Ladies and gentlemen…LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!
Next week we’ll be unveiling a new feature here at Popdose: the Song-Off. Two songs about similar topic will be pitted against each other in a no-holds-barred grudge match. And much like the tried and true system of American democracy, Popdose voters will have the opportunity to elect their favorite based on not only the merits of the songs themselves, but also based on distortions, factually inaccurate claims, character smears, whisper campaigns, and ad hominem attacks advanced by the pair of Popdose writers who were brave enough to step into the ring and advocate for their chosen song. It’ll be just like Thunderdome, except instead of one slobbering imbecile (I’m speaking of Mel Gibson, of course), there will be two, chasing each other around in increasingly irrelevant circles with rhetorical chainsaws.
We’ll be taking on song topics like “Aeroplanes,” and “Pastel-Colored Moons,” and “Incestuous Father-Daughter Relationships and the Second Amendment.” In the future, we’ll even hold a few tournaments, such as the eagerly anticipated Monkey Madness tournament to see who can climb to the top of the “Monkey-Related-Violence” bracket, and whether they can sling enough feces to subdue the silverback who emerges triumphantly from the bracket of “Miscellaneous Primates.”
Join us next week as Jeff Giles and Jon Cummings match their so-called “wits” in our first contest. Despite the fact that neither of them has ever been on a carnival ride or kissed a girl without getting Maced, they’ll be debating a pair of songs that feature that time-honored makeout tradition, the Tunnel of Love. Stay tuned!