Welcome back, everyone, to yet another latest edition of CHART ATTACK! As you know, we take the good charts with the bad charts ’round here. Two weeks ago, we covered a pretty stellar week from 1980. This week? Well, while we have some strong tunes this week, there are also some clunkers, too. Check ‘em out as we attack October 19, 1991!
10. Love…Thy Will Be Done — Martika 9. Can’t Stop This Thing We Started — Bryan Adams 8. Everybody Plays the Fool — Aaron Neville 7. I Adore Mi Amor — Color Me Badd 6. Good Vibrations — Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch Featuring Loleatta Holloway 5. Something to Talk About — Bonnie Raitt 4. Hole Hearted — Extreme 3. Romantic — Karyn White 2. Do Anything — Natural Selection Featuring Niki Haris 1. Emotions — Mariah Carey
You’ll be forgiven if you don’t remember this song — I know I don’t have no recollection of ever hearing it on the radio. “Toy Soldiers” might be the only song you remember of Martika’s (perhaps helped by Eminem’s sample of it in his 2005 song “Like Toy Soliders”), but she also reached #18 with “More Than You Know” and #25 with her cover of “I Feel the Earth Move,” in addition to peaking here at #10 with this song. You’ll also be forgiven if you knew this song but had no clue it was actually sung by Martika, since she sounds nothing like she did on “Toy Soldiers.” No, she sounds like she’s been taken hostage and forced to sing this song exactly the way someone else wants her to sing it…wait a minute, this song was written by Prince! Story checks out!
So yes, it’s true — for a brief, shining moment, Martika was a Prince Girl, which I think is something like being a Bond Girl but with a lot more patchouli. And she does a fine job with this song, although anybody really could’ve sung it; in fact,parts of her vocal are reminiscent of the Prince/Madonna “Love Song” duet from Like a Prayer. Musically, the song itself is a bore — the bass and drums are static throughout — but somehow ends up being oddly compelling. Prince created his own mix of the song (available on Martika’s greatest hits collection, which I double-dog dare you to buy), and he’s performed it live himself, too — our buddy (and diehard Prince fan) Pete from Ickmusic has gifted us with this version from 3/8/95, live from The Astoria in London. It’s just drums and bass until the three-and-a-half minute mark, but after that, we get a pretty good vocal from Prince. I’d say I prefer Martika’s original, but still, it’s pretty cool to have. Thanks, Pete!
Curious what Tika’s up to these days? Well, she hasn’t released an album as “Martika” since this one, 1991’s Martika’s Kitchen, but she’s released two albums with her husband, Michael Mozart (I don’t know if that’s his real name, and I don’t care) as part if the group Oppera. And more recently, she’s going by the stage name Vita Edit and starring as “Lolly Pop” in a web series entitled j8ded. Mozart is in it too, billed as Michael Daemon. Martika, how the hell did you wind up being stranger than Prince?
By the way, don’t be surprised if this song is in your head all day. I keep singing it to myself, but I replace the word “love” with random one-syllable words, like “scones” and “balls.” (more…)
As the days go by, I’m learning more and more that my son, who’s now one year old, seems to respond to music. Whenever my wife turns on CMT or I pop on a record, he stops in his tracks, stares at the noise coming out of the big machine, and then starts bobbing his head — actually, his entire upper body — to the tunes.
So, as of last Thursday I’ve decided to play him a “classic” record each morning as we’re getting ready for the day — you know, with the hope that he’ll grow up liking daddy’s music (God help him). I’ve had four opportunities so far and I’ve chosen Peter Gabriel’s So, Arcadia’s So Red the Rose, the Time’s Ice Cream Castles, and INXS’s Kick. He seemed to like Peter Gabriel and was dancing all over the place during “Red Rain” (the first time I’ve ever seen anyone dance to that song). He also bobbed his head quite a bit during INXS’s “Guns in the Sky,” and Arcadia’s “Election Day” had him swaying back and forth. Unfortunately, Morris Day and the Time seemed to do nothing for him, but I still have plenty of formidable years ahead to get my son to blow his funky horn like dad.
Now, back to the ass end of the 1980s, i.e. songs that charted below #40 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the Reagan years, featuring our final week of artists whose names begin with the letter P.
Billy Preston
“I’m Never Gonna Say Goodbye” — 1982, #88 (download)
Billy Preston & Syreeta
“One More Time for Love” — 1980, #52 (download)
Billy Preston’s smash duet with Syreeta, “With You I’m Born Again” puts me to sleep, so if I’m listening to Billy’s singles chronologically, I just never get to these. Man, “With You” must be the slowest ballad to chart in the decade. Not like either of these tunes here are barnburners, either. I’m pretty sure “One More Time for Love” is actually a really good song, but I haven’t been in the right mood to verify that in ages.
Pretenders
“Stop Your Sobbing” — 1980, #65 (download)
“Thin Line Between Love and Hate” — 1984, #83 (download)
“My Baby” — 1987, #64 (download)
Here’s one of those artists that I’m going to learn a lot about by reading the comments. They’re pretty much universally loved, but I, of course, can’t stand their music and think they are way overrated. But as with pretty much every artist I hate, there isn’t one thing I can pinpoint or one moment where I realized it, but there has never been a point in my life where I have cared to hear a Pretenders song. The 1986 #10 hit “Don’t Get Me Wrong” is the closest I come to enjoying one of their songs. I’d be completely content if I never heard any of these three songs again.
Most people born before 1990 have some familiarity with the rock band KISS. Fans my age (44) remember the glory years in the mid- to late ‘70s, while younger fans remember the reunion tours of the mid-’90s, or bass player Gene Simmons’s A&E reality show, Family Jewels. Hand in hand with familiarity come opinions regarding the efficacy of the group: Were they just a glam band with a great marketing plan? Is their music any good? Or as my friend Debbie said, “They’re okay, but they’re no Scorpions!”
I’d like to help the non-KISS fan here to:
recognize the musical appeal of the group;
know which albums to embrace and avoid;
gain a greater appreciation for what KISS did for live rock ‘n’ roll performance.
By the same token, KISS did (and continues to do) ridiculously stupid things, and pointing out some of those foibles makes for good sport. So let’s begin at the beginning with the first three albums, released in 1974 and ‘75.
I’m almost positive I’ve relayed this story at the site before, but since it fits so well with what we’re about to discuss, I’ll tell it again:
In early 1996, I was dating a girl — we’ll call her the Voluptuous Redhead — whose huge, um, tracts of land were dwarfed only by her solid religious convictions. Though I’ve been a fairly unrepentant heathen for most of my life, I was raised among religious people, and can play along when it’s called for (and in my early 20s, the heaving bosom of a young lady still constituted “called for”) — which is how I found myself, despite some rather profound misgivings, at a Jars of Clay/Michael W. Smith concert.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m relatively familiar with the pop/CCM crossover army of the ’80s and early ’90s, have spent my fair share of time listening to Smith and Amy Grant, and I actually enjoyed the first Jars of Clay album. I think Christianity — or at least its various rules and regulations — is pretty silly, but I admire the beliefs at its core, and although a lot of Christian music during that era was bogged down in hokey production, it can be pretty moving if it’s done right. All of which is to say that, in spite of my low expectations for the concert, I went in thinking it would at least be something I could sit through.
Casual observers of this series have probably wondered, more than once, why I’m bothering to track those rock-era singles that, like a dolphin rejected from Sea World, couldn’t quite jump through the brass ring. After all, who really cares about chart placements? And isn’t Number Two practically as good as Number One, particularly when everybody’s making so much money? But if there’s one decade that proves why this stuff is vitally important … to somebody, at least … it’s the ’90s.
To put it simply, the Billboard Hot 100 charts of that decade were messed up. (I put it somewhat less than simply in a long-winded column last year.) The pop radio format split in two, resulting in charts that rarely reflected anybody’s actual listening experience. Major labels stopped manufacturing singles for many artists (mostly white ones) in an effort to sell more albums, which resulted in huge radio hits that never qualified for the Hot 100. The advent of precise technology for measuring retail sales and radio airplay resulted in singles topping the charts and staying … and staying … and staying. And as I discussed last week, superstars like Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and Boyz II Men were so desperate to top the charts, and keep up with the competition, that they conspired with their labels to withhold the retail releases of their new singles until the songs peaked at radio, then flooded the marketplace with discounted product to ensure #1 chart debuts.
As a result of these and other, more random developments, the #2 singles of the ’90s were a fascinating bunch. There were huge hits that were simply blocked by huger ones, and great songs that stalled behind ones whose popularity now leaves us scratching our heads. There were oldies that re-emerged after decades, and the two longest-running chart hits of all time (for the moment). So away we go – and, as always, at the end of the column I’ll list some additional singles that were stranded at third base so we can argue which ones most deserved to score.
11. (tie) “Right Here, Right Now,”Jesus Jones; “P.A.S.S.I.O.N.,” Rhythm Syndicate; “Every Heartbeat,” Amy Grant; “It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over,” Lenny Kravitz; and “Fading Like a Flower (Every Time You Leave),”Roxette. What do these wildly disparate singles have in common? They all were blocked from the top spot during the summer of ’91 by the same song, Bryan Adams’ treacly Robin Hood anthem “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You.” (It was the first of three Adams soundtrack singles – all of them god-awful, in my opinion – to top the charts during the ’90s.) Adams spent seven weeks at #1 while holding off five different competitors – the highest number of second-place finishers thwarted by the same single since Percy Faith’s “Theme from A Summer Place” was #1 in 1960. The only one of the five to earn a second week at #2 was – surprise – “P.A.S.S.I.O.N.” In honor of that fact – and because its video is the only one of the five to feature fire (fire! fire!), scantily clad dancers and an atrocious white-boy rap — I’m happy to showcase it here. (more…)
I realize I’ve sort of hit upon a theme lately when it comes to LIT70s, but I don’t think it’s fair to limit just the Beach Boys to the Disco Hall of Shame. As we’ve seen over the past few months, there are plenty of other artists who jumped the disco bandwagon to revive a flagging career. There are also quite a few who started as disco artists, only to later change direction and deny their humble beginnings once they hit it big in their new genre.
Take, for example, “Cuts Like a Knife” rocker Bryan Adams. Or as we will all now know him, Disco Chipmunk.
Yes, it’s true: our leather-clad, fist-pumping, “normal” dude next door was once shaking it on the dance floor, and he wanted you to join him. His first single at the tender age of 18, “Let Me Take You Dancing” (download) was cowritten by Adams and his longtime writing partner Jim Vallance. The original Canadian version, a snippet of which you can hear on Vallace’s website, was more in a Nick Gilder vein, but the disco beat was still there. The single made a little noise up north, so for its American release, disco remixer John Luongo was called in to disco-fy the track even more.
Luongo’s solution was to beef up the beat a bit, add some percussion and handclaps, and speed up the track a bit. Trouble is, he didn’t bother to have Adams re-record his vocal track to match the new, obviously higher pitch, so — bam! — Disco Chipmunk.
Adams was understandably unhappy with the end result, but it did score a bit of disco club play and ended up helping garner Adams a full-fledged record deal with A&M Records, so it all worked out in the end.
Now is “Let Me Take You Dancing” a bad song by any stretch? That really depends on your tolerance for disco. If you enjoy some disco, like I do, it’s really not that offensive, if a little bland. The pre-chorus is actually sort of neat, and there are definitely flashes of Bryan Adams songs to come buried under the percussion and helium vocals. Unfortunately, Adams isn’t a big fan of the track, and so far the only place it’s made an appearance on CD is on a disc called Disco Box Vol. 2, Disco Heat released in 2000. If you have a real jones to own it, you can find it on Amazon, but you listed under Disco Heat Vol. 2.
Disco Chipmunk, awaaaaayyy!
“Let Me Take You Dancing” peaked at #76 on the Billboard Disco Top 80 Chart in 1979.
Hello again, folks! Last time we met, we reviewed a pretty awesome chart from June of 1975. Well, since I choose these charts pretty much at random, you had to know it was inevitable that our luck might not hold out. Or did it? I’ll be interested in hearing what you think — let’s take a look at the pop-filled chart for the week ending July 19, 1986!
Even in 1986, how did Rod Stewart keep a straight face when singing the line “I’m gonna give you my love touch”? No, even worse, let’s look at the middle of the song, where Rod actually sings “Oooh, you’re gonna get a/oooh, you’re gonna get a big love touch.” That’s the worst of the bunch. “A big love touch”? Shame on you, Rod. I’d even take you making love to the camera a la “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” over this dreck. And who had the idea for steel drums? What a terrible idea! Although I think it’d be fun to go to the Bahamas and ask a traditional steel drum band if they know “Love Touch.” (C’mon, do we really need to hear them play Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” yet again?)
All this being said…for some inexplicable reason, I like the chorus of this song. (Well, up until he says the words “love” and “touch,” anyway.) I specifically love the line “Just gimme a chance!” because of the way he pronounces “chance.” It sounds like Harry Caray.
This is the first of four songs on this week’s chart taken from a movie soundtrack. This one in particular is from Legal Eagles, and some brilliant director decided to set the (awful) video in a courtroom, inserting scenes from the movie featuring Robert Redford, Debra Winger and Daryl Hannah. Fortunately, all three actors had the good sense to not make themselves available for the video, unlike another certain movie star…well, you’ll see.
I awoke with a knee in my back and a song in my head. Crammed into a bed with Julie and Jacob, I teetered on the edge hanging over a gap between the mattress and the wall. I never expected to have Roger Daltrey screaming in my skull at 9:00 on a Saturday morning. Alas, there he was and there he has stayed all week singing “Rebel,” the Bryan Adams/Jim Vallance-penned tune from his 1985 album, Under a Raging Moon.
Each trip back to Ohio conjures up new old memories. This summer the thoughts of the past have been thicker than ever as I continue to experiment with writing a book. The story I hope to tell deals with my formative years in North Olmsted, the people I was involved with, and the music I listened to the most at the time. Daltrey’s solo record occupied a great deal of time on the turntable. While other songs on Under a Raging Moon received radio airplay and the title track gained attention for its tribute to Keith Moon, this one track, which Adams and Vallance wrote specifically for the Who frontman, was my favorite. It’s raw, emotional, and reflective about returning to your hometown after leaving on your own terms, and I don’t think anyone can inhabit the number like Daltrey did.
Back in the ’80s, while I toiled away my free time in my parents’ basement, I longed for fame and fortune, hoping to become a famous movie director, someone who could change the world with powerful stories only I could tell. My hometown in the Cleveland suburbs felt constrictive, as if I would never achieve my dreams there. It wasn’t just the walls of the basement that were closing in; it was the whole damn city. The world seemed bigger outside the city limits; I felt like I was bigger than North Olmsted. Once I left I never wanted to come back. (more…)
Darren Robbins: This song was the exact turning point for Adams. Up until then, his music has a certain us-against-them quality. While “Run To You” is not a bad song per se, it and the entirety of Reckless (the album on which it appears) is much too polished for my taste.
I like to think that if time travel really were possible, the first thing I’d do is travel back in time and tell Bryan Adams 1984 that I have two songs I’d like to play for him: “All For Love” & “I Wanna Be Your Underwear”. Why, you ask? Because I wanna see Bryan 1984 wrinkle his nose and shout profanities and struggle to find the “off” button before being subjected to another note, all the while trying to keep his lunch down. By doing so, I think I could make the world a better place for everyone.
Dw. Dunphy: About a year ago I got the Live Aid DVD set. I was flipping through chapters and somehow landed on Bryan Adams. Not literally, of course, ’cause I’d have killed him. (Ba-doo-sha! Try the brisket!) At any rate, my brother John walked into the room intrigued. Then he noticed what he was hearing and said, “Oh, I forgot Bryan Adams used to be a rock guy.” And with that one statement the entirety of the Reckless album was put into perspective.
Beau Dure: The first Bryan Adams song I heard was “Cuts Like a Knife.” Good solid rock song. He has spent the rest of his life slowly and painfully sliding into uselessness.
Maybe not that slowly — “Summer of ‘69″ makes me wish the electric guitar had never been invented. (more…)
Welcome to a series I began at He’s A Whore and am proud-as-punch to continue here at Popdose. While not able to mention everything that happened, I’ve touched upon some of the key events that made 1996 what it was, warts ‘n’ all.
Kiss announce plans to reunite with original members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss as part of a “farewell” world tour.
In March, Phil Collins announces his decision to leave Genesis.
That same month, the Sex Pistols announce plans for a reunion tour marking the 20th anniversary of the band’s formation. (more…)
Casual observers of 
I realize I’ve sort of hit upon a theme lately when it comes to LIT70s, but I don’t think it’s fair to limit 
or on 
I awoke with a knee in my back and a song in my head. Crammed into a bed with Julie and Jacob, I teetered on the edge hanging over a gap between the mattress and the wall. I never expected to have Roger Daltrey screaming in my skull at 9:00 on a Saturday morning. Alas, there he was and there he has stayed all week singing 
