Friday Night Videos!: The Hits of 1991

Written by Friday Night Videos!, Music

If you’re holding your breath for the day MTV starts playing music videos again, let it go. It’s never going to happen, and certainly not with that attitude, you young people!

Oh, and Thanksgiving is over. Time to redo those pants back up, people. Nobody needs to see those flabtastic bags of poop-fixins just bulging out from behind your underpants. And I swear, the first one busts out a turkey fart is out of here! I mean it!

But who needs MTV in the digital age? We’re here, the time’s right, and the videos are waiting for us. This week’s list was democratically determined by the Popdose Staff. The terms were simple. The songs that get the most votes get the spots, except for the #1 of the year. So set the way-way-back machine for 1990, rip those shirts, don’t wash your hair and think about your pants. Just think long and hard about those pants, yo. It’s time to rock.

R.E.M. – Losing My Religion: Losing the opportunity to embed videos too, apparently. Watch this freaky clip here.


George Michael – Freedom ’90: We could’ve had more time with Mr. Michael if only he could control where he whipped out the Pixy Stix.

Divinyls – I Touch Myself: But I’m right here. I’m right here! You don’t have to… Aw, come on! Wait! No! I meant…!

Dee Lite – Groove Is In The Heart: Ever done acid?

D.J. Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – Summertime: Mr. Smith, this is the missing persons department. Yes, I know. But he insists you know him and you’ve worked together before. He swears he has video evidence of a previous working relationship.

Really? You need extras in Men In Black 3? No, I have no idea about this Jazzy Jeff person. None at all!

Janet Jackson – Love Will Never Do (Without You): Thankfully, we haven’t yet gotten near the Velvet Rope.

Prince – Cream: The second time we’ve been able to not only find but embed a Prince song! Huzzah! This makes Prince more of a sport than 1991’s #1. Can you guess what it is? I know, you’re dying to find out!

Bonnie Raitt – Something To Talk About: I mean, honestly. When you find out what the #1 song for 1991 was, and then find out it’s not embeddable, you’re gonna say, “What? For that? That’s so great, you won’t let Popdose embed it? Bollocks! Bleedin’ bollocks!”

C+C Music Factory – Gonna Make You Sweat: One of a handful of completely inescapable ’90s songs, and a staple of the Jock Jamz canon. It’s, dare I say it, EMBEDDABLE!

Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up: Oh great. Who slipped the Hair Club infomercial into the video roundup?!

Naughty By Nature – O.P.P.: This song features a technical term that describes Other Parish Participants. It’s totally ecclesiastical, I assure you.

L.L. Cool J. – Around The Way Girl: Welcome to Planet Ba-donk-a-donk.

Paula Abdul – Rush, Rush: The crazy cat lady returns and sends Neo over a cliff. Arrivederci!

And your #1 song for 1991 is…

Bryan Adams – Everything I Do (I Do For You): And the video is UNEMBEDDABLE. Thank you, Mr. Adams. Thank you for a video that is SO FREAKIN’ PERFECT in its very videoness that you won’t allow it to be embedded here! I get it, I get it – the food chain goes like this: The Godfather, Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, (Everything I Do) I Do In UNNECESSARY PARENTHESES!! (But if you’re really into that kind of thing, you can watch it here)

And our #1 song for 1991 is, with a bank-busting wide margin…

Chris Isaak – Wicked Game: Chris Isaak frolicking on a beach in black and white with a hot model. Meanwhile, what have you done this week? Some people are just too darn lucky.