This list makes me sad.” – Kelly Stitzel

It started off as a good idea, doing a special FNV highlighting the top 100 of 2001, what will be ten years ago tonight. And then we took a look at the list of what we had to work with and got a little nauseous. Out of 100 choices, only 36 titles were worthy of a vote, and of them, 16 titles had consensus, while the rest sort of flopped around helplessly, like a one-legged horse in a stampede (whoa, Nelly).

So, refresh your drink, refresh it again, and again, and join us as we count our way down to the dawn of 2011… And take into account another great quote, this time from Ken Shane: “Things that sucked in 2001: 1. 9-11, 2. The shutdown of the original Napster, 3. This list.

Five!

Outkast – Ms. Jackson: Are you fo’ real?

 

Four!

U2 – Beautiful Day: The Second Coming of St. Bono… with guitars!!

 

Daft Punk – One More Time: Daft Punk is French. How do you say “One More Time” in French?

 

Jay Z – Izzo (H.O.V.A.): We’d include something snarky, funny and/or vicious to say here but, honestly, living is better than not living. Carry on, Mr. Jay Z…

Three!

David Gray – Babylon: It’s unfair to label Gray as a one-hit-wonder in the U.S. but, you know, I’m just sayin’…

Two!

Aerosmith – Jaded: The title of this song is my overall estimation of how I feel about Aerosmith post-Pump.

Incubus – Drive: The future of rock and roll! These boys will be around for a long, long time.

Lenny Kravitz – Dig In: Smack, smack, Sugar Smacks. Gimme a smack and I’ll smack you back.

Alicia Keys – Fallin’: I remember Bob Dylan once looking Keys up and down and saying, “There ain’t nothing about that girl that I don’t like.” And then I remember throwing up out of my nose.

Alien Ant Farm – Smooth Criminal: The future of rock and roll! These boys will be around for a long, long time.

Coldplay – Yellow: Just like snow you shouldn’t eat. And because Coldplay loves you, they’ll never let you do that (meaning, never let you embed their video. But you can watch it here nonetheless.)

Moby with Gwen Stefani – Southside: Stefani was all over the Aughts, wasn’t she?

Madonna – What It Feels Like For A Girl: So, reckless driving is what it feels like for a girl? Profound.

Mary J. Blige – Family Affair: Tonight’s episode – Mr. French eats a small dog.

American Hi-Fi – Flavor Of The Weak: The future of rock and roll! These boys will be – (Okay, we get the joke!)

(Your number) One!

Christina Agulera, Mya, L’il Kim and Pink – Lady Marmalade: We need a hundred gallons of Febreze in here, STAT!

(And our extra freaky number) One!

Missy Elliott – Get UR Freak On: Or maybe not. Atlantic Records seems to be intent on messing with the party, so go here instead.

That’s it! The holidays are over! Go to sleep already!