My father was admitted into the hospital this week complaining of chest pains; because he’d had bypass surgery in 1992, the doctors were very concerned about the condition of his heart. Let me tell you that as a 71-year-old man, he’s a strong and stubborn as he was when I was growing up. My updates came from my mother, who called me from her cell phone, and in her voice was the same tension and impatience she’s always had with doctors; years of nursing experience will do that to you. My parents have been married for 46 years and as they get older I’ve come to appreciate the tough times they endured, and how strong their love is. I didn’t always think that way. It wasn’t until my father’s heart surgery in ’92 that I really saw how much they do care for each other.
Looking at their relationship, I can’t help but think about my own marriage to Julie. I hope that when Sophie and Jacob reflect on their childhood, they’ll have good recollections of how much their dad loved their mom. Julie and I laugh and kid each other, we’re always hugging and kissing, and we are always there to comfort one another during the troubling times. At times I shake my head when I pause to think about the 15 years we’ve been married. That number seems like a long time, and yet it’s flitted by as a feather in the wind. Like a feather, there have been moments when we’re very high and the joy of life carries us along — and then there are those days when the wind has calmed and the feather lays on the ground, waiting for something to come along and carry us onward.
Music has always been a way in which we’ve bonded. We share our musical tastes and turn one another on to artists and sounds that we might not have otherwise listened to. I forced Springsteen upon her (she’s a big fan now, just ask her) and she brought into my world many beautiful female singers such as Shawn Colvin, Patty Griffin and Bonnie Raitt. More recently, she has fallen in love with the music of Brandi Carlile. Okay, maybe not all of her music, but one song, “Tragedy,” which was featured in a heartbreaking episode of Grey’s Anatomy a couple of seasons ago. On this song Carlile sings like an open wound, so sad and passionate; it’s chilling. I sought out more of Carlile’s music and came across her 2007 album, The Story. It’s a CD of bluesy, polished rock that bears the rootsy trademark of its producer, T-Bone Burnett. Among the songs, the title track immediately spoke to me on musical and emotional levels. (more…)
