
I should begin this post by telling you that I’ve only seen two episodes of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series. I’ve never read a single volume of the Twilight or Sookie Stackhouse books, I’ve never seen an episode of True Blood, and I generally don’t give a shit about the current vampire obsession all the girls seem to have thrown themselves into. That said, I love the original 1992 Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, and this is as close as I’m going to get to joining the vampire love-in.
So, let’s take a step back to 1992, when Beverly Hills 90210 was one of the most popular shows on the teevee and Luke Perry was one of the biggest teen-dream heartthrobs. At the time Perry only had two films under his belt, neither of which his 90210 fans, mostly teenage girls, probably would have seen. When posters for Buffy the Vampire Slayer started showing up in movie theaters, all the teenyboppers — myself included — were aflutter. Not long after it opened, I read a review in some magazine that basically said the movie sucked, but do you think that stopped me from seeing it? As Whitney would say, “Hell to the no!”

First things first: Buffy the Vampire Slayer — the movie with Luke Perry and Kristy Swanson — had its moments, but ultimately sucked. When Buffy the Vampire Slayer made its debut as a TV series in 1997, it was the best thing to happen to TV until, well, Ronald Moore and David Eick’s “reimagined” version of Battlestar Galactica in 2003. It’s not hard to see why. Both series took stock fantasy/sci-fi narratives (i.e., vampires wreaking havoc on a community or humans trying to escape a relentless robotic enemy in space) and turned them on their heads to spotlight characters and stories where identity, morality, sexuality, gender, race and class were in flux. In the case of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the growth of the main characters was often spurred by the introduction of someone new. For the bookish Willow Rosenberg (as played by 