All rise.

The rules of this courtroom are simple. You will be presented with two songs, one by the plaintiff and one by the defendant. It is your task to decide if the defendant’s track is only coincidentally similar to the plaintiffs or, as members of the Bar Association put it, they’ve been a baa-aaad boy. You have been duly instructed.

Today’s docket: The Romantics, plaintiffs vs. John Mellencamp, defendant

The Romantics – What I Like About You from The Romantics (1980)

It’s the same beat, the same chords, the same everything. You’d have to be deaf to disagree.

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John Mellencamp – R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A. from Scarecrow (1985)

“The subtitle is “A Salute To ’60s Rock” – At least I had the balls to admit it was a homage.”

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Wait! Neil Diamond has just burst through the courtroom door, knocking over the bailiffs!

Neil Diamond – Cherry, Cherry from The Feel Of Neil Diamond (1966)

“It may only be three chord pop, but they were my three chords first, bitches!”

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