How to fool the world into thinking you’re straight

Written by Lost in the '80s, Music

1. Find hot woman willing to be groped.

2. Grope said woman.

3. Have digital photo of said groping of said woman taken.

4. “Leak” said digital photo of said groping of said woman onto prominent website.

5. Deny, deny, deny, all while winking (voluntarily, this time).