All posts tagged: 10 movies about

rush

10 Movies For American Audiences About Sports That Aren’t Popular in America (Like ‘Rush’)

I’m sure that the story of famed Formula One car-racing man Rushmore “Rush” Rushingford is an interesting human drama packed with thrilling twists and turns, otherwise an A-list director couldn’t get a movie like Rush made. But still, it’s the sign of some Hollywood hubris to make a big-budget, widely-released movie for American audiences about a sport that most Americans aren’t familiar with, let alone follow or enjoy. Here are 10 other A-level movies about B-level sports. Side Out C. Thomas. C. Thomas Howell. C. Thomas Howell plays beach volleyball, which tends to do well on American TV only when its being played in the Olympics by ladies in sports bras, and not for pretend by C. Thomas Howell. Kicking and Screaming Will Ferrell took a break of playing wacky characters to play a regular guy caught up in the no-stakes and dreary world of soccer. Invictus Most Americans probably don’t know how important of a moment the 1995 Rugby World Cup was in the history of South Africa or the life of Nelson Madela, …

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10 Movies…About The Witness Relocation Program (Like ‘The Family’)

This week marks the release of The Family, another example of Hollywood’s favorite cliché situation: stereotypical Italian-American crime family goes into Witness Protection and they chafe at it. (In reality, Witness Protection is rare; as it turns out the government doesn’t give a shit if you’re a bad guy and other bad guys kill you.) But at least The Family is directed by French film god Luc Besson, who is apparently trying his hand at farce, which the French love as much as Americans love stuff about Witness Protection. Here are 10 more movies about Witness Protection, all of which feel like French movies that were translated into English. The Pacifier Vin Diesel has to find the secret documents and hide out in the suburbs and protect some kids which OMG he’s a MAN! Did You Hear About the Morgans? If you did, in fact, hear about the Morgans, then their Witness Protection detail isn’t doing a very good job of keeping there whereabouts hidden. Man of the House Tommy Lee Jones has to keep …

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10 Movies…With Endearing Strippers (Like ‘Afternoon Delight’)

I’ve never been to a strip club, not just because they’re degrading to women, but because they’re degrading to everybody. A red-lit room with “college students” sadly gyrating to a Warrant song doesn’t sound great. And Hollywood has spoiled me on strippers—I am to presume they all are plucky, have hearts of gold, and/or enjoy taking their clothes off for weirdos with too many small bills. Like Juno Temple in this week’s Afternoon Delight, here are 10 other movies with happy-go-lucky softcore sex workers. Flashdance Sort of like how your grandpa uses old-timey words (like “breeches” instead of “pants”), back in the old-timey days of the 1980s, they called “stripping “flashdancing,” and it was a good way to supplement your income as a steel worker and/or dance student. Closer Nothing gets me hotter than when a stripper discusses gender identity and psychosexual politics during a lapdance. #notouching(becauseweareallofusemotionallyimmature) The Full Monty It’s charming, because the guys are nobody you would want to see naked, and they do it to earn money because they lost all their …

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10 Movies That Took Forever to Get Released (Like ‘You’re Next’)

For most major movies, it takes about a year from the time filming begins to opening in theaters as a means to get you to buy corn. But for a variety of reasons, studios will often sit on a movie for years at a time, suddenly skittish about earning back their investment on films they had no problem funding and producing. This week, the horror movie You’re Next opens…more than two years after making the rounds on the festival circuit. Here are 10 other movies that people had to wait forever to see. Blue Sky This movie was barely released in 1994 and won Jessica Lange an Oscar for portraying the mentally ill wife of a military guy. Had this film been released in 1991, when it was completed, Lange may have lost that Oscar to Jodie Foster for The Silence of the Lambs. Blue Sky sat in a vault for three years until the bankruptcy of its studio, Orion Pictures, could be settled. The Fantasticks The Fantasticks is one of the best, most gentle, …

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10 Movies…About Awesome Businesspeople

This week marks the release of Jobs, which stars Ashton Kutcher, the inventor of prankism, as Steve Jobs, the inventor of the computer and the MP3 who ultimately became the wealthiest man in the history of the world. Here are 10 other movies about brave Americans who made money and fought back against a society that wants to see them fail and to punish them for being enterprising. Superman An allegorical film about how immigrants (Superman) are hell-bent on destroying everything hard-working American businessmen (Lex Luthor) have built up. It’s a Wonderful Life Mr. Potter did live a wonderful life—nobody ever said you were going to make friends in the banking industry. But you know what he did make? Money. Mildred Pierce Mildred should not have let her wayward children and loathsome husbands get in the way of what really mattered: building a chicken-and-waffles empire. Thank You For Smoking This movie makes me want a cigarette, which I know is bad for me, which shows you the inspiring power of public relations. It also makes …

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10 Movies…That Are Spinoffs, Not Sequels, Of Popular Movies (Like Disney’s ‘Planes’)

Spinoffs are the new reboot. Big studio movies are usually part of a franchise at this point, and they are going to become even more assembly lines, what with new, constant Star Wars and Marvel movies every year or so. A spinoff is not a sequel to a movie, merely set in the same universe, and maybe or maybe not a character, major or minor, from the original movie off doing their own thing. It usually works about as well as TV spinoffs work out, which is to say, not very well. Here are 10 movie spinoffs. Get Him to the Greek (from Forgetting Sarah Marshall) In the original, Jason Segel’s character was left by Kristen Bell’s character for a sleazy British rock star, played by Russell Brand in his introduction to America. The spinoff, Get Him to the Greek, marked the beginning of the selling of the Brand brand in earnest. It fleshed out the supporting character nicely, and has some wickedly funny moments. The Scorpion King (from The Mummy) The Rock had slightly …

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10 Movies…That Co-Starred a Former Adult Film Star (Like ‘The Canyons’)

So the troubled B-movie-homage-that’s-also-a-B-movie The Canyons is finally coming out this week, starring Lindsay Lohan and James Deen. I think at some point we all thought that porn would lure in legitimate actor Lindsay Lohan, but instead, Lohan lured porn actor James Deen into legitimate movies. It is very unlikely, but not impossible, for Deen to cross over to mainstream film success; many have attempted, and a few have succeeded, although ever became what one would call a movie star. And often they get pigeonholed (pun intended) into roles that require nudity or simulated intercourse. But hey, the pay is good, you get a SAG card, and no penetration! Here are 10 movies that included among their casts a former adult film professional. Zack and Miri Make a Porno Porn star Katie Morgan plays a girl who helps Zack and Miri…make a porno. She’s actually pretty funny as a character with which she is intimately familiar. Cry-Baby Notorious adult film star Traci Lords wasn’t actually an adult when she made her adult films, but camp …

10 Movies…That Had Better Titles In Pre-Production (Like ‘The To Do List’ Had)

A lot can happen from the time a script is turned in to a studio to the time the film actually goes into production. Actors are cast and then recast, shooting locations may change, the script gets rewritten a bunch of times, and even the name of the damn movie might end up getting tweaked. Such is the case with this week’s The To Do List, which, subtly and playfully gets across the point that the movie is about a girl racking up sexual experiences before she leaves for college…but it’s not nearly as raunchy, or absolutely unmarketable, as the original title, The Hand Job. Here are ten other movies that chickened out and went bland and familiar instead of evocative and bonkers. Last Action Hero This ultra-meta parody of extremely violent action movies was supposed to be called…Extremely Violent. Scream This ultra-meta parody of scary movies was supposed to be called…Scary Movie. (That title was then, ironically, used for a series of horror movie parody films.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Yeah, The Texas Chainsaw …

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10 Movies…That Are, Surprisingly, Based on True Stories (Like ‘The Conjuring’)

This week the “found footage”-style horror movie fades briefly and unexpectedly into oblivion like a spooky ghost girl in favor of The Conjuring, a horror movie with a traditional narrative form. Those found footage movies work so well because they introduce an extra, meta level of fear – this shit isn’t a movie…it’s real! And it looks real, because it looks like home video footage. The Conjuring, while a regular narrative-style film with a high budget and known actors like Vera Farmiga and Lili Taylor, also boasts that real-life fear factor, as it is based on the accounts of the Peron family, who hired paranormal investigators to check out their supposedly haunted Rhode Island farmhouse. Believe of that what you will. But here are 10 other movies that, believe it or not, are also based on true stories…extensive artistic license notwithstanding. Up Close and Personal Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne, of all people, wrote the screenplay, using as their source the book Golden Girl, the sad and salacious biography of NBC News anchor Jessica …

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10 Movies…With a Replacement Actor in the Sequel (Like ‘Grown Ups 2’)

The big news surrounding Grown Ups 2, other than the fact that it’s yet another cynically-conceived way for Adam Sandler to hang out with his friends at a waterpark for two months, is that Sandler crony Rob Schneider is not returning from the first film. Replacing Schneider, who reportedly wanted more money, is Sandler crony Nick Swardson, who gets a bigger role than he usually does. Here are ten other movie sequels that Darrin Stevensed us and replaced an actor with another actor and hoped we wouldn’t notice. Iron Man 2 Evidently Terrence Howard was the first major actor to sign on for the first Iron Man, before it was a known entity as a franchise, and as such was the highest paid actor. In negotiating for the sequel, his pay was cut, Howard’s agents said no, and Don Cheadle was cast as Rhodey. The Dark Knight With her long courtship, marriage, and be-childing with couch-jumping Tom Cruise generating a certain amount of unwelcome tabloid attention happening in between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, …

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10 Movies…That Are Reboots Of Really Old Pop Culture (Just Like the New ‘Lone Ranger’ Movie)

A new big-screen version of The Lone Ranger comes out this weekend, starring Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow as Tonto. It looks less like a faithful adaptation of the Western saga that thrilled your great-great-grandfather as a little boy in front of the magic sound box, and more a vehicle for Johnny Depp to act goofy and the delight the fuck out of everybody once again. That’s because rebooting The Lone Ranger, which premiered on radio in 1933 and TV in 1949, is a hard sell. Yeah, Hollywood is reboot crazy these days, but they tend to go after known entities from the last 20 years or so (Man of Steel is a rare exception, but that’s SUPERMAN, you guys). Here are 10 other movies that paved the way for Disney’s cautious attempt at a modern, big-screen update of a popular franchise that began in radio, comics, film serials, or pulp novels in the early 20th century. The Legend of the Lone Ranger Clayton Moore was deeply associated with the role of John Reid/the Lone …

Monsters University

10 Movies…That Are Unnecessary Prequels (To Prepare You For ‘Monsters University’)

Once Disney took a more draconian handle on Pixar, it was inevitable that they’d make the tiny, massively-gifted studio start churning out sequels and prequels to their most marketable hits. A couple years ago, they made Cars 2, which focused on Mater, the character that sold the most toys, and later this year we’ve got an offshoot called Planes. But first, Monsters University, in which we get to see the monsters from Monsters Inc. learning the job skills they’ll need to one day land a job at Monsters Inc. Here are 10 other unnecessary prequels. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd You want to know how Harry and Lloyd met? They met in high school. Where the hell else were they going to meet? Oz The Great and Powerful All about how Professor Marvel made his way to Oz and how everything went to shit before Dorothy showed up. However, the entire premise of this movie doesn’t make any sense, because Oz was dreamed up by a little girl in a dream and didn’t …

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10 Movies…That Are Adaptations of Young Adult Novels (To Prepare You For ‘Tiger Eyes’)

Despite being the Frank Lloyd Wright of young adult fiction (in that she’s the towering, influential force, and the first name that comes to mind for her respective discipline), there has never been a big-screen adaptation of a Judy Blume book until now. Tiger Eyes, a bit darker and more brutally adolescent-centered than stuff like Superfudge and Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret, opens this week. Here’s a look at 10 other movie versions of classic YA novels. Prepare for the weepiest, angsty “10 Movies” column ever! The Outsiders Do it for Johnny! While the book and movie both took place in “the present day,” the whole endeavor always seemed kind of dated—it felt like the ’50s, what with all the talk of Socs, Greasers, girls named Cherry Valance, and cars, cars, cars. Then again, I can’t think of a better movie that explains the intractable bond between close male friends, written with such knowledge by teenage author S.E. Hinton. (It’s also nice to see C. Thomas Howell not in blackface.) The Sisterhood of …

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10 Movies…About Really Fast Cars (To Prepare You for ‘Fast & Furious 6’)

Programming note: this week’s “10 Movies” column was written/dictated by a discerning expert who knows and appreciates race-car cinema far more than I: my four-year-old nephew, Jaden. Driven They’re at a big party and then the race car goes by through the city! And then the man gets in the other race car and chases the first racer and they go really fast and then there’s all this stuff blowing away! Stroker Ace He has a mustache and he’s really nice and he races on the racetrack and smashes the car. VROOOOOOOM! The Cannonball Run I liked this movie because Stroker Ace is in it, but he’s not on the race track he’s on the highway and he drives fast like my dad! GRRRRR! VROOOOOOOM! ZOOOOOOM! Talladega Nights Mommy says I’m not allowed to watch this but I don’t know why. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift It’s like regular Faster Furious, but the cars so sideways and go screeeeeeech and they’re in the street and I like Pokemons, too but cars mostly. Herbie …

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10 Movies…That Are Insane Adaptations of Famous Books (To Prepare You For the New ‘Great Gatsby’)

I haven’t seen The Great Gatsby yet, but I can tell already that it just doesn’t add up. The production seems to have missed the point—it’s not about the glitz and glamor and pop songs—it’s about the death of dreams and the danger of being a complete and total sellout, ironically enough. Here are 10 other literary adaptations that were kind of out of control. His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass (2007) When you adapt a children’s fantasy novel about goin’ off to kill God, you kind of have to tone that down for the multiplex audiences, and put a lot of polar bears on the promo materials. The Great Gatsby (1974) It’s happened before! Gatsby (Robert Redford) is a leering douchebag who is still in love with Daisy, and we can’t understand why, because Mia Farrow plays her as a hysteric gasbag. And while Luhrmann’s adaptation seems to favor color and sparkles, this movie is just a sea of white and a celebration of nostalgia—ironic for a book known for its color symbolism and …

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10 Movies…That Were Comeback Vehicles (To Prepare You for ‘Iron Man 3’ with Robert Downey, Jr.)

Downey headlines this week’s Iron Man 3, his fourth outing as the billionaire Robocop. He’s one of the biggest stars in the world and one of our most universally liked celebrities — which is what he seemed like he was destined to become circa Chaplin in 1992, but not so much after nearly killing himself with heroin and wandering into strangers’ homes in 1996, or — even worse — that stint on Ally McBeal. Downey started his remarkable comeback with 2005’s Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; in honor of his latest appearance as Ol’ Shellhead, here some other stars who came back from the brink of obscurity and irrelevance. Ulee’s Gold (1997), with Peter Fonda A Boomer icon from writing and starring in Easy Rider, Fonda descended into schlock and ugh in ‘70s B-movies…before coming back in Ulee’s Gold, a movie about bees, but also really horrible family problems. Fonda earned a Best Actor nomination at the Oscars. Little Children (2006), with Jackie Earle Haley As a teenager in the ‘70s, Haley played badass Kelly Leak in …

10 Movies…That Are Narrative Remakes of Documentaries

Kon-Tiki hits American theaters this week, months after it was nominated for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. It’s a narrative retelling of Kon-Tiki, the 1951 Academy-Award winning documentary directed by Thor Heyerdahl about his voyage across the South Seas in a raft of his own creation. Here are some other compelling real-life stories caught on film…that were then scripted and remade. Rescue Dawn (2006) In 1997, Werner Herzog made Little Dieter Needs to Fly for German television, a documentary about a German-born American pilot named Dieter Dengler who was shot down and captured in the Vietnamese War but later successfully escaped. About a decade later, Herzog wrote and directed Rescue Dawn, based on the events of Dieter. Party Monster (2003) Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato produced and directed Party Monster: The Shockumentary in 1998, based on Disco Bloodbath by NYC club kid James St. James, which focuses on the life and murders of fellow club kid and horrifying sociopath Michael Alig. The duo remade it as a narrative film in 2003, with Seth Green and …

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10 Movies…Directed By Rock and Pop Stars (To Prepare You for Rob Zombie’s ‘The Lords of Salem’)

Lots of musicians decide they are famous and attractive enough to act, but it takes a special kind of hubris to take a break from making music to direct a movie. Sometimes it works out, as with the fruitful horror filmmaking career of Rob Zombie, whose The Lords of Salem comes out this week. Here are some others who gave it a shot. The Education of Charlie Banks The guy who got an Oscar nomination for The Social Network was once directed by Fred Durst, the guy who wrote the line “gimme somethin’ to break / how ‘bout your fuckin’ face.” But he does know what it’s like to be a violent thug, so there’s that. Yentl Streisand has one of the greatest voices ever, and she’s a good actress, too. And then there’s this literal vanity project, in which the 41-year-old Streisand directs her own performance as a teenager, who disguises herself as a boy to attend a yeshiva. Falling From Grace Ol’ John Cougar made himself up a movie-film real good like, with …

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10 Movies…That Are Fifth-Quels (To Prepare You For Another Fifth Movie in a Franchise, ‘Scary Movie 5’

Most movie series don’t make it to five films. Either the filmmakers run out of ideas, or the studio reboots the characters. The latest “fifth-quel” is Scary Movie 5, which, since it’s in a franchise that just parodies whatever horror movies and cultural moments came along since the last one came out, doesn’t have to concern itself with such matters. Here are some movies that kept the gravy train going—formula and tired plotlines be damned! Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994) The Death Wish series reflected and defined the ‘70s as a grimy, violent, seedy place, where there were brutally violent bad guys just asking to get shot by the stone-faced, equally brutally violent good guys — and it actually lasted into the ‘90s. Once more, Paul Kersey is a magnet for thugs as a woman he loves gets brutalized and he has to write some wrongs and vigilante the shit out of some shit. Starring a 73-year-old Charles Bronson. The Dead Pool (1988) The iconic Dirty Harry film series reflected and defined the …

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10 Movies…That Are Remakes of Classic Horror Films

Horror movies derive most of their power and enjoyment (you sicko) from a combination of novelty and surprise.The novelty: how the filmmakers will have this particular bad guy stalk and kill the good guys. The surprise: OHMYGODLOOKOUTBEHINDYOUDREWBARRYMORE! Nevertheless, because horror movies are eternally popular, Hollywood remakes the biggest ones, as they would any genre of film. However, horror movies also boast extremely devoted and defensive cult bases, so time will tell if this weekend’s Evil Dead reboot is as good as Sam Raimi’s original 1981 classic, despite Sam Raimi’s seal of approval and active involvement. Here then are 10 more notable horror remakes. Friday the 13th (2009) There was once a rumor that they were going to eventually make 13 Friday the 13th movies. But after sending camp drowning victim/supernatural hockey mask-wearing murderer Jason Vorhees to space, hell, and Freddy Krueger, the franchise ran out of steam at 11 movies. So in 2009 they rebooted the franchise by remaking the original 1980 film, set at the proven horror setting of a summer camp full of …

10 Movies Starring…People Who Are Famous For Being Famous (To Prepare You For ‘Tyler Perry’s Temptation,’ With Kim Kardashian)

Eventually the tabloid fixtures, the celebutantes, the people that are famous for being famous, heck, even the D-list “legitimate” celebrities yearn for real fame, which is to say launder their fame with a role or two in what will likely be very bad movies. Tyler Perry’s Tyler Perry’s Temptation opens this week, by the way, and the cast includes Kim Kardashian. Never trust a big butt and a smile, or most of these films and their hollow celebrity co-stars. Butterfly (1982) Pia Zadora was a child actress on Broadway and in the weirdest movie of all time Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in 1964. Her career stalled until she met a shady businessman three times her age named Meshulam Riklis and married him in 1972. He financed the 1982 film Butterfly, which, apropos of nothing, is a romantic movie about daddy-daughter incest. Riklis may or may not have paid off the ever-sketchy Golden Globes voters who named Zadora Best New Star for Butterfly, which was both box office and critical poison. Riklis definitely funded a …

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10 Movies About…Cavemen (To Prepare You for ‘The Croods’)

Dreamworks’ CGI caveman spectacular The Croods comes out on Friday. It’s the first big animated movie of the year, but it’s hardly the first time a bunch of modern(ized) stone-age characters have hit the big screen. Here are 10 more of the best caveman movies in (pre)history. Caveman (1981) Ringo Starr in the role he was born to play: that of a monosyllabic caveman. Co-written and directed by Carl Gottlieb (he wrote The Jerk and played Iron Balls McGinty), it’s a pretty funny story of a misfit caveman who must defeat a relatively powerful caveman to get the girl. The cavegirl is played by Barbara Bach, who Ringo landed in real life, too. The History of the World Part I (1981) Only the first segment “The Dawn of Men” from Mel Brooks’ exhaustive documentation of civilization applies, but we do get to learn much, such as that cavemen had gay marriage, art critics who hated cave paintings, and that music consisted of dropping rocks on feet and enjoying the screams. One Million Years B.C. (1966) …