Into the Ear of Madness: Week 1 — The Setup

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“Into the Ear of Madness (The Intro)”

Yup, that’s me. And my iPod. And David Foster. Everyone knows David Foster, right? The penultimate overproducer. The musician. The songwriter. The record executive. The TV reality star? Yes, indeed. The Canadian who alienated millions of rock fans with his supercommercial reinvention of bands like Chicago and the Tubes in the 1980s and the man who brought us Celine Dion, Josh Groban, and John Parr — or, as one blogger eloquently put it, “the least likely person on earth to undergo an ironic hipster resurgence.” Well, let’s give it a shot then, shan’t we?

David Foster was my hero throughout adolescence. I had an unabashed love for romantic ballads, dramatic key changes, and all kinds of e-piano-flavoured 1980s goodness. I’ve never been afraid to admit it, even though my tastes have expanded over the years.

I recently discussed my faded affection for the king of soft pop with Jeff, our Popdose editor, and here’s the deal we made: over the next year I will listen to nothing but David Foster on my iPod. I’ve loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. I cannot remove any of the tracks, and I can only add new tracks if they’re somehow related to David Foster. A deal with the devil? I keep wondering.

I’ve agreed to share my experience with all of you right here on Popdose. Will it really turn out to be a journey “into the ear of madness”? Will I grow to hate the sight of my iPod? Will the series be axed after a week due to serious displays of aggravation from Popdose readers? Time will tell.

Just for the record: No, I have not lost a bet. I’m not being punished by anyone. And as far as I know my faculties are intact — so far.

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t really want it to happen like this. I wanted to do it over the course of a weekend — like, 80 sleepless hours with David Foster. A whole year with nothing but David Foster on my iPod seems to be a bit over the top, even for my tastes. But Jeff wouldn’t have it any other way. And who am I to raise my voice against Jeff Almighty of Popdose? No, you’re right, I had to oblige.

Skylark c. 1972

Skylark. David Foster in the middle, Donny Gerrard on the far right.

Skylark — “Wildflower,” from Skylark (1972)

We start off with Foster’s first hit, a ballad (shocker!) Well, actually, he didn’t really write it. And Dave Richardson, the lyricist, says that Foster, though the bandleader, was very democratic about everything, and he kindly stepped back on this tune, claiming it would sound better without the keys. Foster — the minimalist. What a way to start the series! And what a long way we have to go!

Anyway, so Foster didn’t play much on it. He didn’t produce it. That honor goes to Eirik the Norwegian, or Eirik Wangberg, who collaborated frequently with Paul McCartney at the time (so that’s what vikings did in 1972). At this point Foster, 22, was still three years removed from his first co-production — Bruce Miller’s “Rude Awakening” in 1975.

But let’s be fair, Skylark was Foster’s band — he probably fitted in those Mellotron synths at the end (he couldn’t help himself, after all), and I’m sure he did the string arrangement, too. And I can definitely hear his voice on the background vocals.

His first wife, Bonnie Jean Cook, was a member of the band as well, along with Donny Gerrard, who sings on “Wildflower” and collaborated with Foster later on. We’ll get back to all that in good time. Ah, we’re rolling! This feels good.

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  • hagen
    Good luck. As a result of your All Foster, All the Time, modern medicine predicts with a 98% certainty that your skeleton will undergo painful changes to accommodate your new stature, your pancreas will increase in size to meet your duodenum's demands for more enzymes to process the high Foster content, and you might suffer periodic blindness whenever Peter Cetera appears on your iPod. Did I mention the diabetic coma? I probably shouldn't. Good luck, seriously. Your courage is an inspiration. It's almost like the Apollo astronauts landing on the moon, only to find it's Celine Dion's ass.
  • "It's almost like the Apollo astronauts landing on the moon, only to find it's Celine Dion's ass." Comment of the year!
  • Hahahaha. But I know I'm landing on Celine Dion's ass, so I'm nothing like the Apollo astronauts.
  • JonCummings
    Maybe if Jeff would agree to shorten your sentence to "30 Days," we could get you a gig with Morgan Spurlock.
  • The moon probably has fewer pock marks.
  • Wow, and I thought listening to bad '80s music for the next two years was going to very painful at times. You have trumped me. Good luck on this task. Looks like I'm going to be listening to a LOT of David Foster in the next year.
  • Thank you! My aim is to make David Foster the Rickroll of the year (whatever that means).
  • A Fostroll! Sweet!
  • For what it's worth, I thought Foster did a hell of a job on that Tubes album.

    Everything else, though...
  • Old_Davy
    OK, I admit that I love that Skylark tune, but had no idea that was the beginning of "Fosteritis".

    Good luck Terje. If you make it through the entire year without losing your marbles, perhaps you could challenge Jeff to listen to nothing but "Metal Machine Music" for an entire year.
  • Or better yet, Kenny G's "Songbird"?
  • wombosi
    People sure did make some bad hair and clothing choices back then. Wow!
  • Say what you want but "Stay the Night" is fucking essential!
  • ozarkmatt
    After what he did to Andrea Bocelli, Foster is dead to me. I mean, seriously, one of the greatest voices on the planet and you turn him into another Michael Bolton?
    Let me know if you want some the worst of the "Amore" CD. There is so many to choose from.
  • I hear he wants to take on Sting now. Imagine that. It would've been an interesting clash of egos, but I don't think it will ever happen (and there's no word from Sting that he would ever consider such an odd collaboration)
  • You like whips and chains too, don't you? It's the only reasonable explanation.
  • I like softness.
  • Soft masochism? Never heard of it. Wait t'il you can't tell the difference between The Tubes' "I Don't Want To Wait Anymore" and Chicago's "Hard Habit To Break" and we'll discuss softness afterward.
  • Oh god. I was trying to be all positive and patriotic, thinking things like "Foster's got a great oeuvre of work, that should be a tolerable year...."

    And then I read your comment, DW. And laughed uncontrollably for five minutes.
  • I predict outright madness after the second listening of the Love Theme from St. Elmo's Fire.
  • No way. I love it!
  • I love Foster's River of Love album - hopefully that's on the Ipod.

    And yeah, there's a special place in hell for me.
  • MichaelFortes
    Donny Gerrard kinda sounds like a young Boz Scaggs...
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