Scraps

Scraps is the heir to the Commemorative Plate fortune.

He is anarthropod, but is related to the whelk by marriage.

Vociferously opposed to Islam, Scraps fasts the entire year except Ramadan.

He learned to count on his toes because he could never figure out how you count the finger you’re counting with.

Scraps invented badminton, and turns red if you don’t pronounce the first “n.”

Scraps is volatile and should not be mixed with ammonia.

He flies in the face of reason unless given explicit directions or soft pillows.

Scraps gives no quarter without purchase, and is not divisible by any whole number.

Scraps is the only Scraps you know.

Scraps loses its meaning with repetition.

Scraps Scraps Scraps Scrappy Scraps.

Meaning may sometimes be recovered with a vigorous application of moist towelettes.

Scraps needs elephants.

Scraps was fired from Disneyland when they found out he was covered with Hidden
Daffies.

“Scraps” is an anagram of “Power Monkey.”

We all take Scraps for granted.

Scraps will outlive us all.