Mix Six: “Apple’s Genius Mix”

Ted Asregadoo October 13, 2009 18

mixsixDOWNLOAD THE FULL MIX HERE

I think David Medsker can relate to this… Back in my salad days of college, I made extra money with two turntables and a microphone.  More often than not, some guy at a wedding reception I was working at would amble up to my DJ rig with a toothpick in his mouth, trying in vain to dig out a small bit of rubber chicken or steak, and stand there looking at my setup.  I’d get the once over twice, and then it started.

“So, you do this a lot?” Queried semi-drunk reception attendee.

“Yeah,” I would answer (knowing full well what was coming next).

“Seems like a pretty easy job.  I mean, all you do is get paid to play records.  Hell, any trained monkey can do that!  How hard can it be? You just play some songs, get paid, and go home.  Seems like a dream job to me.”

“Well,” I would patiently try and explain, “It’s not as easy as you think.  You have to read the crowd, pick songs that you think they will like, watch the tempo of the mix, and know when to play a heavy hitter that’s going to be a crowd pleaser. It’s not science, but there’s a skill at doing this right.”

“Like I said,” Mr. Bibulous Blowhard would intone,”any trained monkey can do this. In fact, I’ll bet you one day there’ll be a computer that can do what you’re doing.”

Flash forward twentysomething years later, and the fucker’s right. There is a computer that can do what I used to do. In fact, if you work in the radio industry, a computer has by and large replaced what DJs used to do. Yep, most DJs who work in the radio industry just play whatever the music director has scheduled into the computer.  They rarely have any control over the music content, so it stands to reason that it would only be a matter of time when “shuffle” mode on your favorite music player would morph into DJ mode. And so it is with Apple’s “Genius Mixes” — which comes with the latest version of iTunes.

What the computer does (for those who don’t know), is analyze your entire library and then group songs by genre, decade, and style.  Since the trained monkey has arrived, I thought I would see if Apple could come up with a good mix based on its algorithm.   So, first things first. I randomly picked one of the mixes iTunes put together for me, and this was it:

Picture 1
Picture 3

Okay, not the sexiest title, but, ladies and gentlemen, behold Apple’s Genius Mix that any trained monkey only Apple’s iTunes can put together! Oh, and for the record, Apple can pick the music, but has yet to figured out how to write about the music you’re going to hear.  So take that, Apple! Yeah, ON THE GROUND!

“Shadow Dancing,” Andy Gibb (download)

“Second Hand News,” Fleetwood Mac (download)

“Horse with No Name,” America (download)

“Do Ya,” Electric Light Orchestra (download)

“25 or 6 to 4,” Chicago (download)

“Same Old Lang Syne,” Dan Fogelberg (download)

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  • http://www.jasonhare.com jasonhare

    …”Blues Mix 2″? There are common threads between all these songs, but that's not one of them.

    Love that you got stuck with Fogelfuck, though.

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    '70s early '80s pop/rock might have been more accurate, but Fogelberg? That was just the cherry on top, wasn't it? As Giles pointed out, “Hey, the Genius Mix really IS genius! It's telling you which songs to wipe from your hard drive.”

  • http://www.wingsforwheels.net dslifton

    This is less an indictment of the Genius feature than it is of your taste, Ted.

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    Well, there's more than one mix that iTunes created for me, but this was the first one I pointed my mouse to, and well, you get Fogelberg. But you know, except for Fogelberg and Andy Gibb, these songs would have been played on AOR stations in the late '70s. Well, America might be a stretch, but certainly Fleetwood Mac, ELO, and Chicago.

  • http://www.bullz-eye.com DavidMedsker

    Fogelfuck, ahhhhhhh! See, that's your fault for having that in your iTunes library. Holy shit, I have that in my library, too! But not for long…

    I never really ran into the 'any trained monkey' guy, but my old DJ partner and I did butt heads with the owner of one campus bar for appealing too much to the brothers. (They didn't spend any money once they got in.)

    Owner: “Hey man, the guys at the bar want to hear some rock and roll.” (
    Me: (*looks out at packed dance floor*) You're kidding, right?

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    I was a club DJ at this bar near an Air Force base, and it was the oddest crowd. From 6pm-9pm, it was all rednecks. From 9pm to 12am, it was mostly black folks. The owner wanted me to play modern rock. Imagine how THAT went over with both groups.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    I was never the Trained Monkey guy, but I'll admit I was the “Get the DJ shitfaced and when he's not looking, find the disc with the Chicken Dance on it and torch that mother with a Sterno lamp” guy.

    Then music was all dumped onto hard drive, the CD boxes disappeared and, damn it, they're dragging me to the floor for the Chicken Dance. Technology sucks it.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    1. “What in the hay-ell is this whiny British shit, boy?”

    2. “You better get some beats up on there fast, mu'fukah.”

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    Close. One redneck guy bought me 12 beers for playing Warren Zevon's “Leave My Monkey Alone.” I told him I would if he danced in the middle of the crowd (which at that time, was transitioning from redneck to black folks). He did – for a bit — and then took off when people started complaining.

    One woman was so mad I was playing Zevon, she busted into my booth and said “Listen, right now this is a Ni$*er club, okay? So get that shit off the turntable.”

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    I pray for you, Dw…

  • http://www.wingsforwheels.net dslifton

    I think Zevon would have loved that story…

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    Oh come on, if I kept you ankle-deep in Sam Adams, you'd have been thanking me instead.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    …And consequently would have written a song, followed in close succession by “Dave's Trouser Demon” (a Letterman joke, not a Lifton jab, mind you – unless you have a trouser demon too).

  • http://www.wingsforwheels.net dslifton

    You'll never find out.

  • http://www.popdose.com DwDunphy

    Fortunately. I prefer the empty meat case versus the sausage sale.

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    Oh no, it's about having to endure “The Chicken Dance.”

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    Oh no, it's about having to endure “The Chicken Dance.”

  • http://www.popdose.com Ted

    Oh no, it's about having to endure “The Chicken Dance.”