Insane Clown Posse’s Literary Classics Reconsidered

As anybody down with the clowns knows, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope are adherents to the controversial theory that William Shakespeare did not write his own plays. ICP believes that the true author was Sir Francis Bacon. This caused a controversy within the band’s tight-knit fanbase, the majority of which are of the theory that the plays were written by Edward De Vere, the Earl of Oxford. For that reason, this series of leatherbound editions of Shakespeare’s plays, heavily footnoted by J and Shaggy with literary and historical evidence pointing to Bacon’s authorship, were largely burned and shat upon at ICP concerts.

 

Drake’s Cakes

The packaging for this line of individually wrapped snacks endorsed by the Canadian rapper Drake claimed to be the “best you’ve ever had,” but they confused consumers due to the fact that there was already a line of products called Drake’s Cakes. However, these Drake’s Cakes weren’t cakes. They were fruit pies—in Canada, they call “cake” what we call “fruit pies.”

 

Slip-Nots By Slipknot

The band’s mostly teenage audience did not want, nor did it need, adhesive bathtub strips to prevent falls.

 

Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer Books

While Jon Bon Jovi ultimately established himself as a savvy businessman (he invented the Arena Football League), his first attempt to cross-promote himself was a huge failure. These “prayer books” were just Bibles, but with a picture of a shirtless Jon Bon Jovi on the cover, and every utterance of “God,” “Lord,” and “Jesus” replaced with the words “Bon Jovi.” The entire text of the Sermon on the Mount was replaced with the lyrics to “Bad Medicine.”

 

Bon Jovi’s Dad Medicine

A play on words referring to the Bon Jovi hit, “Bad Medicine,” Dad Medicine was an attempt to expand the band’s audience beyond teenage girls to adult men. Dad Medicine was a novelty, merely low-end scotch packaged in a pink, Pepto-Bismol-like bottle, and adorned with a picture of a shirtless Jon Bon Jovi.

 

Bon Jovi’s Bad Venison

Another play on the words “Bad Medicine,” this was a line of frozen deer steaks and packaged venison jerkey. While Bon Jovi intended the “bad” to mean “good” or “awesome,” as in the Michael Jackson parlance of the era, the meat was actually sourced from an unlicensed slaughterhouse in Manitoba. More than 100 people, mostly teenage girls, were sent to the hospital with food poisoning after eating Bon Jovi’s Bad Venison, which featured a shirtless picture of Bon Jovi on the package.

 

Bon Jovi’s Chad Dennison

Yet another play on the title “Bad Medicine,” Bon Jovi hired more than 200,000 unemployed dock workers from his home state of New Jersey to change their name to Chad Dennison and work as servants for his fans, all while wearing T-shirts decorated with shirtless pictures of Bon Jovi. While Jon Bon Jovi was awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom for his efforts to stimulate the economy, very few Chad Dennisons found work. Most now live together in an insular, tribal community in rural Idaho.

 

Bon Jovi’s New Jersey

Fans who purchased Bon Jovi’s album New Jersey received a voucher that they could exchange for ownership of the state of New Jersey. No vouchers were redeemed.