Darren Robbins: This song was the exact turning point for Adams. Up until then, his music has a certain us-against-them quality. While “Run To You” is not a bad song per se, it and the entirety of Reckless (the album on which it appears) is much too polished for my taste.

I like to think that if time travel really were possible, the first thing I’d do is travel back in time and tell Bryan Adams 1984 that I have two songs I’d like to play for him: “All For Love” & “I Wanna Be Your Underwear”. Why, you ask? Because I wanna see Bryan 1984 wrinkle his nose and shout profanities and struggle to find the “off” button before being subjected to another note, all the while trying to keep his lunch down. By doing so, I think I could make the world a better place for everyone.

Dw. Dunphy: About a year ago I got the Live Aid DVD set. I was flipping through chapters and somehow landed on Bryan Adams. Not literally, of course, ’cause I’d have killed him. (Ba-doo-sha! Try the brisket!) At any rate, my brother John walked into the room intrigued. Then he noticed what he was hearing and said, “Oh, I forgot Bryan Adams used to be a rock guy.” And with that one statement the entirety of the Reckless album was put into perspective.

Beau Dure: The first Bryan Adams song I heard was “Cuts Like a Knife.” Good solid rock song. He has spent the rest of his life slowly and painfully sliding into uselessness.

Maybe not that slowly — “Summer of ‘69″ makes me wish the electric guitar had never been invented. (more…)

Today we’re going to finish up with the story of my collection.

As I mentioned last week, I consider “The Collection” to be complete, i.e. I own a hard copy of all but one impossible song that charted in the Hot 100 during the 1980s. But just because it’s complete doesn’t mean I stopped collecting. I’m currently working on obtaining the entirety of both the Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop chart and the Dance chart from the ’80s. And I’m not against also getting stuff from the Adult Contemporary, Rock, Country, and Bubbling Under charts, but those aren’t ones I’m targeting directly at this point.

As of today, my entire stash of ‘80s music consists of 2,117 LPs, 1,127 CDs, and 949 45s; I’ve listened to every single one of them from start to finish, note for sometimes painful note. Throughout all of this I’ve learned that the differences between Def Leppard and Scott Baio songs are more immense than you could ever imagine. So, I consider myself an expert in ‘80s music. I don’t know the stories and facts of every band in the decade, but I do know every song that was a hit and tens-of-thousands that weren’t. And I enjoy the songs that most people either have never heard, or haven’t heard in 20-some years. “Walk Like an Egyptian” does nothing for me. However, Alfonso Ribiero’s “Dance Baby” brings a joyful tear to my eye. I’m a total music geek and I’m okay with it.

This week we continue looking at the bottom of the Billboard Hot 100 chart with more artists that begin with the letter “B.”

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Zack: I remember when Lenny Kravitz was first thrust upon the music world by a few cynical record company executives. It seemed like he had been designed by a committee to take advantage of all the latest pop-culture trends. Dreadlocks were in, so they gave him dreads. Tattoos and nose rings were still edgy and cool, so those were included. It was like watching a rock-star version of Poochie. One of the talking points that was pushed was that he was a talented songwriter, and every time I heard that spewing from the mouth of some idiot VJ I felt like I’d been taking crazy pills. Some sample lyrics from Lenny’s quill:

We’ve got to hug and rub-a-dub
We got to dance and be in love

Based on his biography, Lenny doesn’t sound like such a bad guy, and this is actually a well-produced video, but I hate hate hate the song.

Robert: I shouldn’t hate Lenny because he’s beautiful, but I do, and it’s because he knows he’s beautiful. He has a few good songs, but I can’t think of any I’ve liked past the Are You Gonna Go My Way album. The title track is one of his best singles, but I’m sure classic-rock fans could tell me note for note who Lenny’s ripping off in this song.

Dunphy: Y’know, I don’t mind “Are You Gonna Go My Way” much. This and “Believe” made the insurgent grunge brigade a little easier to tolerate. Maybe not by much, but still. “We’ve got to hug and rub-a-dub,” while being a fireable offense, certainly had dynamism against “Kill the pain, oh the pain, heroin? Yes, please …”

Jeff: How do I hate thee, Lenny? Let me count the ways. If I had a dollar for every hour Lenny Kravitz has sucked, I’d be … I’d be even richer than Lenny Kravitz, actually, but not by much. How depressing.

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On Tuesday the B-52’s will release their first album of new material in 16 years: Funplex. While that’s a long stretch between releases, the band wasn’t exactly quiet during that period — they toured every few years or so, and in 1996 vocalist/yelper/cheerleader Fred Schneider released his second solo album, the surprisingly gritty and punkish Just Fred.

Working with “recorder” Steve “Don’t Call Me a ‘Producer’” Albini and members of Six Finger Satellite, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, and the Supersuckers, Just Fred is a raw take on the party rock the B-52’s are known for, recalling their earlier CBGB’s days. Trouble is, coming after the huge pop success of Cosmic Thing and, to a lesser extent, Good Stuff, B-52’s fans didn’t quite know how to take it.

Dishing out equal portions of camp and indie rock, lead single “Whip” (download) has Fred posturing and growling until he becomes positively Lydon-esque. All together now — FORTY LASH-SHESSS! FORTY LASHES FROM YOUR EYYYYYYYEEESSS!

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