Ahoy mateys! Got an extra $650 to $1,800 burning a hole in your pocket? Do you long to be stuck on a boat with a bunch of musicians at least a decade removed from any cultural relevance? Then you’re in luck! Because this October, you can join the likes of Mark McGrath and Sugar Ray, Smash Mouth, Ed Kowalczyk of Live, Spin Doctors, and Marcy Playground for a cruise from Miami to the Bahamas. It’s sure to be an ear-pluggingly great time.
Naturally, the Popdose staff had some thoughts when we found out about this little nautical jaunt…
Dw. Dunphy – WHY…THE…HELL…?
Chris Holmes – Holy shit, look at that lineup. Can we import some Somali pirates over here for a week?
Actually, the missus and I were thinking of taking a cruise this year for our 10th anniversary. This solves everything!
Dunphy – Stuck on a boat with Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray and Ed from Live. The only thing that would make this complete would be if this was one of those Ebola-infected Princess Cruises.
Ted Asregadoo – It’s close to being subtitled “The One Hit Wonder Cruise.” But, alas, many of these groups charted more than once.
Dunphy – Only because it was the ’90s and we were glad we didn’t live near O.J.
Holmes – It would not surprise me in the least to find out that Guy Fieri is the special guest chef.
Asregadoo – “And Rachael Ray as Your Cruise Director.”
Thierry Côté – One wet sprocket away from having to change all your plans for Oct. 18-21.
Holmes – 10 minutes out of port and the poor bastards on that ship will envy the Costa Concordia passengers.
Dunphy – “Please hit an iceberg, please hit an iceberg, please hit an iceberg…Acapulco?! DAMMIT!!”
Dan Walsh – Before I even clicked the link, I figured Smash Mouth was going to be a part of the lineup.
Full disclosure: in 3+ years for my 40th birthday I’m going on one of these band cruises.
The one hosted by 311.
Holmes – It’ll be the most bro-tastic voyage ever!
Côté – Rachael Ray’s SXSW showcase is pretty well regarded for its food and good music – no way she’d get involved in this.
Dunphy – I remember when she was trying to plug her Brooklyn mini-fest one year on her show… the one headlined by Fuck Buttons.
Michael Parr – Goodness, don’t lump Toad in with these folks.
Also, what … Art Alexis isn’t answering his phone?
Holmes – I love the FAQ from the cruise. Question #1: What is included in the price?
- Live music every night featuring a great lineup!
- A nightly show in the Dynasty Lounge Theater.(One show per person – Early or Late)
- Performances around the ship.
- Q and A sessions.
- Opportunities to get up close and personal with musical guests.
- Surprise jam sessions
- And other surprises
- Musicians telling stories about how awesome the ’90s were.
- You can finally ask the other members of Sugar Ray what their names are.
- The winner of the 50-50 raffle gets to have one of the guys from Marcy Playground come home with them and crash on their couch.
Asregadoo – I thought “other surprises” are Dysentery and listening to Smash Mouth sing “Love on the Rocks.”
David Medsker – Three things:
- As far as nailing your demographic goes, this cruise is fucking amazing.
- I do not see Dave Lowery playing well with the other children.
- Fuck you guys, I like the Gin Blossoms.
Côté – Hey, the Gin Blossoms and Cracker both released some good music.
Seriously, I want NPR to rehire Emily White (their intern who didn’t pay for music) to interview Lowery about this and cover the cruise.
Scott Malchus – I think we should raise the money and send someone from the staff on this cruise.
Dunphy – Somebody we’re trying to get rid of from the staff? Oh God, are you guys booking a cruise for me?