Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Lost in the ’80s: Real Life

by John C. Hughes

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Real LifeAnyone who’s been hanging around these parts with any frequency for the past few months has probably picked up on my unabashed love for pop candy peddlers Mike Chapman and Nicky Chinn, responsible for many hits from a number of different artists. I’m sure you know Chapman went on to produce seminal albums by the Knack, Blondie, and more ’80s faves. He also began collaborating with a young songwriter by the name of Holly Knight, churning out smashes like “Love Is a Battlefield” for Pat Benatar and “The Best” for Tina Turner.

But not everything Chapman and Knight touched turned into a gold record. Take for example Real Life’s 1986 single “Babies,” from their U.S. compilation Down Comes the Hammer. A song pretty much forgotten by everyone since it didn’t chart, but I believe we can place the blame for its failure on one man: Michael Des Barres.

Ah, Michael Des Barres. Pop box-office poison. A string of failed bands lie in his wake, including Silverhead, Detective, and Chequered Past. Never heard of ‘em? Surprise. Perhaps you remember him playing a punk rocker on WKRP in Cincinnati? Or joining the cast of The New WKRP in Cincinnati? How about his role as Mudoc on MacGyver? Oh, I know how you’ll remember him — he was the guy foolish enough to try and replace Robert Palmer in the Power Station.

Yup, that guy.

So, what’s he got to do with Real Life and “Babies”? Well, Des Barres put his fail-stink all over the song, sharing a cowriting credit with my beloved Holly and Mike. Admittedly, Knight and Des Barres had shared some success writing “Obsession” for Animotion in 1984, but despite remixing it for rock radio — “Babies (Short Rock Mix)” (download) — and the clubs — “Babies (Club Version)” (download) — “Babies” was a big stiff, and Real Life failed to follow up on all the “Send Me an Angel” goodwill they’d earned up to that point. In fact, they wouldn’t score another hit until remixing and rereleasing “Send Me an Angel” three years later on yet another compilation.

Seriously, blame Des Barres. I always do. “You forgot to get milk like I asked you to!” Sorry, Michael Des Barres distracted me. “You forgot to pick me up at the airport!” Sorry, Michael Des Barres came over and wouldn’t leave. “How could you cheat on me?” Sorry, Michael Des Barres made me do it.

See? Works every time.

“Babies” did not chart.

Get Real Life music at Amazon or on Real Life

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 at 11:30 am and is filed under Lost in the '80s, Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • Say what you want about Des Barres but Silverhead had some killer stuff! Check out the song "More Than Your Mouth Can Hold" for some stellar glammed up rock!
  • Darren
    That Chequered Past record...peeyew!
    And that was a record I wanted to like so badly...just imagine...a band with Clem and Nigel from Blondie, Steve Jones, Tony Sales and, sigh, DES BARRES. I see it has just recently been re-issued. Obviously, there is some re-issue label out there with more money than taste.
  • :::theroux
    John, here's something else to blame Des Barres for: He and Holly Knight actually recorded a version of "Obsession" that preceded Animotion's version. You can hear it in this trailer for "A Night In Heaven", you know, the 1980's Chris Atkins wiggle-fest. Check it out...awesome & awful!
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=IEd6LIMvo9g
  • JohnHughes
    Oh yeah, I've heard that...BRUTAL!

    I BLAME DES BARRES.
  • rcket
    Yeah, true. But he does gain some props from me as part of the cast of "To Sir, With Love."
  • Breadalbane
    C'mon, Des Barres was very funny on WKRP playing the lead singer of Scum of The Earth.

    As for the New WKRP in Cincinnati...I'm sorry, but you've fallen for an urban legend. It didn't really exist. Oh, I know that you can find websites that claim it did, and you can talk to people who claim to have seen it , and it's on DesBarres' resume, and it was listed in TV Guides of the period and so forth. But it's all a conspiracy, because no such show ever aired. I know this, because if it had aired, I surely would have watched it -- and just as surely, a WKRP revival couldn't be so uttterly disappointing that my brain, in a desperate act of self-preservation, would completely and instantaneously wipe out all memories of the show even as I was watching it.

    Could it?
  • Are you a Device fan, John? (Okay, "fan" probably isn't the right word.) "22B3" was one of the first cassettes I ever owned. I really liked "Hanging on a Heart Attack" in the summer of '86. I thought, "This is so ... so ... atmospheric!" It's not, but it sounded cool at the time.
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