Into the Ear of Madness: Week 15 — Hitman!

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Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by David Foster. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.

Lee Ritenour – “If I’m Dreaming (Don’t Wake Me),” from Earth Run, 1986. Vocals: Phil Perry. Foster played keyboards and synth bass.

I bring excellent news, good friends! After nearly a lifetime in the music business, David Foster has decided to call it quits to write his autobiography. It’s long overdue — we’re finally getting Foster’s take on his own reputation as an all-powerful, evil mastermind of popular music, not to mention juicy details from his collaborations with thousands of artists and musicians over the years. I can’t wait to get behind the scenes of all those magnificent recording sessions that he participated in during the early ’80s — this is the real story of “yacht rock.” Unless, God forbid, he decides to focus on his marriages, his kids or the later parts of his career.

It’s due November 11 – just in time for the Christmas season. And he’s so modest: It’s called “Hitman: Forty Years Making Music, Topping the Charts, and Winning Grammys” and comes with an accompanying double CD with, let’s face it, very little punch — among the contributors are Babyface, Eric Benet, Andrea Bocelli, Michael Bublé, Peter Cetera, Charice, Celine Dion, Kenny G and… well, you get the idea. Boz Scaggs is on it, though.

The good news (for me) is that there will be no need to go on writing about David Foster here on Popdose come November 2008. Yes! Christopher Cross can finally reclaim my iPod. Cross has never collaborated with Foster, at least not to my knowledge. Bomb! And for God’s sake, don’t hit me with some Google search proving me wrong. I can’t take it anymore!

[Not to worry, Ear of Madness fans. Thanks to some last-minute "negotiations," we've made sure Terje isn't going anywhere. Literally. -Ed.]

Anyway, buy the book, buy the CD’s, read a chapter a month and listen in to the pulchritudinous sound of Katharine McPhee and Michael Johns. Yes, they’re in on it, too. It will be almost as good as Ear of Madness — I’m certain that Foster has plenty of snark lined up for Celine and Kenny G.

I’m not paid by Warner Brothers or anything, I’m just, you know, a fan.

The Tubes – “Don’t Want to Wait Anymore,” from The Completion Backwards Principle, 1981. Foster produced, co-wrote and played.

A conditional fan, maybe, but a fan nonetheless. Speaking of fans, the Tubes probably lost a few when they heard this ballad for the very first time back in 1981. It doesn’t sound like anything the Tubes ever did before or after — so I think it’s safe to say that this song had a lot to do with David Foster. He produced and co-wrote it, and I’ve always considered it to be the original template for the ballads he did so well for Chicago.

Mix “Don’t Want to Wait Anymore” with a Peter Cetera ballad from his 1981 self-titled solo album called “On the Line” (which David Foster had nothing to do with) and Bill Champlin’s “Tonight Tonight,” from his second solo album Runaway (1981), and you basically have all of the Chicago ballads from 16 (1982) and 17 (1984) wrapped up — “Hard to Say I’m Sorry,” “You’re the Inspiration,” “Hard Habit to Break,” “Love Me Tomorrow,” (there are so many!) and “Remember the Feeling.” Also, let’s not forget “If She Would Have Been Faithful…” and “Will You Still Love Me” from 18 (1986).

And let me just say this: I’m an undiscerning and romantic fool. I love every single one of these mawkish ballads. Always have, always will. How’s that for credibility?

Bill Champlin – “Tonight Tonight,” from Runaway, 1981. Foster produced, co-wrote and played.

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  • hagen
    Psst! Hey, Terje, if you can stand the weather, you can hang out at my place until your contract is renegotiated. You'll have to listen to Bruce Cockburn, Marillion, Lou Reed, Slade, and Two Cow Garage until they release you from your Fosterage, but it's a small price to pay for freedom. The Tubes tune above should convince you of my sincerity. In other words, come with me if you want to live.
  • Sara
    No Christopher Cross never did a session with Foster. Don't forget in 1982 he also produced the cast album of Dreamgirls (badly) and worked on Dionne Warwick's "Friends in Love" which was produced by Christopher Cross' friend Jay Graydon
  • Sharon
    I've purchased the book (& the DVD/CD) and received it today. I'm about half-way through it and he does cover a good deal of his sessions, working with Maurice White, Chicago, and even Boz. He doesn't discuss his marriages much, he devotes a chapter to his early childhood (4-18), then moves on to the "Wildflower" days and so forth. I'm at the early 80s point, so things are cookin along. I'm sure there will be a logical reason and it will be tied up neatly in the end, but it starts out with "The Comeback" around 1990, doing "Unforgettable" and hitting Ben Vereen. I believe this and the final 5 (of 9) chapters is where it may bore you to sleep, as far as his musical accomplishments go. Oh, and I take back my note about not discussing his marriage...he devotes chapter 8 to the failing marriage with Linda, "Princes of Malibu" fiasco, Groban, Bublé and his kids. You'll probably just need to rip that chapter out. I will say though, that Terje's notes are pretty accurate and I'm wondering if you wrote the "early years" portion.
    As a Foster fan, I am, of course, enjoying reading this memoir. It's written with that David Foster attitude (for the most part) of, "I don't give a shit what you think", so I like that.

    I haven't received the DVD, but really, I mostly wanted the book anyway. The DVD should be, uh, interesting...with some coffee. No, I'm sure it's stimulating and wildly entertaining. [As someone who idolizes the man, I'm required to say that].
  • Sharon
    Oh and I also love the fact that the book jacket has this lovely sentiment from Ronnie Hawkins: "He's got one of the best ears in the business, this cat does. David Foster can hear an amoeba fart in a typhoon and tell you what key it's in."
    I love that they included it amongst all the other flowery praises and sentiments from Streisand, Dion, Boccelli and the like.
  • Ronnie Hawkins sounds like a funny guy. I can't wait to read it. I'm sure I will enjoy it - possibly even the marriage bits. I just read Al Kooper's "Backstage Passes and Backstabbing Bastards" for the first time, and I'm hoping for a little bit of the same candor, but I'm not counting on it. I pre-ordered it on Amazon, but I think it's shipping on November 11, so I'll just have to be patient. Maybe you ought to do the Ear of Madness posts until then, Sharon?

    Oh, and that whole "I'm wondering if you wrote the "early years" portion" part really warmed my heart. Thank you!
  • Sharon
    As tempting as it sounds, I couldn't write the "Madness" posts for two reasons, I'm not a writer (barely a reader) and two, your knowledge and wit far surpass my abilities. And I do not have the fortune of having 1200+ David Foster gems on my iPod (though I do have the Billboard Top 100 for 1980-1989, 1000 songs, many which are Foster's). I am stuck in the 80s.

    Also, going back to Foster's early years, I think he may have read your posts as he was writing his book. He even writes, briefly, about the Keane bros. I mean really, who knew about that besides Foster, the Keanes and you? I think you should, as someone suggested, interview Foster. Then you could nail him for royalties from the book sales. (to the Foster lawyers, I'm kidding)

    The other thing I wanted to mention was that I have become a Popdose junkie, so thanks (I think).

    This will be my last comment until I see the next "Madness" post! That's more of a promise than a threat, really. Nonetheless, I am anxiously awaiting the next brilliant posting (no pressure).
  • New post coming up on Thursday! See you then. Last week's post wasn't published as scheduled due to a Wordpress bug or something like that - at least according to my editor. But I think it may be a conspiracy - I'm looking into it.
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