an email recently sent to the staff:

Hello,

What do I need to do to get my album or a song reviewed by Popdose?

Thanks,

Brandon Michael Williams

Kelly Stitzel: Breakdance with nunchucks.

Dw. Dunphy: Be Jack Wagner…or, don’t be Benny Mardones.

Dave Lifton: Cover “What A Fool Believes.” Have you not been reading this site for the past three-and-a-half years?

Dan Wiencek: Does this remind anyone else of that Monty Python sketch “How to Do It”?

“How to play the flute: well, you blow in this end, and move your fingers up and down here.”

David Medsker: Send us a link of the System performing your songs.

Dw. Dunphy: “Who do you have to throttle, stuff in a bag and throw off a bridge at midnight to get my record reviewed on Popdose?”

David Medsker: What if he literally fucked Mike Love?

Lifton: Medsker wins.

Hare: For that one and the System reference.

Dunphy: Yes, but now I need to douche my eyes with bleach.

Stitzel: Make sure it’s a Christmas album/song.

Medsker: Duet with Wing.

Lifton: Now you’re pushing it.

Terje Fjelde: Tell us it’s a re-release, and that we used to love it in ’88.

Dunphy: “13 Tracks of Mom Jokes”

Chris Holmes: Score a duet with Ludacris.

Dave Steed: Say your album sounds like the Beatles meets Insane Clown Posse.

Holmes: Three words: Mick Jagger Supergroup.

Michael Parr: Don’t we just feed it to ReviewBot6000?