Pulling Rank: “Smash” You Later

Written by Pulling Rank, Television

This week’s Pulling Rank is dedicated to the delicious ridiculousness that is Smash, on the occasion of its first season finale.

Pulling Rank is a weekly column in which Kelly Stitzel ranks a variety of pop culture-related things with little to no commentary, but sometimes with audio or visual accompaniment. There’s no scientific method to the rankings — these are just Kelly’s opinions. You’ll probably disagree with her — just don’t be a dick about it.

When I reviewed the pilot of Smash back in February, I honestly didn’t see myself watching it past two or three episodes. But here I am three months later, happy that it, in all its ridiculousness, exists and sad that tonight is its season finale. Monday nights will be lonely this summer without it. In Smash‘s honor, I wanted to dedicate a Pulling Rank list to it, but I couldn’t decide what the list should be about. So, I’m just going to rank the ideas I came up with, in order of how much I’d like to turn them into a list.

1. The 10 Best Instances In Which One Could Use the Phrase “I’m In Tech”
2. 10 Most Crazpyants Outfits Worn By Debra Messing as Julia Houston
3. Top 10 Ridiculous Musical Numbers That Happened in Public Places Without Onlookers’ Consent
4. Top 10 Reasons Why Bernadette Peters Should Appear in Every Episode
5. Top 10 Television Parents I’d Like To See Yell at Leo (Emory Cohen)
6. The 10 Best Scarves That Were Artfully Draped Around Someone’s Neck Other Than Debra Messing’s
7. The 10 Most Satisfying Ways in Which Ellis (Jaime Cepero) Might Get His Comeuppance
8. Top 10 Comments Comedian Retta Has Made as She Live-Tweets the Show Each Week
9. Top 10 Drinks I’d Like To See Anjelica Huston Throw In Someone’s Face Next Season
10. Top 10 Comments Marilyn Monroe Might Make if She Watched An Episode of Smash