How to Get Your Album Covered at Popdose

Written by Music

In which the staff is on the receiving end of some begging, and responds childishly.

an email recently sent to the staff:

Hello,

What do I need to do to get my album or a song reviewed by Popdose?

Thanks,

Brandon Michael Williams

Kelly Stitzel: Breakdance with nunchucks.

Dw. Dunphy: Be Jack Wagner…or, don’t be Benny Mardones.

Dave Lifton: Cover “What A Fool Believes.” Have you not been reading this site for the past three-and-a-half years?

Dan Wiencek: Does this remind anyone else of that Monty Python sketch “How to Do It”?

“How to play the flute: well, you blow in this end, and move your fingers up and down here.”

David Medsker: Send us a link of the System performing your songs.

Dw. Dunphy: “Who do you have to throttle, stuff in a bag and throw off a bridge at midnight to get my record reviewed on Popdose?”

David Medsker: What if he literally fucked Mike Love?

Lifton: Medsker wins.

Hare: For that one and the System reference.

Dunphy: Yes, but now I need to douche my eyes with bleach.

Stitzel: Make sure it’s a Christmas album/song.

Medsker: Duet with Wing.

Lifton: Now you’re pushing it.

Terje Fjelde: Tell us it’s a re-release, and that we used to love it in ’88.

Dunphy: “13 Tracks of Mom Jokes”

Chris Holmes: Score a duet with Ludacris.

Dave Steed: Say your album sounds like the Beatles meets Insane Clown Posse.

Holmes: Three words: Mick Jagger Supergroup.

Michael Parr: Don’t we just feed it to ReviewBot6000?