Posts Tagged ‘Bonnie Tyler’

Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 93

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We’re finishing up the letter T this week as we take a look at some more great — and shitty — songs from the ’80s that never cracked the Billboard Top 40.

Traveling Wilburys
“Handle With Care” — 1988, #45 (download)
“End of the Line” — 1989, #63 (download)


If I had to pick one head-scratching moment from the ‘80s that trumps all others there’d be a knock-down-drag-out fight, but the Traveling Wilburys not having a ridiculous amount of success might come out on top. I just don’t understand how a group that consisted of George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Tom Petty, and Jeff Lynne wasn’t the biggest group in the world. And it’s not like they had these totally bullshit, indulgent songs, either — both of the featured tracks here are wonderful. We dropped the ball on this one, America!

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CD Review: Kimberly Caldwell, “Without Regret”

I’ve been forced over the past few years to create a new gauge for music discrimination: good, bad and American Idol. I’ll leave the show bashing to someone else because, good Lord, I’ve done enough of that. When it comes to the contestants and their recordings, most tend to molder in a state of being okay — not good, not bad. The melodies are mostly familiar pop progressions, the topics steadfastly focused on the in love/out of love variety and hooks like the final chorus or pre-chorus acoustic breakdown, all to soak in every note of the singer’s vocal acrobatics, are abused with dispassionate abandon. The reason is simple: the songs were written for the broadest spectrum so that anyone, from a top tier contestant to a bottom rung warbler, could easily stand behind the microphone. It may be their album, but they’re often the most interchangeable part of the arrangement.

This makes Kimberly Caldwell’s debut disc Without Regret all the more confounding. She was a season two participant and, therefore, should have enough distance from the show, its format, and its Play-Doh squeeze mold process. Regrettably, she doesn’t take advantage of it. On the surface, the disc is not terrible and those who aren’t inclined to be picky will probably enjoy it for what it is — a meticulously formulated pop-rock album. Caldwell’s voice is on the husky side, giving her at times the vocal gravitas of Kim Carnes or Bonnie Tyler. None of the songs have the spunky mystery of “Bette Davis Eyes” or the bombast of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” She expresses devotion to her partner, her heartbreak over his leaving, her cliched “I Will Survive”-style anthem, her rapture that said partner is back in her life or new partner has replaced old partner. There’s no deviation, and neither is there much variety in the melodies; it’s the same repeated batch of notes as on prior contestants’ recordings, and bloody likely the same that will be on future ones too. (more…)

Death by Power Ballad: Bonnie Tyler, “Lovers Again”

Back in her late-70s, “It’s a Heartache” period, gravelly voiced Bonnie Tyler was viewed chiefly as Rod Stewart with a vagina (a designation many have claimed simply describes Stewart himself). When that dubious crown was rather quickly lifted from her head and placed just above the Bette Davis eyes of Kim Carnes, Tyler was left bereft of both an identifying hook for her career, as well as the hit songs that usually comprise such a career. This unfortunate situation lasted until she encountered three words that completely turned her life and livelihood around:

Jim. Fucking. Steinman.

Once Meat Loaf’s popularity had disappeared into a fog of dry ice, Steinman was left with a thousand overblown ideas and no one to turn them into crappy records. Oh, sure, he had made a ridiculous solo album (Bad for Good) with ideas he had been saving for Bat Out of Hell’s sequel, but he needed a unique, powerful voice worthy of his theatrical, pomporific muse, and his mangy tenor wasn’t gonna cut it.

See, Steinman has long harbored the wish to be another Andrew Lloyd Webber, when wasn’t trying to recreate Springsteen’s Born to Run, and in Bonnie Tyler, he found just the set of pipes he needed to kinda-sorta do both. He (over)produced her 1983 smash Faster than the Speed of Night, with its internationally loved/reviled hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and the two began what could only have been a beautiful/loud/bombastic partnership. They continued their winning streak with “Holding Out for a Hero,” another Steinman song most of us associate with hick teenagers playing chicken with tractors. (more…)