Pulling Rank: Team James Spader

Kelly Stitzel May 7, 2012 2

Pulling Rank is a weekly column in which Kelly Stitzel ranks a variety of pop culture-related things with little to no commentary, but sometimes with audio or visual accompaniment. There’s no scientific method to the rankings — these are just Kelly’s opinions. You’ll probably disagree with her — just don’t be a dick about it.

In a recent Reddit AMA, Molly Ringwald was asked, “Are you team Duckie or team Blaine?” to which she replied, “I am Team James Spader.” This is a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with and it has inspired me to rank my 10 favorite James Spader film characters, in order of crushworthiness.

1. Steff, Pretty In Pink (1986)

2. Graham Dalton, sex, lies, and videotape (1989)

3. E. Edward Grey, Secretary (2002)

4. Max Baron, White Palace (1990)

5. Dr. Daniel Jackson, Stargate (1994)

6. James Ballard, Crash (1996)

7. Campbell, The Watcher (2000)

8. Ray Reardon, Dream Lover (1993)

9. Lee Woods, 2 Days in the Valley (1996)

10. Mr. Richards, Mannequin (1987)

  • Youdontsay

    I like most of your choices, but here is my list:

    1. Dr. Daniel Jackson (Stargate)

    2. E. Edward Grey (Secretary)

    3. Graham Dalton (sex, lies, and videotape)

    4. John Parker (The Stickup)

    5. Max Baron (White Palace)

    6. Steff (Pretty in Pink)

    7. James Ballard (Crash)

    8. Tim Gerrity (True Colors)

    9. Cray Fowler (Storyville)

    10. Joel Campbell (The Watcher)

    [My #1 spot actually would go to Alan Shore (The Practice), but that is a TV character]

  • jack

    I would definitely add Dutra in The New Kids. He does some repulsive things in that movie!