the grammatical inconsistency of the title before being able to add a hyperlink.

Jet” – The third of the upbeat ‘70s classics that kick off this album with a bang.  See comment for “Band On the Run.”  Totally cryptic lyrics that still baffle me – is it about John?  Is it about David Bowie?  Is it about Paul’s dog?  Who really knows?

“#9 Dream” – I recently learned that the woman who whispers “John… John… John…” is not Yoko Ono but in fact May Pang (pictured with John in our last installment), the woman who John had an 18-month relationship with during his separation from Yoko.  Did I mention I love ‘70s videos?  Though call me crazy, but at about 1:50 our genius friend seems to be mining his olefactory region for mineral resources, if you get the picture…

Dark Horse” – The album with the same name gets a bad rap, and indeed it’s got its embarrassments, but at least they’re memorable embarrassments, whereas many of the songs on George’s prior and following records are just plain hard to remember in my opinion.  And you can’t argue with this track, so intelligently crafted I can almost forgive the flute.

Bluebird” – A guilty pleasure.  This was an obvious attempt by Paul to recapture a little Beatledom, both in the music and the title, so of course it fits in well.

SIDE TWO

What You Got” – I can see John going “all right, we’ll do a mainstream record, but you’ve got to let me rock out at least once.  I’ll do it in a funky way.”  I don’t know why I never really noticed this track until recently; it’s pretty amazing.

No No Song” – Another tough choice, what to include from Ringo’s Goodnight Vienna album.  I thought it was about time he got another somewhat-silly song, a la “Octopus’s Garden,” as part of the whole “Give the people what they want” feel of this record.  This still cracks me up.

So Sad” – the other reason not to dismiss Dark Horse entirely, one of George’s many delicate, sweeping ballads of the ‘70s with his signature brand of guitar-weeping.  The guitar on this one almost sounds new-wave-ish.

Junior’s Farm” – Lest you think Wings were just Paul and a few other guys with no talent, Jimmy McCullough’s guitar on this one is killer.  But George could’ve handled it too.  In my opinion, if this had been the penultimate song on Band on the Run as opposed to the tedious “Picasso’s Last Words,” that album would be deserving of the ‘masterpiece’ tag it often gets.  As it is, I think it’s a notch below that, but of course still a must for any rock and roll disciple.

Nobody Loves You (When You’re Down And Out)” – John gets soulful again and provides some contrast to the slickness of the most of this album.  I originally thought this wouldn’t fit well, but somehow it works here, setting the stage for…

Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five” – it had to be done, just like in Band on the Run, since it reprises the title track, and builds to a climax that can’t really be followed.  This really was disco before the term was in common usage, and because it was so different than most of what was out there at the time, the Beatles would’ve gone for it, I think.

SINGLES

Band on the Run b/w Simply Shady, #1, 1974

Whatever Gets You Through the Night, b/w No Words, #2, 1974 (kept out of the #1 slot by Paul Anka’s “You’re Having My Baby,” much to the disgust of Beatle fans across America)

Dark Horse b/w Meat City, #6, 1974 (would’ve been bigger with the Beatle brand name)

Junior’s Farm b/w Husbands And Wives, #1, 1974 (why not?  It rocks.)

WELL-KNOWN SONGS THAT DIDN’T QUITE MAKE IT

“Let Me Roll It” – tough to omit, but the guitar riff does kind of annoy me after two non-stop minutes of it, so it got the axe (no pun intended).

“Goodnight Vienna” – I just prefer “No No” to this.

“Ding Dong Ding Dong” – The B-side to a holiday release of “Merry Xmas (War Is Over)” is about all I’ll concede for this one.  Sorry George, we love you dearly, but…

Not much else.  The famous stuff all either made it or will make it next time on Part 5 (1975), where the Beatles take a Mystery Tour-esque left turn!

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  • JonCummings

    Tough to argue with much of anything here — at least, not without seeing what you’ve saved for the 1975 album (“Helen Wheels” is the track that leaps out as being missing here, though I could rattle off several other “BOTR” tracks that were Beatle-worthy). One thing, though: I presume it’s an oversight that you didn’t close that live show with “Hey Jude”?

  • mark

    Doh! Yes, Hey Jude would’ve been great live. Sandwich it in between I Should’ve Known Better and Get Back, or put it at the end (I still prefer shows that close with something upbeat, but it’s tough to argue with Hey Jude as a closing number). And Helen Wheels is on the next album.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    See, I would think that by this time they’d have shelved “Hey Jude” because of the Julian connection, and rather than piss John off, Paul would just walk away from it. It kind of made sense to me that it was not here.

  • Anonymous

    What is this album called?

  • JonCummings

    I’ve been thinking about this set list all day, and I keep thinking of songs off the White Album era that I imagine they would have seriously considered playing (even if they were six years old by this point). “Back in the USSR,” “Birthday,” “Helter Skelter,” “Revolution” … “Hey Bulldog” … I just imagine John would have wanted to rock out a bit more than the set list here does. I also don’t think there’s the slightest chance that a Beatles ’74 (or ever) tour would have been able to skirt “Yesterday” — hell, when Paul was playing nothing else by the Beatles, he was playing that.

    I envision the Fabs doing an acoustic mini-set much as Paul did on the Wings Over America tour. Imagine it — “Blackbird” and “Bluebird,” “Jealous Guy” and “Love” (or “Oh My Love” or “Julia”), “Here Comes the Sun” and an acoustic take on “Guitar Gently Weeps,” then “Yesterday.”

    Can’t picture “Imagine” being buried within the set — it’d probably get its own encore. And if you’re looking for a finale that isn’t “Hey Jude,” they could do what Macca did recently and close with the “Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End” suite.

    And Don Draper (if that’s still his name) would buy scalped tickets (for a then-outrageous $50) in a last, desperate stab at reaching his strung-out daughter Sally — only to find her lying dead in the kitchen of her apartment, having OD’d on heroin and her mother’s hairspray.

  • mark

    Oops – guess I forgot the title! I call it Band On the Run, though I strongly considered Dark Horse as well.

    Back in the USSR, Helter Skelter, Revolution, all good choices too… who’s to say they didn’t vary the set list over the course of the tour? It’s hard to decide what to include, there are so many options. At this juncture, I thought they’d still be trying to promote the newer albums, whereas I think later on (late ’80s and beyond) the sets would be more heavily weighed towards ’60s material. I’ll play the set the list game a couple more times during the course of this blog, and of course I’d love to hear some alternate takes on it.

  • mark

    Oops – guess I forgot the title! I call it Band On the Run, though I strongly considered Dark Horse as well.

    Back in the USSR, Helter Skelter, Revolution, all good choices too… who’s to say they didn’t vary the set list over the course of the tour? It’s hard to decide what to include, there are so many options. At this juncture, I thought they’d still be trying to promote the newer albums, whereas I think later on (late ’80s and beyond) the sets would be more heavily weighed towards ’60s material. I’ll play the set the list game a couple more times during the course of this blog, and of course I’d love to hear some alternate takes on it.

  • mark

    Oops – guess I forgot the title! I call it Band On the Run, though I strongly considered Dark Horse as well.

    Back in the USSR, Helter Skelter, Revolution, all good choices too… who’s to say they didn’t vary the set list over the course of the tour? It’s hard to decide what to include, there are so many options. At this juncture, I thought they’d still be trying to promote the newer albums, whereas I think later on (late ’80s and beyond) the sets would be more heavily weighed towards ’60s material. I’ll play the set the list game a couple more times during the course of this blog, and of course I’d love to hear some alternate takes on it.

  • Old_Davy

    Great playlist, but you gotta follow BOTR with Jet. That is major brilliant sequencing.

  • john ozed

    I always thought that Whatever Gets You Thru the Night DID make it to #1. Lennon’s appearance at Elton’s Thanksgiving concert in 1974 at Madison Square Garden was the result of a bet, with Elton getting John to promise an appearance if the song went to #1.

  • http://www.facebook.com/davidragland David Ragland

    Thanks for this. I’ve really been enjoying this entire series. I’ve always loved “What You Got”- one of the truly great Lennon vocal tracks that never gets any attention. I might’ve included “Let Me Roll It” somewhere in there, but then something else would’ve had to go, and your list is pretty great.

  • Anonymous

    “Hey Jude” doesn’t really make a great closing number–Paul tried in on the 1993 tour and it was such a problem that not only has he never done it again, he’s decided never to close with anything but “The End” again. (He does the “Pepper” reprise into “The End”.) It’s best at the last song before the encores. But I can see them not doing it on their first big tour back out, to make it something special for a future tour. (Just as Paul didn’t play it live in the 1970s) If anything, I think the set would have been MORE weighted toward their recent material–remember that when they were planning a concert in January 1969, they weren’t planning to play anything that had previously been released–not even material from the White Album, which was just three months old! That’s assuming that Paul could actually have talked John and George into hitting the road at all. Not much to take issue with in the track listing here–you’ve mostly picked the right songs IMHO. One thing I’ll say is that while I agree with you that “No No Song” is a better song than “Goodnight Vienna”, I don’t see the Beatles doing ANYTHING that was written for them by an outside writer–they never did that, and after 1965 didn’t do any remakes. “Oo Wee” is probably the best of the Ringo compositions on Goodnight Vienna, but no reason why you couldn’t have gone back to “Oh My My”, “Step Lightly”, or the underappreciated “Down And Out”. I don’t think in 1974 they would have been pulling four singles from an album–if anything, I could see something like “Junior’s Farm” being a non-album single, just as, again, it was in real life.

  • Anonymous

    You’re absolutely correct, “Whatever Gets You Through The Night” did in fact make it to number one. It was John’s first #1 solo single.

  • mark

    The chart positions above aren’t real; they’re just made-up in the “Beatles-never-broke-up” world. I needed something to reach #2 to keep my running gag going (see earlier posts). But I forgot that it did actually reach #1. So perhaps Junior’s Farm was the #2 song, and couldn’t quite get past something equally embarrassing in late 1974. How about “Kung Fu Fighting?”

  • mark

    Amazingly, it was also his LAST #1 solo single. Can you believe it? I’m still waiting for this to be a tie-breaking question at a pub trivia night or something, because not many people would guess that (a) he only had one #1 US single and (b) this was it.

  • JonCummings

    I assume you mean it was his last as a living, sentient being, correct? Because “(Just Like) Starting Over” was #1 for five weeks, though it didn’t get there until two weeks after he was killed.

  • Robert K

    I agree wholeheartedly with the 90% of your well reasoned choices, and the sequencing is nailed.  But I always thought of Junior’s Farm as a stand alone single (although the song that I would have replaced it with–Helen Wheels–was also originally meant as a stand alone single).  And I agree with the above poster that the Starkey penned Ooh-Wee was the better choice from the GV album.