Song for the Soundtrack of Your Date (No Date) Tonight

James Brown’s nemesis, Joe Tex, faces off with The Voice’s weirdo superstar, Cee-Lo, AKA Gnarls Barkley. To Date or Not to Date? That is the question.

Song for the Soundtrack of Your Date Tonight

Your date’s always got a groove. A thigh slapping, head bobbing beat. You’re hitting on all notes. Look around. This groovy kind of love can’t be genetically modified. It uses no fillers and no artificial flavors. It’s nine whole grains of goodness, friends. All this fibrous fabric of common interests, chemical compatibility and karmic love clout (with a c) is good for your heart. There’s no algorithm to optimize your date. If, by chance, you’ve found the “one,” you’re definitely still having fun. This ain’t no ordinary love. It’s richer. Take that to the bank, Diddy Warbucks.

REMIX/MASH-UP ALERT: For a delightfully disco version of this song, check out Andy Gibb’s “Show Me”  And the red spandex pants + shirtless mash-up remix. Oh yeah.

[Joe Tex, “Show Me” single, 1966]

Song for the Soundtrack of Your No Date Tonight

That lusty kinda thing you have for someone that’s not right and it’s not in your control. You can’t have ‘em and you don’t want ‘em. It’s like a cat with a mouse. Gotta bat it around for a while. Mouth it. Watch it run. Catch up. Play. Watch it go again. You seek the game. A game of moans. A vast and free territory devoid of emotions and feelings. Choose your homeland wisely. The temperatures can get downright chilly in the land of the loveless. On the other hand, maybe you like the cold? Brr, baby, brr.

[Gnarls Barkley, “Gone Daddy Gone” St. Elsewhere, 2006]