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Lost in the '80s, Music

"…you don’t know, you better hang with me!"

I love remembering songs that are perfect for “Lost in the ’80s”, and Nolan Thomas’ “Yo Little Brother”...

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Current Events, Meta, Music

songs for jefitoman

Yes, I know. It’s Monday morning and it hurts. But fear not—the Monday Morning mp3 Megabonanza is here to soothe your aching...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

please don’t include the ham

Every week, it’s something new and exciting at the grocery store. This morning, I spied with my little eye two words I never want to...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

"Yesterday’s shattered / Tomorrows don’t matter…"

Hiccupy. Chipry. Helium-powered. Chipmunk. All those descriptors have been applied to the singing voice of Altered Images’ Clare...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the great cereal gross-off, part II! (sort of.)

Okay, so, originally this was going to be another GREAT CEREAL GROSS-OFF! between Malt-O-Meal’s new Blueberry Muffin Tops (“The...

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Music

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Harry Nilsson, part 1

Ladies and gentlemen, in the center ring, presenting NILSSON, and his Shandemanium Shadow Poe! Ha ha ha! And his Shande…ha!...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

Not the Greg Kihn song

Visit my other blog today for Part One of my Rock & Roll Jeopardy experience. It’s 80s-riffic. More Lost in the ’80s...

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Meta, Music

as you were

‘Twas a dark and stormy afternoon:! Seriously, you guys. It was almost sunny when I left the house this morning—something...

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Meta

meet the bean

It’s twelve weeks tomorrow, so I guess now’s when we’re supposed to start making general announcements. I’m not...

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Meta

WorstChoiceDigital

So we’ve been shopping for a camcorder. Having never owned one (unless that bulky VHS thing my parents owned counts), it’s been...

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Meta, Music

spring forward

What a weekend. I spent a lot of it with a shovel in my hands—determined to remake our bad-mojo-infested house back into a cozy...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

“Came a long way from the Valley / Aim so high / Shot so true…”

When it comes to spectacular pop flame-outs, it’s still tough to match the Knack, even 25 years after the phenomenal success of...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

Why, Mott’s? Why?

So, as some of you may remember, during a recent trip to the grocery store, I discovered a terrible new development in applesauce...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

winning the war on consumers

“These are dire times, men,” said the CEO of Sunshine Foods to the members of the board. “Profits are up, sure, but what...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

"With a name like ‘Wax Trax,’ it has to be good."

That was my mantra in 1988, when industrial music was in its golden age, and I was a sucker for anything released on the Chicago Wax Trax...

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Music

attention!

Captain Video has returned from the 1980th Dimension!...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

The Things That Dreams Are Made Of

Question: You’re the lead singer and lyricist of an up and coming underground synth-based band. You’ve just lost your...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

oh my god you guys it’s so bad

It’s called B(e), pronounced “B-to-the-E,” and it’s Budweiser’s latest innovation in their quest to make...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

GROSS-OFF, part 2: Asian Edition

At the grocery store last weekend, I noticed a pair of new, horrible-looking food products, so naturally, I had to buy them. I thought it...

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Current Events

Buffalo makes you stupid

I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but I am: Policymakers and citizens pondering the merits of Social Security reform should consider...

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Meta, Music

exhale

...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

Frankie Say…No More.

It was tough being one of two Frankie Goes to Hollywood fans in my suburban/rural Ohio hometown in 1985. The popular musical force at...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

I’ll Show You Something Special…or not.

Sometimes you go through your old albums and run across one that leaves you scratching your head, wondering “why did I buy...

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Consumerism, Junk Food

the GREAT CEREAL GROSS-OFF, round 1

Ladies and gentlemen, in the BLUE corner, hailing from POST and loaded with TEN ESSENTIAL VITAMINS & MINERALS (including IRON AND ZINC...

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Music

the complete idiot’s guide to david baerwald

Miss Christina drives a 944 Satisfaction oozes from her pores She keeps rings on her fingers, marble on her floor Cocaine in her dresser,...

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Music, Television

the return of CAPTAIN VIDEO!

Greetings, Videots! Come read about my latest brave excursion into the 1980th dimension–at my new digs!...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

Even the muggers are off the streets by eight

Once upon a time, Bob Geldof was an asshole, and infinitely more interesting. I’m using the term “asshole” in the most...

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Music

fuckin’ sad

from Billboard: Muscle Shoals Sound Studios, at which artists including the Rolling Stones, Aretha Franklin, Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson,...

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Lost in the '80s, Music

Wilde Child

Welcome to Lost in the ‘80s. Here’s where you’ll find the other side of all the big hits you remember…the failed...

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Meta, Music

rejoice

...