Posts Tagged ‘Air Supply’

  
Friday, October 9th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 10/11/80

by Jason Hare

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Hi everyone! It’s Friday and it’s time to look back at another Billboard Top 10 from — holy crap, this is from 29 years ago. Anybody else feel really old? Thankfully, I think this is a pretty good week for the charts: good variety, strong songs all around, and some really fantastic videos. Join me, won’t you, as we take a stab at October 11, 1980!

10. Give Me the Night — George Benson null
9. Real Love — The Doobie Brothers null
8. Xanadu — Olivia Newton-John/Electric Light Orchestra null
7. I’m Alright — Kenny Loggins null
6. Late in the Evening — Paul Simon null
5. Drivin’ My Life Away — Eddie Rabbitt null
4. All Out of Love — Air Supply null
3. Upside Down — Diana Ross null
2. Woman in Love — Barbra Streisand null
1. Another One Bites the Dust — Queen null

10. Give Me the Night — George Benson (download)

George Benson on roller skates, y’all. Does it get any better?

If you feel like this song’s groove sounds vaguely familiar, it’s probably because it was written by Rod Temperton, former keyboardist for Heatwave, and the man behind much of Off the Wall (and, later, Thriller). Every time I hear a Rod Temperton jam, I’m once again astounded that sounds like this came from a white guy. “Give Me the Night” peaked at #4, making it Benson’s most successful hit, with the awesome, awesome “Turn Your Love Around” right behind it, peaking at #5 in 1981. I’m disappointed that “Lady Love Me (One More Time) only made it to #30. I don’t have much more to say about this song — I’m too busy groovin’.

9. Real Love — The Doobie Brothers

If you buy the Michael McDonald: The Ultimate Collection CD (and you should!) and you import it into iTunes, there’s a good chance that the song titles for the Doobie Brothers tracks will come up like this: “Real Love (ft. The Doobie Brothers).” Now, on one hand, that’s incorrect: these tracks, and others like it, were released under “The Doobie Brothers,” and changing it is akin to changing “Lennon/McCartney” to “McCartney/Lennon.” (Okay, it’s nothing like that, but I just wanted to compare the Doobies to the Beatles for a second.) But in all honesty, these are Michael McDonald tracks featuring the Doobie Brothers. Other than keeping the album as a consistent “Michael McDonald” album, I’m not sure what the reason was for this alteration, other than McD just trying to find one more way to piss off Jeff “Skunk” Baxter. And if that’s the case — bravo, McD! I thought you ran out of ways to irritate Skunk a long time ago. Of course, Baxter was out of the band by the time both this song — and its accompanying album, One Step Closer — were released, and the band was nearing dissolution anyway due to the increased friction that came from essentially being McD’s backing band. Still, “Real Love” is a great song from this era of the Doobies. It’s no “What a Fool Believes” or “Minute By Minute,” but it’s got plenty of soul and a typically great vocal by McD.

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Friday, August 28th, 2009

CHART ATTACK!: 8/28/82

by Jason Hare

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Howdy, everybody! Hope you’re all enjoying the last of your summer days, while I sit indoors and listen to ten artists who are likely never be found on the Top 10 — hell, probably the Top 40 — ever again. Let’s take a look back at the week ending August 28, 1982!

10. Take It Away — Paul McCartney Amazon iTunes
9. Wasted On the Way — Crosby, Stills & Nash Amazon iTunes
8. Vacation — Go-Go’s Amazon iTunes
7. Keep the Fire Burnin’ — REO Speedwagon Amazon iTunes
6. Even the Nights Are Better — Air Supply Amazon iTunes
5. Hard to Say I’m Sorry — Chicago Amazon iTunes
4. Hold Me — Fleetwood Mac Amazon iTunes
3. Abracadabra — Steve Miller Band Amazon iTunes
2. Hurts So Good — John Cougar Amazon iTunes
1. Eye of the Tiger — Survivor Amazon iTunes

10. Take It Away — Paul McCartney

I consider myself relatively well-versed in Paul McCartney’s post-Beatles career (though I do not know a single song from Press to Play), and yet I think I need someone who knows his stuff a little better to explain what the difference is between this song — a Macca solo song from Tug of War — and a Wings song. Production-wise, this doesn’t sound much different from “Listen to What the Man Said.” But what do I know. “Take It Away” features Ringo on drums, who also appears in the video with Tug of War producer George Martin on piano. I didn’t like this song the first time I heard it, but like so many of his songs, I just can’t get it out of my head now.

9. Wasted On the Way — Crosby, Stills & Nash

In 1982, Crosby, Stills & Nash peaked here at #9 (their second highest charting single behind 1977’s “Just a Song Before I Go”), and also had a #18 hit with “Southern Cross.” Do you think they were thinking, “Hello, ’80s!”? Because that certainly didn’t happen. Not that it matters, but “Wasted On the Way” was their final Top 40 appearance.

Interesting story behind Daylight Again, the album containing the single: it was intended to be a Stills & Nash project, mainly due to Crosby’s never-ending drug problems. They went straight to the B-list for possible replacements, including Art Garfunkel and the Cryptkeeper Timothy B. Schmit, but the folks at Atlantic Records pretty much told ‘em they had to get Crosby or the album wasn’t happening. Crosby and Nash tried to hold their ground, even paying for the recording sessions out-of-pocket, but eventually relented and asked Crosby to join the project. Personally, my imagery goes straight to Crosby in a Hawaiian shirt, being dragged on his back by his ponytail into the studio while eating a slice of pizza, never quite realizing what’s happening, and the scary thing is that it might not be far from the truth.

For all that I love harmony and acoustic music, I’ve never been much of a CSN fan. One of the guitarists in my band is always asking me why I don’t care for CSN, so I was excited to tell him that I actually like this one. You know what he said? “Oh, that one’s so wimpy.” I said, “…As opposed to what?” Either way, I do think this is a nice song. I think the instrumentation on the studio version is pretty much unnecessary; I like this live version from 1982 instead. You really do get the sense that Crosby has no idea where the hell he is. Check out the part where he makes the “shhh” motion, either to an already-quiet audience or the goblins doing a rain dance in his head. It doesn’t matter, though; they sound fantastic.

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Friday, May 15th, 2009

Bootleg City: Spoon, 11/8/07

by Robert Cass

Remember last week when I was duped into thinking I’d been sent that Air Supply bootleg by a guy named “R. Murdoch”? It never crossed my mind that “R.” might be short for Rupert, as in Rupert freakin’ Murdoch, the megazillionaire media mogul from down under who owns the New York Post, the Wall Street Journal, 20th Century Fox, Fox News, the Fox network, and three-quarters of the world’s fox population, be they animal or female.

Rich guys like Mr. Murdoch don’t miss a beat: last weekend, as he was waiting for his credit-card purchase of Transformers star Megan Fox to go through on the ol’ laptop, he decided to google his name for fun, when up popped the insinuation that he’s a fan of Australian soft rockers Air Supply. “I’d rather have me wedding tackle chopped off than listen to those two drongos!” he said in an e-mail I received on Saturday afternoon.

Turns out he’s an Olivia Newton-John fan, but unfortunately I don’t have any bootlegs by the star of Two of a Kind. (I know, I know, nobody remembers the Travolta-and-ONJ movie that isn’t Grease, but Two of a Kind is a 20th Century Fox product, so I’m being forced to mention it.) However, Mr. Murdoch did threaten to cut out my heart with a dull spoon, which made me remember that I have a terrific bootleg by one of the best bands working today. That would be Spoon, performing in Tallahassee, Florida, at a club called the Moon. In June? Sadly, no — this particular concert took place on November 8, 2007. But it’s well worth a listen.

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Friday, May 8th, 2009

Bootleg City: Air Supply in Cleveland, October ‘82

by Robert Cass

A reader named R. Murdoch* sent me the following bootleg by “my best mates,” Graham Russell and Russell Hitchcock, the Australian duo otherwise known as Air Supply, performing in Cleveland, Ohio, on October 22, 1982. I can’t verify that Mr. Murdoch really is friends with “Graham Russell Terrier,” as he collectively calls them, but I do hope for his sake that he’s not just some random fan hoping to make a name for himself by claiming he knows rich, famous people. That would be tacky.

I Can’t Get Excited
Lost in Love
Every Woman in the World
Even the Nights Are Better
Now and Forever
One Step Closer
Late Again
[Graham mistakenly addresses the audience as "Cincinnati" and asks where he can score some H after the show.]
Young Love
Here I Am (Just When I Thought I Was Over You)
Sweet Dreams
All Out of Love
She Never Heard Me Call
[Graham goes bananas, hurling a bottle of Jack at a single mother in the third row after she requests "Who Can It Be Now?"]
I’ve Got Your Love
The One That You Love
[Russell insults the band for blowing "the easiest bloody cue in the entire bloody show" and storms off the stage.]
This Heart Belongs to Me

* Turns out it was Popdose’s old pal Joe Mallon, from whose voluminous archives many of our bootlegs have sprung. Thanks, Joe — for the bootleg and the deceit!

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Monday, March 30th, 2009

Death by Power Ballad: REO Speedwagon, “I Needed to Fall”

by Rob Smith

One of my favorite things about joining the Popdose brother/sisterhood is the fact that I have found a group of people whose taste in music is as broad and, on occasion, wussified as my own. For example, my illustrious editor, Jason Hare, has seen Air Supply live (recently!), and no one busts his balls for it, at least not in any serious, make-Jason-cry kinda way. Those who bow at the altar of the Two-Headed Russell know they’ve found a kindred spirit in Jason, possibly even a virtual gang of them. There is a safe haven for us all under the banner of the ‘Dose. Say hallelujah, say amen.

And then there’s REO fucking Speedwagon. I’ve proudly flown the flag for Kevin Cronin (or K-Crone, in street parlance) and the boys ever since I bought Hi Infidelity at the Record Town in Woodbridge Mall back in ‘81. However, reactions from the Popdose staff are mixed for the man who said he would love us for-eh-vurr. And while I’m not the kind of fan who would engage in a physical altercation to defend K-Crone’s honor (Jefito could probably kick my ass, and he’s about as fierce as a nine-year-old), I am the kind who will spend time at a bar or a record store or on a Web site to make the case for the man and his music.

Last year, in fact, REO delivered its first new studio album since the Clinton administration, a better-than-expected, Wal-Mart-approved record called Find Your Own Way Home. It’s a dignified collection of tunes from a band working in an industry that’s anything but dignified, particularly for a bunch of guys pushing 60.

No, really, it’s quite good. You should definitely check it out, particularly if you’re around 40 and can name the second single off Good Trouble without thinking about it. The pinched-nose affectations K-Crone incorporated into his vocals in the ’90s (which made Building the Bridge and the REO half of the Arch Allies live record unlistenable) have been subsumed to a large extent. Neal Doughty, the band’s keyboardist and longtime secret weapon, provides all the great low-mix color and texture, as he has for almost 40 years. And though I miss Gary Richrath’s chunka-chunka burnin’ chords and chirping solos, my appreciation for Dave Amato has finally exited the grudging stage.

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Thursday, February 5th, 2009

CD Review: Frank Sinatra, “From the Heart”

by Dw. Dunphy

Frank Sinatra – From the Heart (2009, Legacy)
purchase this album (Amazon)

Valentine’s Day – depending on your walk of life, it’s either a splendid day of warm, romantic thoughts and a gimme so far as “gettin’ some tonight,” or it’s a Hallmark sham of an institution to remind us that all our friends are happily married and having kids, but we’re about to dip our Doritos into another vat of guacamole all alone. Since I’m flying solo this year, guess who’s fattening up on avocado?

You don’t have to be a heartless cynic to see the strings attached to this high holiday of chocolate-covered, heart-shaped, red crepe emotion. Take, for instance, Sony Legacy’s From The Heart collection. Eight CDs cut and pasted together to capitalize celebrate the spirit of l’amour, all representing a different demographic: Billie Holliday and Miles Davis if you love it jazzy, Babyface if you love it smooth and sensitive, The Isley Brothers if you don’t mind a little rugburn with your affection, Dolly Parton if you like doin’ the nasty while the livestock watches, and Air Supply if the woman in your life is actually a dude (sorry, cheap shot.)

But what to make of Frank Sinatra’s From the Heart? It doesn’t seem right to co-opt the Chairman of the Board for such a crass cash-in, and besides, we remember him more for his zingers and sad songs than for mushy love. “The Lady Is a Tramp”? How about “One for My Baby (And One More for the Road)”? Worse, it’s the same album the label released last year under the umbrella of Beautiful Ballads & Love Songs, so not only are they messing around with Ol’ Blue Eyes, they’re regifting him too. Yet there is one saving grace to this: if you are not an aficionado and have been looking to get your feet wet, this is an affordable starter set that’s full of appeal. (more…)

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Friday, December 19th, 2008

The Nineteenth Day of Mellowmas: Archiemas!

by Jeff Giles and Jason Hare

Jason: So before we start, Jeff, I’d like you to tell our readers about how you felt when this CD showed up on your doorstep. Sent lovingly by yours truly.

Jeff: Well, for some strange reason, you insisted on requiring a signature for delivery.

Jason: That wasn’t me. That was Amazon. But okay, I’ll take the credit.

Jeff: And the UPS guy happened to show up when I wasn’t home.  So I spent an entire day wondering what wonderful gift someone might have sent me.

Jason: Go on.

Jeff: Something so precious that it needed a signature.

Jason: Yes. YES.

Jeff: It had to be valuable!

Jason: Like a delicate Christmas ornament! Or a puppy!

Jeff: Mayhap! And then the guy showed up, and it was just this dinky little box. And I opened it…and then…

Jason: Go on…

Jeff: Hang on, I need a moment.

Jason: Take your time. Our readers will wait.

Jeff: I opened it, and there…There was this THING…

Jason: …Yes? Yes?

Jeff: Oh, it was awful.

Jason: Tell me. Tell us.

Jeff: It was The Archies Christmas Album featuring Betty & Veronica.

Archies Christmas Party! COME ON!

Jason: YES. It WAS. Did you scream out, “MOTHERFUCKER!”? Because that’s what I did when you sent me the Judy Collins CD.

Jeff: I think I may have done that, actually. And then I checked the receipt, and it had your name on it. Along with a brief note.

Jason: …which said…?

Jeff: “Suck it!”

Jason: YES! I wanted to write, “Suck it, fuckface!” but I wasn’t sure if Amazon would stop it from going out.

Jeff: You are a bastard. You really, truly are.

Jason: Yay! Mellowmas, Mellowmas, have a merry Mellowmas!

Jeff: We’ll find out when I send you a copy of — well, we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Jason: I threw the Judy Collins CD across the room, which was a bad idea because now the CD case is cracked and I can’t give it to my Aunt. I mean, sure, I could put it in a new case, but that’s a waste of a new case.

Jeff: Just use one of the Mardones cases. (Note: back in 2006, Jeff “graciously” sent Jason the entire Benny Mardones discography.  Prick.)

Jason: Ooooh! You asshole!

Jeff: Or have you had those bronzed?

Jason: They sat on the floor under my desk at work until I left that job. When I was packing up my shit, I was tempted to just leave them there for the next occupant.

Jeff: You should have!

Jason: Instead — and I don’t know why — I took them home. I have no idea where they are now. One, I think, is underneath the litter box.

Jeff: Oh, I know why.

Jason: Why?

Jeff: Because you love Benny Mardones.

Jason: Shit. You have me there.

Jeff: You looooooooooooove him.

Jason: I do kind of looooooove him. Even though I’ve still only heard “Into the Night.”

Jeff: Which sucks, but is still thousands of times better than anything on this piece of shit CD.

Jason: Well, let’s see, shall we?

Jeff: We shall.

Jason: Onto the Archies!

The Archies — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (download)

Archies Christmas Party! COME ON!

From The Archies Christmas Album Featuring Betty and Veronica Amazon iTunes

Jeff: I hate it already. I hate you even more.

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha! This is awful!

Jeff: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Jason: It might have almost – ALMOST – made sense in 1998.

Jeff: This is like “Sugar Sugar” after someone took a dump on it.

Jason: Ha! Shitty Sugar!

Jeff: Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Jason: I wonder: is this Betty or Veronica?

Jeff: I know we’re supposed to snark on these songs, but all I want to do is swear.

Jason: Man, can you hear the AutoTune? ‘Cause I can totally hear the AutoTune. Key change! Probably achieved by a pitch shift in ProTools!

Jeff: This is the worst thing I’ve ever heard for Mellowmas.

Jason: Oh, stop it.

Jeff: No, I’m serious.

Jason: It’s nowhere NEAR the worst thing you’ve ever heard for Mellowmas.

Jeff: It is!

Jason: It isn’t. You’re being melodramatic. Stop it.

Jeff: I’m not either.

Jason: Yes, you are. Think back.

Jeff: I want to punch this girl. And you. And then the girl again.

Jason: Ha! Hang on, I found the MySpace pages for these girls.

Jeff: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. I was hoping they were Ron Dante after some kind of gross post-production.

Jason: Kelly Lynn and Danielle van Zyl.

Jeff: Hey, these girls are built like the real Betty and Veronica! Suddenly, I like this song more.

Jason: I’m glad you mentioned him. Have you noticed something interesting about this album? It’s The Archies Christmas Album featuring Betty & Veronica. And they’re not kidding. Archie — Ron Dante — gets, like, NO singing time. You heard him a little bit at the end of that track. But the Archies people are no idiots.

Jeff: Says you. And even if they aren’t idiots, they’re still evil.

Jason: They know that kids who read Archie comics, and listen to this stuff, don’t want to hear 100-year-old Ron Dante.

Jeff: KIDS DON’T READ ARCHIE COMICS!

Jason: They don’t? I know I did when I was a kid. But then again, I listen to Mellow Gold, so go figure.

Jeff: Oh my God. Nobody ever slapped you with a rolled-up Spider-Man?

Jason: I had a huge collection of Archie comics. And not just mine — I had my mother’s, too.

Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Jason: Oh, fuck you!

Jeff: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha hah ha hahahahahaha

Jason: If I had known this was going to be a point of teasing, I never would have brought it up. FUCK.

Jeff: I saw Mommy reading Archie comics…

Jason: At least my mom’s not a prostitute. Because yours totally is. I’m just saying. I saw your mommy blowing Santa Claus. And by “Santa Claus,” I mean “me.”

Jeff: At least my mom doesn’t call my dad Mr. Weatherbee.

Jason: You wanna listen to another one? Let’s listen to one of the Archies-centric tracks. Let’s listen to “Archie’s Christmas Party.”

Jeff: Another one? Shit.

Jason: Hey, come on. Ron Dante needs our support.

Jeff: He needs a punch in the head.

Jason: You think that cruise line gig is paying the bills? No siree.

Jeff: Cruise line whaaa?

Jason: Yeah. I, uh, looked him up too.

Jeff: Man, if I bought tickets for a cruise and Ron Dante was the entertainment, I would fucking kill somebody.

Jason: You’d jump off the ship?

Jeff: Jump off? With an open bar? Don’t be stupid. I said I’d kill SOMEONE.

Jason: Dammit. I was hoping you’d jump off. I’m already on the cruise line page, ready to buy you a ticket.

Jeff: Does Ron bring Kelly-Lynn and Danielle on these cruises?

Jason: I’m glad you asked.

Jeff: Ha!

Jason: There he is! He actually looks pretty good. Well preserved.

Jeff: There is no God.

Jason: Only Jughead.

Jeff: Ha ha ha!

Jason: “Archie’s Christmas Party” or “Here Comes Santa Claus.” Both feature a sliver of Dante. Take your pick.

Jeff: I have “Party” cued up.

Jason: Okay. Let’s give our readers what they deserve! More Archies!

The Archies — Archie’s Christmas Party (download)

Archies Christmas Party! COME ON!

From The Archies Christmas Album Featuring Betty and Veronica Amazon iTunes

Jason: Oooh, tambourine! I think that’s Betty singing. Just FYI.

Jeff: Again, I am filled with hate.

Jason: It’s Archie’s Christmas Partyyyyy! We’re gonna have fun! Clap! Clap clap!

Jeff: I wonder if it’s a rainbow party?

Jason: Betty and Veronica will sing along! Archie will stand around and eat pureed food! Reggie will give Hot Dog a reacharound!

Jeff: Ha ha ha!

Jason: Wait, they just promised us “famous names.”

Jeff: Do these people really think they’re jump-starting the franchise with this record?

Jason: I have no idea.

Jeff: No one is going to buy this. I’m surprised you didn’t get a signed letter from Ron Dante.

Jason: I thought Ron Dante would be driving the UPS truck! Still no Archie on this track, though.

Jeff: Oh, there he is.

Jeff: I think I hear his gums rattling.

Jason: He actually sounds pretty good, all things considered. Like, you know, his AGE.

Jeff: Jesus Christ, this is lame.

Jason: Archie’s Christmas Party! COME ON! COME ON! Archie’s Christmas Party!

Jason: I wonder what Ron Dante thinks when he sings this stuff.
“I get to eat tonight!”

Jeff: How badly would you want to change careers if you played on this album?

Jason: You know, I’m glad you asked that. I always think about these session musicians.

Jeff: Oh no. Did you look them up, too?

Jason: Um…maybe. I looked up the bassist. Leave me alone.

Jeff: Tell me it’s the same guy you stalked at the Air Supply concert.

Jason: Ha ha ha ha! I WISH! I love that guy! The bassist plays on oldies cruises. I’m not sure if he plays with Ron Dante, though. Probably.

Jeff: In more ways than one!

Jason: ZING!

Jeff: ZANG! So anyway, those songs suck.

Jason: True dat.

Jeff: Just like everything else on this horrible album.

Jason: But that’s why we feature them this Mellowmas.

Jeff: It’s the Mellowmas spirit.

Jason: And that’s why I sent them to you. Enjoy, asshole. Merry Mellowmas.

Jeff: I hope you choke on that smug grin you’re wearing, dickhole. Merry Mellowmas to you.

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Saturday, December 6th, 2008

The Sixth Day of Mellowmas: Boltonmas!

by Jeff Giles and Jason Hare

We try not to repeat artists we’ve covered in years past during The 25 Days of Mellowmas, but today we make an exception. We had to. Look at that album cover below.  Look at stupid, smug Michael Bolton.  Look how he’s taunting us, almost saying, “take your best shot, assholes.”  Mr. Bolton, the gauntlet has been thrown!

Michael Bolton — Silent Night (download)

bolton.jpg

From Swingin’ Christmas Amazon iTunes

Jeff: So gentle and pretty. And Bolton isn’t even shouting!

Jason: Didn’t we cover Bolton last year?

Jeff: I feel like we did, yeah. Maybe it was “Silent Night.”

Jason: No, we didn’t do this one. Last year he was yelling at us. Now he’s just kind of whimpering soulfully.

Jeff: I can take a little Bolton when it’s restrained like this.

Jason: This isn’t that bad, actually. Oooh, falsetto!

Jeff: I do miss the mullet on the cover. He looks a little too respectable.

Jason: I don’t hate this too much. I mean, it’s still Bolton, but it’s really not bad.

Jeff: Wait, do you hear that? He’s starting to fuck around with the melody.

Jason: A little, yes.

Jeff: He’s starting…he’s starting to yell.

Jason: I think we’re going to get some more.

Jeff: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallelujah!

Jason: Here it comes, on “Christ…”

Jeff: Why does he do this every time?

Jason: Because he’s really, really angry, Jeff. KEY CHANGE!

Jeff: Dude, he just hummed a little before he yelled “Silent night.”

Jason: He did? There’s the swing in “Swingin’ Christmas!” LOVE’S PURE LIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

Jeff: I tell you what, though: I am literally wishing for a silent night right now.

Jason: It’s like he’s saying, “now you’re all in big, big trouble.” Does Michael Bolton have kids?

Jeff: Oh, imagine if he did? See? More humming!

Jason: Yup, there it is. He got quiet again at the end.

Jeff: Bolton just gave us a hummer!

Jason: This is like a psychological mind-fuck. This is probably what he does with Nicolette. He’s all gentle, then he fucking freaks out, and then he’s quiet again. And she’s stuck there going, “wait, what just happened?”

Jeff: I think you may have unlocked the source of Bolton’s mysterious appeal. He lures the bitches in, scares them half to death, and then soothes them. I wonder if anyone has written a thesis about his music. I’d like to see his shout-to-sing ratio plotted out on a graph.

Jason: I imagine it probably got higher after the mid-’90s. Look at the cover. Doesn’t it look like that star is going right into his head?

Jeff: There’s room for a galaxy in there.

Jason: It’s like it had a mission — “destroy the mullet” — and then got all confused when it got there. Like Nicolette. Poor Nicolette.

Jeff: She knew what she was getting into.

Jason: He probably starts singing this shit in October.

Jeff: Are you kidding? He probably squeezed this out in one take between rounds of golf in April.

Jason: Still, I have to be honest. That was nowhere near as bad as it could’ve been, really. The arrangement was pretty classy. Yeah, he got a little pissy in the middle, but still, we could have gotten it so much worse. It’s like he tapped us on the head a little instead of punching us in the teeth.

Jeff: No, that’s what’s frustrating about Bolton. He has a modicum of talent, and enough dough to afford real producers and musicians, but he insists on screwing things up — and not in a really interesting way. Kind of like that Air Supply record we listened to during our first Mellowmas.

Jason: I still remember that one! “Love Is All.”

Jeff: I can’t believe you remember the title.

Jason: Yeah, me neither. Sad, isn’t it?

Jeff: I’m sorry, what did you say? I can’t stop staring at that star next to Bolton’s head now. I think it’s talking to me.

Jason: I don’t know how I feel about this one. I mean, I’m not surprised like I was last year with Carrack, but I’m not throwing it out the window with Little River Band and Judy Collins, either.

Jeff: Man, I bet Bolton could sing the fuck out of “Song for Sarajevo.”

Jason: Seriously! And he’d yell just loud enough for me to make a donation. He’d probably set off the landmines with his voice.

Jeff: That would be the best Mellowmas present ever.

Jason: What, Bolton thousands and thousands of miles away, dodging landmines? Agreed.

Jeff: Who said anything about dodging them?

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Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Into the Ear of Madness: Week 20 — More Power, Ballad Style

by Terje Fjelde

Logo

Over the next year Terje Fjelde has agreed to listen to nothing but David Foster on his iPod. He’s loaded the thing with over 1,200 songs produced, arranged, composed, and/or played by the man. A deal with the devil? He keeps wondering.

I’m on vacation, spending the rest of the week by the Mediterranean, but hagen wouldn’t let me off the hook, so here’s a little something for you to enjoy while I’m away. Due to the circumstances, I’m afraid this week’s entry will be painfully short. I left my Fosterclopedia tools at home, so there’ll be no amusing anecdotes or pointless trivia to accompany the music. You may claim that I could have foreseen these events and written this week’s post ahead of schedule, and of course you’re absolutely right. But that’s just not how I work. To paraphrase David Foster, I’m “living for the moment” (from his 1990 solo album River of Love).

“Hold Me Til the Morning Comes,” by Paul Anka

We’re starting this week with a duet. You may remember my duet ramblings from last time, when I mentioned the Paul Anka-Peter Cetera collaboration. I’m sure you were excited by the idea, and who am I to let you down? Here’s the track in all its splendor. Someone — I think some guy at a fan site — noted that it sounds like a lost track from Chicago 17, and I agree. Replace Mr. Anka with Bill Champlin and you’ve got a perfect Chicago ballad (”perfect” being a relative term, of course) in the style of “Hard Habit to Break.”

“I Can Wait Forever,” by Air Supply (from the Ghostbusters soundtrack)

And then we have this memorable ballad from Australia’s most popular soft rockers. It’s my favorite Air Supply ballad, if indeed there is such a thing. “I Can Wait Forever” is a tight, solid David Foster production in the style that made him so famous (or infamous, depending on your tastes) in the early 1980s. In fact, both of the featured songs’ melodies are really strong and infectious. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming these tunes as you’re walking home from work this afternoon; I know I do it on a pretty regular basis (note the deliberate ambiguity here).

That’s all for this week. We’ll soon be done with all these power ballads, and then we’ll enter the realm of David Foster: The Solo Artist. Well, gotta go — I have an appointment with Michael Caine and Steve Martin in about half an hour.

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Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

CAPTAIN VIDEO!: Air Supply, “Making Love Out of Nothing At All”

by Jeff Giles

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Greetings, Videots!

Apologies for the long delay between transmissions, but apparently, some strange things were afoot at Mission Control — the S.S. M.T.V. wasn’t able to raise anyone at the home base for months. It seems as though everything’s back up and running now, so if you’ve got the stomach for it, let’s see what dreaded beast we’ve been able to drag out of the 1980th Dimension this month, shall we?

Fuck! It’s Air Supply!

CAPTAIN VIDEO! will understand if you want to run now, Videots — this could get ugly in a hurry. First of all, Air Supply sucks; second, Air Supply videos suck; and third, where Air Supply songs and videos go, dozens of impassioned housewives inevitably follow. In other words, we might very well soon be pelted with granny panties and harsh words from Airheads all over the Web.

Are you still with us? Are you sure? Okay, let’s get this party started. Well, not a party, really; we are talking about “Making Love Out of Nothing At All,” after all. More like a sunset walk on the beach. (A beach littered with Members Only jackets and high-pitched wailing, but still.) (more…)

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