Pulling Rank is a weekly column in which Kelly Stitzel ranks a variety of pop culture-related things with little to no commentary, but sometimes with audio or visual accompaniment. There’s no scientific method to the rankings — these are just Kelly’s opinions. You’ll probably disagree with her — just don’t be a dick about it.
In a recent Reddit AMA, Molly Ringwald was asked, “Are you team Duckie or team Blaine?” to which she replied, “I am Team James Spader.” This is a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with and it has inspired me to rank my 10 favorite James Spader film characters, in order of crushworthiness.
1. Steff, Pretty In Pink (1986)
2. Graham Dalton, sex, lies, and videotape (1989)
3. E. Edward Grey, Secretary (2002)
4. Max Baron, White Palace (1990)
5. Dr. Daniel Jackson, Stargate (1994)
6. James Ballard, Crash (1996)
7. Campbell, The Watcher (2000)
8. Ray Reardon, Dream Lover (1993)
9. Lee Woods, 2 Days in the Valley (1996)
10. Mr. Richards, Mannequin (1987)