Mix Six: “Soundtrack to a Future Zombie Apocalypse”
DOWNLOAD THE FULL MIX HERE Like millions of people who are TV watchers, I’m hooked on AMC’s The Walking Dead. Yes, I had my qualms with the pilot episode (See Scott Malchus’ review of the show and the comments section), but that’s okay. I mean, I was a huge fan of LOST, but I still had my issues with the way they failed to explain a number of things they set up in the show. But this isn’t a post on TV shows that often failed to be consistent. Nope, this is a mix that takes the impending zombie apocalypse that will come one day — and I use as my source the unimpeachable journal of science, Cracked.com. And when it does, will you know what to do? Probably not. You can, however, get yourself prepared by watching movies like Zombieland, where Jesse Eisenberg’s character has 32 rules you need to adhere to if you’re going to survive. Double Tap and cardio are essential. So to get your cardio conditioning started, here’s a mix that’ll help you prepare for what’s coming and remind you that some of these musicians have been sounding the alarm long before many of us realized.
See you on the other side!
“Zombie Stomp,” Ozzy Osbourne (Download)
Poor Ozzy, in his mind, the “Zombie Stomp” could be read as a metaphor for being completely hung over. But really Oz, you have to know that when you write lyrics like this, “Thinkin’ how it could have been/If I had never let them in,” that you were unwittingly telling us something important: when the flesh eating hordes are clawing at your door, don’t let them in. If you do, well let me refer you to rule 22: “When in doubt, know your way out.”
“Help I’m Alive,” Metric (Download)
First off, I want to apologize for featuring this song twice, because I don’t like to repeat myself in the music that’s spotlighted in this feature. In 2009, this song was part of the Halloween Mix 666, but it’s such a great fit for this mix, that I couldn’t ignore it. I mean, just listen to the opening lyrics and know that when faced with something whose only desire is to devour you, your first reaction will probably be trembling. And yes, we have a fight or flight instinct, but don’t give in to your desire to fight said zombie unless you have a weapon that can be aimed squarely at its head. There’s no guarantee that this will work in stopping it from attacking you, but you’ll have the advantage of blowing away a zombie’s main weapon against eating you: its mouth.
“Red Sector A,” Rush (Download)
When Neil Peart wrote the lyrics to this song back in the early ’80s, he was inspired by Geddy Lee’s mother — a holocaust survivor — who recalled to him what she went through during World War II. Be that as it may, Peart must have known that this song is also about the coming zombie apocalypse. “Sickness into insanity?” C’mon! This is all about the virus that spreads like wildfire and we all know that with certain viruses, you can only quarantine them for so long ’til they jump to the general population and then, well, we’re screwed.
“Early Sunsets Over Monroeville,” My Chemical Romance (Download)
One of the things that you must remember when the zombies take over is — and this is going to be very difficult to accept — you will have to let go of loved ones who are now zombies. They aren’t the same person you loved and cared for. They are now driven by one instinct: to eat your flesh. So, when you get all maudlin for the good times, holding hands, cuddling, and the like, just know that you’ll be doing you and your (former) loved one a favor by ending it with the kiss of a bullet between the ears.
“Kernkraft 400,” Zombie Nation (Download)
Here’s a great song to work on your cardio endurance. And, believe me, you’ll need it. Granted some zombies are slow, but if you get the ones from 28 Days Later, you’ll really have to book it across some tough terrain. I’m talking about burnt out cars, dead bodies, a pile of Twinkies that’s just laying there ready for the taking. But keep your focus. Look back only to give you that adrenaline boost you’re going to need to outrun the zombies. Once you get to a safe area, and if there electricity, you might want to fire up a laptop, and view the video for this song — if You Tube’s servers are still functioning. It’ll give you some ideas about finding a hatch a la LOST, and, if there are a couple of hot girls around, you can have a lot of fun.
“Re: Your Brains,” Jonathan Coulton (Download)
And finally, if you just can’t take it anymore, there’s always this advice from a zombie’s perspective about the futility of survival after the zombies take over.
So, if you’ve read this far, maybe you’re the type of person who likes the horror genre. If so, a great gift for the holidays is a comic Scott Malchus co-wrote called Wendover. It’s only $5.00 with shipping and handling and is well worth it. I purchased a copy when the Wendover Project site went live and had a chance to read it the other day. If you like detective mysteries with a twist of horror, you’re going to love Wendover. It’s not a zombie apocalypse tale, but it’s creepy enough that’ll it keep you away from Wendover, Nevada for fear that some of the things in this story may be true.
Sleep well, my friends.